Apologize
by ioncewasspellbound
Summary: MERGE: "She can make hell feel like home."
1. Prologue: Riku

**Chapter One: Prologue-slash-All about Me**

_On the outside, I'm Mr. Popular, the hottest guy in school, Captain of the Blitzball team. _

_On the inside…well. Let's not even go there. _

Meet Riku Jenova-Haru Harada. Currently seventeen and a half and youngest in the Harada family. Has three older brothers, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, triplets, and is the son of Sephiroth Harada and deceased Jenova-Haru.

Commonly referred to as 'Mr. Popular', 'The Sex God', and, by his brothers, 'Dishrag'.

Me.

Simply put, I'm every girl's dream. I have it all; the looks, the talent, the money. Practically everyone I know wishes they were me, or wishes they were going out with me, at least.

Well, that's because nobody actually knows that, no, my life isn't perfect. It's not perfect at all.

You see, I was born in Midgar, a city ten hours away by plane from Destiny Islands, on the 13th March 1993. The sky was grey and thunderous, and my brothers were only five when…it happened.

Mum was in labor for hours. She had to go into cesarean when there started being complications. Dad was there, holding her hand, listening to her scream…right until the end.

I lived. Mum died.

Sometimes I wish it was the other way round.

Kadaj always had separation issues, and was devastated when he heard the news. He cried the longest and occasionally still cries now, even though he's now twenty-two, and technically a man, and shouldn't be sobbing his eyes out over something that happened approximately seventeen-and-a-half years ago. He's the eldest, and yet he acts the most immature. He's in love with his mother.

Yazoo is the second oldest triplet. He seems to be the calmest out of the three, and I've never actually seen him cry. But he has this permanent depressed look on his face, and sometimes I see him looking at me with a look of such remorse that I start feeling sick. He has this creepy way of staring you down with those empty teal-aquamarine eyes of his.

Loz is the youngest triplet, but he doesn't look at all like it. He's the bulkiest; I look like a toothpick next to him. No, he isn't fat, he's just got lots of muscle, and he's not afraid to show it. He uses violence to solve almost anything, and is a bit stupid, if you ask me. He sorta reminds me of Lexaeus, my Health teacher in sophomore year. I don't know why, but people seem to think that big bulky rockheads like Lexaeus are incapable of forming a proper sentence and always refer to themselves in the third person. No, Loz isn't like that, but he is sorta dumb. I mean, the only reason I'm not dead at the moment is because Loz accidentally shot the sky instead of me this summer.

I never knew my mother, so I can't exactly cry remembering her. Godsake, I was only a three weeks old when she was buried.

But Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz don't seem to understand that, and _make _me cry.

They haven't done any physical contact, especially since that time that they got caught trying to kill me when they were seven. I was sleeping and they accidentally-on-purpose pushed a pillow over my nose and mouth. Luckily our private maid was around; otherwise I wouldn't exist right now and wouldn't be telling you this.

But their words hurt just as much. They say horrible things, so horrible I can't even tell you them. Stuff like how it's all my fault Dad's unhappy, how if I didn't exist Mum would be alive, how I was all a mistake, that Mum and Dad never wanted me in the first place.

They say lots of worse stuff. But, like I said, I'm not telling you them. I personally don't know how the hell Mum managed to shove out Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz, but somehow had to go into caesarean and die just to have me, who, by the way, is the skinniest in the family.

Then there's my Dad. Sephiroth. He's also the Drama teacher at the high school I go to, Destiny College, but most people haven't realized that yet, and I haven't told anyone. Anyway, the way my Dad acts towards me is probably another reason why my brothers hate me so much. Dad shows a huge amount of favoritism. He gives me all the clothes, the biggest allowance, the most attention. He supports me in everything I do, lets me do whatever I want. I suppose you could say that I should be happy for that, and I am, but…

Sometimes, when he looks at me, I see the pain he's hiding. He's regretting, deep inside, that I was ever born. He wishes that my mother, Jenova-Haru, could have lived instead of me. He would give anything to have her back.

He doesn't really love me. He tries, he really does, but I know he's hiding a profound hatred. Or pain. Whatever.

Sometimes, when he looks at me, I see his mind drifting off to some unknown realm, his eyes saddening. He's told me time and again how I have my mother's eyes. I feel like a stranger in my own home.

School, however, is a different thing altogether.

The average kid groans at the thought of going to school in the morning. I, however, do not, which is probably due to the fact that I am not 'the average kid'.

School is where I get my release, like how druggies and emos get 'release' in drinking, injecting themselves with heroine, cutting themselves etc. etc. Well, I get release in school. School is where I can just relax.

I put on a whole new personality when I walk onto the school campus.

I'm not just Riku, the wimpy pushover little brother of the evil Harada triplets.

I'm _the_ Riku Harada, Mr. Popular, Star Player of the Destiny Dolphins. The guy that's got it all. The guy that can get any girl he wants, whenever he wants. The Drama King, the guy with the sexy voice and to-die-for acting skills, the guy who's got the main lead in every single play since, well, last year. The hottest guy in school, the guy with the washboard abs, the sexy packs, the heavenly muscles.

Yes, I have been described like that. Ever since a party I threw last year (while Dad was out for a dinner, and the Triplets of Terror were out drinking, or something), everyone seemed to get the impression that I was some kind of man whore. I don't exactly know why. Maybe because I snogged more girls that one night than ever before, but apart from that…

I mean, looking at me, you'd probably think that, at the age of seventeen and a half, I've already been in a gazillion girls' pants, but, well, I haven't. Sure, girls have begged me for it before, but…I dunno. I just don't feel comfortable deflowering some girl I barely even know, who is probably under heavy influence of alcohol, and/or drugs. Especially when said girl will probably wake up the next day, asking what the hell you are doing in her bed, even though she passed out before you could even give in to her sexual pressure.

I'm not the kind of guy that just goes to school to snog girls or hang around smoking in the toilets, or anything like that. (Hell, I don't even smoke. I mean, I might have taken a stick once or twice, but it's not like I'm addicted to it. I don't want to end up like that guy I always see in the hallway who's always twitching.)

I'm actually pretty smart. I get straight As in most of my subjects, with the exception of English 101. Yeh, I failed English 101 in junior year, which is why Xemnas, my old English teach, suggested I repeat.

I figured that my dad, being pretty cool and all, would immediately object and let me advance onto senior year like I should have. But, amazingly, Dad said no to letting me move on, supporting himself with some lousy excuse of teaching reputation and camaraderie and other stupid things like that.

Xemnas said that it is 'vital' that I get at least one A in English in order to pass the finals next year. He obviously doesn't realize that you don't actually need English 101 when you're an actor.

(You see, people like me don't need subjects that pointless to succeed in life. People like me just need to flash a smile to get what they want. I mean, I even got away shoplifting. It did require lip-locking with some girl with acne and hygiene issues, but it was worth it, since I got a free iTouch.)

I mean, I can speak the language fine—who cares about metaphors and hyperbole and all those other pointless terminology? Xemnas, apparently. Who doesn't believe that a D is an acceptable mark.

Which is why I'm repeating the whole entire junior year. I mean, once I got passed my whole I-hate-my-life stage, I realized that repeating junior year won't be all that bad. I mean, I still have some friends from the Blitzball team who'll be in junior year, like that really good swimmer kid, Tidus Wu, and his Rasta friend, Wakka.

And you can't forget _him_.

_Him_ being _Sora_.

Sora Kyumuke. The dork of all dorks. Heck, he doesn't even fall into that category. He's about a year younger than me, and he's the biggest freak in the whole Destiny College. His dark brown hair sticks up in impossible directions, and he has these weird bug-eyes. He seems to like staring at people, and chewing his shirt sleeves. He spends most of his days moping around the stairwells, his massive snowboard feet dragging along the ground. He's dyslexic, which is pretty funny sometimes, like when you're in class and you're writing on the board in cursive and he can't understand a thing. (I know this because I was in his class in sixth grade.) He smells of old socks and sweaty underwear, and usually dresses up in hoodies that are thrice his size. He almost always forgets to tie his shoelaces, so it's fun to trip him up.

Now, you'd probably think I'm mean, but that guy's just _asking _to be picked on. I mean, ever since he decided to throw all his lunch on my hair in freshmen year, people seem to be scared of standing in a two meter radius from Sora. It's pretty funny, really.

When I'm calling him names, or pushing him around, or sticking his head in the toilet…it's like I'm releasing all my anger at Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz on him. Seeing the petrified look on his face…it's priceless.

I'm going to be in the same class as him, this year, so probably I'll have _something _to laugh about…

* * *

**That's the first chappie of Apologize! Tell me what you think, and whether I should continue! **

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

**Check out my page and look out for Kairi's POV: Angel! **


	2. Fresh Meat

**Chapter Two: Fresh Meat**

I woke up on the first day of autumn semester feeling like shit.

My stomach was grumbling at me throughout the night, and I had my idiot brothers to thank for that. They were left in charge of me while Dad went out, but, as usual, they 'forgot' to come over. I knew what they were really doing was playing Grand Theft Auto in their apartment or something. I could've ordered a pizza, but it was a Sunday so all the take-outs were closed. And cooking wasn't an option; it was general knowledge that I couldn't cook without threatening to burn down the whole house.

I was just about ready to eat my pillow when I realized I had school that morning and that if I didn't get ready quick, I'd be late. I scratched my scalp pensively, contemplating whether or not to call up the guys and say we ditch, but it was the first day and I knew skipping was pointless.

I sighed in resign, pushed myself off the bed and stumbled over to the giant bedroom mirror. I scratched my stomach and yawned. I gave myself a once-over, grimacing at my bed-hair and the hours of brushing, curling and conditioning it would take to keep it looking flawless, and dragged myself to the shower.

I spent almost a quarter of an hour just soaking myself, had a little bit of right-hand time, scrubbed myself down and worked on my hair. It was hell to keep, but it was worth it. Having silver hair had it's perks.

It was the most unique silver color, differing from the pale grey tones the rest of my family had, along pretty much anyone else in school, really. It made my skin look paler and my eyes look shockingly brighter than they actually were, but, thankfully, most of the girls at school were into pale skin and anything vampire-esque. I'd had the genius idea to show up at the Halloween Dance as a vampire in sophomore year, and it had gotten me about ten blowjobs in one night.

Anyway.

I finished my hair-care routine, shaved, and then toweled myself down as I remorsefully glared at the new uniform. Principal Yoshida had enforced uniforms starting this year, and rumor had it that a certain _somebody _was to blame for it. (Ok, so I'd started that rumor, but that wasn't exactly the point.)

I managed to make myself look relatively sexy enough in uniform, loosening the tie and leaving some buttons undone. The black pants made me want to barf, but all in all it was manageable, and with a sigh I picked up my bookbag and headed downstairs.

It was nine; I had about thirty minutes to burn before class. I rummaged through the kitchen for breakfast, finding a packet of forgotten pancakes and stuffing them in my mouth before heading outside. I settled on using my car instead of my motorbike; after getting constantly yelled at the previous year by Yoshida for not wearing a helmet, I wasn't really in the mood.

The car was actually a present for my fifteenth birthday, from Dad. My brothers weren't really happy about that, and thought it would be fun to disable my brakes, which resulted in me almost killing myself, which I assumed was what they were aiming for.

Dad went berserk and would have sued the guy who sold us the car had I not intervened to calm him down. He instead threatened the guy with death until he made sure the brakes were pretty much glued to the sockets.

I was pretty damn proud of my ride, to be honest. It was a sleek, silver convertible, the girls loved it, and I felt fucking unbeatable riding it, so I suppose it was an okay birthday present.

I cruised to school, not really in a hurry, and smiled to myself as I pulled into the driveway.

I'm not going to lie, I did kind of miss it.

Destiny College was bustling with life. The freshmen this year looked especially irritating, ranging from deathly scared to the overly excited, believing all the "best four years of your lives" crap that was fed to them and talking about enrolling in the cheer squad and school spirit and shit; the sophomores looked about ready to die, already in their second year and realizing that high school sucked; the juniors reuniting after their long summer and grumbling about impending SATS; the seniors all about how they were going to fucking graduate this year and fuck yeah and fuck everything.

I climbed out of my car, stretching my arms and flashing a knowing smile at the group of girls who had apparently been waiting outside just to see me. They erupted into a chorus of "g'morning, Riku!"s, desperate for my attention, and I might have bothered to give them some had my friends not arrived.

I'd missed them over the summer, honestly. Wakka was a burly, Carribean, loud-mouthed guy who seemed to have an endless supply of dope and connections with pretty much everyone. He had a contagious smile and was admittedly the only other guy in school who was physically stronger than me. He could snap my arm in half with barely a flick of the wrist. It was a good thing we were friends.

Shuyin and Tidus were cousins, both blonde and on the Blitz team, and had that whole surfer look going on. They had a house next to the beach and were military kids, so their house was always open for parties. Tidus was almost as good as me at Blitzball, so he'd joined our pack in freshman year. Tidus and I were pretty close; he was young, fun, and generally easy to talk to.

"Nice to have you back, mon." Wakka greeted me with a pat on the back. He seemed to have gotten even _darker _over the summer.

"How's repeating junior year going for you?" Shuyin raised his eyebrows at me, an arm around his girlfriend, Lenne. Lenne was basically the co-pilot of the school and one of my exes. She had caramel-colored hair and deep brown eyes and was an excellent kisser, but our relationship had never really been heading anywhere, so we mutually agreed to break up. She started dating Shuyin a week later, which I honestly didn't really have a problem with.

Wakka laughed at Shuyin's jab, finding it oh-so-terribly funny for some reason, and I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"Hey, we was jus playin' wid ya, bro," Wakka apologized.

"Yeah." I chuckled. "I'm with this guy, so it shouldn't be so bad." I playfully shoved Tidus, who retaliated with a shove of his own.

"Man, you look like an old couple…" Shuuyin snorted, and Tidus and I just shared a grin.

I heard someone call my name and instinctively turned, spotting the cheer girls sashaying up to us, and forced a smile. They all looked hot, in their frilly little cheer uniform, but some of them looked like they were trying too hard.

Like the head cheerleader, for example. She went by Fang, and she was arguably the hottest girl in school, with dark skin and light-brown eyes and a C-cup and seemingly never-ending legs. We'd dated once, and broke up, but she obviously still hadn't gotten over it.

So I'd kind of gone through every single girl on the cheer team, but I'd been with Fang the longest. I broke up with her on her seventeenth birthday, around the end of summer term, and she took it far from lightly. I tried explaining, and she wouldn't have it; she insisted that I'd had too much to drink and that I'd feel better the next morning. I was about to leave when she started coming on to me, and when I declined her offer she started yelling at me. I started yelling back, and we were well into a fight when she suddenly passed out.

She woke up the next morning with a bad headache, and demanded to know what I was doing in her bed. I broke up with her then and there, when I was sure she could hear me clearly.

"How was your summer?" Vanille, a ginger-haired giggly cheerleader who seemed to constantly speak in high-pitch, initiated conversation.

"Great," I replied. "Lots of surfing."

"Lucky bastard," Tidus said. "He got to go to Miami Beach."

"Wow! Lucky~!" She gave me a wink. "Invite me next time?"

I smirked at her, holding back the urge to laugh at how much that was never going to happen. I felt Fang's gaze on me, silently taking me in, and I tried not to show how uncomfortable she was making me. A blonde was next to her, Ashley, or Amber or something, and I kept my eyes on her instead.

I started recounting my trip to Miami, adding in a few lies here and there to make it sound a lot more interesting than it actually was, but then the bell rang, signalling the beginning of the school day.

To begin the year, we were all assembled in the Auditorium for the annual welcome back speech. While most of the high school population fiddled with their phones and gossiped about their summer, Principal Yoshida tried to talk about uniforms enforcing 'citizenship' and 'equality' and shit, but he eventually realized no one was really listening and grudgingly dismissed us to class.

I shared Homeroom with Tidus so we walked together, Yuna accompanying us half the way. Tidus basically spent the whole time shamelessly flirting with her, not coming up with much results. I can see what Tidus saw in her—she was fucking hot and was battling Fang for the spot of hottest girl on campus, with her dark hair and mismatched eyes that just seemed to work with her skin tone, she was talented and smart and gorgeous and she was a damn good kisser. We'd dated for a while, before it became obvious it was killing Tidus and for the sake of our still blooming friendship I let her go. I slipped her a hint that she already had an admirer when we broke up, expecting her to figure it out pretty quickly, but...well, apparently she wasn't as smart as I thought.

I felt my Dad's eyes on me as soon as I entered the classroom, and purposely avoided his gaze, slumping into my seat and listening to the guys rattle on about their oh-so-interesting summers and the girls they'd apparently hooked up. I leaned on the base of my palm, pretending to seem interested and trying to hide the fact that I was bored out of my mind.

And then the door flew open, and in walked Sora Kyumuke.

* * *

He only looked slightly different. He'd grown taller over the summer and lost some of his baby fat, and he actually sort of looked his age for the first time since I'd met him. His hair was still wild and iuntamed and he was still scrawny, but he'd obviously had a growth spurt since sophomore year. He still looked dead nervous though, and he still had that deer-in-the-headlights look down pat, which was obvious by the way his eyes widened in fear when he saw me.

I sent him a mocking smile, already feeling excited. I was dying of boredom and the cure seemed to have arrived just on time.

"Mr. Kyumuke, late on his first day," Dad muttered, giving Sora a glare. He hated latecomers, and, seeing as he was probably out drinking the previous night, he wasn't in a good mood. "I see bad things for your future, Sora."

"E…Excuse me…" Sora mumbled, before adding: "S-Sephiroth-sama." Dad gave him a bored nod and he rushed to find a seat. Someone either tripped him over or he just stumbled over himself, because next thing I knew he was on the floor and his things were all over the place.

I looked over at Dad, who seemed oblivious to it all. Most of the teachers acted oblivious when it came to Sora. Half of them couldn't even remember his name.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was on my way to my locker after homeroom when I saw her.

She was obviously new, because I'd never seen her in my life. She was fucking gorgeous; she looked like she'd walked straight out of a Victoria's Secret pin-up magazine. She had that model-type, hourglass figure, the uniform hugging her in all the right places and fuck, just looking at her was getting me horny. Her legs seemed to go on forever, a rich, creamy-white, and her wine-red hair fell in waves over her right shoulder. I watched her lips curve upward in a half-smile as she talked, mesmerized by the action; they were pink and full and I found my thoughts straying, she looked like she'd be fucking amazing to make out with.

She made the school uniform look like some holy garment, I didn't know what the hell it was about her but my eyes were basically glued to her.

Tidus voiced out my thoughts before I did, letting out a low whistle. "And who is _that_?"

"I don't know," I could barely hear myself whisper as I struggled to pull away, my eyes running from her legs back up to her face and—shit.

She blinked at me, obviously just catching me obnoxiously checking her out, and her eyes were big and fucking blue and violet and whatthefuckisthatcolorevenna tural—

I was caught.

Finding no other possible option, I decided to settle on what I hoped was a charming wink and headed her way.

Trying to hide the fact that my heart was thudding harder and harder with each step I took, threatening to jump right out of my chest.


	3. Starstruck

**A/N: My sister begged me to update this, so I did. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three: Starstruck**

"Who's your friend?"

I was talking to the girls, but I kept my eyes on Kairi. She blinked at me innocently before looking downwards at her feet.

"Huh? Oh, this is Kairi," Lenne explained with a smile. "She's new around here."

"Really? Uh, nice to meetcha Kairi."

She raised her head and tilted her head to the side. "And you are?"

"Call me Riku," I replied with a smile. I noticed she had her schedule in hand and took it from her. "What you got next?"

"I got Gifted and Talented, while Kai's got Math," Lenne answered for her. She looked over my shoulder and waved, and I felt Shuyin's hand on my shoulder.

"What's up?" He flashed Lenne a smile, and paused when he saw Kairi. "Who's the new chick?"

"I'm Kairi," she explained. Her voice was somewhere in between cute and sexy. "I used to live in Radiant Garden, but we moved here this summer."

"Radiant Garden, huh?" Tidus raised an eyebrow. "You must be pretty rich to've lived in somewhere that big."

"Hmm, I dunno," she shrugged. "Radiant Garden is cool and all, but it's pretty low on scenery. This place is just…wow!"

"I know right?" Lenne giggled. Shuyin now had her arm around her, and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. Tidus, Yuna and Rikku rolled their eyes, but Kairi smiled politely.

"We'd better get heading to Math, if we don't wanna be late," I spoke up, handing Kairi her schedule. "I got Math aswell."

"Oh. Okay. Th-thanks…" She beamed, and I felt my stomach doing dances. She looked absolutely adorable when she smiled, and that wasn't just because her teeth were blinding white, or because her lips were such a luscious deep pink, or because the way her eyes shined put the stars to shame…

I knew I was going mad when I started getting poetic, and made myself snap out of it.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I'm kind of glad Kairi didn't sit next to me in class; I got a better view of her from the back of the class anyway, where I was sitting.

Sora himself waddled into the Math classroom, looking pretty shocked that I was there. I greeted him with my middle finger, which my friends seemed to appreciate.

We have Squall for our Math teacher this year. Tidus says he's pretty cool; he had him last year. At least he's not ancient, like my previous Math teach, Xigbar. (Some people say he's not ancient at all, but I can see that he has to be at least past the age of forty.) Don't get me wrong, Xigbar was cool and all, but he touched me a bit too often and I kinda got the impression that he was a pedophile. I didn't tell my Dad, of course, because…well. You know how he gets.

Math was a total breeze, seeing as I knew everything. We had Phys/Chem next, with Squall's fiancée (or girlfriend; no one really knows). She's okay, I mean, she's not boring and she's got boobs and everything. She's also got a dog, which scares the crap out of Sora, so it wasn't too boring.

I nearly crapped on myself when I walked into the English Literature classroom and saw Genesis standing there with a pile of LOVELESS books. I felt like throwing up. LOVELESS has to be _the_ most boring play in existence. Huge plot failure, horrible main characters, stupid archaic language…it's even worse than Shakespeare, and that's saying something.

Genesis seemed pretty happy to see me, probably because I was one of his favorite students last year. That's only because I was the only one that actually brought in my essays on time, (which I got off the internet mind you), unlike the rest of the class. I, on the other hand, felt like complete and utter shit.

It wasn't a surprise then that I started kicking Sora, who was conveniently sitting in front of me, to keep my busy. He got a bit frustrated, but I was surprised when he suddenly turned around and yelled at me.

"Can you please STOP IT?" He yelled, looking pissed off.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Huh? Did I just hear you correctly?"

His frown gradually faded, and he lowered his head. "Um…n-no…"

"I thought so."

He turned around and dug his nose into LOVELESS, probably not understanding a thing, while I looked at my iPhone3G (Yes, I know gloating sucks). It refused to stop vibrating, and when I unlocked it I noticed that I had nearly fifteen new messages.

I scrolled through them. Most of them were from cheerleaders who wanted to go out with me, or drive them home, or something, but there was one from Tidus that particularly interested me.

_U seen thu new chik yet?_

_**Well DUH.**_

_So?_

_**So wut?**_

_Got her to go out w/ u yet?_

I stared at the text message in disbelief. _**Look T it's her 1**__**st**__** day in DC. Course I hvnt. **_

_Aint an xcuse._

_**U wait T. She'd hv falln 4 me by thu Friday, positive.**_

The bell rang, and I slipped my phone back in my pocket. I was going to get Kairi go out with me in one week, no problemo.

It'd be _easy_.

Well, at least I thought it would.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We met up with the rest of the gang and headed for the cafeteria. We own the table in the cafeteria; no one ever sits there because they know it belongs to us.

Us being me, of course, Tidus, Shuuyin, Wakka, Lenne, Yuna, Rikku, Fang, Vanille, Yuffie, Ashe and now Kairi. The rest of the Blitzball team sit with the rest of the Cheerleaders on a nearby table, and they're practically all going out with each other, so they keep themselves occupied. We, however, are the school 'elite' group. Everyone wants to graduate to sitting at our table, to belong with the 'cool kids'.

Yuna and Lenne are the school 'Songstresses', as everyone calls them. They're actually the presidents of the glee club _The Songstresses_, but people generally seem to forget that anything exists apart from Yuna and Lenne. Unlike in the FOX television series, the glee club in Destiny College is totally cool and legit, so you don't immediately turn into a school reject by being in it.

Fang, as you know, is the cheer captain, and Rikku, Yuffie, Vanille and Ashe are the head cheerleaders. Yuffie used to be sort of a reject, but Fang saw how talented she was one day when she totally kicked the ass out of some guy that was trying to grope her. She takes karate, but is totally flexible and energetic, two things necessary for being a cheerleader. Rikku is a childhood friend of Yuna, so she automatically became in the In Crowd. Vanille and Ashe are two of the best cheerleaders in the Cheer team, and went out with some guys on the Blitzball team a while back. Fang treats Vanille like her little sister, and makes sure she's always around, and Ashe just sort of follows us around.

Tidus used to be friends with Sora, but he was so incredibly good at Blitzball (and, I hate to admit, almost as good as me, even) that I had to have him on the Destiny Dolphins as soon as he started freshmen year. He didn't really mind leaving his old friends behind, and plus, he admits didn't really like Sora anyway.

Wakka has been my friend since, well, ever, and that kind of helped his rise to popularity. Shuuyin kinda profited from being Lenne's boyfriend, and being Tidus' cousin. Shuuyin is wicked at surfing; he's won practically every surfing trophy in existence.

Finally comes Kairi, the cute new girl who is just here because…well. She's competing with Yuna as being the prettiest girl in school, which is saying something.

"So, tell us more 'bout yourself, Kai!" Yuffie was chewing on her chips as she spoke.

"Uh…" She tucked some of her claret hair behind her ear. "I'm sixteen and a half, I've lived in Radiant Garden practically all my life, but never anywhere this amazing…"

"You get used to it," Shuuyin added, indifferent, which earned him a shove in the arm from Lenne.

"I don't think I ever will," she replied with a beam.

"Have you been to the North Beach?" Rikku asked, sucking on a slushie.

"Not yet; I've been kind of busy this summer, you know, unpacking." She nibbled on a chip, which was somehow alluring.

"You have _got _to go there with us this weekend!" Vanille clapped her hands. "The beach there is marvelous!"

"Plus, it's Shuyin's birthday!" Lenne announced, giving said male a kiss on the cheek for extra measure.

"Who said I was celebrating it on the beach?"

"I did."

"Since when do you take _my_ decisions?"

"Since you asked me to go out with you, silly."

"That wasn't in the contract."

They continued teasing each other like this, occasionally stopping to kiss each other on the mouth, while we ate. I tried as hard as I could not to look at Kairi for too long, but, well, I failed. She had such an adorable laugh, such a cute smile, and I kept having the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear when it fell out of place. I couldn't though, because she was sitting opposite me and that would be kind of awkward and weird if I did.

"Riku?"

I looked around for who had called me—Tidus. "Huh?"

"Well you've been awfully quiet today." Tidus smirked. "What's up?"

"Nothin'," I replied, hiding my face behind my mint slushie. As I lowered my cup, I noticed Tidus was holding a strawberry-and-cream sponge cake in my face. "What?"

"Wanna wish Porcupie a happy new school year?"

I tried to laugh it off, but Tidus was serious, and now we had gotten the attention of everyone at our table. I really wanted to refuse, I mean, I really didn't feel like randomly splattering cake on Sora's face for no reason right then, but…they were all looking at me in expectancy, and I couldn't just say no.

So, with what I thought was a confident smirk, I grabbed the dish of strawberry-and-cream sponge from Tidus and walked over to Sora's table. He was conveniently standing up when I got there, and, as soon as he turned around, I rammed it into his face.

The whole cafeteria erupted with laughter, and Sora looked so ridiculous with cake all over his face that I started to laugh as well. "That never gets old!"

I was still laughing when suddenly Sora slammed his tray down on the table, and the cafeteria grew silent. I glanced at Tidus and the rest, but all they did was shrugged, so I turned back to Sora. He wiped as much cake as he could away from his eyes before looking me straight in the eye. They were shrouded by cream, but the cobalt-blue color was still visible.

I had no idea what to expect.

And then he smiled.

I must admit, I was caught off guard. I mean, I had no idea why the hell this dude, whose face I had just rammed strawberry-and-cream sponge cake into, was smiling at me like I had just given him a promotion, or something. It was really weird, and I'm not sure what I felt at that moment other than surprise.

Then he said: "Thanks for the cake, Riku, but I just ate."

I stared at him, unsure what to say. I had this whole list of possible comeback lines running through my head just before, but, no matter how I tried, I just couldn't get them to work with what he just said.

Then he wiped off whatever cake remained on his face, grabbed his tray and stormed out of the hall, leaving me standing there, lost for words.

I eventually settled on rolling my eyes and returning to my table. Tidus was in hysterics, and Shuyin and Wakka were stifling laughs. The girls were in their own conversation at the other end of the table, or at least they were pretending to be.

"He totally pwned you, man!" Tidus exclaimed between laughs.

"That was low, 'Ku, real low," Wakka shook his head.

"You can't be serious?" I gave Tidus a death-glare. "That was all T's idea!"

"You coulda refused," was all Tidus said, and I glowered at him. Pissed off, I looked over at the girls, and caught Kairi staring at me with wide eyes.

I swear we had one of those one-on-one moments, where it was so silent that everything was moving in slo-mo, that the voices of Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka were incoherent, as if they were yelling through thick glass, that the only thing I could hear was the sound of my heartbeat…

Her eyes were such a deep blue, no, such a rich purple, no, not purple, but blue, but purple, but _blue_…

Whatever. They were a nice color, let's leave it at that.

Then Wakka threw a potato chip at my nose, destroying our moment. After retaliating by throwing my muffin at his hair, I glanced over at Kairi, but realized that she had averted her gaze, and sighed.

Well. It was nice while it lasted.

**Finally, an update! Next up is the next chappie of ANGEL, followed by more SORA'S POV!**

**R&R! **


	4. Cold

**A/N: Um. MUCHAAAASSS GRACIASSSS! **

**Chapter Four: Cold**

After a boring hour of History with Barrett Wallace (Wakka's uncle), we had Sports.

I've excelled in Sports since the day I was born (okay, not really, seeing all the calamity that was going on around that time, of course), so I wasn't exactly miffed.

Until we met the teacher, that is. He's called Terra, and I've heard he's ruthless. I didn't think Wakka was serious until we began the class, when he announced that we are going to be doing a series of five warm-up phases. At first I was like 'Okay', because I thought he meant we were going to be doing it all in two hours, which would have been a breeze.

But then he made us run a hundred laps around the football field, then do fifty push-ups, then another hundred laps running backwards, then thirty pull-ups and finally ten rounds of monkey bars to finish and claimed that all that was only the first Phase, and that we were to finish the second Phase on Wednesday.

I was washed out by the end of the day, but at least I wasn't as bad as Sora. I mean, Sora had to do Sports in his uniform, and, plus, he's got asthma. He was practically dragging himself along the floor by the time Terra said we should go get cleaned up, and was wheezing madly, which looked pretty ridiculous.

Anyway, while we were in the locker rooms, I decided to confront Sora about how he showed me up in the cafeteria. He was stuffing his inhaler in his bookbag when I got reached him, and he froze when he turned around and saw me.

"You gotta lotta spunk, Porcupie," I spat. (I don't particularly like that nickname—I prefer 'Weed'—but after using it so much it kinda gets stuck.) He flinched, and I laughed at the ridiculous expression on his face. "Think you're so smart—talking back to me like that, huh?" He hesitated before looking away, which unnerved me. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, idiot."

He looked up at me, glanced at someone behind me, and then met my gaze again with a gulp. I was about to come up with another insult when he suddenly unleashed his secret weapon.

He smiled at me. AGAIN.

I usually wouldn't have cared, but there's something REALLY, REALLY unnerving about his stupid cheesy smile. I don't know what it is, but when he smiles I can't even bring myself to hit him. I really, really felt like ripping that smile off his stupid face, but he had already picked up his bookbag and headed for the door.

He even had the audacity to say: "See you tomorrow."

I snapped.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I knew that when I met Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz waiting in the driveway that it wasn't a good sign. Muttering curses, I slipped out the key and switched off the engine. I had barely set foot on the ground when I felt a thick hand whack me on the back.

"Howwuz school, brat?" Yazoo cackled, grinning manically. I grunted in response, locking my car noncommittally.

"About time you got back," Kadaj bristled, clipping the side of his nose with his thumb. "We need you to pick up some stuff for us."

I sighed, giving them a glare, but I was smart enough not to argue. Loz stared at me with a cold expression, while Yazoo continued glaring at my car. I still didn't get why he was so jealous; Dad had gotten all three of them motorbikes on their 20th birthday (even though he hadn't finished paying for them yet and insisted that they earn enough money to pay the remaining sum, which they didn't seem to like one bit.)

"31st Westlake Crescent," Kadaj announced, lighting a cigarette. "Make it quick; Dad's gonna be home in two hours."

I cursed under my breath and headed into the house, pulling open the front door and being welcomed by the familiar musky scent. I accidentally crushed a cigarette with my sneakers and tossed it in the bin.

Running a hand through my hair, I disposed of my backpack in the hallway and headed upstairs to my bedroom. I slowly walked to my wardrobe and pulled out a Glock from behind a pile of jeans. I felt chills running up my spine as I felt the cold surface, shivering. Shaking away all feelings of doubt, I pulled on a hoodie and slipped the handgun into my pocket before heading outside, where my three older brothers were still waiting.

"Better get your pretty ass on the road, little brother," Kadaj hissed spitefully, his makeshift cigarette hanging lazily between his perfect rows of teeth. "Wouldn't want Dad to find out about the stash of illegal drugs you've got stashed in your bedroom, would we?"

It took all my willpower not to pounce and lash out at him as the three of them started chuckling darkly. I gave them an evasive glare before spinning on my heels and heading down the road.

It'd been nearly half a year since I started going on 'errands' for my big brothers, but I still hadn't gotten used to it. I felt uncomfortable whenever I touched a gun, but Yazoo insisted I take it with me for self-defense. At first, I had tried to ask questions, but Loz simply replied 'The more you know, the more you'll get hurt'. I demanded to know why they thought I'd ever agree to work for them, and Kadaj just grinned mysteriously.

I, for one, know that mysterious grins do not belong on Kadaj's face.

Anyway, the 'errands' they sent me on were usually of the same thing: pick up a parcel there, drop off a parcel here; 'retrieve' some money here, drop off some money there. So far, I had only needed to use my gun once, as a threat, because some idiot refused to hand over the stupid sack of whatever-it-was, and I wasn't in the mood for fighting.

The sky was gray and dull, a typical autumn afternoon. The wind nipped at my hoodie and I pulled on my hood to stop the wind attacking my hair. Every once in a while I would stop and make sure I wasn't being followed, and then I would set off again, trudging along the paths and keeping my head low. I reached 31st Westlake Crescent in an hour, and knocked on the door. Half a minute later, the door opened and a tall guy with dark violet eyes opened the door. His hair was in ebony dreadlocks and a few framed his well-defined face.

"Endless Corp." I announced robotically, making sure not to speak too loud. "1-3-4-0-2."

He scrutinized me briskly, then looked over my shoulder. "Came alone?"

I nodded, and he frowned before reaching into his trench coat and pulling out a package and placing it in my ready hands. His expression remained cold as I tucked it into my hoodie, and he slammed the door shut.

The wind started to pick up as I headed back home, patting my chest every once in a while to make sure the parcel was still there. My brothers would have killed me if I came back empty-handed. I had long since guessed what I helped them traffic. It was amazing how many illegal actions took place in such a small community.

By the time I got home it was dark. The Triplets of Terror were waiting by my car, and they didn't look happy.

"What took you so long?" Kadaj hissed. "Dad's already inside!"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You sent me to the other side of town, what did you expect? It's not like I have wings."

Kadaj didn't seem to like that, but tried not to show it and sniffed. "Did what we asked?"

"Naturally." I handed them back the parcel automatically, and Yazoo grabbed it before tucking it in his coat.

Dad was sitting down on the couch in the living room, tapping his biro against his teeth as he did school paperwork. The television was on, on the business channel. I was about to head upstairs, but he'd already noticed my entrance.

"Where've you been at this hour?" Dad asked, not looking up from his paperwork. His eyebrows were set in a frown.

"Walk," I replied tersely, glancing at the TV. (Apparently, the president of Egypt finally decided to step down from power, and I held back a sigh of relief. I was starting to get tired of waking up to hearing some journalist ramble on about Egyptian demonstrators every morning on the radio.)

Dad glanced at me, searching my face before shaking his head and sighing. "Jenova used to love walks. She insisted I take walks every day. 'Good for the health', she used to say." He let out a bitter laugh. "You must take after your mother."

I felt the growing tension in the air and simply nodded in response. He gave me a weak smile before turning back to his work. My nails digging into my palms, I turned around and headed upstairs.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was mildly warm the next morning, and I took that as a good sign.

After performing my usual morning routine, I headed outside and drove off to school, stopping by at the Seventh Heaven for breakfast, seeing as I was so early.

The Seventh Heaven is my second home, sort of. Dad, of course, doesn't know I even go there, seeing as it's actually a bar and turns into a 21-and-over club after seven in the evening.

I've stopped by at the Seventh Heaven more than once for breakfast, usually when my brothers forget to feed me, or when Dad's having a hangover. I'm one of those regular customers, so the bar owner cuts me some slack and sometimes gives me discounts.

Tifa, the bartender, is like the big sister I never had, sort of. She gives me breakfast, girl advice and even slips me some drinks once in a while. She's nearly forty, or at least that's what she said, but she doesn't at all look it. She's got boobs, a LOT of them, an ageless porcelain face, and a killer smile, but she's wicked at karate. She completely paralyzed a guy once because he asked what cup-size she was. She's what could be characterized as 'milf'.

I decided not to pry too much into her personal life, but all I know is that she's married to some guy called Cloud and has a twenty-three-year-old son. I tell her everything, though. She's really easy to talk to, and she always seems to know what to say when I'm down.

"Hey, Tiff!" I greeted that morning as I locked my car. She was just opening the bar and flashed me a welcoming smile.

"How's it goin', 'Ku?" She turned the sign around so that it now read 'OPEN'.

"Fine, but I'm starved." I made a show of patting my stomach. "Got any leftovers?"

"You bet!" She beckoned me in and I followed her, sitting down on one of the stools and resting my arms on the bar table.

She used her keys to unlock her alcohol cabinet. "Care for beer? Vodka?"

I held back a smile. "It's eight-thirty in the morning. I got school today."

"And?" She smirked at me as she headed into the kitchen, her ebony tresses brushing her neck.

I was about to make a comeback when I received a text message, and I hurriedly read it:

_Ready 4 day 2? _

I chuckled, rolling my eyes as I texted:

_**You bet I am.**_

"Day two of what?" I hadn't noticed Tifa appear behind me, looking over my shoulder.

My cheeks suddenly felt very warm. "N-nothing."

"My, what an attractive shade of red your cheeks have gotten." She looked me straight in the eyes. "Spill."

"It's nothing…" I tried, reaching for my pancakes, but she yanked them out of the way.

"SPILL."

I rolled my eyes, pulling my hand down my face. "_Tiff_…"

She poured sugar over a pancake and then sprayed it with lemon juice, just the way I liked them. Then, to my horror, she took one and brought it to her lips and took a bite. "Mmm…this is _so_ good…"

My stomach started rumbling in protest. "Tiff…"

"Mmm…I can feel the sugary goodness and the lemony tang teasing my tongue…"

"TIFA."

She licked her lips enticingly as she took another bite, letting out a moan that I personally thought was unnecessary.

"FINE, FINE!" I growled. "I bet my friend that I'd make this girl go out with me by the end of the week."

Tifa nodded slowly, handing me my batch of pancakes. "Tell me more about this girl."

I brought a pancake to my mouth, holding back a moan (they were SO good…). "Name's Kairi, new girl, from Radiant Garden." I swallowed my mouthful. "Don't know much else." I paused as I suddenly remembered her smile, her curly red hair, her amethyst-blue eyes. My stomach suddenly felt weird, and it wasn't because of the pancake either.

"I see." Tifa looked at me with an amused expression. "And how's it goin' so far?"

I snapped out of my reverie and bit into my pancake. "Uh. Um. Great. She's really into me, and everything." I paused. "I think."

Tifa laughed, shaking her head. "Teenagers."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"Nothing, nothing…"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I arrived at school still relatively early, and some of my groupies flocked my car. I wasn't really in the mood for them, seeing as it was so early in the morning. I was still tired, and I wondered why I hadn't slept for longer. I was sure I had bags under my eyes, which isn't really attractive.

I saw Kairi in the car park, and for some reason I felt the same sensation in my stomach that I felt earlier while I was eating my pancakes.

"Will you go out with me?" One of the groupies suddenly squawked desperately. I wasn't in the mood to argue so I said I'll think about it, to which she squealed. Rolling my eyes, I headed over to Kairi.

She smiled, looking angelic with her hair in a ponytail and everything. "Hey."

"Hey." I ran my fingers through my hair, and let out a not-so-attractive yawn.

"Rough night?" She asked. I nodded, and then she added: "I know what _those _are like."

"Really?" I looked down at her, raising an eyebrow. I thought of cracking a 'that's what she said' joke, but didn't think it was the right time. "You regularly can't sleep aswell?"

She blinked up at me, looking a little flustered. "Um. No. But I, well, used to. U-Until I…got help."

I nodded dismissively, and then thought of something to talk about. I decided to tell her about how we had Drama in Period Five and told her about Dad, cracking some jokes every once in a while. She had such an adorable laugh.

Well, eventually the Cheer and Blitz team arrived and we got separated.

"And the second day begins," Tidus remarked dramatically, giving me a sidelong glance.

I didn't like the mischievous glint in his eyes. "Say one word and I'll sock you in the babymakers."

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED THAT CHAPPIE!**

**I didn't. **

**R&R!**


	5. Oral Intensity

**A/N: Sorry if the last chappie was filler-ish. This one'll be better—PROMISE.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'DJ Got us Fallin' in Love' by Usher, nor the song 'I'm Just a Kid' by Simple Plan. And the title name is copyright the GLEE series. ^^**

**Chapter Five: Oral Intensity**

Started the day with nothing else but Sexual Education.

I had taken this course the previous year already, so I basically knew everything from condoms to contraceptive sponges to sperm to orgasms.

But, seeing how retarded Yoshida is, he made me repeat the whole year all over again just because of one lousy subject.

"Total waste of time," Tidus huffed, mussing up his spiky hair. "I know all this stuff already."

I nodded absently as we walked into class. I saw Kairi talking with her friends, looking adorable as she tucked some wine-red hair behind her ear. I wasn't looking and accidentally walked into someone, who turned out to be Sora. Giving him a glare, I pushed him aside and walked up to Kairi and the rest.

"Hey, 'Ku," Yuna greeted me with a familiar smile. "We were just talking about what we're going to bring on Saturday."

"I'll bring the booze," Tidus announced, to which Yuna laughed.

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Tidus, you of all people should be careful with alcohol."

Kairi looked sort confused, so I started to explain. "Um, she's talking about how Tidus got drunk on booze at my seventeenth birthday party and started singing 'Whip My Hair'."

Tidus reddened. "Must you tell everyone about that?"

"What, you prefer I tell her about the time you started strip—"

"SHUT UP!" Tidus growled, cheeks darkening even more. Kairi seemed to think he looked really funny, because she had broken into peals of adorable laughter once again.

That's when the SexEd teacher, Reno, walked into class, laptop in arm. He had his trademark toothy grin on, and his cat-like eyes flickered over me before he faced the class. "HOWDY!" He greeted with a mock-Western accent. He tossed his laptop on his desk before turning back to the class, and I noticed some girls giggling flirtatiously at him. (Man, some girls are so desperate they'd even aim for _teachers_. That's just SAD.) "Yo peoples! I'm Reno, and this year I'm gonna be teaching you a whole lot about condoms and baby-makin'!"

Tidus whooped energetically, Yuna grimaced in disgust, Rikku giggled, Lenne raised her eyebrows, and Kairi just shook her head. I rolled my eyes, finding Reno's introduction to be immature and just plain weird.

Reno's eyes met mine, and I immediately feared the worst. He walked up to me and ruffled my hair. "Nice to see ya, bitch." I frowned unappreciatively, fixing back the hairs he'd misplaced. "You taking my class again?"

"Yeh right," I scoffed. As if that would ever happen. "I know everything already. Why take SexEd all over again? I'm only here cause I failed English 101."

"Mm-hmm," Reno nodded slowly, as if in thought. Then his eyes sparkled—he had an idea. I gulped. "Why don't you share some of that knowledge of yours and share with the class?"

I heard my 'friends' snickering, and my face suddenly felt warm. People started laughing at Reno's little tease.

"Naw, just kiddin'." Reno span around and headed to his desk, while I sighed in relief. I should have known he'd been joking. "Grab a seat people. Don't got all day; chop chop."

"That was a close one, Riku," Wakka sniggered.

Shuyin did the same. "We actually thought you'd have to demonstrate how to fuck."

I rolled my eyes. "What are you two even doing here?"

Shuyin explained that he and Wakka's timetables were still messed up, so they were hanging out with us 'kiddies' until the problem was fixed. I was partially grateful that they were in senior year and wouldn't be pestering me all year, asking for another tale about my experiences with the opposite sex. (Seriously. Okay, so I know I said that I haven't actually taken anyone's virginity yet or anything…but Wakka and Shuyin don't know that. Probably due to the fact that I kinda told them that I've slept with every girl on the cheer team. Which isn't true, but yeh. Makes me seem more experienced, and stuff. And I don't usually lie that much, but it's kinda hard knowing you're the only virgin in your whole group of friends, so improvisation is needed.)

Reno finished checking his Facebook account before introducing himself. I knew everything about him, seeing as I'd had him the previous year anyway. Apart from his surname and his age, cause he never tells anyone that.

He did, however, tell us that he's old enough to be Kairi's girlfriend, which got me wondering.

He continued to ramble on about stuff I already knew: he lives in a flat in Destiny Islands, with his cousin; he's currently single, but he's sort of a man whore; he works part-time in the military academy, SOLDIER, as a Turk.

Then he said I was his star student last year, and Wakka and Shuyin got the class whooping for me, which was sort of embarrassing. Then he suggested that I should demonstrate how to wear a condom, just as Yoshida entered the classroom on his morning rounds.

I tried to indicate this by clearing my throat, but Reno, the idiot that he was, couldn't get it.

"Come on, bitch!" Reno encouraged enthusiastically, waving the packet in front of my face. I couldn't believe he was doing that to me. "Don't be shy! You did it just fine last year—"

Thankfully, Principal Yoshida cleared his throat before he went any further, and Reno spun around. His eyes widened, which was amusing to watch. "Ansem!" He quickly corrected himself. "I mean, Principal Yoshida! Wh-what…I wasn't expecting—"

"Obviously," Principal Yoshida cut him off. "I can see you are…teaching your class appropriately."

Reno chuckled nervously. "I-It's…it's my method of teaching I—"

"I'm afraid I must question your teaching methods, Mr. Reno."

We all snickered, and I held back a sigh of relief.

"Ehhh…"

"My office, four o'clock."

Principal Yoshida left, and Reno gave him the finger at his back as he stormed down the corridor. I shook my head.

"Sod him. Crazy old bat." Reno turned to us, and his eyes brightened. "Anyway! Where were we?"

I sighed. I was not going to enjoy SexEd this year at all.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

At lunch, Sora was still sitting at the table he had been sitting the previous day, talking and conversing with his friends. The fact that he even _had_ friends in the first place was a little unnerving and unexpected, but I shrugged it off and tried to ignore them. Shuyin told us a story about his holiday in India (obviously where he got his summer tan), so we were pretty occupied.

Then, after lunch, we Math (in which Kairi, surprisingly, whipped my ass at Math), and then we had Drama, and I wasn't all that excited. The fact that my Dad was the Drama teacher was one of many reasons why.

Not that Drama's hard for me, cause, well, it isn't. I mean, I've got a good voice, and I know I sing well, so it was no real problem. I didn't mind acting, because I always got the main lead anyway. Like the previous year, when I was incapable of singing because I had throat ache, but got the main role anyway, because, well, the Junior-Senior Drama teach is my dad and everything.

And, yeh, like I said, I can sing relatively well, but I'm sure if the rest of the school realized that Sephiroth was my dad—(and it was pretty unusual that no one had realized we looked sorta alike, cause we were the only silver-haired albinos in the school)—they'd say it was partiality and downright favoritism, starting a protest and demanding 'acting rights'.

But, no, they haven't found out yet, and I'm not sure they will anytime soon.

No one thinks they'll get the main role, because, obviously, it's gonna be me that gets it, whoever it is. Which was why, when I volunteered to audition first, on one protested.

Tidus and Zidane (a guy in the glee club who's a drum guru) took the stage behind me. Tidus is pretty good with mixers, and Zidane with the drums, so together they managed to make the desired beat for my song.

Okay, so 'DJ Got us Fallin' in Love' wasn't exactly the best song to choose, (especially when I had to skip the Pitbull part) but it was one of the only songs I knew all the lyrics to, partially because of that one time I fell asleep to that song, forgetting it was on _Replay_.

Another reason I did this song was because I needed a song that would make the girls go wild, and I would have done Enrique Iglesias' 'I Like It' if I had known how to reach the freakishly high notes, which I hadn't.

Anyway, I got the desired effect, especially when I progressed onto the sexy dancing part of my routine. I suddenly remembered Tidus' bet and kept fixing my gaze on Kairi and winking at her, putting on my 'Sex Face', which is said to have a ninety-eight percent guarantee of making a girl fall for me.

(Or, at least, that's what Fang said once.)

The crowd started whooping so loud that they practically drowned out my voice, and I was holding a microphone. I concluded the song expertly, doing that whole microphone pose thing, and looking Kairi in the eye. She was giggling and covering her lips, which she seemed to do when she was nervous. I grinned brilliantly in spite of myself.

I was still grinning when someone suddenly shoved me aside and ripped the microphone from my hands. I stumbled to the side and stared incredulously at the culprit.

I don't know who I expected, but I didn't expect it to be _Sora_.

Who, last time I checked, was too shy to even answer in class.

Here he was, grabbing the microphone from me and acting like he wasn't the school reject. Here he was, looking at the audience with a determined expression on his face, not at all looking frightened.

Here he was, bringing the microphone to his lips and starting to sing.

I slowly backed off the stage as the clapping gradually died down, letting Sora's voice amplify even more. I stared at him in astonishment, in disbelief. No one—and I mean no one—had ever had the guts to challenge me like he had just done.

Tidus and Zidane shrugged and started creating a beat, Tidus with an electric guitar he found leaning against the wall, and Zidane with his drums.

Sora was singing some sort of boy band song about being a general loser, (which I thought suited him). I hated to admit it, but he sang better than I thought he did. He sang…good. His voice was pretty strong, like a mix of Enrique Iglesias and one of those boy band singers.

Judging by how tightly he gripped his microphone and how he was frowning in exertion, he was one of those hardcore singers.

My eyes flickered over to Kairi and the girls, and I saw Kairi staring up at him with wide eyes. Yuna, Lenne and Rikku were doing the same, along with many in the audience.

Okay, so no one was exactly cheering, but they looked pretty impressed.

I felt…jealous.

And you know you've hit an all time low when you feel jealous of the school reject.

"_What the fuck is wrong with me? _

_Don't fit in with anybody_

_How did this happen to me?_"

I had so many lines running through my head in response to that, like 'Well, because you suck' for example, but I didn't think that'd be smart, doing that in front of my Dad. So I kept quiet, and waited for him to finish his stupid song.

"_I'm all alone ..._

_Tonight_

_Nobody cares..._

_Tonight_

_Cause I'm just a kid, tonight…_"

Tidus concluded his song with three strums of the electric guitar, and I gave him a silent glare. Tidus just shrugged apologetically, and I sighed, looking back at Sora.

The audience was silent, staring at Sora in shock-slash-amazement. Sora was breathing hard in exhaustion, his eyes still closed as his hands dropped from the microphone. He slowly looked up, and then his bug-eyes widened even more in horror. He staggered backwards, gulping and blinking at the crowd, before he suddenly bolted off the stage and pushed his way through the doors.

I started chuckling as I remembered how he has extreme stage fright and everything. Shaking my head, I turned towards Tidus, who had just descended from the stage.

"Okay, so that was stupid," Tidus muttered. He still had the electric guitar strapped across his shoulder. "But that dude can sing, man."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeh, and what difference does that make?"

Tidus smirked. "You know, he might just end up nailing the main lead, dude."

Tidus and I shared at glance before we burst out laughing. "Like that'll ever happen."

Dad shushed the class with an ominous glare. "NEXT."

Someone rose their hand, and I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about watching the next person sing until I realized it was Kairi who was mounting the stage.

"Very well then. Name?" Dad asked, not looking interested.

"Kairi." She paused, and then added: "Bellamy-Price."

He nodded for her to continue, scribbling down something in his notepad. She headed to the microphone, thought better of it, and then headed to the piano.

"She can freaking play the piano," I whispered, more to myself than anyone else. "Figures."

She started playing a tune on the piano, and I watched in anticipation. Then she licked her lips, closed her eyes, and began to sing.

* * *

**Okay, so, yeh, I'm guessing you guys are getting sick of me ending chappies like that by now.**

**But don't worry; I'll update soon. ^^ **

**Only thing is, I'm going back to school on Monday, which sucks. BAD.**

**Oh well. I'll try and squeeze in a chappie before then, just for you guys.**

**Thanks for your reviews. Love ya, and stay cool. **


	6. Messed Up

**A/N: Here I am! This is me! I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be!**

**Ugh. You know you're becoming insane when you make a **_**CAMP ROCK**_** pun. **

**Anyway, I'm back to school, and with the exams coming up…let's just hope I can still update as regularly as now. **

**Review replies!**

**AnimexLuver4Ever: Well I did it extra fast for you guys! **

**Miss Different: If I could publish a fanfiction, I would.**

**Draco Oblivion: Thanks for your reviews! And, yeh, Riku's home life is sad and pitiful. Can't blame him for being a dick, I guess. **

**Roxymccartney: Sugar and lemon pancakes are indeed awesome. ^^**

**MyRealNameIsHiding: I agree. *cue sinister smile***

**Morgead'sgirl: :D**

**a.k.a Karasu: This fanfic leans more to Riku than Addicted. ^^ And by the way, Season Two Debut Episode of Fanmail is in progress, kya? **

**Superpeanutbutter: Yes. Cloud is Sora's daddy. D'you think Riku knows that…or not? **

**Disclaimer: WHY? WHYYYY?**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I'm Riku, epitome of sexy and epic win. _

I'm _the_ Riku Harada, Mr. Popular, Star Player of the Destiny Dolphins. The guy that's got it all. The guy that can get any girl he wants, whenever he wants. The Drama King, the guy with the sexy voice and to-die-for acting skills, the guy who's got the main lead in every single play since, well, last year. The hottest guy in school, the guy with the washboard abs, the sexy packs, the heavenly muscles.

_Sort of._

I lived. Mum died.

Sometimes I wish it was the other way round.

_I failed English last year, so I've had to repeat the whole year all over then, which sucks. Sort of._

Xemnas said that it is 'vital' that I get at least one A in English in order to pass the finals next year. He obviously doesn't realize that you don't actually need English 101 when you're an actor.

_You see, there's this weird kid…_

Sora Kyumuke. The dork of all dorks. Heck, he doesn't even fall into that category. I mean, ever since he decided to throw all his lunch on my hair in freshmen year, people seem to be scared of standing in a two meter radius from Sora. It's pretty funny, really.

_And there's also this new girl, who I swear is an angel…_

She was so breathtakingly gorgeous that I forgot to breathe. She had it all; the curves, the lips, the eyes. And the thing that was the most amazing about her was that she managed to look sexy in uniform without looking like she was trying too hard.

_And me and T kinda had a bet._

_Got her to go out w/ u yet?_

_**Look T it's her 1**__**st**__** day in DC. Course I hvnt. **_

_Aint an xcuse._

_**U wait T. She'd hv falln 4 me by thu Friday, positive.**_

_Which means I'll have to do everything possible to woo her by Friday. Which should be possible, seeing as it's me we're talking about here._

I got the desired effect, especially when I progressed onto the sexy dancing part of my routine. I suddenly remembered Tidus' bet and kept fixing my gaze on Kairi and winking at her, putting on my 'Sex Face', which is said to have a ninety-eight percent guarantee of making a girl fall for me.

_Blocking out the darker side of my life, I'm 100% positive I'll have her in my arms by Friday, latest. _

_Absolutely positive._

_You just wait._

* * *

**Chapter Six: Messed Up**

What was going through my mind was something like: FU-FU-FU-FU-HOT DAMMMMMMN.

Or something along the lines of that, at least.

As soon as she started singing and her totally fabulous and flawless voice filled my ears, all I could do was stare at her and gape. _Of course someone like her can play the piano. What d'you expect?_

I didn't even recognize the song, but I was absolutely positive that she was singing it better than whoever originally sang it. I mean, she even sang better than _Yuna_. And I'm not saying this because she looked prettier, or anything. She honestly sang like an angel, if angels can sing, that is.

People decided to start a clapping spree as she reached the second verse, which slightly pissed me off. I tried not to show it, though, because Tidus and the rest had joined in as well. Yuffie had even started cheerleading enthusiastically, pom-poms and all.

Then Kairi's gaze locked with mine, and all the other senseless noise suddenly disappeared. Like the time in the cafeteria, all I could hear was the sound of my heartbeat, and everything else seemed to be going in slow-mo.

And then everything suddenly fell back into place, and the shrieking cheers of hormone-driven teenagers snapped me back into my senses. I blinked rapidly and realized Kairi had finished singing, and was climbing down from the stage, heading to meet the girls.

I was still staring over at her when Tidus badgered: "Damn, chick's got quite the voice."

I muttered something unintelligible and gave him a shove.

Time passed. Yuna and Lenne did a great cover of 'Obsessed' by Mariah Carey (I swear Tidus was totally turned on by their performance; his eyes were practically hanging out of his sockets); Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka did a threesome for 'Kiss Kiss' by Chris Brown (which was pretty okay. Well, Tidus was, at least.), and Fang tried (and failed) to turn me on with her cover of Rihanna's 'S&M'. Centuries of auditions later, Dad had nearly gone through everyone and it was soon time for the bell to ring.

But Dad wasn't finished yet. His cold gaze scanned the hall; he didn't want to leave out anyone. His eyes landed on some unfortunate blonde girl with really large blue eyes.

"You. On stage."

She kept shaking nervously and looked like one of those anorexic girls I see sometimes on TV documentaries, especially in the very large grey hoodie she was wearing. She was also scribbling in a journal before Dad called her, and she stuffed it in her large pocket as soon as she noticed who he was talking to.

"Hurry up if you don't want to miss recreation."

I protested at that, because I had better things to do, and everyone else joined in instinctively.

"Name?"

"…N…Namine."

"Hm."

She continued staring at him nervously.

"Well?" Dad deadpanned impatiently, frowning the same way he did whenever Larry King cracked a very not-funny joke on Saturday Night Live. "Get on with it."

She hesitated for a few long seconds, and then headed to the piano.

The doors conveniently slammed open as soon as she sat down, and in walked two Security Men holding onto two guys. I recognized them as two of the guys I always saw hanging around behind school smoking and sharing thoughts on the subject of Emo.

"We found these punks hang lingering about in the bike park," Security Man #1 muttered through gritted teeth, holding one of the guys in a headlock. "Thought it might be smart to skip class, huh?"

"This is a free country," the guy being held by Security Man #2 muttered. He was called Hayner, I remembered, and he was the guy who had triggered a fire alarm in sophomore year. Seeing his about-to-go-berserk visage, that was almost believable.

"You're just lucky we're not suspending you," Security Man #2 snarled in response.

"Go ahead! Suspend me! See if I care!"

"THAT IS ENOUGH," Dad rumbled in his 'I AM NOT HAPPY. DO NOT ANGER ME'-voice. Hayner and the other guy kept quiet and the Security Men left. Hayner massaged his arms, glaring. The other guy just dug his hands lower into his pockets and muttered something to Hayner, impassive expression on his face. He was Sora's twin brother, Roxas, at least that's what I'd heard. He looked pretty scary with all the black make-up and piercings, and he was one of those people in school I generally steered clear of. They both stank of smoke and other unmentionable things.

"What's with the make-up? He looks like a freakin' girl," Tidus whispered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Roxas, Hayner. You two will stay after class and rearrange the instruments," Dad announced, looking awfully pissed. "Now. You may begin."

Namine seemed to take an extra five seconds to register what Dad just told her, but she finally began her song. She copied Kairi and began with a piano introduction, and I stifled a yawn.

She sang pretty well, actually. I never noticed her in the school before, but heard that she came from South Destiny College, the high school on the Southern island. Nobody clapped along with the song, seeing as she kinda freaked everyone out when she started crying as she began the bridge of the song.

I eventually got bored and absently joined the game of rock, paper, scissors with Wakka and Tidus. The song eventually came to an end, and everyone clapped, albeit half-heartedly. Namine blinked, flustered, and waited for my Dad's signal before rushing off the stage.

Next was Hayner, who practically killed everyone's ears with his disastrous rendition of 'Gives You Hell' by The All American Rejects. Dad moaned about his ears, trying to be the next Simon Cowell, or something, and Hayner got off the stage.

"Roxas," he muttered, looking tired. Roxas sighed and headed to the stage, picking up an acoustic guitar on his way. He began singing 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias, and he sang it pretty well, actually. I would have enjoyed it more if I didn't nearly get a heart attack every time I saw his face.

He played the guitar excellently, though, better than I ever would. I didn't even know how to hold one, let alone play one. He had just strummed the concluding note when the bell rang, and everyone immediately flooded out of the Drama hall, relieved.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Physics was okay, because Kairi was in it. She said she had dropped Business and Management because it sucked, and he only other options were Physics or Psychology, so she picked Physics.

We talked a bit, and I got her number, but she sat next to her friends. Tidus didn't stop nagging me, which got annoying. Then she asked where Sora was after class, and I think that was when I became majorly pissed off.

I mean, I had had seriously enough of Sora. The world was a better place with him being generally ignored, or being the school punch-bag. Now he was acting all spontaneously and speaking up, which seriously would not have said much for me if he got any more popular. I mean, I was the guy who started the whole bullying thing; everyone just followed in my footsteps because, well, I was Riku. They thought they were obliged to. No one dared speak back to anything I said, but now that Sora had done it, I started fearing that, well, they'd start to.

And then there was the whole thing in Drama, with him singing, like, really good. Maybe—just maybe—as good as me, even. And the way Kairi was staring at him with her wide violet-blue eyes. And then the way she was looking all worried and concerned for him in Physics, like she actually _cared_ for his species of human.

Which was why, after our two hours of Sports (in which I came first in, well, practically everything—again), I marched outside in search of Sora, and found him walking in a random direction. Grabbing him by his arm, I pulled him behind a building in the Arts Wing and pushed him up against the wall. (This was slightly less easier than previously, seeing as Sora had had some kind of growth spurt over the summer, and was nearly my height, and a bit less scrawny.)

He looked really frightened, and he cringed as I pushed him harder against the wall.

"You _idiot_," I grumbled ominously, something I had learnt from my Dad. "Why don't you just crawl back under your little rock and die there?"

He looked utterly confused. "I…I don't know what you're talking—"

"Stay. Away. From MY GIRL." I emphasized my statement by pushing him harder against the wall. He grunted in pain. "GOT IT?"

He nodded, albeit stiffly, and I gave him a cold glare before giving him a final shove and walking away.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was busy doing my Math homework (Calculus, and absolute breeze) when I received a text message from Tidus.

_**Better get on w/ it.**_

I scowled. _I will, geez. Get off my case, aight?_

He didn't. _**But seriously—cant c u in kai's pants in three days, man.**_

_I never sed anything bout getting in her pants, T._

_**U kno wut I mean.**_

_This is me we're talkin bout. I can get any girl 2 fall 4 me. _

_**Don't c it happening.**_

I lost my temper. _Wut bout u and Yuna, huh? Whens tht gonna start?_

He didn't reply for some time, but I imagined him blushing and searching for something to reply. I shook my head when he replied: _**g2g gotta do h/w and stuff.**_

_Since wen did u do h/w?_

He didn't reply, so I figured he'd decided to stop trying to answer and placed my phone back in my pocket. As if on cue, I heard the front door slam open, and sighed when I realized it was probably my brothers.

Or one of them at least. I heard Kadaj talking to someone in the kitchen, and headed downstairs to see who it was.

"…ten hundred munny? You serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"That's just sick, man."

They stopped when I came into view, and frowned. There was a guy of about my age or more, most of his blond hair hidden beneath an indigo beanie. He was slouched lazily on one of the chairs, smoking a cigarette and talking with Kadaj freely. He had an ugly looking scar that ran across the bridge of his nose.

"What're you doing here?" Kadaj asked, glowering.

"I finished school, like, half an hour ago," I told him, glancing at Beanie guy.

"Well…go climb a tree or something," Kadaj muttered. "Or play some video game, or—"

"Look, man, it's fine," Beanie chuckled, getting off the chair and tossing his cigarette in the bin. "I've gotta roll anyway. My girlfriend's gonna be back in about five anyway." He tossed me a scrutinizing look. "You're Riku, huh?"

I nodded, unsure how he knew my name. "Yeh."

"Great. Listen—what you don't know won't hurt you, understand?" He thumbed his nose and grinned slyly before heading out of the house.

* * *

**Okay, so I had no idea how to end that chappie. Oh well. Hope ya liked it, and thanks again for your reviews! Next chappie—back to school! **

**P.S: SEIFER IS A REEEEAAALLLLY IMPORTANT CHARACTER. JUST SO YOU KNOW. WATCH OUT FOR ANY CLUES. **

**XXXX **

**R&R! **


	7. Faking It

**EDIT: Fixed a few things that didn't make sense. Ugh, their timetable is HELL.**

**A/N: Wow. Thirty three reviews? We're getting somewhere! I'm going through this Jesse McCartney Obsession phase and I've got hooked to the series 'Summerland'! Jesse is so freaking cute! **

**Onto the replies…**

**a.k.a Karasu: Wow. I really didn't cover that up as much as I thought I did. Oh well. Sora isn't a pussy or a pervert, he's just a teenager. I mean, Riku is pervier than him (LOL). But you got the tough guy/softie thing spot on. Roxas has issues to be clarified later, Namine is the same, and Kairi is trying to rewrite her life and forget her past, or something like that anyway. LOL. Anyway, Fanmail's in the making, just so you know.**

**Roxy mccartney: Your penname is 'Roxy' and you dig Seifer. Cool. Lol. I like Seify too, and I don't want to make him seem so bad in this fic, so I'll tweak his character a bit later on. **

**Morgead'sgirl: Sorry if Riku's annoying you LMAO he's having teenage problems, cause he really wants to beat Tidus' dare, like the typical high school jock. And he's also just used to having everyone worship him, so if someone steals the spotlight…well. You know. **

**MyRealNameIsHiding: You'll find out. **

**Draco Oblivion: You bet right. And you'll see what's going to happen to Riku…**

**Superpeanutbutter: Lmao! Riku'll find out about Cloud and Sora and stuff…one day. If I can make it happen. :P**

**Disclaimer: When Riku will dye his hair pink, I shall own Kingdom Hearts. In other words, NO EFFING WAY. **

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Guhhhh…_

As soon as she started singing and her totally fabulous and flawless voice filled my ears, all I could do was stare at her and gape.

_Kairi's starting to show interest in Sora. Which pisses me off._

The way she was looking all worried and concerned for him in Physics, like she actually _cared_ for his species of human.

_I threaten Sora._

"Stay. Away. From MY GIRL. GOT IT?"

He nodded, albeit stiffly, and I gave him a cold glare before giving him a final shove and walking away.

_And meet one of Kadaj's friends. _

There was a guy of about my age or more, most of his blond hair hidden beneath an indigo beanie. He was slouched lazily on one of the chairs, smoking a cigarette and talking with Kadaj freely.

_And get some helpful advice._

"Listen—what you don't know won't hurt you, understand?"

_Which I intend to listen to, mind you. _

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Faking It**

Dad came back relatively early that evening, and spent the rest of it scribbling vigorously on paper and printing out scripts. I was pretty sure I got the main role, so I didn't bother asking.

Which was why I totally did not expect what I saw on Wednesday morning.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

As soon as I stepped down from my car, Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka came running up to me, looking exhausted.

"Riku!" Tidus panted, leaning on my car to hold himself up. "You gotta see this!"

"What?" I asked nonchalantly. I figured Tidus wanted to show me one of his lame Blitzball moves, which looked even lamer outside the arena. Then Wakka and Shuyin shared nervous glances, and that's when I got suspicious. "What? What happened?"

"You'd…you'd better come see," Shuyin eventually mumbled.

I searched their faces for any explanation, but they didn't say anything. Huffing at their immaturity, I rolled my eyes and headed into school. My friends followed after me tensely, and I got unnerved by the way they kept whispering to each other and keeping me out of it.

At first I thought Kairi had been killed, or something, but no one seemed to be crying or bawling their eyes out, and I even passed Vanille, who was squealing in perpetual glee. Everyone was staring at me as I passed, which should have been a clue, but I figured they did that everyday anyway, and ignored it.

I reached the East Wing and Tidus, Wakka and Shuyin stopped, mumbling something about going to their locker. I said I'd meet them their and headed towards the group of bustling students congregating around the Bulletin board.

I nearly ignored the sign, until I noticed my name _wasn't on the top of the list._

Yup. You heard me. _My name wasn't on the top of the list._

I immediately freaked out, storming through the crowd (which wasn't hard, since most of them moved out of the way automatically) and blinking repeatedly at the sheet of paper, not believing my eyes.

_**MAIN**_

_HIROSHIMA: Sora Kyumuke _

_MASAHIRO: Riku Harada_

_YUUKI: Kairi Bellamy-Price_

_NAGASAKI: Roxas Kyumuke_

_HINATA: Namine Price_

_KOSUKE: Vaan Takeda_

_KURUNAI: Penelo Mikuni _

…

Sora.

_Sora._

_**SORA.**_

I was practically fuming. Sora—or Porcupie, Hedgehog, Weed, Freak, whatever you may call him—was at the top of the list.

AND NOT ME.

I span around when I heard people starting to murmur, (and a few fangirls even had the _audacity _to try and comfort me, by saying things like "Even though Sora got the main part, he's still not as cute as you, Riku!") and stormed off down the hallway, shoving a startled Sora, snowboard feet and all, out of the way.

Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka were at my locker, looking somewhat afraid. Which wasn't unbelievable, if you know what I mean. "WHAT THE FUCK?" I growled irately. "HOW THE HELL DID THAT JACKASS GET—" Miss Rinoa passed by us at that moment, so I had to watch my language. "Why didn't you guys _tell me_?"

Shuyin stuck a lollipop in his mouth, probably to give himself an excuse not to answer, and Tidus shrugged. "We only found out this morning."

"Well if you told me _before _I went there and made an absolute fool of myself—"

"Calm down, mon," Wakka interjected, waving his arms. "It ain't like you didn't get any main…"

"Got a point," Shuyin muttered through his lolly. The bell rang before either of us could cut in edgewise, and we headed to Homeroom.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I guess the bad thing about having your Drama teacher for your Homeroom teacher is that he can choose whether or not he's gonna change your ten minutes of nothing in the morning into a class whenever he wants to.

Homeroom was basically replaced with ten minutes of Drama for all seniors and juniors, in which he explained the basic plot of the school play, KINGDOM HEARTS.

I was kind of in a bad mood and couldn't be bothered to listen as my Dad explained the basic plot of the school play. I kind of lost interest after he mentioned 'Squeenix-Disney crossover', and spent most of the lesson fiddling around on my iPhone. Dad gave me a rueful smile when he handed out my script and said we should memorize it for Monday, and I was like _'Fat chance'_.

I gave him a glare of my own, but he either ignored me or just didn't notice me.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was still in a mood after Drama, slamming my locker closed and all, when I saw something that pissed me off even more.

That sad excuse for a human, Sora, had ignored my blatant warning and was now conversing amicably with Kairi, as if I hadn't threatened to repeatedly stick my sparring sword up his ass the previous day.

"Riku…" Tidus chuckled nervously. "Hey, um…why don't we…uh…head to Art class?"

I swear I was seething. Sora said something and Kairi beamed. "No thanks."

Shuyin raked his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "Come on, man! We're kinda gonna be late if—"

"Fine, you guys go ahead," I snapped back at him, still not averting my glare from Sora and Kairi. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

Shuyin, Tidus and Wakka hesitated for a while before finally taking off. I watched as Sora and Kairi continued discussing whatever they were discussing until the blonde chick, Namine, tugged Kairi on the arm and she had to leave.

I took my chance to stride up to him, fists clenched. Okay, so I was seriously considering punching him in the nose, but, seeing Sora's sudden rise in popularity, I realized that course of action wouldn't look very nice in front of the crowd.

So I took my chance and played the trump card, praying for it to work. If I came across as the generous good guy who doesn't mind competition (at that time I had no idea I'd ever need to compete against someone like _him_), it'd probably help people focus on _me _again, even if I didn't have the main role in Drama and all that, at least until the Blitzball season came up.

He span around, and immediately froze. His face drained of color and he lifted his hands in defense, and I was reminded of better times. Pathetic, really.

"Relax…" (I had to bite my tongue in order not to call him one of his nicknames.) "…Kyumuke." (Ugh. That sounded so weird.) I rolled my eyes. "I'm not gonna hit you."

He cautiously dropped his hands, as if he didn't believe me. I didn't blame him. "You…you're not?"

"Course not," I replied. I forced myself to smile. "I just wanted to…to congratulate you."

Sora continued staring at me with his wide blue eyes in disbelief, as if he wasn't entirely sure about what I'd just said. Like I said, I didn't blame him. A few days ago, I wouldn't have been caught dead doing what I was doing i.e. conversing with the lowest species of high-school human.

He looked sort of troubled for a bit, but eventually replied, with a trademark smile: "Thanks. You really deserved the part, though."

_Damn straight_. "Hn. Thanks." I paused, and then added, trying to seem nonchalant: "So, um…what were you talking to Kairi about?"

"Uhhh…nothing really." He smiled smugly, but I didn't have time to ask him what he meant by that and give him a piece of my mind because the bell rang, and I realized that I had Art class next.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I felt kind of stupid when I found out that Sora shared my Art class.

We were doing some kind of pointless subject called 'Pointillism', but it was pretty easy. Okay, so I'm not the world's greatest artist, but I dabble.

Tidus didn't do Art (he did Home Eco, cause Yuna did) so I was basically by myself. Except from Ashe, Vanille and Hope, there wasn't really anyone I could talk to that was on my social rank. Ashe basically blew her bubblegum like crazy and did that flippy thing with hair to try and catch my attention, Vanille giggled like a maniac, and Hope just stared at Vanille in admiration-slash-awe.

I totally ditched them after class.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I tried to get my own back on Sora in Literature.

He was sitting in front of me, so I amused myself and slammed my foot against his small behind. I heard him grunt in pain as I leaned forward and whispered: "_Don't think I've forgotten about what you've done, Kyumuke_."

He didn't cower like I thought he would, and instead answered: "_Oh, I haven't._"

"_Good_," I replied, ready to drop the subject. "_I'll let you off today but_—"

"_But I don't have any intention of giving up on her."_

I gotta admit, that surprised me. I was quiet for sometime, and then I finally responded: "_Neither do I_."

I felt myself grinning, and he turned around and did the same. "_Well. May the best man win, then._"

"_Prepare to lose, punk_," I snarled.

A bit too loudly.

"Kyumuke, Harada!" Genesis huffed, glaring at us. "I'm expecting a 600-word report on Acts One to Three of LOVELESS for Friday. Any later and I'm informing Principal Yoshida."

Everyone else laughed, but I didn't care.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't wise to make so many bets, especially since I was probably going to end up losing both of them.

I just didn't know that yet.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We had two hours of Sports next (yes, our timetable was momentarily messed up, explaining why we had Sports three consecutive days in a row), and I managed to get my own back on Sora.

I couldn't exactly pummel him to bits in front of Terra and everything, but I did manage to 'accidentally' knock him to the ground quite a lot. I stopped when I nearly gave him an asthma attack, though.

I thought maybe I'd be able to get him again in the showers, but, unsurprisingly, he didn't show up. I guessed he'd gotten tired of the 'small' jokes I played on him.

Amazingly, Tidus was _still_ on my case. _In the shower_.

"So…makin' any progress?" He asked, leaning over the divider with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Can you please _not _look at me like that?" I shivered as the cold water from the shower run down my back. "It's making me kinda uncomfortable."

Tidus rolled his eyes, staying where he was. "What's the matter—embarrassed?"

I ignored his joke and dunked my head under the water to soak my hair. "Yeah. Right."

"Proud much?" Tidus chuckled, rinsing his hair as well.

"Gotta flaunt what you got," I responded with a grin.

"I'm not even going to ask what you meant by that…" Shuyin muttered as he passed us, toweling his hair.

"You didn't answer my question, 'Ku." Shit. I thought Tidus had forgotten about that already.

"Yes, Tidus, as a matter of fact, I _am _making progress," I snapped back, switching off the shower hose. "What makes you think—"

"I'm just askin', man." Tidus did that Justin Bieber hair toss thing, spraying water pellets everywhere. "You know, I saw Sora and Kairi talking earlier…" He didn't finish, probably because of the intensity of the glare I sent him.

"What do you mean, exactly?" I seethed, toweling my hair dry and wrapping another towel around my waist.

"I dunno," Tidus shrugged, nervously looking at his feet. "I just thought that…maybe Sora could become like…like a threat?"

I stared at Tidus incredulously, to see if he was serious, and burst out laughing when I realized he was. "Sora? Sora, of all people—A THREAT? That is THE most hilarious thing I've ever heard!"

Tidus raised his eyebrows and shrugged evasively. "If you say so."

I stopped laughing and looked Tidus in the eyes. "Look, just cause Sora managed to get the stupid lead role doesn't mean he's King of Destiny College or anything."

"Just sayin'." Tidus mumbled as we entered the locker room. "Two more days, man. If you haven't landed the chick in two days…" Tidus paused, thinking. "You have to run down the South Beach butt naked."

"Come on, T, that's just immature," I retorted immediately, slipping on my underwear before rubbing skin cream on my arms. "Think up another dare, cause there's no way I'm doing that."

Tidus still kept his saccharine smile—the one that was really starting to get on my nerves. "All you gotta is make sure you don't lose."

I rolled my eyes and buttoned up my shirt. "Fine, whatever. Why d'you even bother, T?"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I had no idea how hard asking Kairi out would be.

Okay, so maybe I was moving a bit fast. But Tidus' nagging had really started to get on my nerves, and I just wanted to get it over with.

At Lunch, we all met up with each other, like usual. I managed to maneuver events and end up sitting next to Kairi at our table. She blinked up at me nervously, and I gave her a confident grin. She smiled back before quickly turning back to her food.

When we were nearly done eating and putting away our trays, I was so ready to ask her out then and there. How hard was it supposed to be? I thought.

So there I was, leaning against the wall, crossing my arms and waiting for her to empty her tray in the trash can, feeling confident and sexy and everything. While waiting for her to finish, I made the mistake of checking her out.

Her beige legs were covered by what seemed to be lucent black tights, and she looked as perfect as ever in her uniform. My eyes slid up her slender figure—her legs, her butt, her boobs—and then landed on her face, which was slightly contorted as she struggled to empty her tray without touching anything. She was pouting slightly, which just made her lips look a whole lot more alluring. She finally managed to empty everything on her tray before discarding it with the others and wiping her petite hands. When she had finished, she turned around and noticed me looking, blinking up at me inquisitively with her gorgeous purplish eyes.

"Riku?" She asked curiously, raising an eyebrow and tucking some of her ruby red hair behind her ear. "Are…you okay?"

My mind was in shambles. I felt pretty stupid, just standing there, staring at her, but I couldn't exactly bring myself to do anything, really. I swallowed, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. "I'm…yeh…" My palms felt sweaty, and I instinctively dug them into my pockets. I gave Kairi what I hoped was one of my sexy grins, but I didn't think that was possible seeing as I didn't at all feel sexy.

Thankfully, my friends managed to save me from the dilemma. "Yo, 'Ku!" Tidus arrived, patting me on the back. "Sorry to steal Riku here from you, but we've gotta go to class."

Kairi giggled adorably. "No problem. I gotta go to class too so…"

"L-Later, then?" I asked, finally finding my voice. She nodded and smiled again, and as she turned around I was left staring at her back, dumbfounded.

"Did I ruin a moment?" Tidus asked ruefully, patting me on the back again. "Because you sure looked exited."

I froze. "What?" My face felt warmer than usual.

"Your dick was freaking all over the place, dude!" Tidus cackled in his Surfer-Dude accent.

I shoved him off me, hiding my face with my hair. I didn't get it. No girl had ever done that to me before. Okay, I don't mean that I'd never had a boner for a girl before or anything (which is so untrue; I'm the Blitzball captain, and watching chicks prancing in mini-skirts and sports bras are enough to make a guy take cold showers for a week). What I mean was that no other girl had ever made me feel like that, had ever made me blank out, had ever made my palms go sweaty, had ever made my throat feel dry. I had gone out with every single girl on the cheerleading team, and I had never felt anything of the sort for any of them. I was the guy that usually led the relationships and made them swoon. Girls always fell for _me_. I NEVER fell for _them_.

Up until now.

In barely two and a half days, I had developed a 'crush' on Kairi.

That word sounded strange to me, which explained why I still didn't get it.

"Time's precious, 'Ku," Tidus mused, throwing his arms behind his head.

"I still got two more days…" I muttered, though I wasn't that convinced myself. Now that I had proved myself uncapable of keeping my cool in front of Kairi, I had no idea what would happen.

"You keep telling yourself that, 'Ku."

* * *

**Wow. That chapter was HELL. Who knew a chappie could be so HARD?**

**I don't get it. Angel is way easier to write.**

**Probably cause I'm a girl.**

**Gotta hurry up and get to chappie ten so I can continue Addicted. All the ideas are running wild in my mind. **

**And for those of you with dA accounts, check out the artist 'annria2002'. Her Kingdom Hearts fanart is AMAZING with a capital Z. They are a MUST SEE.**

**And I know I should wait until Angel to announce this, but a BIG SHOUTOUT to superpeanutbutter for creating my FIRST EVER FANFICTION-INSPIRED FANART! Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly a scene from this fic or anything…but it still counts as something! Her penname is 'superyummycupcakes' on dA, and the fanart is called 'Bunny Kairi'. The link should be posted on my wall soon enough. Check it out, ya! Hugs and kisses!**

**I should actually be studying for the FOUR HOUR French exam and the TWO HOUR Math exam I have on Monday, so I'd better skedaddle. Toodles!**

**Read and review! **


	8. Crash

**EDIT: After being informed that ppl cant overdose on pot, I made a few adjustments. Big thnx to **TheKidWhoSkates a.k.a Skateboard** and **Rayne Destiny**!**

**A/N: UGHHHH. When will this site stop BUGGING? I had this done AGES ago...**

**Anyway, I'm really getting into this…writing on any paper I can find, whether in bed, at the table, or in the classroom… :P **

**Too bad I couldn't carry any paper to London, cause I actually had a lotta free time. :D **

**I'm not gonna annoy you by telling u what I did there. Simply put, it was KEWL. I got my Roku plushie (finally), and now I'm working on something extra special for RokuNami day…BELIEVE IT!**

**Review replies, ppl!**

**Draco Oblivion: Thanks for the good luck! I've already prayed for divine wisdom and everything…not sure it's working…**

**Superpeanutbutter: YOUR WELCOME! I'm equally as THRILLED! LUFF YOU TOO! I'll recommend your fanart—HEY PEOPLE! THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE JUST SCROLLING ALONG, WANTING TO GET TO THE REAL FIC…GO CHECK OUT HER BUNNY KAIRI FANART BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING—OR ELSE! **

**Roxy mccartney: I'll try and read your fanfic sometime soon! But I've got all these other fics I've been reading since chappie one, and I haven't reviewed their latest chappie yet! This week is just so damn jampacked…**

**Lidi-sama: Thankies! More Riku/bruddaness in this chappie—just for you! :D **

**Morgead'sgirl: Lmao…do I spot a sexual innuendo? Or is my brain simply perverted? Haha. Anyway, just two more chappies of APO to go. Or maybe not; APO and ANG are moving faster than ADD… O_O**

**Rayne Destiny: Thank you for calling this fic epic. Epic rocks! And btw…I was actually planning on making Riku and Kai have some kinda talk…but you'll have to wait until Saturday… :D Thanks for reviewing, new reader. I usually am so engrossed in reading that I forget to review. I know how that feels. And, well, I really hate doing that. Note to self: Stop reading and not reviewing i.e. stop being a hypocrite. :D **

**Disclaimer: Nuh-uh. Btw, I heard this rumor that in an interview, Nomura stated tht Sora might be bi…is tht true? Just curious…**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_SORA, of all people, STOLE my main lead._

I was practically fuming. Sora—or Porcupie, Hedgehog, Weed, Freak, whatever you may call him—was at the top of the list.

AND NOT ME.

_Only got two days to beat Tidus' bet. _

"Two more days, man. If you haven't landed the chick in two days…" Tidus paused, thinking. "You have to run down the South Beach butt naked."

_And Tidus thinks Sora's become _A THREAT_. Pfft. Yeh right. _

"Sora? Sora, of all people—A THREAT? That is THE most hilarious thing I've ever heard!"

Tidus raised his eyebrows and shrugged evasively. "If you say so."

_But I think _Kairi_ is the one that's the actual threat._

My mind was in shambles. I felt pretty stupid, just standing there, staring at her, but I couldn't exactly bring myself to do anything, really. I swallowed, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. My palms felt sweaty, and I instinctively dug them into my pockets.

I had gone out with every single girl on the cheerleading team, and I had never felt anything of the sort for any of them. I was the guy that usually led the relationships and made them swoon. Girls always fell for _me_. I NEVER fell for _them_.

_Up until now. Ugh, it's official: I've got a crush on Kairi._

_You're probably like 'Big deal!', right?_

* * *

**Chapter 8: Crash**

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Dad looked up from where he was sitting; the couch. His cheeks dimpled as he smiled. "Riku, you're back—"

"WHAT IS _THIS_?" I slammed the KINGDOM HEARTS script, soundtrack and cast list on the table in front of him.

He stared at it emotionlessly for a few seconds. "…it's the Cast for the school play, Riku."

My frown deepened. "What I meant was _why the hell did you fuck up the cast list_? Why is SORA at the top of the list?"

Dad's gaze returned to the TV. (The Japan disaster was being reviewed on the local news channel, and Dad seemed to care quite a lot about it.) "Well, Sora had quite a remarkable voice. And his twin brother, Roxas, had that husky bad-boy voice I needed for his character. Namine was perfect; she's got that whole helpless, beaten-up vibe, she's shy, tender, troubled…excellent. And then there's that girl with the red hair; Karen, wasn't it?"

"Kairi," I corrected automatically, her angelic name slipping through my lips. Then I shook my head. "Don't try and change the subject! You more than anyone should know that what really matters is the social status—not the voice! Don't you realize how much you could have jeopardized my social rank, Dad?"

Dad frowned slightly. "Now, Riku, you got the lead last year—"

"You let _the school reject _beat me to the main lead, Dad? How fucked up is that?" This was probably the first time I'd actually cursed in a conversation with my Dad, probably due to how mad I'd gotten. "If you really cared about me, you would've scrapped that piece of junk and—"

I stopped short as Dad suddenly punched the table with all his force, the sound resounding off the walls with an echo. I instinctively took a step back, shocked and frightened.

Dad's jaw was clenched firmly, his teeth gritted, his merciless eyes staring straight at me. "I didn't give you your precious lead because I thought it was time you realized that the whole world _doesn't_ revolve around _you_, Riku."

I was left speechless. What he'd just said was unexpected; Dad usually did everything I told him. I had always been his favorite, and I was sure that, to him, the whole world _did_ revolve around me. And now…

Dad turned away, focusing his eyes back on the television. I just stared at him, hurt and irritated.

I eventually gave up glaring at him and heading upstairs. I thought about starting with my homework, and remembered the essay I had to do for Genesis. I managed to find an old one while sorting through my computer documents in my laptop.

While waiting for it to print, I idly went to check my Facebook account.

_**Two days**_, Tidus had posted on my wall. I replied something rude before checking out my notifications.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw: _Kairi Bellamy-Price has accepted your friend request_. I found myself navigating to her profile and checking out her pictures. She seemed to be about two years younger in all of her pictures, but she still looked adorable. Her cheeks were slightly chubbier and her hair was a bit shorter, but her amazing, picture-perfect smile stayed the same.

I was still gawking at her through the screen when my door suddenly slammed open, and I slammed my laptop shut with a yell of surprise.

Loz's idiotic laughter boomed across the room, and I let out an irritated sigh. Out of the three triplets, Loz was the least scary. I didn't have to watch what I said around him. "Get outta my room, Loz."

"Is that how you say hello to your big brother?" Loz said in a very not-fatherly voice. He was filing his nails with a knife, and I wondered how he did that without chopping his finger off.

I sighed again, leaning on my desk with my elbows and giving him a glare. "Yeh. Hi. Whadda you want?"

He just shook his head and chuckled. He headed to the printer, where my homework had finished printing. He picked up my 600-word essay, skimmed through it, and then tore it into tiny little pieces. He started laughing as if he'd just played the most hilarious joke on earth, obviously not aware that my homework was stored in my computer memory and could be printed countless times, no matter how many times he ripped it up.

"Oops. Sorry." He snickered, wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes, and then crossed his bulky arms. "So. Whatcha doin'?"

"Homework," I replied bluntly. "What about you? What moved you to leave your own apartment and come over to my room and obliterate my homework?"

"Uh…" Loz blinked, lost for words. He stopped and scratched his hair in thought. "I…I had a reason…I'm sure of it…"

I was still watching him struggle to remember whatever he was struggling to remember when Dad suddenly yelled for us to come to the table from the landing.

I raised an eyebrow at Loz. "Remember yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet…"

I shook my head pitifully at his sad case before heading out of my room and joining Dad at the table.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Suppertime in the Harada family was always a deadpan, uneventful event. Dad usually just heated something up, usually something of the potato, vegetable or pizza variety, and we all dined in silence, occasionally taking sips of the alcohol that was laid out on the table.

I, of course, didn't take any alcohol with my supper, but Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz almost always stayed over for dinner and they never ate anything without booze. Today Dad had countless KINGDOM HEARTS paraphernalia with me at the table, and his food was pushed aside, forgotten. Loz kept stealing tidbits of Dad's pizza. I wasn't really a fan of pineapple so I gave him some of mine, sipping some of my Coke instead.

"An inhabitant of the Southern Islands in his late twenties, namely Dilan Dewaan, was found unconscious in his home on 31st Westlake Crescent this morning. He is in a critical condition due to excessive heroine consumption, and police have suspected he tried to commit suicide. They have no idea at the moment how he obtained these illegal drugs, and the police are still at the scene. He is currently staying at the local hospital…"

Dad shook his head, tutting. "What a waste."

I nearly ignored the breaking news until I saw the picture of the man who had tried to take his own life.

It was the man with braids I'd seen on Tuesday, staring at the camera with cold violet eyes. I don't know why, but I couldn't look away. Those eyes were piercing accusingly into my soul, and the room suddenly felt cold.

Okay, I admit it. I was _scared_.

Who wouldn't be if they'd just found out they'd attributed to someone's suicide?

Loz munched his pizza violently, Yazoo nodded at me with a knowing eye, and Kadaj shook his head mock-sadly. "Poor soul. Guess that's just the way it is, huh?" He accented his statement with a sickening grin.

I couldn't take it anymore and suddenly stood up, storming upstairs to my bed and shutting off the lights.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It took me ages to fall asleep, and then my alarm rang and it was Thursday morning.

I stumbled out of bed and performed my hair-care routine, but I was so groggy that I missed my hair quite a few times and ended up burning myself with my flat iron. Nothing too major, thankfully.

I was sure I had huge bags under my eyes, and I was applying cucumber eye-bag cream (because it actually works; Yuna told me when we were dating that that was what she used) when I heard a knock on the door.

"Don't come in," I deadpanned.

"Riku…it's me." I heard Dad's voice from the other side of the door. He sounded sort of…sad.

I paused in my actions and stood up to open the door. Dad was there, looking sort of disheveled, the way he always did whenever he had a hangover. "Hey. Dad."

"Riku," Dad cleared his throat, giving me a soft smile. "I…I just wanted to say that I'm…I'm sorry about how I yelled at you yesterday. I shouldn't have done that. I was…it's just that I was having one of my bad moods…I'm having problems at work and someone's messing with—"

"It's okay, Dad," I cut in impatiently, looking at my watch.

He smiled again, that haunting wistful smile. "Are you sure? I could give you the main role if that's what you want; I was being selfish, thinking about what I needed and—"

"I said it's _**okay**_." His sweetness was sickening. He was in one of his phases again, and it nauseated me. "I kinda gotta get ready for school."

"Right. Me too." Dad cleared his throat and headed to his room, while I finished dressing up and headed down for breakfast.

"…Dilan Dewaan was confirmed dead at six a.m. this morning. Meanwhile, at his home, the police located an empty parcel containing traces of narcotic substances—"

I switched off the television and threw the remote control across the room.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was in such a mood that I nearly crashed into a tree on the way to school.

My friends were waiting for me in the car park, as usual. I tried not to show how frustrated and afraid I was about all the other things happening, especially around Kairi, whose heart I was supposed to win before Friday.

It was really awkward in SexEd. Reno was flipping through a Japanese hentai magazine when we walked into the room. CONTRACEPTION was written in large across the blackboard.

"Uh, Reno?" I asked, intrigued and irritated at the same time. I mean, no one else was going to ask it, and I felt I was doing them all a favor. "Why is the word contraception written on the board?"

"Cause that's today's topic, _duh_," Reno replied, tossing his hentai magazine in the trash. "First for a few questions! What is a condom?"

He continued asking simple questions that everyone knew the answer to, and then he started speaking about pregnancy pills and ovulation patches and other stuff everyone probably knew. I gave Kairi a sideways glance, and her face was about as red as a tomato.

It took all my willpower not to gush overtly over her adorableness.

I laughed instead and managed to make her feel more relaxed by cracking a few of my favorite jokes. Some of them weren't even that funny, but it was extremely easy to make her laugh. Too easy.

But then I ran out of jokes and just watched her laugh, the tinkle of her giggling music to my ears. I attempted asking her out, but I realized it was impossible with the way she kept intently looking into my eyes.

My hands felt clammy and my heartbeat thudded more rapidly, but thankfully I was saved by the bell ringing.

"Drama," she announced as she packed up her things. "Big whoop." The sunlight had caught her red hair, making it glimmer with life. She gave me a little wave and turned around, her hair thudding against her small back.

And all along I was thinking: _I don't deserve someone THAT perfect._

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Shuyin's birthday party is on the North Beach, right?"

We were in the Drama Hall, waiting for some of the junior guys to clear out the hall so we could start rehearsal. Kairi had joined our circle, since she'd apparently 'gotten bored of the fashion debates' that were going on between her friends and the cheerleaders. She was so hyped up about Shuyin's birthday party at the beach, and kept asking questions. It would've been annoying if it was any other person, but I found it personally impossible to get annoyed with her.

"Yes, it is," I replied helpfully. "Five o'clock."

"I'll bring the booze," Tidus announced. Shuyin whacked him on the back of his head. "HEY! What was _that_ for?"

"You can bring the booze, T, we're all fine with that." Shuyin rolled his eyes. "Just make sure you don't take more than _one_ can this time; I'm tired of having to explain to Mom whenever she finds you naked underneath the couch."

Tidus blushed. "That only happened _once_, Shu! Ugh…"

Kairi had started laughing again, but was shushed by Dad once again. He told everyone to sit down, everyone except the main characters, who were told to take the stage.

Kairi shot Sora a glance and a smile, but he was too busy looking at his script to realize. Namine was chewing on her sleeve (a lot like the Sora from last year), and Roxas was chewing gum.

"You five are going to be singing the opening song to this play, which I suspect you all know."

It was 'Shadow of the Day' by Linkin Park that we were told to sing. Kairi and I nodded, and so did Roxas, Sora and Namine.

"Good. Off you go then."

* * *

**Yeh. So I coulda made that longer. And you guys waited all that long, and all. :(**

**Sorry. For the sake of the plot bunnies.**

**In the middle of ADD chapter 16, KH Fanmail Season Two Debut Episode, and my RokuNami Day Special, so things are sorta tight. Not to mention school. I missed three days of lessons, which is kinda a lot. **

**Oh well. R&R, even if this chappie didn't please you. Next one shall be better, and a little less emo. **

**Luff you guys. Truly. **

**xxxxx**


	9. Competition

**A/N: Just one more chappie to go…or not. I mean, APO is moving way faster than ADD…**

**Review replies…**

**Draco Oblivion: I know, I feel sorry for him too. *sniffles* And I really want to make his life all dandy here and now, but…you know. Plot bunnies. And thank you for reading Hero::Heroine! :D Btw, I'm not the first person making a gang fic, so it's cool. xD And Namine just has a weird sense of attraction, or something. :P **

**Superpeanutbutter: Yeh! Me too! :D And thanks for reviewing Hero::Heroine! :D And thanks for thinking about making a mini comic! xxx**

**Roxymccartney: Hope your headache's better. Lol.**

**Disclaimer: ROFLMAOMGWTF!**

**Oh, and by the way if you haven't noticed, check out my two-shot! It's a sorta merge with this story...for those of you who havent noticed it yet...**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_My Dad's got some kind of emotional problem…_

"I didn't give you your precious lead because I thought it was time you realized that the whole world _doesn't_ revolve around _you_, Riku."

_And I sort of attributed to someone's suicide. Awesome (NOT). _

"An inhabitant of the Southern Islands in his late twenties, namely Dilan Dewaan, was found unconscious in his home on 31st Westlake Crescent this morning. He is in a critical condition due to excessive heroine consumption…"

It was the man with braids I'd seen on Tuesday, staring at the camera with cold violet eyes. I don't know why, but I couldn't look away. Those eyes were piercing accusingly into my soul, and the room suddenly felt cold.

_Which isn't exactly cool. I'm almost eighteen—the legal age to get put in prison. What am I gonna do then?_

_And do I have to remind you that I'm also trying to win Kairi over? _

_FML._

* * *

**Chapter 9: Competition**

"_And the shadow of the day_

_Will embrace the world in grace_

_And the su-un will set for you…_"

That was the first time I'd sang with Kairi.

And it was amazing.

Well, it would've helped if Sora hadn't kept screwing up his lines and forgetting when to come in and everything.

Dad was particularly miffed; his jaw was clenched all period long, and he even made Sora stay after class to have a little 'talk'.

He ended up being late for Phys/Chem. He breezed past me and headed over to Kairi, not even giving me a glance. Rinoa came back from walking her dog. People went over to stroke and gush over it, and I noticed Sora stiffen, like usual. My smile vanished when he managed to make Kairi giggle, which was kind of supposed to be _my _job.

Which was probably why, before I could stop myself, I heard myself say: "Hey, Kai!" I patted the empty space next to me, and she seemed to get the message. Fang, who was about to ask to be my lab partner, went off in a huff as Kairi sat down next to me.

Riku: 1 Sora: 0

Sora managed to grab her attention in Math by pulling these ridiculous faces at her when the teacher wasn't looking. This got me irritated, because whenever I tried to get her attention, she'd just suddenly burst into giggles. And the only reason that this was irritating was because _I_ wasn't the person making her giggle.

Riku: 1 Sora: 1

I suddenly had an idea. It was pretty hard, but I managed to pretend I'd forgotten the basics of Calculus just so Kairi could explain it to me. She explained it again, but my eyes were glued to her lips, which were coated in cherry blossom-colored lipstick.

"…understand?" She asked for the fifth time that lesson.

I blinked out of my reverie. "Huh?"

She sighed in exasperation, putting down her pencil. "What happened to the Riku who thought Calculus was 'a breeze'?"

"I dunno. Maybe he just wanted _you_ to explain it to him." I couldn't believe I said that, but I managed to get the desired effect. She stared at me for a few seconds, and then she started giggling.

So, yeh, at least _I_ managed to make her giggle that lesson.

Riku: 2 Sora: 1

And then in History with Barrett I had the chance to tell everyone about the time I wrestled a live bear at camp last year (which wasn't a complete lie; I _did_ see a bear, but all I did was threw a stick at it, not _wrestle_ it. No one needed to know that, though.). Kairi seemed pretty impressed, and so did the rest of the class (except Tidus, who knew I was making things up). Just to be cocky, I offered to demonstrate using Sora, but Barrett said it was out of the question and that we had better move on to the Ice Age.

Riku: 3 Sora: 1 (HAHA!)

I thought I had made it pretty clear that Sora didn't stand a chance. In English Literature, I couldn't stop myself from mocking him. "How's it going?"

At first he ignored me, but he replied when I resorted to prodding his puny back. "You ain't seen nothing yet."

"Uh-huh. Hn." I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous he sounded. "She's _so _into me, Sora. You don't stand a chance."

"She'd have to be crazy to like someone like you," he snapped back with a glare.

For some reason, that got to me, and I frowned. "Well she'd have to be even crazier to like you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"HARADA! KYUMUKE!"

We stopped.

"Are you two so madly in love with each other that you can't keep quiet for one measly hour?"

I grimaced in disgust at the thought of liking Sora, but my cheeks turned pink as everyone started laughing. Sora's ears were a similar color.

When everyone had finished tittering, Genesis looked down his nose at us. "I think I recall giving you two essays to do for today, am I right?"

I nodded and retrieved my essay from my notebook, handing it to him. Sora's eyes widened, and I concluded that he'd forgotten to do it. Tidus seemed equally surprised, but I told him it was the same one from last year when Genesis was out of hearing range.

Sora ended up with an hour of detention, but Genesis just gave me a fond smile.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Friday morning, in Art. We're doing Pointillism, with a teacher that looks WAY too young to be one. She's called Stella Nox Fleuret, or something, and Yuna said she competed in the Regionals the previous year.

How she went from a glee club singer to an art teacher I'll never know.

Kairi seemed intrigued when I told her her age, but I didn't really have time to tell her anymore.

We were doing an Art Evaluation on Pointillism. Kairi mumbled something about it not being fair.

I caught a glimpse of Sora at the other end of the class, and decided to play dirty.

Picking up all the red markers I could find, I set to work.

Time went by, and before I knew it I had pointillated (not sure that's a word, but whatever) a large red heart for my Art Evaluation. I was adding the finishing touches when I felt someone looking at me. I met Kairi's eyes, and grinned. "What're you doing?"

"Dunno, can't come up with ideas," Kairi replied with a shrug. She glanced in the direction of my artwork. "What about you?"

I paused, debating on whether I should show her or not, before finally settling on the first choice.

I lifted up my arm and slid my artwork towards her.

She stared at it, eyes widening and looking sort of amazed. I grinned despite myself at how cute she looked. She looked up at me with wide eyes, and then she smiled.

Before I knew what was happening, Kairi leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

I _swear_ I heard one of those cheesy love songs playing in the background. I _swear_.

Or at least in my head. Because for the rest of the period I couldn't think straight. The touch of Kairi's lips seemed to have seeped through my skin and into my brain, tangling up my thoughts and pulling me into a comatose dreamland.

Riku: 4 Sora: 1

I was SO winning this thing.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Someone must have told Tidus and the rest about Kairi kissing me on the cheek in Art, because Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka just wouldn't let it rest. I guess I didn't really mind; my mind was elsewhere anyway. Tidus even resorted to singing a remix of that gay tune little kids always sang: "_Riku and Kairi, sitting in a tree—F-U-C-K-I-N-G!_"

They gave up at lunch when they realized they weren't getting any reaction out of me. Vanille alerted me that I'd better wash my face, since there was a faint lipstick mark on my cheek, but I just pretended I didn't hear her.

It was only when we'd sat down at our usual table and started eating that I noticed what we were having for lunch.

_Shepherd's Pie_.

I couldn't miss the opportunity.

I waited until Kairi had finished telling Sora something (I tried reading their lips, but I'm not exactly a pro lip-reader) and returned to her seat before standing up and picking up my plate of Shepherd's Pie. "Watch this."

Kairi's eyes widened. "Wait…what are you—?"

"HEY, SASQUATCH!"

Before he could react, I hurled my plate of potato, pastry, cream and mince at the back of his head.

SPLAT!

Direct hit, perfect shot. Well whadda you expect from the Destiny Dolphins Blitzball captain? I'd taken the team to Nationals, after all, two years in a row. (Well, basically every DC team, even the glee club, was simply incapable of getting past Nationals, for one reason or the other.)

Everyone burst into laughter, me included. I had SO always wanted to do that. I noticed Sora's hands clench tightly around his cutlery, and presumed he was crying.

"Excellent shot, man!" I heard Wakka yell from the table.

I was still laughing my ass off when something wet and squishy hit me square on the face. Cream and mince filled my nose, my throat, my eyes. The cafeteria was silent, and then the plate fell to the ground with a clatter.

I willed myself not to start gagging and make a huge fool of myself, and instead swallowed everything in my mouth before speaking. "FOOD FIGHT!"

And all hell broke loose.

Food of all sorts was flying everywhere; juice, pancakes, cupcakes, pie, fruit, spaghetti, porridge, yogurt, and, of course, Shepherd's Pie. Everyone went wild, flinging plates of chow anywhere and everywhere, hiding under tables for refuge, smearing ketchup on their faces and omitting war cries. The freshmen looked traumatized, and I even saw one or two crying.

Tidus, Wakka, Shuyin and the Blitzers were on an all out feud, crazy with food fight hysteria while the Cheerleaders screamed and tried to prevent their over-made-up faces from getting Food-ified. Yuna had brought out her umbrella, shading herself, Lenne and Rikku, and Kairi was struggling to defend herself with a chair and stray trays she found lying around.

I pitied her.

But I kept my focus on Sora the whole time, and vice versa. We picked up anything and everything we found on the way, tossing and chucking our trays wildly at each other, spraying ketchup and mustard and curry sauce and whatever liquid we could find into each other's hair and down each other's underpants…

And, as much as I hate to admit it…it was sort of…fun.

And I hadn't had that much fun in ages.

Then Principal Yoshida arrived.

"ENOUGH!"

Everything and everyone came to a halt, except one plate of flying pasta.

Principal Yoshida was too slow to react.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Of course, Principal Yoshida came to know that we started the food fight, and we took the blame for everything.

Which was why, about thirty minutes later, Sora and I were sitting outside the Principal's office.

I felt horrible. Sora had squirted an unimaginable amount of mustard down my pants, and I now I had a screaming itch in my subsection. My arms felt sticky, and so did my hair. I didn't even want to think about how long it would take to wash all of it out.

Sora wasn't any better, though, which soothed me. Pickles, ketchup and mince stuck to his unruly spikes, and his tannish skin was smeared with barbecue sauce. His eyes were sort of red, and I remembered I'd squirted curry in them.

An itch screamed again, and I scrunched up my face in discomfort, glowering at Sora. "Thanks a lot."

"Hey, you started it." He had the audacity to shrug.

It was silent for some time, and then I said: "Let's face it: I _so _pawned ya."

Sora looked at me with his periwinkle blue bug-eyes, as if I'd just insulted him. "_Yeah_ right. Didn't you see when I threw that spaghetti bolognaise right in your face? That was SO a bull's-eye, man!"

"Not by a long shot," I retorted, shaking my head. "When I sprayed you with my twin BBQ sauce guns…_that_ was expertise."

Sora frowned. "That was _nothing_ compared to the time I poured that blueberry slushie down your pants!"

"It _so_ was!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Kyumuke, Harada, in my office, NOW."

We turned around to see Principal Yoshida's furious face. He motioned for us to come in before disappearing behind the door. Sora and I shared a look.

"But that was _nothing_ compared to when that pasta hit Principal Yoshida in the face."

I smirked, remembering Principal Yoshida's face, pasta and tomato sauce dripping down his blonde beard. "Damn straight."

Sora and I laughed, and I felt strangely at ease. As we laughed, I felt like a huge boulder had just been lifted off me, and I feel that maybe—just maybe—Sora might not be so bad after all.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Principal Yoshida gave us a thirty-minute reprimanding session about 'respect for the school property', 'cleaning staff' and 'cafeteria ladies'. He knew better than to make me and Sora clean the whole cafeteria. Dad happens to own tapes recording some of Ansem's 'deepest secrets', and he uses them all the time for blackmail. Their deal even prevented me from getting suspended once in sophomore year.

We did end up with an hour of detention for Monday, but I didn't really mind. At least I had an excuse for my brothers.

* * *

**There! A super quick update! :D Next chappie will be Shuyin's birthday bash! WOOT! **

_**Sneak peek:**_

"_Remember our bet, Riku?"_

"_There is NO FUCKING WAY I'm running down North Beach naked."_

"_Do you ever feel…"_

"…_like the whole world is suffocating you and you do everything you do, even what you don't want to, just to please them?"_

**ADDICTED IS ON THE WAY, PEOPLE! KYAAA! **

**And don't worry, so is Fanmail. **

**Now hurry along and hit that review button. Stay cool. ^^**


	10. Guilt

**A/N: Wazzup people? **

**Chappie ten of Apologize is finally here! Now we can get back to Addicted! :) And I FINALLY watched Tangled—it's out on DVD! I can honestly say it's my best Disney movie, since I just realized that that How to Train Your Dragon was actually a Dreamworks Motion Picture…speaking of Motion Pictures, Tangled was Disney's 50****th****! L-O-V-E IT! If I had to replace one of the Disney Princesses in KH, I'd definitely replace her with Rapunzel!**

**Okay, enough about Disney, and more about Squeenix.**

**Review replies!**

**Draco Oblivion: You'll see in this chappie what happens. :D **

**Reigatsu: Yup, that's BROMANCE. xD Sora and Riku are platonic lovers in the game, so I wanted to do the same in here. :) Thanks for reviewing! Check out the other two fics and then tell me what you think! BOOYAH! (Sorry for stealing your catchphrase…it's contagious.)**

**Rayne Destiny: Yup, two chapters. I work fast. And you should read the other two sides to get the whole story properly. I was thinking of doing a fourth side, but that wouldn't be fair on the audience (I know how tiring it is to read a story only knowing you have others to read afterwards…tiring as hell.) And maybe they'll end up friends; Riku needs one. Well, a real one anyway. **

**Roxy mccartney: Actually I got that remix from the guys in my class, who are perverts to the extreme. :P **

**Half-Dragon Hero: Lmao, no Shuyin's beach is on the North…opposite of the Anime Convention, which is at the South. Oopsies. **

**No. VII a.k.a Karasu: No, Riku didn't ask Kairi on a date. He just wanted to, but couldn't because for the first time in his life lost confidence and wasn't sure she'd say yes. Lmao. And having him fail gives the story a whole new plot. **

**Morgead'sgirl: Thank you! XXX**

**Superpeanutbutter: I know, rite? :D Well, this chappie's the party so…well. **

**Off we go!**

**Disclaimer: Nuh-uh, got it memorized? And the Truth and Dare section of this chappie was inspired by one of Annria2002's commissions, and was NOT commissioned by me. (I just found out what commission meant **_**after **_**posting chappie 10 of Angel, so yeh. Please don't sue meh.)**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Sora and I are in a heated rivalry._

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

_I get a kiss from Kairi. Well, on the cheek. _

Before I knew what was happening, Kairi leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

I _swear_ I heard one of those cheesy love songs playing in the background. I _swear_.

_I perform a remake of freshman year's Shepherd's Pie incident and start a food fight._

Food of all sorts was flying everywhere; juice, pancakes, cupcakes, pie, fruit, spaghetti, porridge, yogurt, and, of course, Shepherd's Pie. Everyone went wild, flinging plates of chow anywhere and everywhere, hiding under tables for refuge, smearing ketchup on their faces and omitting war cries. The freshmen looked traumatized, and I even saw one or two crying.

_But, as much as I hate to admit it…it was actually sorta fun._

_And even though we're rivals at war and everything…Sora might not be so bad._

_Yeh. But he still doesn't stand a chance._

* * *

**Chapter 10: Guilt**

I didn't get to see Kairi after school; she had disappeared somewhere with the girls, probably to clean up. She was in quite a state when Principal Yoshida ushered everyone out of the cafeteria.

As soon as I got home I went upstairs to have a shower and wash my hair. I couldn't be bothered to do the whole hair-care routine and just lazily blow-dried it. My hair ended up looking like a dead poodle, but I didn't really care since I wasn't going anywhere.

I was busy brushing out my fuzzy pile of silver on my head when my phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hey, little brother."

My fingers tightened around the receiver. "What is it, Kadaj?"

"Gotta 'nother mission for you. Be at our apartment pronto."

I frowned, my teeth gritting. "I'm not doing any _stupid _mission tonight, Kadaj."

"_That_…wouldn't be a good idea, little brother." I could hear Kadaj smirking on the other end of the line. "Did you hear that thing on the news about some dude who's in hospital after taking an overdose of—what was it again?—marijuana?"

I stiffened. "You—"

"The cops are gonna give a huge reward to the person who finds the culprit…"

He let that sink in. I licked my lips and sighed. "Fine. I'll be over there in a minute."

"Better get here quick—we've gotta lotta work to do."

He hung up, and I lowered the receiver, sighing. I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

And, for the first time since, well, ever, I didn't like what I saw looking back at me.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz's apartment was in absolute disarray. I hardly ever went there, so it was quite a shock, to say the least.

He lived on the top floor of an apartment building—the penthouse. They'd kind of crapped it up, so it didn't really look like one anymore. I remember Dad agreeing to buy them one as soon as they graduated from high school.

I tapped on the door, and it opened almost immediately. I was hit by the smell of smoke, cocaine, beer and many other disgusting stuff. Kadaj was smoking when he opened the door, and he smelt like he always did—expired deodorant mixed with sweat. "Took you long enough."

I decided not to answer and entered his apartment. Loz was on the couch, drinking what I supposed was a beer and Yazoo was sharpening his pocket knife on his fingernails (he looked like freaking Dracula doing that; it freaked me out). There was the guy with the beanie from the other day, and there was another guy I didn't recognize.

He was dark-skinned and bulky-armed, and he looked like he hadn't smiled in centuries. He was standing next to Beanie, crossing his arms, and he regarded me with a perpetual glare.

"Hey," Beanie gave me a wave. I decided to ignore him, which wasn't really a good idea.

"Hey! Seifer was talkin' to you, ya know!" Bulky Guy grumbled.

"It's okay, Rai," Seifer chuckled. "Leave the newbie alone. Wouldn't wanna scare him off now would we?"

I rolled my eyes, and Rai barked again. "HEY! Show some respect, ya know!"

I was about to retort angrily with a comment along the lines of 'SHUT THE FUCK UP, YA KNOW!' when Loz started chortling loudly. "What's up with your hair, dude?"

I frowned. I'd had to tie it up to hide the puffiness and everything. I guess it didn't really help anything. "Can we just move onto the part when you guys order me to do some stupid errand you can't do yourself?"

Seifer and his buddy laughed, but the Triplets just glared at me. "Watch your mouth, pretty boy." Kadaj frowned and handed me a satchel. I was immediately hesitant. "You are to take this, drop it at the appropriate address, and then report back here. Do NOT say a word about who you are unless ultimately necessary."

I nodded quickly and retrieved the satchel.

I had a feeling I didn't want to know what it contained.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The next morning my alarm was more annoying than ever. Probably because of how late I'd slept the previous night. I was simply too tired to stand up and switch it off, which resulted in me tossing and turning for over three hours while trying to catch some sleep.

I eventually dragged myself to my feet and switched off my alarm i.e. crushed it into tiny little pieces. I rubbed my throbbing forehead to try and lessen the headache that was coming on. I realized I was still wearing my clothes from last night. The sleeve of my polo was ripped thanks to the sharp wood it caught on on the way to the Children's Shelter.

Apparently there were some rehab patients that needed some hash, or something. A few of them had babies, and I was a bit reluctant to hand it to them. They couldn't have been over twenty-one, and they looked like they were once prostitutes. One of them even put their hand down the back of my pants, but Seifer thankfully interceded before she raped me. (Because yes, that is possible.)

Seifer was pretty okay, but I made sure not to get too close to him. He had a painful-looking scar on his nose and he looked generally badass. I figured he was the kind of guy that would be dangerous to befriend, so I watched what I said around him.

The Triplets sent me home around nine, obviously aware that Dad would be mad at me for being out so late. Fortunately, he was on the phone when I got back, so I didn't have to answer any annoying questions.

Presently, I pulled off my polo and plaid trousers and stuffed them in the laundry. My iPhone made a guitar strumming sound; I had a message.

I picked it up and tapped open the message. It was from Tidus.

_**B there at 4! Don't b l8!**_

It took me a while to realize what he was talking about. Then I realized what he was talking about.

_Shuyin's birthday party. Shit._

I looked at the clock. It read _2:50_.

_Shit!_

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I managed to make it to Shuyin's place at ten past four, which wasn't so bad considering all I had to do before then i.e. untangle the mess called my hair, have a shower, pick out some clothes, pack my beach bag, have breakfast (well, lunch) and clean up my room.

"What took you so long, man?" Tidus greeted me as soon as he opened the door.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought the party was at five."

"~Yes," Tidus chuckled. "But seeing as you're our ever-so-nice friend and it's Shu's birthday today, you're going to help us set everything up before they arrive."

I nodded and rubbed my forehead. I'd taken some headache medicine before coming, but it didn't seem to be working. "Right. Whatever."

As I was unloading the alcohol cabinet, Tidus said something that made me freeze. "Remember our bet, Riku?"

I halted. "What?"

"It's Saturday, and you still haven't asked Kairi out," Tidus reminded me.

I cursed silently. "I…I don't…I just needed more time."

"I do remember you distinctly saying 'She'd have fallen for me by Friday latest'," Tidus quoted annoyingly. "And it's Saturday. Time's up."

I sighed. "You can't be serious…"

"Oh yeah?"

"There is NO FUCKING WAY I'm running down North Beach naked."

Tidus cackled. "But we had a deal, 'Ku."

I shook my head. And then I had an idea. "What about you, Tidus?"

Tidus blinked at me dumbly. "What?"

"When are _you_ gonna ask Yuna out?" I smirked. "I broke up with her for that, you know. It's not normal for you to have a crush on someone for two years without making a move."

"These things take time, okay?" Tidus retorted, laying out cans of Red Bull in a systematic fashion. (I _so_ can't have failed English. The computer must have been rigged, or something.)

I nodded slowly, understanding. "Fine. Here's the REAL deal—you tell Yuna, and I'll tell Kairi. Deal?"

Tidus paused, but eventually gave in, sighing. "Deal."

Basically we spent another thirty minutes cleaning up Tidus and Shuyin's house and then we started setting up the stands. Shuyin's house was conveniently next to the beach, so we could chill outside before coming in later.

We were finishing up when the Cheerleaders arrived. I looked around but Kairi wasn't with them, and neither were Rikku, Yuna or Lenne. Shuyin and Tidus looked slightly disappointed, and I bet I did too.

Vanille and Ashe giggled and waved at me, along with some of the cheerleaders. I flashed a trademark smile at them so they'd leave me alone. Yuffie rolled her eyes while all the cheerleaders broke into fangirlish giggles. She was always the tomboy of the group, one of the guys, and she was in conversation with some guy on the Blitzball team.

"Hey, Riku," I heard HER murmur into my ear.

I span around and looked at Fang with bored, uninterested eyes. "Hey."

She smiled, obviously ecstatic that I'd replied. "Um…wh-what's up?"

I shrugged, looking over her shoulder at Wakka, Tidus and Shuyin, who were heading outside. "Nothing much."

She tossed her head 'sexily'. "Oh, um…well." She cleared her throat and pulled a volleyball out of her handbag. "Up for a game of volleyball?"

I shook my head before she even finished her sentence. "Nah, I'll pass. I was gonna surf, actually." I pulled off my shirt to show I was serious.

Her face crumpled. Aw. "But…later then?"

"Maybe," I replied, not at all meaning it though, and headed outside to join the guys.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Surfing is something else I'm wicked at. I guess it just comes naturally with Blitzball.

Wakka, Tidus and Shuyin have been surfing since they were seven, though, so they were way ahead of me. I fell over a few times, but nothing major really happened. Most of them had to do with Tidus.

"PUSH ME OFF MY BOARD AGAIN AND I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!" I growled as I climbed onto my surfboard once again. The saltwater made my eyes sting.

He just grinned goofily. "Like to see you try."

I gave him a competitive grin and headed for the next wave. Tidus skimmed it professionally. I moved to do the same thing, carefully lessening the space in between us. I managed to move into his course, and his eyes widened when he noticed.

He tried to swerve, but it was too late. I took a sharp turn and splashed gallons of water at him, knocking him off his board.

I broke into peals of laughter, but it slowly died down once I realized no one was laughing with me. "Yo. Tidus?" My heart started pounding. "Tidus? T? You there?" I was starting to descend from the wave when someone suddenly yanked the back of my trunks and sent me hurtling backwards into the sea with a splash.

My eyes and nose burned as I broke the surface, taking a huge gulp of air and coughing. Tidus was next to me, laughing and pointing and coughing as well. I was about to give Tidus a hard shove when Shuyin stopped us. "Be civilized, guys. Damn."

"He started it," I muttered, heading back to the waves. Tidus just grinned sheepishly.

I had barely started when I heard: "Yoohoo!"

Rikku, Lenne, Yuna and Kairi headed our way. Kairi looked slightly nervous, smiling timidly.

"Here comes Yuna, T," Wakka chuckled, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "And she's in a bikini."

Tidus grumbled, his cheeks coloring, and splashed water at Wakka. This resulted in a ruthless water battle. I headed to the shore to meet the girls.

"Hey," I breathed, keeping my eyes more on Kairi than on the rest. Okay, so it wasn't exactly intentional. Her blue dress fitted her nicely, and the way she creased her hair made her eyes look shinier for some reason.

"Hey," she replied with a swift smile. Then she looked over at Shuyin. "Happy birthday, Shuyin!"

Shuyin thanked her, but he was more focused on Lenne. Lenne started whining on about how old he was, and Shuyin started teasing her 'littleness', and we eventually got sick of the cheese and started doing other stuff.

I went to get a drink, and when I came back I met Kairi, who seemed particularly intrigued by the volleyball match that was taking place. "Volleyball, huh? Now that's a sport."

"Anyone can play volleyball," I said simply, draining my cup of lemonade. "It's just hitting a stupid little ball around a field."

"Oh yeah?" She challenged cutely. "If you think it's so easy, I'd like to see you play."

I rolled my eyes, crushing my cup. "Puh-lease."

Tidus ceased his staring contest with Yuna's boobs and entered our conversation. "What's this? A volleyball challenge?"

"Yeah," I replied, nodding at Kairi for approval. "Boys vs. girls."

Kairi beamed. "May the best team win!"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Well, we lost. Partially because I was, like, the only one playing in our team since Tidus was too dazed to coordinate himself properly, Wakka was useless with a volleyball, Shuyin was flirting with Lenne for the whole duration of the game, and Zidane wasn't really playing much.

Yuffie, Rikku and Kairi were ruthless, slamming the ball onto our side of the field and leaving us in the dust. By the end of the match I felt as if my manhood had just been humiliated.

Fang had been rubbing herself with sunblock and yawning excessively the whole time, apparently trying to catch my attention. She looked like she had back pain, or something, and I would have told her that if I'd had the time.

Hehe.

We headed inside at sunset. Shuyin put on the music, and the speakers went at full blast. Shuyin's parents were, like, always abroad, so they didn't have to worry about the huge mess everyone was making.

The party was going okay; I even did some dancing. Fang frequently tried flirting with me, and I had to keep blowing her off. But she didn't quit. Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' was playing when she boisterously threw herself at me, grinding her body against mine.

I supposed she was drunk, and at first I was pretty temperate with her. But then she started trying to kiss me and I lost it, pushing her off me with a shove and heading to the drink stand.

Kairi was there, looking shy and a bit lost. I tried talking to her to make her feel more comfortable, but it was almost impossible over the loud music. She downed drinks like she was eternally thirsty, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that that wasn't really smart. So I just ended up standing there awkwardly, occasionally mumbling something.

Yuna, Rikku and Lenne eventually arrived to pull Kairi to the front of the room, and they all sang 'Cheers' by Rihanna. How fitting.

Before we knew it, it was eleven, and those who weren't invited to the after party left, leaving Shuyin, Wakka, Tidus, Yuna, Rikku, Lenne, Kairi and me.

I was watching _How I Met Your Mother _when Tidus suggested: "How 'bout a game of Spin the Bottle?"

Everyone shrugged.

The game started. We span the bottle. The softies like Shuyin picked Truth, and the real men, like me, picked Dare or Double Dare. It did end up with me having to wear my hair in pigtails, but it was worth it. Kairi was amazingly never picked, and I was kind of waiting for that. Shuyin ended up with lipstick smudges all down his arm, courtesy Rikku, and Tidus was wearing a red bra on his head (which belonged to Yuna—he was ecstatic).

Tidus span the bottle again, and it landed on me.

"_Shit_…" I mumbled.

"Truth, Dare or Double Dare?" Tidus inquired.

I leaned on my palm. "Truth, whatever."

"Aw, come on…be a man," Tidus teased.

I pointed at my hair. "You got me to do this. What more do you want?"

Tidus sent me a look that clearly said 'I could dare you to kiss Kairi. I could ask you if you like Kairi. I could ask you to bang Kairi…' And many other phrases along that line.

I flushed involuntarily. "Whatever."

"Okay…" Tidus scrunched his blond brows in thought. "Hmm…let's see…have you ever had a wet dream about a guy before?"

Wakka and Shuyin burst into laughter at the ridiculous question. I grimaced. "Hell no!"

"Well, you never know," Shuyin said. "Some people lean that way…"

"You guys are sick…" I muttered.

A song on the radio finished playing, and some dude started going over the daily news.

"Dilan Dewaan has been confirmed dead by the medical surgeons in The Sanatorium of Solace hospital in the West Island. His death was caused by heroine overdose, and the police are on the search for his brother, who is his closest family member, and are still investigating the case…"

I clammed up. Why was he haunting me? WHY?

"I really don't get why people take marijuana anyway when they know they're going to die in the end," Lenne mumbled, shaking her head and leaning against Shuyin.

"That's just sad," Shuyin agreed.

Kairi and everyone else nodded, and then Tidus moved to spin the bottle again, as if shaking off the subject.

But I couldn't. Dilan, whoever he was, was dead.

Because of me.

Okay, maybe not entirely because of me…but I had something to do with it.

And I couldn't shake off the heavy feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

"Riku?" I heard Kairi ask, her purply-blue eyes inquiring. "Are you okay?"

_Of course I'm not okay_. I didn't trust myself to answer. Everyone's focus was on me now. Tidus was looking at me with an imploring expression, and even Rikku had woken up from her slumber. My heart started pounding at the intensity of Kairi's gaze.

_I need to get out of here._

"I…I just need some air," I muttered. "I'm on the balcony, if you need me."

I went out into the balcony and slammed the door behind me.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I watched the waves incessantly hit the shore, how they were supposed to. It was dark, and the moonlight made pictures on the waves.

It was breezy, and I momentarily considered heading back inside to get my coat, but I thought better of it. I was, after all, in nothing but trunks, but if I went inside I'd only attract questions.

A particularly cold gust of autumn wind passed by, making goosebumps rise on my skin. I shivered.

"Riku?" I turned around to see Kairi standing at the door, holding it ajar. My jacket was in her other hand, her pink nail varnish clashing with the black leather. "I…I noticed you go out without a coat…and it's pretty cold out at night…"

I gave her a thankful smile and retrieved it. "Thanks, Kai." I pulled it on and immediately felt warmer. I leaned on the railing, resuming my previous position. I closed my eyes and inhaled the sea breeze, trying to forget everything that had happened that week.

I opened my eyes and saw that Kairi was still there. She was leaning against the railing aswell, barely visible in the moonlight.

She saw me looking. "Oh…uh…you don't mind me joining you, do you? I'm not really the partying type…"

I was surprised. "Really? You seemed pretty partyish before."

"Really?" She giggled. "How do you define 'partyish'?"

I shrugged. "Well…you looked like you were having a pretty good time, drinking and partying and dancing and stuff…"

She giggled again. "To tell you the truth, that's the first time I've drunk alcohol in my life. Probably why I'm so giggly."

I chuckled. "Well. You took your first shot professionally."

She chortled adorably, music to my ears. I felt myself smile, and I felt light-hearted. Suddenly everything didn't seem so bad anymore.

"So…what's up?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing much."

She started playing with her hair. "You just got up and left in the middle of the party…you seemed pretty miffed…and Yuna says you never leave in the middle of a party…"

"I'm fine," I replied, looking off into the waves again. Now that she'd stopped giggling, the cold atmosphere returned. "Just…needed some air."

"Oh." She nodded slowly, nibbling on a fingernail. "If…if something's bothering you…you can tell me, you know."

And I don't know what it was, but there was something in her voice that made me believe her.

"Sometimes I feel like everything I do is a stupid charade. Most of my friends are my friends because of how I act around them. That _isn't_ me, but…" I shook my head and sighed, noticing I was starting to gibber. "Do you know that feeling you get when you know something is _your_ fault, and you feel nobody else gets it?"

"When you feel like the whole world is suffocating you?" Kairi spoke up. Her eyes were a hypnotizing indigo color now. "Yeh…I get what you mean. I know how it feels to have to hide who you really are, to have to hide what you feel, just because you're afraid what everyone else will think. I know how it feels when you make one stupid mistake, and you really, really want to tell someone, to just _speak_…" Her voice wavered and she stopped talking. It was hard to see her face in the dim light, but I caught a glimpse of something wet running down her cheeks. "Sh-shit…"

"Kairi?" I asked, immediately concerned.

"S-Sorry, Riku." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I-I'm…I'm just not feeling very chipper right now."

"I'm…I'm sorry…did I say something wrong?"

She giggled sadly and shook her head, sniffing. "No you…you didn't do anything. I…I just get weird sometimes."

"Is there anything—?"

"I'm gonna go home now, 'kay?" She whimpered, wiping again at her cheeks. "Tell Shuyin and the others."

Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked away.

Leaving me there, feeling worried, miserable, and, most of all, guilty.

* * *

**I actually liked writing that. :)**

**Well, now I can FINALLY get back to Addicted! I'm still going to be doing these, and I'll probably keep the same updating schedule, but I'm just happy it didn't take as long as I thought it would. **

**I love how while all this is going on, Sora's at an Anime Expo. Haha. Makes me laugh.**

**I'd better go before I start prattling on about my favorite Tangled songs and all, so TATA! **

**R&R people, and thanks for your amazing reviews once again. I love it when I open my mail and see 'REVIEW ALERT'! It makes me almost as happy as when I see 'FAVORITE STORY'. We're on forty-something reviews, which is a lot, but not as much as Addicted. I take it Addicted is your fave side of this tale. :D **

**Well, without further ado, I salute you, oh majestic fish! **

…

**(Okay, I don't really know what that fish thing was about. Ignore it.)**


	11. FML

**A/N: BUENOS DIAS, MY AWESOME REVIEWERS! (*insert smiley emote here*) I luff you all! I am in such a good mood, despite the fact that I am drowning in homework and positively stuck in the mud doing my French poem! But who cares, right?**

**Morgead'sgirl: Yup, you're right! And I'm not gonna give spoilers or anything, but she just might end up with Riku…maybe. :) And I love Tangled, still, but my sisters are starting to irritate me with the way they won't stop watching it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again! Ughhhh. **

**Draco Oblivion: Hmm…yeh, I realized that. Riku's just too dumb to realize that. Or too scared, or something. Dunno. Haha. What's a kahuna? LOL. And I know water sports are bad for you hair, but yeah. Riku's just good at everything; you sometimes have to make sacrifices. *sage nod* I've only watched a few 'sodes of How I Met Your Mother; my brother didn't used to let me watch it. Seems like just yesterday I was thirteen and unable to watch Ugly Betty, Glee, HIMYM, The Big Bang Theory… *sigh* Thanks! Apologize used to be my favorite, and it's still the easiest to write about…**

**Superpeanutbutter: Cool! Rapunzel in KHIII! I have a feeling Sora wouldn't get along with Flynn; he doesn't seem to get along with people much. xD And Riku feels responsible for Dilan's death because, in chappie 7 (I think), he was the one that did the stupid package delivery think. And, yeh, tht particular one contained whatever made it possible for Dilan to kill himself. ^^ Go re-read it if you're confused.**

**Rayne Destiny: Yup! I didn't want Kairi to be DRUNK drunk since she's only sixteen-and-a-half and that would be creepy. And even though Riku seems like he's opening up, he's not gonna open up completely until Chapter Twenty, or something. Wait until the plot kicks in. And as for the marijuana overdose… *insert sweat drop emote here* How would I know? I don't take drugs! I've just read a lot about them… *sigh* Let's just assume for the moment that marijuana overdoses are possible. Lol. Whatever. I would go and change it, but I honestly can't be bothered. Thanks for telling me anyway, though. xxx**

**An1995616: Haha! Sometimes I wonder if I have A.D.D or something. That fish comment was beyond random. And I have a feeling Roxas won't be able to go all 'gear second/bankai/kaioken on their asses'. xD He's only sixteen-and-a-half…Wow. He's only SIXTEEN AND A HALF? WTH? Hmm…I always had a feeling he was seventeen. Oh well. *face palms* Aw yeh, forgot he and Sora were twins…**

**Reigatsu: GASP! THE DARKNESS WILL OVERTAKE HIM! NOOO! Haha random. But that's okay, because Riku 'isn't afraid of the darkness'. And, sorry, in this story Sora won't go all cheesy and happy-go-lucky. But he might have one of those annoying protag speeches—who knows? Haha! You make me LOL! And I heard that Kairi and Riku needed more insight, so there you go! BOOYAH! (Couldn't help myself.)**

**Gxmwp: IKR! I have a feeling this is all getting too depressing…don't worry, it'll be sunny and all fun and dandy once Spring comes! :D**

**AnimexLuver4ever: Okey dokey artichokey! **

**Okie chokes, now that that's done…onto the chappie!**

**About this chappie: Some RiKai and a little Bromance, or something. Dunno. Should be a cool chappie, since it coincides with chappie 14 to 15 of Addicted and chappie 11 of Angel. I'm gonna try and make Apologize less angsty. **

**Without further ado, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: DO WE HONESTLY HAVE TO SAY THE SAME THING EVERY CHAPPIE? NO, I DON'T OWN KH. DON'T SUE. **

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I get sent on ANOTHER mission._

"You are to take this, drop it at the appropriate address, and then report back here. Do NOT say a word about who you are unless ultimately necessary."

I nodded quickly and retrieved the satchel.

I had a feeling I didn't want to know what it contained.

_Tidus and I make a new deal at Shuyin's eighteenth birthday. _

"Fine. Here's the REAL deal—you tell Yuna, and I'll tell Kairi. Deal?"

Tidus paused, but eventually gave in, sighing. "Deal."

_And Kairi and I have a little…talk. _

"Do you know that feeling you get when you know something is _your_ fault, and you feel nobody else gets it?"

"When you feel like the whole world is suffocating you?" Kairi spoke up. Her eyes were a hypnotizing indigo color now. "Yeh…I get what you mean. I know how it feels to have to hide who you really are, to have to hide what you feel, just because you're afraid what everyone else will think.

_Which is pretty nice, that is, until Kairi starts getting all emotional. _

"I'm gonna go home now, 'kay?" She whimpered, wiping again at her cheeks. "Tell Shuyin and the others."

Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked away.

_And for some reason, that left me feeling guilty._

* * *

**Chapter 11: Fuck My Life**

I spent my whole Sunday worrying about Kairi. I couldn't get the picture of her flushed, wet cheeks and watery amethyst eyes out of my head.

I frequently thought of calling her up to see if she was alright, (I'd gotten her number from Rikku) but whenever I picked up the phone, my hands felt clammy and I lost the courage.

I did some homework, but most of the time I was busy thinking about Kairi and how upset she looked. What had she been trying to tell me?

"_I know how it feels when you make one stupid mistake, and you really, really want to tell someone, to just speak…"_

What had she been trying to tell me?

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I hated the feeling, not knowing what was going on. I even tried calling her up on Monday morning, but thought against it.

When I got to school, Tidus and the rest were chatting on about the new timetables, and such. Yoshida had finally gotten round to fixing them up. We didn't have Sports three days in a row anymore, which was sort of a relief.

I leaned against my car and unconsciously started looking around for Kairi. She wasn't with the Cheerleaders, and Yuna, Rikku and Lenne hadn't arrived yet; I hoped she was okay.

What if she'd taken the wrong bus and gotten lost? What if she'd been kidnapped? What if…what if there'd been a car crash?

That mere thought made me wince.

"What about you, Riku?" Wakka asked, interrupting my line of thought.

"Huh?" I replied dumbly, pushing the thought of a certain redhead in a pile of blood to the back of my mind.

Shuyin raised an eyebrow. "What's with you? You've been absent-minded all morning."

Tidus sent me a knowing glance. "Speaking of absentness…" (I rolled my eyes at that; Tidus was even more pathetic at English than me). "…what happened on Saturday?"

"Yeh you just…" Shuyin decided not to finish his sentence.

They were all looking at me with wary-slash-concerned expressions. I sighed and nervously wiped at my hair. "It was nothing. Just…I don't know. Had a lot on my mind."

They didn't dwell any further on the subject after that. They were too scared, probably.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I spent most of the hour of Math regarding Kairi out of the corner of my eye. She refused to look back at me, fiddling with her hair and keeping her eyes trained on Squall, her notebook, the board. Anything but me.

The bell rang, and she stood up, packing up monotonously. She was getting ready to leave when I couldn't take it anymore and grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

She turned to me, startled. "What?"

I tried not to think about how soft her wrist felt, or how tiny and gullible she felt in my grasp. "I…I'm sorry."

She frowned. "For what?"

"I don't know." She stared at me blankly. "Whatever I did to make you like…this."

She wavered, and then she sighed. "You didn't do anything, Riku…just forget about it, okay?"

I shook my head. "I can't forget about it. Something's wrong, Kairi, and I want to—"

"Just drop it, okay?" She snapped, yanking her arm out of my grasp and storming out of the classroom.

I've gotta admit I felt slightly hurt. I saw Tidus blinking at me with a puzzled expression, his sea-blue eyes questioning.

Pressing my lips together, I picked up my bag and stormed out of the classroom, ignoring the whispers and stares of the others in the room.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"As you all know, the Blitzball Season is approaching," Terra announced in Sports that afternoon. "I know I said we'd have Five Warm-Up Phases, but Principal Yoshida just told me that we have only five weeks until the competition begins, so we'd better get cracking."

"Finally," I muttered under my breath. I was good at Sports and everything, but the Warm-Ups started getting annoying.

"Where d'you think you're going, Kyumuke?" I noticed Sora on his way to a bench. He stopped short when he realized Terra was talking to him.

"Huh? Oh, uh, I'm not in the Blitzball team."

"And is that meant to be an excuse?"

Sora frowned, puzzled. "Yes."

Terra frowned and ordered him to do fifty push-ups for insolence. I couldn't help but snort at how ridiculous he looked. Sora had barely done any when Terra allowed him to stop and take some water, because he seemed like he was about to die from all the exertion.

"Let's just hope you're better on the pitch…" Terra muttered, face-palming.

Sora looked confused, and so did everyone else. Sora wasn't exactly Blitzball Team material, and neither were a lot of other scrawny teenagers in the class. I didn't see how they'd be any use.

Sora blinked at Terra nervously. "B-but…I'm not on the team…"

"Nonsense, everyone's on the team," Terra retorted with a frown. Everyone started murmuring, and he had to raise his voice to be heard. "Even if you have to be eternal substitutes or benchwarmers or something."

I could totally imagine Sora being a benchwarmer.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We were in the middle of doing passes when Tidus decided to bring up the 'Kairi-blowing-me-off-in-Math' subject.

"So…Riku," Tidus asked as he tossed me the ball. "What was up in Math today with Kairi?"

For some reason the memory of how soft Kairi's wrist was in my grasp went through my mind. Then I remembered how cute she looked when she was irritated. I felt the heat rising to my face. "Nothing. We just had a little scuffle, is all."

Tidus didn't let it drop. It sometimes annoyed me that we were so close, and he didn't judge me as much as my other friends. Shuyin or Wakka would've taken my word and changed subject, but Tidus—Tidus was too persistent. "Really, Riku, really? Didn't look like it…"

I didn't bother hiding it from him. I caught the ball firmly and sighed. "Well…on Saturday, you know, when she left…she left crying." Tidus' eyes widened as he took in this information, and I continued. "Yeh, well…I asked her what was up with that, and she got all crabby and said it was nothin'."

I tossed Tidus back the ball, and he caught it effortlessly. "Girls. Push the wrong buttons and they snap."

I nodded, as he chucked the ball back at me. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I had this weird feeling someone was watching me.

After having a quick discreet glance, I assumed that it was my imagination.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"You know what I think you should do?" Tidus threw his arms behind his head and laced his fingers, waiting for me to finish cleaning up after Sports. Sora wasn't there; I heard someone saying he'd been hit in the head with a Blitzball. It didn't really matter; our detention was cancelled for unknown reasons. I had a feeling my Dad had something to do with it.

I raised an eyebrow casually, slipping on my polo shirt. "What?"

"I think you should call her up," he deadpanned.

I felt heat rising to my cheeks. "N-No way."

"Why not?" Tidus asked, flashing his pearly whites at me.

"Because," I muttered under my breath, hurriedly buttoning up my shirt. My fingers were trembling and I'd gotten most of the buttons in the wrong places. I felt embarrassed because I was sure most of the others in the locker room could easily hear our conversation. I was glad Shuyin and Wakka didn't have Sports with us on Mondays anymore.

"Because what?" Tidus probed. "You know what? Let's go over to your house; you call her up, I tell you what to say."

I didn't like the idea but I had no other choice but to oblige.

I immediately started regretting the idea when I saw Kadaj in the driveway. My fingers tightened around the steering wheel.

Tidus was out of the car before I could stop him.

Slowly, I got out of the car and locked it, following after Tidus. I planned on walking straight past Kadaj and acting as if he wasn't there, but he had other plans.

"Yo," I heard Kadaj snipe.

I ignored him, and Tidus gave me a nervous glance. Then I felt Kadaj's gloved hands on my arm, and I was yanked back forcefully.

"Yo," Kadaj repeated, his eyes narrowed. "I was talkin' to you."

My heart was beating, praying for Kadaj not to make a scene in front of Tidus, who was standing looking at us in confusion-slash-shock.

Kadaj chuckled when I glared at him. "What's with the face? I just came to give you this."

He tossed me a parcel, and I was immediately wary.

Kadaj was already getting on his motorbike. "It's a reward for you hard work."

And then he started up his engine and left.

I clutched the stupid parcel, staring at it, as if willing it to burn into tiny little pieces. And then I heatedly stuffed it in my backpack.

Tidus didn't ask any questions.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Tidus hadn't been to my house often, probably only once or twice, but he already knew the house by heart. He skipped up to my room, absently whistling a tune.

My room was a mess, but Tidus didn't seem to mind, making himself comfortable on one of the beanbags lying on the ground. I dropped my backpack on my desk and sat down on my bed. "So?"

"Call her," Tidus ordered.

I tried to think of a way to get out of the situation. I decided to lie. "I-I don't know her number—"

"No worries. Yuna gave it to us last week at the party when you were outside."

I inwardly cursed as Tidus handed me his phone.

I spent as much time as possible looking for her number, not bothering using shortcuts. When I finally found it and re-copied it into my phone, I just sat there. The phone suddenly felt heavy in my hands, which once again felt clammy.

_She has no idea what she does to me, does she? _

Tidus raised an eyebrow. "Come on. Call her."

I started babbling. "What if she doesn't pick up? What if she says no? What if she—"

"Enough with the 'what ifs'!" Tidus scolded me, his eyebrows furrowing. "You've done this for a gazillion other chicks—what's so hard about one more?"

I wanted to tell him that Kairi's the first girl I've actually _liked_, but decided against it. "Yeh. Yeh you're right." I paused. "But promise me you'll ask Yuna out."

Tidus' face reddened slightly, but he nodded. "Promise."

He looked like he meant it, and I sighed before pressing 'Call'.

It rang twice, and then someone picked up at the other end of the line. "_Oh, hey…Riku_."

I felt my heartbeat speeding up as she said my name—(for some reason it sounded so much better coming from her lips)—and swallowed. Tidus motioned for me to carry on. "Um…I…I just wanted to…ask…" I was fumbling with words, and Tidus was trying hard not to laugh. I cleared my throat. The room felt stuffy all of a sudden. "How you been? Didn't see you much after Math."

"_Oh…I've been okay. You?"_

"Great." I tugged on my tie. Tidus shot me a look. "Um…about what happened…"

"_What about it?"_ Her voice had an edge to it, which I found cute and scary at the same time.

I licked my lips before continuing. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have tried to push you into telling me something you don't want to."

"_No…it's fine."_

Tidus nodded enthusiastically, as if to say: 'Get on with it!'

"…wh- which is why, as an apology, I was thinkin'…um…" I took a deep breath and sputtered out the next question. "…are you doing anything this weekend?"

It was silent on the other end, and I gripped onto the receiver anxiously. "Hello?"

And then Kairi's cheerful voice perked up. "No, I'm not doing anything this weekend. Sorry gotta go my Mom's kinda calling me gotta go now bye talk to ya later!"

And then she hung up.

I sat there motionless, listening to the rhythmic beep. Tidus must have noticed I wasn't speaking anymore. He flicked his fingers in front of my eyes. "Hello? Earth to Riku?"

"She hung up," I whispered, slowly bringing the phone away from my ear.

Tidus' brows knitted, puzzled. "I don't get it."

I shrugged, discarding my phone on my desk. "She said something about her Mom calling her. No big deal."

I don't know who I was trying to convince.

Tidus bought it, shrugging. "Oh. Well."

He was about to stand up when his phone rang. I managed to catch the caller ID: it was Yuna.

Tidus blushed. "See ya later, 'Ku." He headed out, picking up the call. "Hey Yuna?"

I smiled absently and waited for him to leave the room. When I heard the door slam, I sighed and headed over to my laptop.

While waiting for my laptop to load, I remembered the parcel Kadaj had given me. I torpidly took it out from my bookbag. Heart pounding, I gingerly opened it.

I jolted in fright when I saw what it was, dropping the parcel. Wads of munny notes tumbled out of the parcel, scattering across my bedroom floor. It had to be well over a hundred munny.

I remembered what Kadaj had said: _"A reward for your hard work."_

What hard work? And just where had Kadaj gotten the munny? I had a feeling I didn't want to know.

Silently, I retrieved all the munny and hit it deep inside my wardrobe, where I'd hoped it would stay hidden indefinitely.

* * *

**Um. Yeh. **

**Just another chappie. Nothing really happened, except for Riku trying to ask Kairi out, that is. Sorry, but Riku won't be asking her out any time soon after this. Need to get things going.**

**But things should be getting brighter from here! A lot less angst and hurt…I think. Riku's side is a bit dark, but it'll eventually be sunny!**

**Hehe. Yeh.**

**So R&R, like you guys do so well. LOL.**

**Maybe one day this'll have as many reviews as Addicted…**

**Yeh. Fat chance.**

* * *

**Sneek Peek: **

"_Say one more word and I'll start making gay couples."_

"_It's them that come to me, not the other way round."_

"_Uh, NO WAY. NO. TOUCHING."_

"_You don't _have_ to royally suck."_

* * *

**Haha. For those of you Addicted readers, you'd already know who says all these lines. **

**(Answer: Riku HAR-HAR.)**

**Well, watch out for the next installment of Apologize! **


	12. Bromance

**A/N: Omggggg. How I missed you guys, during my [not-so]-long disappearance! **

**Happy happy day! REVIEW REPLIES! **

**No VII a.k.a Karasu: Thankies! *insert heart emote here* So...how's life? **

**Rayne Destiny: Yeh, it was just a joke. ^^ Thanks anyway. :)**

**Reigatsu: Haha, I think your last review has sent Riku to rehab. He's, like, going through uber depression. Nah, just kidding. ^^ Kadaj was being creepy, but at least he's being less of a dickface than usual. xD Anyway, I never knew how much review replies meant to my dear reviewers. Aw, thank you. And just for the sake of it…BOOYAH! (MUHAHAHAHAHALOLMFAOROFL)**

**Morgead'sgirl: Yup, it's new. Well, he didn't actually get rejected; Kairi just got flustered and went crazy. Well, I would, if this uber-hot guy called me up and asked me what I was doing that weekend. Don't worry, Riku's not gonna ask Kairi out anytime soon. I think his self-esteem has just been scarred. And to be honest, I think getting Tangled on DVD was a bad idea. I am sincerely starting to hate it now. My sisters watch it EVERY SINGLE DAY. And imagine watching it in FRENCH. (Yes, they sometimes do that.) Now everyone that's come to visit my house has got the 'Tangled Fever'.**

**Gxmwp: I have a feeling that you've guessed correctly. ^^ But he's gonna go through some life-changing stuff before then. **

**ThatKidWhoSkate a.k.a Skateboard: Haha, lol. I stand corrected. And I'm still trying to figure out if 'strange' is a compliment, but whatever. xD I know it's weird, but I wanted it to be different from the usual high-school AUs. And I'm really trying to focus on relationships, but I don't want the story to move too slowly. And I took your advice on the two latest chappies of ADD and ANG, as u might have noticed. ^^**

**Roxy mccartney: OKIE CHOKEY! AND U KEEP THE REVIEWS COMIN' IN! U KNOW THE DRILL! *insert huggle emote***

**Draco Oblivion: Ah…okay. x) Anyway…I don't watch Skins etc. but the only series I've watched a bit is How I Met Your Mother, lyk u. ^^ And TBBT. And…well, you'll see how Riku took it in the chappie, I guess. But lemme just tell u he won't be asking her out anytime soon. xD **

**Anywayyyyyyyy…about the chappie: Not much RiKai-ness (and i can imagine u anti-RiKai fanpeople rejoicing in your seats right now xD), and a little bit of Bromance…but that's about it. ^^**

**Anyway, onto the chappie.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't do anything rash, like sue, or something.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I try to find out what's up with Kairi, but…well. _

"I can't forget about it. Something's wrong, Kairi, and I want to—"

"Just drop it, okay?"

_My brother's being a dickface._

He tossed me a parcel, and I was immediately wary.

Kadaj was already getting on his motorbike. "It's a reward for you hard work."

_And I 'attempt' to ask Kairi out._

"…wh- which is why, as an apology, I was thinkin'…um…" I took a deep breath and sputtered out the next question. "…are you doing anything this weekend?"

_But all she says is:_

"No, I'm not doing anything this weekend. Sorry gotta go my Mom's kinda calling me gotta go now bye talk to ya later!"

_And I'm not sure how to respond to that._

_All I know is: I'm not gonna be asking Kairi out anytime soon._

…_I think my self-esteem has just been partially DESTROYED._

* * *

**Chapter 12: Bromance**

After what happened, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be asking Kairi out anytime soon. I wasn't even sure if I was rejected or not, but it kinda irked me that she didn't let me finish. It was how ridiculous and hurt I felt after failing to ask her out that made me drop the idea, at least for a while.

Tidus called me a coward, but I made him shut up by asking him if Yuna'd said yes yet.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

SexEd on Tuesday morning was awkward, as usual. Especially since I was still sitting next to the girl that had inadvertently rejected me.

What was weird was that she looked tense and uncomfortable, squirming a little in her seat and randomly gnawing on her lip. I tried ignoring it for a while, but I eventually couldn't stop myself. "You okay?"

She jumped, and I raised an eyebrow. "Y-Yeh I'm…great."

She smiled though, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Reno is in the building!" I turned my attention to the door just as Reno flounced into the classroom, dunking his laptop on the desk. I was surprised it still worked after all it'd been through. In his other hand was a large gray bin bag, and I immediately knew what we were gonna do this Autumn Term. "Guess what we're doin' today, yo?"

He dropped the bin bag with a thump, and out of the open bag tumbled dozens of babies.

Yes. I'm not kidding.

Okay, so they weren't honest-to-God_ real_ babies, but they were pretty realistic. Ish. Reno even went through the trouble of customizing them. God knows how he did it. They were all girls, simply because male babies didn't sell as fast, I guess. Also because of an incident that got across to the Principal a few years back; when a couple of girls took the liberty of castrating one of the male dolls. Reno didn't seem to like that, and neither did Yoshida, so male dolls were out.

Anyway.

Reno grinned toothily, beginning to yell out the rehearsed phrase. "'NURTURING'. Or, as I like to say, 'How to handle the Poop-machine.'"

Most of the guys laughed, even Tidus, but I didn't. I'd heard the same thing last year. Seriously, to think Yoshida would be evil enough to put me through TWO years of SexEd.

People from the Cheer Team started going to join their Blitz Team boyfriends, and everyone else seemed to take the liberty to do the same. Reno had other ideas. "Wait a minute! I'm making the couples here, yo!"

I was immediately skeptical. (Last year we'd been allowed to choose who we'd be paired with. I'd chosen some girl with boobs, and we'd gotten along fine. It actually resulted in a sort-of relationship, which lasted barely two weeks. What? I get bored easily.)

Anyway, where was I before I ever-so-rudely interrupted myself? Ah yes, in SexEd, with Reno designating the teams for our term assignment.

Yuna was paired with Tidus (lucky chappy), Lenne was paired with Balthier (a dude on the Blitz Team), Rikku was paired with Zidane...

And for some reason, the douchebag Reno managed to pair the whole class before he managed to pair me, Sora, Kairi, Namine, Roxas, and Fang.

I immediately feared the worst.

"Hmm…" Reno scratched his invisible beard. "I got it! Riku, you go with Fang; Namine goes with Sora, and Kairi goes with Roxas."

_Yup. The worst all right._

"Wh-what?" Kairi exclaimed, clearly not happy with the arrangements.

I was enraged. "But I can't be paired with _her_?"

The class sniggered, and Fang struggled not to show her disappointment. Aw. How sad for her.

"Yeah!" Sora joined in. "The teams aren't fair!"

Reno frowned, giving us an annoyed glare. "Say one more word and I'll start making gay couples."

I immediately shut up, knowing that if I didn't Reno would evidently pair me with Sora. And I really didn't want any of those gay rumors going around again. The year before, I'd had to deal with rumors about Wakka and I hooking up behind the bleachers. I didn't even get how something that ridiculously disgusting even started circulating in the first place.

Reno told everyone to join their partner and began handing out our babies. Fang appeared next to me, plopping her over-tanned body on the seat that was meant to be Kairi's. As soon as I glanced at her, she flicked some hair over her shoulder in a completely unnatural gesture that had most likely been practiced to death in front of her bathroom mirror. "Hey, Riku."

I wasn't in the mood for greeting her back, and instead idly looked off at Tidus' table. He was blushing like hell as Yuna inspected their baby, which, unsurprisingly, had dark-blonde hair and mismatched eyes. (Reno _had _to have pre-thought this lesson for him to be THAT accurate.)

He plunked our baby down on the desk. It had silver hair and dark hazel eyes. I hated it already. "What the hell, Reno?"

Reno just winked and stuck out his tongue at me, leaving me feeling irritated. I was busy glaring at my—(I didn't dare use the word 'our' when Fang was involved; ugh)—baby when Fang leaned over on her elbows. Her 'exotic' brown hair was brushing uncomfortable against my right bicep. "So…what're we naming it?"

"_We _aren't naming it anything," I muttered brusquely.

Fang threw her head back and laughed—annoying, rhythmic laughter that had the exact opposite effect of Kairi's. I didn't know why, but it made me want to punch her. "Don't be silly. We have to give it a name; it's part of the assignment."

"Since when?"

"I dunno, but I just thought it'd be logical to give it a name." Fang jutted her shoulders up in a totally unnatural way and feigned boredom. "Stupid assignment's totally pointless, but whatever." She tilted her head sideways and licked her lips in thought. "So…what about Fangiku?"

"That's just ridiculous."

She laughed stupidly again. "Yeh, I know. Just kidding." She had the audacity to make her manicured fingers walk up and down my arm, which was really starting to tick me off.

Anyway, Fang gave me an artificial, lipstick-coated smile. "Any suggestions?"

"Nah, I was thinking of not giving the baby a name and leaving it at that." The bell rang just on cue, and I got up, stuffing Baby in my bookbag.

Fang flicked at her hair again as she stood up, standing awkwardly as if trying to make me stare at her chest. "So, er, maybe we could, like…meet up after school or—?"

I had already started shaking my head before she finished her sentence. "No thanks."

"O-Okay…on weekends, then?"

I didn't bother answering and decided to outright ignore her, heading over to Sora's table. Sora was with his new baby—its hair was a dark black color, kinda like Tifa's, and he had oddly amber eyes. It looked creepy, but Sora seemed to be taking care of it in a totally motherly way—or fatherly in his case.

"I can't believe this counts as fifty percent of our whole SexEd grade!" I groaned, as I tried for the umpteenth time to bury the stupid doll in my backpack.

"What did you name yours?" Kairi asked curiously.

"Baby," I replied bluntly, frowning. "What's the point? Not like it matters."

Kairi tittered, and Sora spoke up. "Didn't you do this last year?"

"Uh-huh."

"He lost the fifty percent cause he 'accidentally' lost Baby in the garbage." Tidus chuckled, rolling his eyes as he appeared next to me.

Sadly to say, this was true. I'd tried—I'd _really tried_—to keep Baby without destroying it. But for some reason Baby seemed to be programmed to cry whenever I was in the middle of a make-out session with my girlfriend, or whenever I was on the phone, which was extremely embarrassing. It was on one night when I came back late after doing one of Kadaj's 'errands' and heard the stupid thing's ringing cry that I finally lost it and threw it in the trash.

I wasn't exactly happy with Tidus for disclosing this information, and I tackled him to the ground to make him shut up, Sora and Kairi laughing in unison at our antiques.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Dad finally decided to get the move on and start practicing the choreography to the Alliance's entrance scene, which is basically a bunch of badass walking and pushing people around. It apparently took a lot out of someone because Tidus started sweating halfway through.

Let me break it down for you. The Alliance, who were supposed to be a bunch of Nobodies who served as the secondary antags in the play, were played by Wakka, Hope, Balthier, Tidus, Yuna, Shuyin, Roxas, Snow, Zidane, Sazh (a black senior who was in Wakka's class who paraded the school showing off his pet Chocobo that hid in his afro), Demyx (some loner I saw sometimes hanging out at the counter and complaining about why they put the corn in the chili), and a three dudes from the Blitz Team. Altogether they made up twelve guys and one girl.

"That's sexist," Yuna snapped, feeling pretty awkward in the midst of twelve other guys, I guess.

Dad just gave her a glance, the same one anyone would give to a pest on their trousers. "I don't care. It's in the script. Can't question it."

He failed to mention that he'd repeatedly changed the script, ripping wads and wads out of it and adding, well, lots of stuff that clearly wouldn't please Yoshida.

I yawned and glanced over at Sora, who was standing next to me. He was looking off into space (—well, I assumed he was looking into space; you never know what people are actually looking at when they're staring at nothing, so I assumed he was having a staring contest with a dust particle, or something—) looking pretty dumb. It was then that I noticed how weird his hair was. Okay, so I'd known for some time that his hair royally sucked and that I would kill myself if I ever ended up with hair like that, but…well. What I meant was, I suddenly noticed how…how _unique _his hair was. It was bouncy and spiky, so spiky that the tips were clean-cut and perfect-looking. The weird thing was that he didn't look like he used hair gel. I mean, it was totally natural-looking. I found that sort of…cool.

For some reason I had this memory of when I was in sophomore year, the year of the Shepherd's Pie incident, and he had been in the shower after Sports, rinsing down his lanky body and looking sort-of out of place. Me and the guys had played a prank on him and turned up the heating when he wasn't looking, which eventually resulted in him leaping about like a frog and screaming.

Now you're probably wondering why I'm telling you about this. The reason is because I had just remembered that, while all this had been going on, Sora's hair had still been the bouncy, thorny mess it was up to this day.

And for some reason that intrigued me. In a totally non-gay way.

"What?" I heard the Bitchiest bitch in Bitch History shriek. "I can't be that…that THING!"

Dad had just showing her the latest Disney villain he'd added to the plot, and frowned when she didn't show appreciation. Thankfully, Dad wasn't in one of his extremely bad moods, so he didn't do anything rash, like stab her with his five-foot-long sword. (Don't ask me how he's allowed to carry that around campus; he just _is_.)

"Well I don't care. You're Maleficent and that's final. She's vital to the plot; without her, Riku wouldn't be going anywhere."

"What?" Fang had that annoyingly hopeful tone in her voice, though she tried to hide it.

Dad looked pretty bored. "You're Riku's mentor, in a way. You're responsible for his conversion to the darkness. That's the whole purpose of _Act Four, Scene Two_, idiot.

Fang didn't seem to mind that she'd just been insulted, and instead turned my way with a toss of her stupid mammoth head and waved her snaky tan fingers at me.

I groaned in sheer annoyance. When would she get the hint? I DIDN'T like her. In no line of imagination did I see myself ever going out with her again. I don't know why, but after the 'shag me' incident the previous year, I developed some kind of profound hatred for her. And it kind of stuck.

"What?" I heard someone next to me ask. It was Sora, raising an eyebrow.

I didn't get why he was talking to me, seeing as we were sort of enemies at war. But I was bored, and I just felt like talking to someone. "I don't know if you heard, but Fang and I used to be going out."

Sora rolled his eyes. "You sure do get around."

I shrugged. "It's them that come to me, not the other way round." _Ugh. I sound like such a man-whore._

"Mm-hmm."

I sighed and decided to continue my story. "Anyway, I broke up with Fang last year, but she doesn't seem to have gotten over it." He raised an eyebrow curiously, as if he still hadn't gotten it. "She thinks I'm still not over her."

He nodded, but it was obvious he didn't understand. "Why did you go out with her in the first place?"

Wow. I never really thought about that. I sincerely didn't know. "I…I don't know. To make myself look good, I guess. She's the head cheerleader, Sora—"

"To make yourself look good, huh?" He cut in, looking slightly irked. "So I guess breaking up with Fang made yourself look good too, huh?"

I didn't get what was wrong with him. He didn't understand anything; he'd never been in a relationship with anyone. At least that's what I presumed. He just didn't look like the kind of guy that girls would actually…like. Kairi was the first girl I'd seen who didn't scream at the sight of Sora. "You don't understand—"

"I mean, what's the point of going out with a girl you never even liked?" Sora persisted. "How do you know Fang doesn't actually feel something for you?"

I didn't really know how to answer that. Fang and I…we'd just been a stupid high-school fling, is all. It was some of the guys on the Blitz team that recommended her. She was hot, had a pretty high libido, and…well. She had boobs and legs, and I guess that qualified as 'girlfriend' material.

Our relationship had lasted, like, four months, which was pretty long. I'd never really thought about whether she actually liked me. She did cry when we broke up, but I thought it was just because she'd missed out on having sex with me or something.

I had never really, you know, _liked _any girl apart from Kairi. But I wasn't about to explain that to Sora, and instead muttered: "That's…that's not my problem."

"So what you're saying is that you don't care as long as it doesn't affect you?"

I said nothing.

"I bet this whole thing going on between you and Kairi is just to make you look good too, right?"

That was when I snapped. He was really starting to bug me. _No one _had the permission to get under my skin unless authorized, and Sora had totally ignored that rule. "Will you just quit it?"

Turns out I said that louder than I thought I had said it, and it ended up catching the attention of everyone in the hall.

"Yes, Riku?" Dad muttered, giving me that glare he gives to the dishwasher when the plates come out filthy. "Something you want to share with the rest of the class?"

I sighed and played along. "Nope."

Dad frowned, and, if anything, his glare got darker. "Something you don't like about this play?"

I had no idea what was going on. "I never said—"

"You and Sora are going stay here after class and practice the Beach scene," Dad grumbled convincingly. "It has to be perfect for tomorrow. Or else."

I was about to say something, but the bell rang, drowning out my objection. I didn't get what was up with my Dad. He usually just did stuff like that to act as if he was treating everyone equally, to act as if I wasn't his son. He never actually, you know. Punished me. It just wasn't like him to punish me.

Then I figured something must have pissed him off quite bad to leave him acting…well, fucked up.

"Thanks a lot, Sora," I muttered, glaring at him as we headed to the CD player. "Because you wouldn't shut up—"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who yelled," he shrugged, as if that was enough. I rolled my eyes, to fed up to even speak to him. I saw Kairi give us each a wave before she left with the girls. I smiled and I suppose I must have stooped down to the level of lovesick sighing. Thing was, I wasn't the only one.

"She's so pretty…" I heard Sora mumble.

Um. O-kay. "Uh. Right." Like he stood a chance.

I picked up the 'KINGDOM HEARTS—THE PLAY Soundtrack' on the cover and flipped it over. I scanned the list of songs, scoffing. "Seriously? I'm amazed he didn't put Justin Bieber in this thing."

And I was, really. My dad, would you believe it, actually _liked _the annoying pubescent kid. He even suggested I go to Beiber's concert, and that I should follow in his footsteps and become an international singing sensation. I quickly shot that idea down, though. I wasn't about to let my reputation get shattered into tiny embarrassing little pieces just so I could live my—or in this case, my _Dad's_—dream.

I found the appropriate track—'Britney' by Busted—and sighed when I heard the annoying interlude. I'd heard the song so many times; Dad had a little 'boy band' phase a while back, and he got everything from Westlife to The N'Sync.

"Busted," Sora murmured, apparently recognizing the song.

I nodded, sighing. "Let's get this over with."

Sora started singing, and then when it was my turn I continued. And then, when his cue came in, he shook his head. "Wait-wait-wait, you're getting it all wrong."

"What is it now?" I sighed, exasperated.

"You're pushing yourself too hard," Sora said, sounding preachy. "You've gotta relax and let your voice flow by itself."

"Uh, right." I couldn't believe this stupid dick was giving me a lecture on _singing_. As if I didn't already know enough about that. "I totally understand what you just said."

He glared at me, pouting cutely. (I did _not _just say that.). "I know what I'm talking about."

"I noticed." I raised an eyebrow. "What do _you_ know about singing? I got the main role last time—"

"I still don't get how that was possible," Sora muttered under his breath. Shocked, I punched him on the arm to shut him up. "Ow! That hurt…"

I rolled my eyes and continued singing anyway, and Sora switched off the radio. I glared at him. He was starting to royally piss me off. "There you go again. You have to know when and where to hold your breath, Riku. You're all over the place."

I rolled my eyes. "Aw, shut up, you—"

Before I knew it, Sora had grabbed my arm and was placing it somewhere around my stomach area. I felt…I felt violated, to say the least.

"You see that? That's your diaphragm." Sora looked at me with a sickly sweet smile. "You have to learn how to sing from there. Well, all singing is from the diaphragm, because all breathing is from the diaphragm." He cleared his throat. "What you're doing is taking too deep breaths, which means your voice is getting stuck somewhere around here…" He motioned to my neck area. "…and so your voice sounds forced, and you get exhausted easily. You need to take a relaxed and open breath."

_What. The. Crap. _"What're you—"

"An open breath makes the diaphragm go lower, which helps take pressure off the throat and relax it. Well, basically you're doing the opposite."

I couldn't believe he was lecturing me. I cleared my throat and glared at him. "Right. Um…can you let go of my hand now?"

He muttered a sorry and let go of my hand. "Try it out?"

I checked to see if he was serious, and then I sighed. "Okay. Relax. Got it."

I managed to do the stupid 'Sing from my Diaphragm' thing in three tries. Sora gave a big unmanly 'YAY!' and proceeded to try and hug me. Astonished, I blurted out a: "Uh, NO WAY. NO. TOUCHING."

Sora stopped, and chuckled nervously. "Uh, sorry. Really happy that my teaching methods worked, and all."

"You're weird."

"So they say."

I couldn't help but chuckle. But, honestly, I was amazed how much he knew about all that…well, singing crap. "Who taught you all that…singing stuff?"

Sora paused in thought, squinting his eyes as if trying to remember. "I'm…not really sure. I think it was my older brother…can't remember."

"You…got an older brother?" I probed, trying to look nonchalant. Actually I did care, for some unknown reason. I always had this feeling that Sora was adopted, or something.

"Two, actually," he mumbled. "One of them's my halfbrother."

I nodded, absent-mindedly tapping a tune on the table, and I had this feeling that I could tell him about my family and not feel ashamed. Don't ask why; I really don't know. "I…I've got three. Triplets, actually."

"Um. Wow." He smiled warmly. "That's…weird. Must get annoying."

I didn't really know what to say to that. To tell you the truth, at that moment I felt kind of…well, jealous. Sora's brothers obviously loved him enough to teach him how to sing, and all that. He had three brothers, like me, but his brothers most likely didn't send him around the Islands on reckless 'missions' just for the sake of money. His brothers weren't dealers or anything like that.

His brothers didn't hate him enough to repeatedly try to kill him.

After wracking my brains for something to say in reply, I finally took a deep breath and settled on: "Tell me about it."

Hopefully he didn't notice how shaky my voice was as I said that.

* * *

**YES! GOT THIS UP BEFORE I GO BACK TO THE HELLHOLE THAT WE ALL CALL SCHOOL. **

**So annoying. Got a Monday off cause it's Easter. Okay, so I'm happy and all, but what the hell is up with Easter, though? Apart from the religion factor, I don't celebrate Easter cause it doesn't make sense. What the hell is up with the eggs and the bunnies and stuff? What does all THAT have to do with Jesus being resurrected?**

**And plus, I never remember Jesus telling us 'YO. KEEP REMEMBERING ME AFTER MY DEATH, AND DON'T STOP URSELF IF U HAFTA ADD SOME PAGAN STUFF TO FURNISH IT WHEN U DO. TOTALLY RAD Y'ALL.'**

**Haha. **

**Okay, so that wasn't even funny, but whatever.**

**Brain's running a little dry. **

* * *

_**Sneek Peek: **_

"_You're getting it all wrong."_

"_You don't _have_ to royally suck_."

"_Well…that's new."_

* * *

**Meh. Well, be expecting stuff like that. Dunno really, maybe we'll even get into ADD chappie 17. Can't guarantee anything. **

**Wish me luck, as I am returning into the Realm of Darkness starting eight-thirty tomorrow morning. If I lose my heart…well, just know I loved you guys. XXXX**

**Shall update as soon as possible, depending on how much homework I got left! **

**Well, you know…R&R**


	13. Obsession

**A/N: OMG. OMGOMGOMG. How long has it been since my last update? It feels like FOREVER. Sorry for the not-so-late-yet-terribly-late-for-me update. **

**Roxy mccartney: Thanks! My mini-Keyblade wielder helped me get through my Spanish test! And finish my French poem! *huggles* And sorry for the SoRiku-ness…had to put it in there for the fans who do like it. I don't like it either, but some things just have to be done, right?**

**Rayne Destiny: I love writing about their bromance. There's something about it that's so…so bromance-y. And sorry about the Easter thing. I had a little spaz attack about Easter cause the bunnies were really starting to get on my nerves. If I could eliminate one holiday, it would be Christmas, since my family doesn't do it, and also because it's not religious anymore. I mean, almost every holiday that claims to be religious has some kind of pagan root in it, which pretty much pisses me off. I mean, since when did Santa Claus ever have to do with Jesus' birth? :/ Anyway, I'd better stop dissing holidays now. xD**

**Skateboard (abbreviated cause I have problems writing it xD): Thnx for the advice! And Riku doesn't really know what his relationship with Sora **_**is **_**atm…which sucks. Kinda. And I'll be sure to check out ur fanfic-whatever-it-is whenever it comes out! **

**Gxmwp: =D**

**Morgead'sgirl: Thanks! **

**ElleGal: Yup, he is! Though that'll change, of course. **

**Reigatsu: LOLOLOLOLOL. I think it's awesome that you have manliness problems—Sora does too! Now you can relate to him! (Nah, jokes. Though it isn't something weird to act like a girl sometimes; I'm said to act like a boy a lot of the time. I wear my brothers old stuff when I feel like it, am almost always wearing Converse, hardly ever wear skirts unless completely necessary, wear close to no make-up, wear baggy jeans most of the time and I'm said to walk and eat like a guy. Which is pretty insulting.) Anyway, Sora and Riku will become friends…whenever I feel like it…right now their on the 'I-kinda-really-hate-you-but-let's-tell-each-other-something-random-about-our-lives-anyway' stage. And I get the same tingly feeling when I see your reviews! And I think Riku feels sorry for being an uber-douchebag to Sora or something. I mean, Sora would understand what it's like to be punched around, since Riku's been bullying Sora since freshman year. And maybe even earlier, though not as intensely. MORALE BOOSTER FTW! I LUFFFFF YOU! And if you weren't on the other end of cyberspace and if I actually knew your religion, appearance, race and gender (xD), I'd totally kiss you rite now! *sends cyberkiss anyway because I'm like that* And hurry up with your story! I want to see where it goes…I could probably Beta-read for you or give you tips etc…well, enjoy the chappie! And (I can't resist it) BOOYAH TO YOU TOO! (That sounded way better in my head.)**

**Draco Oblivion: Riku's sexual status is 'undetermined'. Which makes sense. But I think it'll be pretty obvious that he isn't gay in this chappie, since I don't think he's ever had a boner for a guy…GAH. Anywho…BROMANCE! AWESOMENESS! I can hear the fangirls having spaz attacks at the SoRiku explosion in the last chappie…don't worry, the RiKai fangirls will have some fun in this chappie. Haha. And sorry for the random Easter outburst—the bunnies were getting on my nerves. And, seeing that I am on a 'no chocolate' diet (for like a year now), I specifically detest seeing the chocolate eggs everywhere. And after I researched the holiday (because I don't celebrate anything unless it has Biblical grounds and/or doesn't violate and Biblical principles and/or doesn't have pagan origins…I'm weird like that xD), I found out that the eggs and bunnies represent fertility, and they were seen around some pagan god or something. Meh. And I also don't remember Jesus telling us to share eggs and chocolate and invent a fictional Easter Bunny to commemorate his resurrection. :P All I remember him saying was 'go preach' or something…but whatever. But, I must say, bunnies are cute. Especially the 'Rabbidz'. ^^**

**Superpeanutbutter: Yeh…Riku has his own humorous side. He's not all angst and tears and 'I'm too sexy for myself'. And poor Fang…Riku's an ASSHOLE. Excuse my language. Anyway, I just wanted Sephiroth to like something unexpected, and JB was the first thing that came to mind. And as for the 'pouting cutely'…I can just say that Riku doesn't do well in Creative Writing and that was the first adjective he could think of. I don't know. Maybe he is gay. I mean, first their's the obsession of his hair, and then their's the obsession of SORA'S hair, and then their's the weird description of Sora's mouth…yanno, I'm starting to doubt myself. And I'm the author. Whatever. Anyway, enjoy the chappie!**

**Well! About this chappie: Uhhh…a little RiKai, and then some other random angsty stuff and yeh…you know, I think I should quit this 'about this chappie' thing because I usually have no idea what's gonna be in it. Whatever. You'll see.**

**Disclaimer: No, but may Kingdom Hearts shine down on the real owners of KH and the whole team who made KH exist in the first place. You rock guys, and I think everyone agrees with me when I say that I hope the saga continues indefinitely! (But hurry up with KHIII, 'kay?)**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_And if you thought my life couldn't get any worse…_

"'How to handle the Poop-machine'! Riku, you go with Fang…"

_Yeh. With FANG. Because God must hate me. I even get SORA reprimanding me…_

"What's the point of going out with a girl you never even liked?"

"Will you just quit it?"

_Dad's got some issues, apparently…_

It just wasn't like him to punish me. I figured something must have pissed him off quite bad to leave him acting…well, fucked up.

_And I get SINGING LESSONS from the Hedgehog—I mean, Sora._

"An open breath makes the diaphragm go lower, which helps take pressure off the throat and relax it. Well, basically you're doing the opposite."

_Don't ask what he means by that, I really don't know. But I do find out stuff about Sora, like how he's got two older brothers. _

_And, for some reason, he gives off this aura…this welcoming aura. Like, I can tell him anything and not be ashamed._

_But, yeh, we're enemies at war. _

_Like that's ever gonna happen._

* * *

**Chapter 13: Obsession**

Dad eventually let us go, giving us late passes to give to Rinoa when we got there. I noticed his jaw was clenched and he looked a lot less at ease than usual, but I didn't say anything on the subject. I had a feeling he was going to snap if I asked what was wrong—and plus Sora was there.

We got to Physics, (after disposing Baby in my locker for the meantime), and as soon as Sora sat down next to Kairi, she enveloped him in a too-close-for-comfort bear hug. I've gotta admit; it kind of hurt to see her cuddling _him_, my worst enemy.

I felt a wave of anger coming on, but held it in as I went to sit down at my desk. There was a microscope on it, along with a paper with words on it. I assumed it was our project. Everyone else had started working, and I remembered that MY lab partner was busy fraternizing with HIM.

Tidus gave me a pointed look, but I ignored him. Seconds later, I felt my phone vibrate and saw a text message from nobody else but Tidus.

'_Looks lyk u got some competition man.'_

That message, along with the sound of Sora's laughter and Kairi's animated chatting across the room, made me snap. I stood up and marched over to their table, not really caring that she was in the middle of talking. "Uh, Kairi?"

She turned around, and I swear all my anger died at that exact moment. Her eyes were glittering—a kaleidoscope of purples and blues. "Huh?"

_Why? Why is it that whenever you look at me everything else goes away? What the heck is wrong with me?_

I managed to pull myself together and give her what I hoped was one of my trademark smiles. "We're lab partners, remember? And, uh, we gotta do the microscope thing…"

"Oh!" Kairi nodded briskly, glancing at Sora. "Oh yeh okay."

She followed me to the table, and we started on our lab report. What we basically had to do was observe some kind of microbe/molecule/bacteria-thing (I'd missed ten minutes of the lesson). With the microscope.

Well, me and Mr. Microscope weren't exactly buddies. I never really understood how the thing worked, and I usually always got whoever was my lab partner to do it for me. But now the atmosphere was all wrong and awkward, and I didn't want Kairi to think I was stupid. She was busy writing the lap report already.

After several tries at making it work (ending up with nothing but some blurred view), Kairi finally intervened. "You're getting it all wrong."

By now I was pretty pissed with the microscope, and I replied with gritted teeth. "What?"

"You have to do it like this…"

I froze as she placed her hands on mine. It was like some kind of weird electric shock had passed through them. A sort of…_nice _electric shock. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. All of a sudden my mind went blank and all that was running through my head was 'Kairi's touching me. KAIRI IS TOUCHING ME.' Over and over and over again.

And then Kairi said: "All done."

Her hands left mine, and the arousing feeling disappeared. I was back in the Phys/Chem lab, sitting at my desk with Kairi and supposed to be doing the lab assignment.

Instead I was staring at Kairi. I didn't even notice I was staring until she started touching her hair self-consciously. "Is…is there something wrong?"

_Why do girls always ask that? Why? There is NOTHING wrong, kitten. How could you EVER think ANYTHING can be wrong with you? You're, like, PERFECT. With you, 'wrong' doesn't EXIST—_

Rinoa interrupted my internal rant."You guys done?"

Thankfully Kairi replied, because I hadn't exactly finished unscrambling my thoughts. "Yup!"

"Excellent," Rinoa acclaimed, giving us an A+. Kairi had apparently already done the lap report, and she beamed prettily at Rinoa before she left.

I didn't regain control of my speech until the bell rang.

_You have no idea what you do to me, do you? _

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Okay let's get a move on people! Today's Judgment Day—today your all gonna be evaluated, and we'll see who's in and who's out!"

Sports for me was, as usual, a breeze. It was pretty obvious the team was useless without me on the team, so I didn't really need to do much since I knew I'd made the team already.

When it was time to move on to the running part of the evaluation, I spotted Sora who, unsurprisingly, was _walking_ instead of actually doing what we were supposed to i.e. running. Curious, I fell into step beside him, trying hard not to run too fast. "What's up with you? You're even sloppier than usual."

Sora rolled his eyes, looking nonchalant. "I can't be bothered."

Um. Okay. "Can't be bothered?"

"Yeh. I know I royally suck, so what's the point?" He wiped at his fringe; he was starting to sweat already and he was hardly moving. He was also starting to wheeze, which was just pathetic.

I shook my head as we turned the corner, finding the whole self-pity thing annoying. "You don't _have _to royally suck. If you actually tried, you might be able to make the midfielder, or something." Okay, so I knew that was highly unlikely, but…well. Striking friendly conversation, I guess.

Sora shook his head, voicing out my thoughts. He didn't look like he believed me either. "I think…the only player…I'll end up as…is the benchwarmer."

Freakily enough, he did end up as a Benchwarmer.

I found this hilarious.

"Being a Benchwarmer's a very important job," Terra announced, smiling at Sora encouragingly. "Especially in the cold season. It's your job to make sure there's enough towels, to make sure there's enough jerseys, and to generally keep their benches warmed."

Everyone sniggered. Sora looked like he wanted to shoot himself.

"Yay," he muttered.

Terra frowned, looking serious all of a sudden. "It's a serious task, Sora. If one of the players catches a cold and can't play, it'll be all your fault."

He sighed. "Understood."

"Good." He ruffled Sora's hair and turned to the rest of the class. "Okay, hit the showers everyone. We'll start serious training on Monday."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Fang continued stalking me after school.

"How about Tristan? Or Flynn? Or Orlando Bloom?"

Ignoring her was starting not to work. She wasn't giving up on me, I realized. The baby names were just getting ridiculous.

Thankfully, I had almost reached my car.

"Aw, come _on_, Riku…" Fang complained. "You know parental love counts in the assignment, right? You know we can't name the baby 'Baby'…it sounds ridiculous."

_Yeh. Like 'Jack Sparrow' didn't sound ridiculous. _"Sounds just fine to me."

I arrived at my car and slid into my seat, discarding my bookbag at the back seat. Before I could blink, Fang had slithered her way into the passenger's seat, smiling saccharinely.

I sighed despairingly. "Fang…"

"Riku…" She whined, obviously liking this. I remembered we used to always play this whining game when we were dating, and gave myself a virtual facepalm.

I sighed—heavier this time. "Fang, get out of my car."

"No. Not until you give our baby a name."

I paused, thinking. And then I got it. "Fine. We'll call it Penis. You happy?"

Fang frowned dejectedly. "No…that's…that's not the real reason I'm here."

I rolled my eyes. "Then what is it then? I've gotta get going home—"

"Riku, I love you."

_Whoa. I was totally not expecting that._

"Um. N-No you don't."

"I _do_!" Fang screamed, grabbing onto the front of my shirt. "I l-love you Riku! I always have—"

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Her grip on my shirt loosened and she looked at me with this hurt, dejected expression on her face. "Look, Fang," I said when my laughter had died down. "You _can't_ love me. We never connected anyway. You more than anyone should know that."

Fang's fists clenched. "I said I was sorry, Riku! What happened that night—it was all a big mistake, and I've learned from my mistakes—"

"Fang. Stop trying." I gave her a cold glare. She was really starting to get on my nerves. "No matter what you say, I'll never…"

My words dwindled away when I saw the extreme hurt scribbled all over her face. Now, usually I wouldn't have given a flying fuck about anything that had to do with Fang, but, for some reason, Sora's words plagued me.

"_What's the point of going out with a girl you never even liked? How do you know Fang doesn't actually feel something for you?"_

And it was right then, right there, that I got it. I got what he meant. I got why Shuyin always frowned whenever I announced I had a new girlfriend. I got why Tidus was thoroughly pissed off when I asked Yuna out (apart for the having-a-massive-crush-on-her factor). I got why Sora brought Kairi into the conversation.

Girls actually had _feelings_. Feelings I usually ignored.

Girls to me were like shoes—wear a pair until I get tired of them, changed regularly. I'd never actually shared anything in common with any of the girls I'd gotten past second base with. Our conversations were usually nonexistent, and awkward silences were filled with snogging. Which was why, when I got bored, I usually moved on to the next girl.

Sora must have figured that's what I was thinking of doing to Kairi. Which was probably why he was totally against me going near Kairi. It was evident in his voice.

As I saw Fang sitting there, staring at me with hopeful, pleading hazel eyes, I realized what I was doing. Fang had just admitted she loved me, and I was cruelly shutting her down like it was the most natural thing to do. Just because she begged me for sex a year before, and I rejected her offer. I toyed with her feelings, and this was how she ended up—a hopeless wreck.

For the first time since sophomore year, I felt sorry for Fang.

Which was why I decided to rearrange my sentence. "Um…I mean…I'm sorry, Fang, but…I just don't feel that way. Alright?" I paused, placing my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. It felt awkward, being all caring and comforting and all, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. I wasn't used to this, so my speech was a little ragged. "I'm sorry for being a douchebag about all this…I really am." I reached up and brushed away some of her hair from her eyes. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. "There's…there's someone out there who's…who's meant for you…but it's not me."

It was quiet for a while, and then she smiled. "Thanks. Thank you, Riku."

And then she hugged me, and started crying on my shoulder, which wasn't exactly the response I was hoping for.

But it was worth it, because after that day, Fang and I became…well. I suppose you could say we were friends.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Since the timetables had finally been sorted out, we now had to choose two foreign languages.

I chose Spanish and Chinese.

Spanish because I'd already done it the previous year, and Chinese because it was hilarious to pretend we didn't know anything to piss Saïx off.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

On Thursday, Dad finally decided to get the move on and quit mulling over the choreography. We had to start practicing some stupid act where I turned evil, but the good part was that I got to sing 'Not Afraid' by Eminem. And the even better part was that Dad let me sing it uncensored.

Kairi sang 'Going Under' by Evanescence, some emo band I rarely listened to. For some reason, when she sang I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was doing it _again_. Being all…pretty and mind-controlling and…whatever she always did.

I must have been drooling or something because Tidus had to punch me in the arm to snap me out of my trance.

Sora had to sing 'More' by Usher, which totally did not suit him, but he sang it pretty well, which surprised me.

After each of us did a practice run on each of our songs, we were ordered to go over the act. We had gotten right up until the part where Kairi/Yuuki is being captured by the darkness or something when the double doors swung open and in walked…

…Roxas. A.k.a The Weird Goth Kid Who Hangs In The Bike Park After School.

Except now he looked a lot less emo and a lot more…normal.

"Sorry I'm late," Roxas grumbled, mussing up his hair.

Dad grumbled dismissively, gesturing to the blonde weirdo chick with his hands. "Whatever. Get working on your duet with Namine."

As soon as he was out of hearing range, all the girls started bubbling with excitement. I even heard some of the cheerleaders asking who the new 'hottie' was.

Tidus whistled. "Well…that's new."

I unconsciously glanced over at Sora, who was having some kind of telepathic convo with Kairi, and frowned.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

After a long, tiring week of school, I decided that I needed a hard-earned visit to 7th Heaven. After changing out of my uniform and into a suitable non-hideous outfit, I headed over to the bar. It was practically empty since it was a Friday—which meant that the 7th Heaven became a 21-and-over club from five o'clock.

Tifa was there, cleaning the tables as usual. She grinned when she saw me. "Riku! Where you been, RiRi? I was starting to think you'd ran off with some chick again and forgotten about me!"

I chuckled, sinking my hands into my pockets, and shrugged. "Uh, yanno…school, parties, friends…so hard to keep up with everything these days."

Tifa shook her head and handed me a cloth. "Help me out here, will you?" I nodded and started cleaning one of the booths. "So…what about that girl you told me about?" I froze. "Kairi, wasn't it? You win your bet?"

It took me some time to figure out how to answer. "Uh…not exactly…"

"You haven't asked her out?" She gave me an incredulous look. "Riku Harada, for the first time in history, did _not_ ask a girl out."

I sighed. "Tiff…you don't get it…"

"You're right; I don't. Tell me more."

I licked my lips, thinking of where to start. "Um…well…you see…it's pretty weird but…I just…I just _can't_. I don't know why; it's, like, whenever I want to ask her I get all nervous and I have that stupid churning feeling in my stomach and I suddenly badly need to pee." I groaned. "It's so annoying. I mean, for other girls this never happened, but for Kairi—"

"I think I know what's happening." Tifa smirked, discarding her duster on the table. "Someone's fallen in love."

Ugh. Seriously. I had to look away to hide my blush. "What the hell? I barely know this chick! I mean, she's in our group and everything, we talk sometimes but…I'm not…in _l-love _with her or anything…"

"Then you have a crush on her."

I scrubbed harder. "…it's hard to admit it but…yeh, I guess I do."

Tifa shrugged. "Then ask her out."

"I already _told_ you, Tiff, I TRIED. She has some kind of peculiar effect on me and—"

"Riku." The black-haired bartender sighed, taking the cloth from my hands and dumping it in the bin. She walked over to me, looking me in the eyes. She was shorter than me, but tall enough not to have to strain her neck when she looked at me. "Riku, you're the hottest guy in school—well, according to you at least. You've been out with tons of girls. I know you say this girl's harder…but she might like you as well, yanno. I mean…you are a hot piece of eye-candy." She winked at me, and for some reason the fact that a nearly-forty-year-old was complementing me on my looks didn't freak me out. Probably because of how close I was to Tifa. She patted me on the head. "Look, Riku…I know you say you've tried…but you just gotta keep trying. You'll eventually succeed and then…" She paused. "Well. Whoever this girl is, she'd have to be crazy to say no to YOU."

I smiled, cheered up but still unsure. "Thanks, Tiff. I'll…take your advice."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Okay, well I did try to take her advice. Really.

Over the next two weeks, several opportunities to ask Kairi out showed themselves, but I never managed. After the Shuyin's birthday party incident, we never had any of those heart-to-heart moments. For some reason, Sora always popped up out of nowhere. He suddenly dominated many conversations, even when he wasn't even there. I'd be almost ready to ask Kairi out, and she'd suddenly announce she 'had to meet Sora at five' or that she 'had to go over the script with Sora' or something. And especially since the Sectionals were coming up, that didn't leave much time for Kairi and I to…talk alone.

Nevertheless, even though Sora was threatening Kairi and I's relationship, I found it impossible to hate Sora. He was just…a happy kid. Okay, so he had issues, but it was hard not to smile when I was around him. We didn't have that much in common, apart from music. And Drama class was the only time we had alone—without all my other friends. Let me make this clear: I had NO romantic feelings whatsoever for Sora. He was just…a listener. And a listener was something I needed more than anything. I managed to learn a few things about him, and vice versa, but we never really got into deep conversations. We still didn't feel that close; we were rivals at war, after all.

But, for some reason, I never felt quite as at ease with my friends as I did when I was with Sora.

* * *

And then came the Sectionals.

* * *

I spent forever in front of my mirror that day. Even though I wasn't going to be on stage, I had a feeling I had to choose carefully what I should wear.

I settled on a Ralph Lauren blue dress shirt, a leather hoodie, blue Beatz, navy jeans and Vans. I even reconditioned my hair, even though that was partially unnecessary.

I honestly thought that that was the day I was going to ask Kairi out.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled on my hood and headed out the door.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was so nervous that I hardly contributed to any conversation; I only heard little snippets of whatever the guys were talking about. Shuyin must have made a Yuna joke, because Tidus' face was redder than Kairi's hair. Which is saying something.

We managed to find seats not too far from the stage, but I was still uncomfortable. I kept imagining asking-out scenarios in my head, and they all ended up with Kairi answering no.

I was busy playing with my shirt sleeves when Tidus prodded my shoulder. I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Hn?"

"Uh…so, um, Riku…" He cleared his throat, whispering as loud as he could over the crowd. "I've been thinking…of asking Yuna out at the Winter Skating Ball."

That caught my attention. "No way."

"Yes way."

"About time too."

Tidus frowned. "W-Well…you're the one to talk. How come you haven't asked You-Know-Who out yet?"

I grinned. "I already told you, and plus—it's not like I've been friends with her since kindergarten."

Tidus looked like he was about to say something else, but the lights dimmed and I focused on the woman on the stage.

It was Stella, our Art teacher, and she was apparently the presenter or something. I figured she must have gotten some kind of promotion after winning the Finals at her graduation.

Whatever.

"Hello, I'm Stella, and welcome, everyone, one to the seventeenth annual glee club Sectionals!" She beamed and waved at everyone. "As you all know, the three glee clubs will compete to dazzle the judges, who will then proceed to choose who will be moving onto the next round!"

I rested my elbow on the armrest and idly looked around the hall. This was my third time here—Yuna had been in the glee club since freshman year, and so had Lenne. The club lost a few members after each graduation, and somehow Yuna and Lenne became the rulers of the club and whoever wanted to enter had to pass through them. They'd gotten two Sectional trophies and two Regional trophies—but they'd never gotten to Nationals. That's all our school ever won, really. The same went for Blitzball, football, basketball, volleyball…

So none of us were really hyped up for the show. We all knew they were bound to win anyway.

For some reason, though, Rikku couldn't stay put and kept breaking into random giggle fits. She was starting to remind me of Vanille, which freaked me out.

"Now, without further ado, let's begin. Give it up for _AVALANCHE_!"

Everyone in our group groaned. _AVALANCHE _was this relentless group who the Songstresses beat every single year. The lead singer was a bitch and the guys were bastards, and they'd started to get annoying.

But this year, for some reason, they were better. It's like they'd been doing some kind of hardcore training or something. They danced better, they sang better…well, whatever, they were good. Especially when they did the JLo song.

I nearly fell asleep while waiting for the next glee club to finish—a pitiful group of freshmen kids in frilly dresses with annoying voices singing to Taylor Swift and Ke$ha songs.

I was amusing myself by playing Tap Tap Revolution—('Poker Face' by Lady Gaga, which, by the way, is really hard to beat)—when Tidus prodded me hard in the arm.

Before I could yell at him for jeopardizing my hope of beating my high score, Stella's cheerful voice echoed over the hall. "And now for the glee club you've been waiting for—THE SONGSTRESSES!"

The lights went off, the stage went dark, and for a while it was silent.

And then the music started, and I froze.

* * *

**HAHAHAHAHAHAAH LOL I AM SO EVIL RITE? RITE? HARHAR LOL. **

**I know. You may hate on me if you wanna. ^^**

**So…ya…this chappie was a little not-so-good, but Whatevs. At least it's up, rite? **

**You know, any normal person would be studying if they had a two-hour test that counted a quarter of their GCSE English grade the next day…but a fanfiction-er, like me, would be posting her newest chapter and jeopardizing her future for her fans. =D**

* * *

**Sneek Peek:**

"_So…Kairi…"_

"_WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE __**WON**__!"_

"_We're just…best friends…" _

"_Yuna…go to the dance with me?"_

* * *

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAH! **

**Now I shall go and work on ADDICTED! So excited for the next chappie! I mean, something's gonna happen, and all…**

**R&R, and stuff. **

**XXXXX **


	14. Turn Me On

**A/N: You'll never guess what. I experienced my first car crash. I'm not really sure what happened; I was late for school and I was riding my bike across the zebra crossing when all of a sudden BAM! And then I was on the ground and my left wrist and ankle hurt.**

**Nothing major; I'm still able to write fanfiction. Though I was very lucky. I'm gonna have to offer up an extra long prayer tonight to thank God. Cause if I hit my head and died and/or lost my capability to write fanfiction…**

**Well. Lets not think about that. **

**ElleGal: Haha lol…you're right not to trust Riku. He's EVIL! Naw, just joking. He's the stereotypical bully-with-a-big-heart. Made that pretty clear right now. Lol.**

**Gxmwp: Haha! ^^ Hope you like this one, Gxmwp! (Man, how do you pronounce that out loud? I always get something like 'GUH-XIMM-WUHP'!)**

**Twilight Yuna: Lol! My fanfic made someone late for school! I am ever so proud! (jk jk) The RikuxFang part made you cry? Wow…I never knew the scene was that emotional! xD I was actually gonna keep it for later on but…I needed to get rid of at least one subplot before I got confused. P.S: I deleted New Story because I was really not proud of it. Don't worry—I'm gonna rewrite it (don't ask when xD) and post it back on, but I really hated the state it was in and realized that I needed A LOT of time to fix it up and fill in all the plotholes etc. Don't worry, it'll be a lot better once it's cleaned up. **

**Superpeanutbutter: Haha lol! Carry on like this and Riku's gonna get confused! Maybe he might even end up like-liking Sora! (just JOKING xD). But I think they'll end up having the kind of relationship Sora and Riku have in the game i.e. close enough to grab each other's butt but not close enough to kiss/sleep in the same bed. Or something like that. (You know what I'm talking about. When Sora was helping Riku up at the end of KHII, he was SO manhandling Riku. I have a feeling he was enjoying groping his butt…haha lol.) Haha, anyway I got the bar 'Seventh Heaven' off the Final Fantasy series (that's Tifa's bar), but I kept the name because it had an ambiguous meaning and, well…yanno. Enjoy!**

**xXAwesomenessKiraXx: Thanks! And enjoy the chappie! **

**Morgead'sgirl: Haha yeh. Thanks. And I LOVE Sora too! He may be kind of a wimp, but he's ADORABLE! And he's way more fun to write about…and I'm a GURL. **

**Draco Oblivion: Yeh you're right. Explains why I don't celebrate it. :P Anyway, I made Riku apologize to Fang because…well, his whole POV is supposed to be about apologizing, right? He's gonna be doing a lot of it in the future…and he WILL find out about Tifa's relationship with Sora…just have to wait! You're right about Riku and Sora's relationship, but they'll be getting close. It'll prolly end up as platonic/borderline-homosexual love in the end. No one really knows. You'll see Riku's reaction in this chappie…you just wait and see. I'm Scottish/Nigerian (weird combination, huh? Yh, everyone says that), but I live in France. I'm in the Anglophone section in my school, and so the curriculum and all that comes from England, so I'm doing GCSEs. But because of the price/how advanced the school is, we only do GCSEs for English and History. But I'm moving to America! So…yeh. Wow, I'm changing school system pretty fast…English, then French, then American…whoo. It's amazing I'm still able to write. And thanks for the good luck! I got a B! My parents are really happy and I'll prolly get a laptop to write all my FANFICTION with…anyway, enjoy the chappie! **

**Reigatsu: I saved your review reply for last because…well, I had a feeling it'd be long! YES, Riku I'm-Too-Sexy-For-Myself Harada DOES have feelings of The L Word and the Big C (Compassion). LE GASP! Riku now has a weak point…which I shall not wait to EXPLOIT. MUAHAHAHAHAR! And Fang will indeed be important later on. She's not really a main character, but…well. Riku'll need a friend when Sora isn't there for him, and—GAH. SPOILERS. And (GASP!), you dig Rikai? OMG! THAT'S, THAT'S…BLASHPEMY AGAINST THE SOKAI LORD! (Ignore, I don't know where that came from either). Lol…yerr it was so weird in KHII in the end when Sora was like *UBER-BUTTGRAB*. Sneaky little dude, trying to cover it up by pretending he was helping Riku…keke. And…will Tidus ask Yuna out? Well that's what you're gonna find out in this chappie! xD…anyway, your parents are just like my friends' parents! They don't want them to have any religion either…they have to choose for themselves! Well, I'm a JW (*sage nod-slash-sheepish grin*), which is why I was raised one…but I'm the one who, when I'm old enough, gets to decide which religion I want to be in. Which is pretty much what I did; I'm a pacifist which is why I support JWs not going to war, and I also never really got that Trinity doctrine anyway, especially since there's all that stuff in the Bible about God saying he's the only god and Jesus saying God's his father and…stuff. Meh. Well. I think it's understandable you don't want any religion though; most religions today aren't even religions; they're just labels. Like I could say 'I'M A CATHOLIC' and still have sex with all the guys on the football team (lol not that that would ever happen xD). That's just how religion works these days. Either that or 'I'M GONNA STEAL THIS MASSIVELY EXPENSIVE CAR TODAY AND PRAY LATER' or something. Haha. Anyway, enough about religion! Onto the chappie! Enjoy! XXX…OH WAIT! I forgot…BOOYAHSHACKALAKA! (Yes, I just HAD to do that. xD)**

**About the chappie: Will Riku have a nosebleed? Will Riku succeed in asking Kairi out? Will Riku kill Sora with his bare hands? Will Tidus ask Yuna out? And, most important of all…will this chappie ever BEGIN?**

**Well, in order to find the answer to those questions…let's GO GO GO! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of the songs mentioned, neither do I own the characters. Think everyone should know by now. Ugh, doing three fics at the same time means I'm gonna have to be doing a lot more disclaimers… *sigh***

* * *

_I have a mini spaz-attack._

All of a sudden my mind went blank and all that was running through my head was 'Kairi's touching me. KAIRI IS TOUCHING ME.' Over and over and over again.

_Sora's a benchie._

"It's a serious task, Sora. If one of the players catches a cold and can't play, it'll be all your fault."

_I apologize to someone for the first time in…well, in a long time. And you'll never guess who I apologize to._

"I l-love you Riku! I always have—"

"I'm sorry, Fang, but…I just don't feel that way. Alright?"

_I get some advice from the Tiffster._

"Look, Riku…I know you say you've tried…but you just gotta keep trying. You'll eventually succeed and then…" She paused. "Well. Whoever this girl is, she'd have to be crazy to say no to YOU."

_And then come the Sectionals. _

"And now for the glee club you've been waiting for—THE SONGSTRESSES!"

* * *

**Chapter 14: Turn Me On**

_C'mere_

_Rude boy, boy_

_Can you get it up?_

_C'mere_

_Rude boy, boy_

_Is you big enough?_

As I sat there, staring at Kairi dancing with a mesmerized-slash-astonished expression on my face, I realized that all those things in romance novels about feeling electricity running through your veins and feeling like everything else has disappeared bla bla bla…isn't complete rubbish.

It was like triple the usual effect Kairi had on me, which was saying something. She was wearing almost _nothing at all_, and the deep olive-green color of the little that she was wearing really suited her.

She reminded me of one of those girls that dance on television in rap music videos. She looked pretty slutty, but for some reason that didn't turn me off. At all. In fact, it had the complete opposite effect on me.

_Every boy's the same_

_Since up in the seventh grade_

_They been trying to get with me_

_Trying to (Ha, ha-ha, ha, ha-ha)_

It was only when they'd moved onto the next song that I'd gained control of my senses long enough to actually started listening to the lyrics. They'd chosen the most provocative songs I'd ever heard of, but amazingly not any Lady Gaga song. (LE GASP!). Kairi looked like she was enjoying herself, even flirting with some of the guys in the crowd (which made some zit-faced dudes from the South End sitting next to me catcall) as she sang.

Yuna, I have to admit, looked a million bucks. She wasn't wearing much either; she was trotting around in a pink-and-black-striped corsage and leather shorts, looking, admittedly, pretty sexy. As expected, Tidus was completely fired up, clapping fervently and cheering as loudly as he could. He looked like he was having a hard time sitting in his seat, and plus—he was sweating quite a lot.

_What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside your trunk?_

_I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,_

_Get you love drunk off my hump._

It got worse when they started singing 'My Humps'. It was now that they started dancing with the male Songstresses, which irked Tidus—and, of course, me—immensely. For some reason this made the crowd go wild. The cheering got louder, which meant they had to sing a lot louder as well.

I noticed the judges were trying hard not to look like they were almost peeing in their pants.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Their performance eventually came to an end, with an overwhelming applause.

(I had gotten pretty used to the Songstresses giving overwhelming performances by now—it was, after all, their third Sectional competition in a row—but they'd never done anything this daring, and neither had they ever displayed that much skin.

It was then that I noticed all the judges were male.)

The Songstresses, minus Yuna, Lenne, Denzel and Hope, were all bubbly, and I even spotted Zidane doing his trademark thing about flirting with some girls in the crowd. My eyes eventually landed on Kairi again, whose face was practically glowing. She looked so happy, the complete opposite of how she looked a few weeks back at Shuyin's birthday party. (Yes, because I still couldn't get that encounter out of my head.)

And then she looked at me.

And, as you can guess, I froze.

There's this thing about how a girl looks when she's under flashing bright lights, you know? Especially when that girl is Kairi.

Anyway, so all I could do was just sit there and, well, _stare _at her. I saw a flicker of what seemed like disappointment flash through her eyes before she looked away. Her face lit up again as she spotted someone in the crowd, and then she waved.

Confused, I looked around for who she was waving to, and then I saw him.

Sora. Grinning like a…well. Like a _Sora_.

I can't explain how jealous I was of Sora at that exact moment.

"Now it's time for a little intermission while the judges cast their votes. Don't go anywhere; we'll be back in ten minutes with the results of which school glee club won this year!"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It wasn't really a surprise that the Songstresses won.

They brandished the trophy with decency, Irvine once again giving 'all the pretty girls out there' his phone number and Kairi grabbing the microphone and letting out an ardent "IN YOUR FACE BIATCHES!"

Fortunately, the crowd seemed to think she was adorable and not annoying, like I thought they would.

Me and the guys headed outside and waited backstage for the girls to finish dressing up. _AVALANCHE _and _Playing With Fate _passed, but the Songstresses still hadn't finished.

Shuyin was really impatient to see Lenne, while Tidus wouldn't stop fiddling with his phone (something he always did when he was nervous). Wakka just yawned, kicking the gravel and spinning his Blitzball around (he never went anywhere without it).

"That was hot, man," Shuyin put in. "I mean, I never knew they had it in them."

"I did," Wakka shrugged. "Especially Yuna. I know she come off as a good girl most of the time, but girls like dat _always _have a bad side."

Everyone looked at Tidus, and he blushed. "What? What you lookin' at me for?"

"Are you _ever _gonna ask her out or what?" Shuyin replied for the rest of us. "I mean, pretty soon we're gonna finish high school, and then it's off to college and/or the real world."

"I heard Yuna's thinkin' about getting a singing scholarship, mon." Wakka tutted. "And you know that if she gets that, she gonna make it big."

"And you know if THAT happens…" Shuyin left it at that. "Well. Good luck chasing her down when she's having concerts every month and parties every weekend—at Beverly Hills."

Tidus huffed. "What the hell? How'd you guys manage to write up her future in barely thirty seconds? You have no idea if she'll even _get _a singing scholarship—whatever that is—and plus she doesn't even WANT a scholarship in singing. She wants to do music therapy to help the sick kids with autism or amnesia and stuff like that, and if not she says she wants to be an actor and…"

He paused when he noticed we were all staring at him with amused expressions.

He started fiddling with his phone, likely playing Angry Birds or something. "Whatever. That's not the point. I _will_ ask her out—just not now."

"When will you then? At Armageddon?" Shuyin joked.

Tidus didn't answer. "What about Kairi, huh?" He gave me a knowing glance.

Shuyin and Wakka looked at me, and I felt my cheeks heating up, like they always did whenever Kairi's name was mentioned in a conversation. "What about her?"

"Isn't it weird that Riku hasn't asked Kairi out yet?" Tidus went on, starting to get on my nerves. "I remember just last year he went out with those three hot new juniors in a month, no less."

"Ya, what's holdin' you up, mon?" Wakka joked, patting me on the back. "Kairi's some chick. She spunky, athletic, smart…and she got quite a body too."

I scowled, suddenly finding the graveled parking lot very interesting. I didn't really know what to say. It was a bit suspicious that a month had passed and I hadn't hooked up with any girl yet.

"Whatever."

"What's the matter, Riku?" Tidus probed. I figured he was still pretty miffed about the Yuna subject, which was why he was acting like an outright asshole. "Chicken?"

"You just shut up, alright?" I snapped, and then I turned on my feet and went to wait by the door, just as the others came out from backstage.

Yuna and Lenne came out first, flourishing their third annual Sectionals trophy casually, followed by the rest of the group. Kairi came out last, in all her redheaded glory.

She stopped when she saw me, nearly bumping into me. The rest of the group were a bit far off with Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka, and I realized that this was my golden opportunity. I'd show them all. I wasn't a chicken.

(Okay, so I wasn't that much a loser to get upset if someone called me 'chicken', which, by the way, is the lamest insult in the history of lame insults…but, well. Tidus was annoying me.)

She gave me an apologetic smile and tried to move past me, but I blocked her way. Puzzled, she glanced at me before trying to move the other way, but before I could stop myself I'd grabbed her arm.

I inwardly punched myself at my action when she looked up at me, confused. "…Riku?"

I had to act—fast. "Um…" I licked my lips and cleared my throat, trying to think of how to say it.

_Go out with me?_ Nah, too casual, and, plus, I'd used it way to many times on worthless nowhere-as-good-as-Kairi girls in the past.

_You, me, tomorrow at eight, Breadsticks._ No way in hell. I'd sound like a player (which, I admit, I was…once upon a time, before I met Kairi of course). Plus, it was too demanding, and I had a feeling Kairi wouldn't like that.

_Please go out with me, Kairi?_ Ugh, that was even worse. I'd sound like I'd never dated anyone in my life. Too desperate, too whiny, too…un-Riku-like.

The whole situation in itself was un-Riku-like! If it was any other girl, she'd already be my girlfriend and I'd probably have gotten past third base by now! If it was any other girl, I wouldn't be thinking about how to ask her out. It wouldn't matter what pick-up line I use—the girl would say yes anyway. If it was any other girl, my heart wouldn't have been beating at a thousand beats per second and my palms wouldn't be all sweaty.

But, of course, it just had to be Kairi who I'd gotten a crush on.

_If you have a dream, don't wait. Act. _A little life lesson I'd learnt from Kadaj (who had apparently learnt this lesson from one of his 'buddies', if you could put it that way).

"Well, um, K-Kairi I…" I swallowed when I noticed how close our faces were now. Her eyes were so much prettier up close, and I could see every detail of her face, every trace of make-up, every flawless—

"KAIRI!"

You probably saw that coming. The cliché Guy-about-to-ask-Girl-out-but-is-interrupted-by-Random-Idiot-who-just-happens-to-be-there moment.

It was Selphie, and I had to let go of Kairi before she submitted it to the school newspaper.

Before she could react, Selphie grabbed Kairi and hauled her off closer to the car park, where Sora was leaning against the fence.

I swear I nearly ripped out my hair at that.

It got worse. She gave him a friendly hug and then they started chatting animatedly and laughing at each other and acting all la-di-dah. Eventually Sora had to go and she gave him another goodbye hug, which I thought was totally uncalled for.

He left, and I decided to try again, heading over to her. By the time I got there she was shivering and rubbing her arms. I saw the goosebumps lining her creamy arms. "You okay?"

She turned around to look at me, and I averted my gaze nervously. "Yeh I'm fine."

Her teeth started clattering, and I raised an eyebrow. "You look cold."

She shook her head stubbornly. "I-I'm not—"

She sneezed fervently, and I couldn't help but smile amusedly at her. "You didn't bring a sweater?"

She frowned, teeth still clattering as she shivered. "No, as a m-m-matter of fact, I didn't. I was too busy getting ready to go on s-st-stage to think about that—"

I couldn't take it anymore and slipped off my leather jacket and wrapped it around her. I figured this was the typical cliché gesture, and I had a feeling she noticed. I heard girls liked that sort of thing.

Her cheeks were flushed red from the cold. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Trust me—you need it more than I do," I chuckled, adjusting the collar. Her neck felt warm and I reprimanded myself for not noticing earlier. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if she caught a fever.

She sniffed, and then gave me a searching look. "What about you? Won't you be cold now I've got your jacket?"

I shook my head dismissively. "I'll be fine. And I don't get colds."

This was true, but she didn't look convinced.

I grinned. "I'm serious. I think my immune system totally evolved, yanno, with all the swimming I do."

"Is that even possible?"

I shrugged and she giggled. "But it could be true. I can't remember the last time I've called in sick."

"Mmm." She zipped up my jacket, looking pretty adorable in it. It was way too big for her.

I cleared my throat and realized it was a perfect opportunity. "You were…you were great, by the way."

She buried her flushed cheeks in the collar of my jacket. "Thanks."

_This is it, man. The moment of truth._

I opened my mouth, and—

_DRINNGGGGGG! DRRRRRIIIINNNNNGGGG! _

(Did you honestly think I was actually gonna ask her out without being interrupted? Don't you know it's pretty obvious that I'll have to undergo several other cliché moments before I finally manage to ask her out?)

Cursing, I slipped my phone out of my pocket, feeling Kairi's gaze on me. My hands were shaking and I froze when I saw the caller ID.

It was Kadaj.

My idiot older brother.

I really felt like ignoring the call—I really did. But I knew I couldn't. I had this weird feeling that if I ignored the call, Kadaj was gonna get me back one way or another.

That's how warped my family was. No one did anything without being bribed or forced to do it.

Clutching my phone in my palm, I clenched my teeth and muttered: "I…I gotta go."

"Um…okay…" She whispered. I couldn't stand her searching look and turned on my heels and headed to my car.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Some kids were spotted messing around on our turf," Kadaj announced when I arrived at their apartment.

As usual, I was feeling majorly pissed off at the world. Kadaj's stupid phone call had prevented me from doing what I'd been planning to do since the first day I met Kairi. And all he interrupted me for was to make me chase down trespassers.

Like I gave a fuck.

Of course I didn't tell him that. He'd probably end up doing some horrible prank on me later in the week. Or somehow bribing someone to accidentally murder me.

He was that heartless.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Time passed.

I managed to keep steady grades in all subjects, including English (there was no WAY I was taking junior year _again_). I endured taking care of the stupid Baby only thanks to Fang, who volunteered to do most of my assignment for me. We still ended up with a D, seeing as I accidentally left it in the fridge once or twice and Fang forgot it in the showers after one of the Blitzball matches.

Speaking of Blitzball, we vanquished the Whirlpools and the Humpbacks (our rival Sectional Blitzball teams) with ease. They had never really been a problem in the past.

There were, of course, a few slip-ups, seeing as Kairi had now become a cheerleader, which resulted in me regularly getting distracted. This irked the rest of the team out, seeing as I was the captain and was supposed to be their role model.

Sora was doing great as the Benchwarmer. It was pretty amusing to watch him struggle around with the towels and the spare Blitz gear and all that. He got teased quite a lot by the rest of the team, but all he did was smile and laugh in return, and they soon started to grow fond of Sora. He even got his own nicknames, 'Benchie' and 'Bench Kid', which should have been insulting.

But Sora was all-round-smiley, and nothing seemed to hurt him.

I had no idea what enabled him to change his attitude toward life between the previous year and the present year.

Probably Kairi.

Kairi and Sora were inseparable. Sora still hung out with his friends and all, but Kairi frequently left our group to go and talk to him. She assured me that they were just 'best friends', and I realized he did have that whole 'gay best friend' vibe to him.

He never dared come join us.

Even though he had taken a huge climb up the social ladder, he still hadn't qualified to stay at our table. He occasionally got shoved in the hallways, but the Porcupie nickname I'd invented faded out when they realized I stopped using it.

His twin brother, Roxas, had gained a considerate amount of publicity. I'd heard Yuffie announce that he had been voted second hottest guy in school in the latest school magazine, (based on girls' votes in the ladies room). This surprised me immensely, since (not trying to be cocky or anything) I was undoubtedly the most good-looking male in school without contest. It was a bit weird that That Emo Goth Kid had suddenly gotten fangirls after his new 'makeover'.

Sora and I occasionally talked, but when we did…

…it wasn't so bad.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

As the Autumn Term's end approached, the Winter Wonderland Bash was all anyone talked about.

The Halloween and Christmas Bashes being annulled, everyone was excited for the Non-Denominational Winter Skating Ball that was approaching. Yoshida had finally realized that it looked pretty stupid decorating the gym with fake snow on a Mediterranean-tropical island, and decided that holding the Bash in an ice rink would be much more logical.

I thought of asking Kairi out to the Bash, but Sora was all she hung out with these days and, well, I had a feeling she'd already planned something. And, anyway, apart from that Tidus had already chosen that approach, and he'd think I was copying him.

On the Friday afternoon of the last day of the Autumn Term, we were sitting in the cafeteria when Tidus popped the question.

Yuna was poking half-hazardly at her plate of mince and puree (yuck) and leaning on her left palm. Tidus was conveniently sitting next to her.

The bell rang and we were all getting up from the table when Tidus blurted out all of a sudden: "Yuna…go to the dance with me?"

Yuna stiffened and stared at him in shock, and everyone else at the table was silent. This was the long anticipated moment we'd all been waiting for since…well, ever. It all became pretty clear after freshman year when Tidus wouldn't stop staring at her.

Everyone expected Yuna to say yes.

No one—and I mean NO ONE—expected her to say:

"No."

I heard Lenne gasp and Shuyin wince.

Tidus looked like he'd just been punched in the stomach. "Wh…what?"

"I…I'm sorry I…" She lowered her gaze and picked up her tray. "I just…can't."

"Wh…what do you-why?" He was sputtering now, looking pretty torn.

"It's…it's just there's…there someone else, okay?" Yuna's voice was shaky and she was blushing hard. "Don't…I'll see you in class, okay?"

She picked up her tray and stalked off to the dustbin.

Everyone was silent.

And then the bell rang for the second time and the everyone but me and Tidus did the same.

Tidus was staring down at the ground, looking lost. I felt pretty bad for him. "T? You ok—"

"Thanks a LOT, Riku," he spat, giving me a very, very icy glare before storming out of the cafeteria.

* * *

**YES! DONE…finally. This chappie went to hell and back. Honestly. **

**My wrist hurts, so no Sneek Peek, sowwy.**

**Car crashes take a lot out of you. **

**R&R! **

**XXX **


	15. Money Honey

**A/N: My brother's graduated from high school! (FINALLY. Now he can help me do my homework.) Anyway, guess what? One of his friends is the stepson of DIDIER DROGBA. (Who, if you didn't know, is a Chelsea football player. Chelsea's my favorite club btw.) And he was THERE! I very nearly fangirl screamed. I got his photo, and everything, but not his autograph. Drat. **

**Anyway, did you guys know authors notes were banned on this site? I had no idea…well, okay so I did, but I thought they meant authors notes as in a chappie=authors note, or something like that. **

**Well I guess that means from now on review replies etc are out of the question. Though I don't see why others do it. Replying to your reviews right now anyway, but after this chappie…well, we'll see. **

**Twilight Yuna: I'm okay, thanks. Didn't even bump my head. And, since I believe in God and all, I can thank him for that. Cause then I would have forgotten all that's gonna happen and… *shudders* Anyway. Yeh, Riku and Vanitas had the same thought. As for New Story…well. If you got passed chapter twenty you'd notice the glaring plotholes and OOC-ness that made me delete it. I'll start working on it if you really wanted to read it; it's an IU and it was my first fic, so it had the whole New Writer's Syndrome and everything. I'll be sure to fill you in when it's reposted! Enjoy the chappie!**

**BlackMarionette: Lol, yearbooks. *thinks* I have to add that to this story…anyway. Tidus and Yuna's situation will be fixed soon enough. Enjoy!**

**Skateboard: I did look both ways, but NORMALLY when you're on a zebra crossing people STOP for you. Especially when the little man is GREEN. (Okay, so it turned red two seconds after I got on to the zebra crossing, but that wasn't my fault). I'm not trying to make Sora and Riku gay I'm just trying to make their relationship end up a bit like…a bit like the game yanno? And you're absolutely right on the Yuna subject. I totally understand your peevs about this story, and I'd LOVE to hurry up and make them all GET THE HELL ON WITH IT, but…well. Plot bunnies, and such. Have fun reading!**

**An1995616: You'll see. ^^ Have fun!**

**ThatKid10001 (YESH! THREE ZEROES HARHAR): I know right? I am so gonna sue that car for endangering a celebrity's life. *snobby huff* Lmaooo I'm just kidding. I'm not THAT awesome. I'm just a normal teenage girl, with a warped imagination and the tendency to walk in the wrong direction and forget to look at the little man when he changes from green to red, and such. By the way, Yuna's into TIDUS. She's just confused. She's blinded by Riku's words and now she's rejecting everyone until…meh. I don't know what she's expecting; a serenade or sth? Whatev, enjoy the chappie. (P.S: …what's a Puff Puff? The only one I know of that shares that name is an African snack made out of flour and butter. :P)**

**Superpeanutbutter: I think I'm gonna look both ways about ten times, and then one more time just to make sure from now on. I don't trust traffic lights anymore; they're rip-offs. Anyway, I know Sora wasn't grabbing his butt, but it looked like it when you saw it from the front. I mean, you never know. Maybe he just moved his hand for the camera, or something. Thanks! Your reviews make me happy too! Even if I may not continue replying to your reviews (DAMN YOU FANFICCY DOT NET AND YOUR STUPID GUIDELINES!), I'll still enjoy reading them! And, indeed, poor Tidus. Hopefully it'll get better for him. Enjoy!**

**Toni Heart: Yuppers, I'm alright. Alright enough to do Sports (NOOO!).Riku didn't really do anything wrong; Tidus just blamed him cause he was pissed. I guess he thought it was RiRi's fault cause Riku made Yuna confused, or something. **

**Q-A the Authoress: Me too, my friend. This is Drama, so it probably will. **

**ElleGal: Yeh…fatal=BAD. Lol. I liked Riku better in the second KH; in the first one he was too cocky and he looked like he was on steroids and he had a freaky Japanese laugh. In KHII he was calm and collected and he had long hair and he looked hotter and his head was proportional to his body. Lmao. **

**Draco Oblivion: Thanks! Riku's life does seem pretty suckish. Riku and Roku are your fave characters? Me too! (along with Namine and Kairi and Sora and Axel and Demyx and Xemnas and Zexion and…) Poor, poor Tidus. Thanks for your concern; I came out okay though. My crappy bike saved my life (it took all the damage). I'm pretty freaked out by cars now, but it's okay. Enjoy!**

**Gxmwp: IKR? Well…Yuna has issues, let's leave it at that. Riku was actually the first guy she went out with, if you must know. Tidus was just in a bad mood; that's why he went and blamed him like that. And I think I'm gonna call you…G-GIRL! (Ignore how crappy that sounds). **

**NoVII a.k.a Karasu: Thanks!**

**Phew. Off we go then. About this chappie: Riku, Kairi, Sora, Tidus, Yuna…and the rest. **

**Disclaimer: …you know. Oh, and I don't own 'Noughts and Crosses' or 'All those Pretty Lights' by Andrew Belle. **

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_The Songstresses win Sectionals. _

They brandished the trophy with decency, Irvine once again giving 'all the pretty girls out there' his phone number and Kairi grabbing the microphone and letting out an ardent "IN YOUR FACE BIATCHES!"

_I fail at asking Kairi out._

_This is it, man. The moment of truth._

I opened my mouth, and—

_DRINNGGGGGG! DRRRRRIIIINNNNNGGGG! _

_While Tidus DOES. SHOCK!_

"Yuna…go to the dance with me?"

_But Yuna…well._

"No. It's…it's just there's…there someone else, okay?"

_And now Tidus is mad at me, and the bash is coming up, and…yeah. Life's generally sucking. _

_And I still haven't asked Kairi out yet. _

* * *

**Chapter 15: Money Honey**

Tidus was silent for the rest of the day. He glared at me whenever I met his eyes, while I wondered what the hell I'd done wrong.

Maybe it was because of what I'd told Yuna. You see, like I may have mentioned before, when I broke up with her I told her that it was someone else was meant to be with her and…well, she kinda took it all wrong. Now she was rejecting every single guy and waiting for this guy I'd told her about.

I didn't get it though. It was pretty obvious that, even though she was waiting for this Mystery Guy, she was pretty fond of Tidus. She knew Tidus better than anyone else in our group—including Shuyin, who was his cousin.

I guess she knew Tidus too well to believe he could be The One.

Or maybe she thought he was moving too fast, or something.

Girls didn't make sense.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I organized a trip to Starbucks after school, you know, so we could hang out while waiting for our parents to finish getting our report cards and stuff. I also did this to make sure no one noticed Sephiroth was my Dad, or anything.

We were waiting for the girls to finish their Gifted and Talented class, sitting in the grass of the school courtyard. There weren't that many people, just a few freshmen gossiping about the Bash, a lip-locked couple, and some guys smoking. The courtyard was the only place where smoking was permitted, ever since a parent had written a complaint to Yoshida about her son's 'withdrawal symptoms' and such.

Wakka was pulling out a pack now. He stuck a cigarette in his mouth and tossed the pack to Shuyin, who did the same. Shuyin and Wakka had been smoking since they were fifteen, though Shuyin didn't smoke any of the bad stuff. Wakka gave me a look, as if to say "Want one?", and I shrugged. I only smoked very rarely, and today was one of those days when I was bored and needed something to do.

Tidus was picking at the grass. He still looked pretty washed out from his rejection, and the scowl hadn't completely faded yet. He saw me looking and I smiled sadly at him, but all he did was scowl ominously at me.

"Come on, T," I sighed. I was getting frustrated now. "What did _I _do?"

"You _know _what you did," was all he snapped back. I sighed and caught the lighter Shuyin tossed me.

"Look, I made a mistake," I apologized. "I should have told her outright that you're in love with her when I had the chance."

Shuyin laughed at his rapidly coloring face and Wakka just shook his head. "That ain't right, mon. Tidus, _you _are the one who should tell her, not Riku."

"He's got a point," Shuyin put in, taking another drag. "I asked Lenne out ages ago, and look at us now."

"Yes. One bite away from eating each other. Charming."

"What he means, T, is that I've played my part." I put out my cigarette, knowing that it was a waste but not really caring. "Now it's _your _cue. It's obvious Yuna wants you; she's just a bit…confused at the moment."

"Now all that's left is for you to clear up this mess," Shuyin finished for me. Tidus just looked away, pensive.

"Better hurry before some other guy beats you to it," Wakka advised. "Yuna's quite a catch. If I didn't know better, I'd—"

"Enough already!" Tidus snarled, glowering at Wakka with the power of a thousand suns. "I get it! Drop it, okay?"

"T—" I stopped as Tidus snatched the pack of cigarettes from Shuyin and put a stick in his mouth.

Tidus, as long as I knew him, thought smoking was for wusses and constantly nagged Shuyin to quit. I remembered the time in freshmen year when he'd been offered a pack and had shook his head, simply saying: "I thought you were too smart to smoke?"

Turns out, Tidus was _that _hurt about the Yuna thing.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We met up with Yuna and Lenne after they finished their class, along with Fang, Yuffie and Vanille.

"Where's Kairi?" I asked, noticing Kairi wasn't with any of them.

"Dunno." Lenne shrugged, whacking Shuyin's arm as he started playing with her hair. "She said she had to meet up with You-Know-Who."

Everyone groaned.

"I don't know why she insists on hanging out with him," Fang tutted. "He's pretty weird, and not to mention annoying."

"I think he's okay," Yuffie chirped.

Vanille giggled. "Weird how just a month or two ago we were still calling him Porcupie."

Everyone looked at me, and I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so I figured it was about time we dropped the nickname. It was getting old anyways."

"Yuffie's right; he isn't that bad," Shuyin mumbled into Lenne's neck, where his lips seemed to permanently reside these days. "Lots of guys on the Blitz team say he's pretty funny."

"Fun to laugh at, you mean."

"Look, there she is now!" Vanille exclaimed, pointing in her direction. Indeed, there Kairi was, wearing a strawberry-colored raincoat and walking with Sora. They weren't talking, just smiling, but the distance between them was close to nil and it unnerved me.

My feet were moving before I could stop them, and soon enough me and the entire group were standing in front of Kairi.

I looked over at Sora, who was blinking blankly at me, and gave him a small nod while waiting for Kairi to finish saying hi to the girls.

"We're going to Starbucks," I announced. "Come with?"

Kairi nodded briskly, smiling, before turning back to Sora. Her hair was slightly wet and I spotted a lone leaf in her hair. I had the nagging urge to reach into her hair and softly take it out, but all my friends were there and I felt that would be a bit weird.

"See you later, I guess," Kairi said to Sora. Thankfully, she didn't give him a hug for once and instead just gave him a wave before joining the rest of us.

We were all heading to our respective cars when the hairs on the back of my neck rose on instinct. I felt someone watching me, and turned around.

There was no one there, but I swore I saw what looked like red spiky hair disappear behind one of the buildings.

Shaking my head dismissively, I climbed into my car.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

After waiting for all the girls to buy their drinks, I got my usual order: a trademark Starbucks Frappuccino. It was the only coffee drink I ever drank there, after all. And since it was winter, it was getting pretty cold.

Kairi got a hot chocolate with double cream and marshmallows, but for some reason later discarded it and got some kind of espresso-slash-black coffee thing that I was sure she didn't enjoy much. Her face scrunched up adorably whenever she took a sip.

I noticed Fang whisper something to Vanille, who broke into giggles.

I sighed.

Wakka broke into a rant about the upcoming Regional Blitzball championship. We were going against the Southsea _Dragons_ and the Northbank _Lions_, which I, personally, thought were pretty weird names to say the least. After that, if we won those, we'd be against the Radiant Garden _Crashers_ and the Twilight Town _Horizons_. Wakka was the only one who bothered enough to check all that up. He knew the weaknesses and strong points of every single team, and he wasn't even the captain. The only reason I was the captain was because of my talent and my looks.

I overheard the girls talking about the Bash, though Yuna wasn't adding anything in edgewise. Tidus wasn't much different; his Mocha had gotten cold ages ago.

None of them talked for the rest of the evening.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I got home ages before Dad, who came home around midnight. I spent an hour on Facebook, messed around on Youtube and MSN and cleaned up my room before finally crashing.

The next morning I woke up, brushed my teeth and headed downstairs, and nearly screamed when I saw Dad. He had passed out on the kitchen table, and there was broken glass on the floor. The table sported one and a practically empty vodka bottle.

"Dad?" I whispered, cautiously approaching him. His long bangs were covering his face, and as I lifted them I noticed his forehead was sweaty. Not really knowing what to do, I poked his cheek. No response. I poked harder. Still no response.

I slapped him.

Dad let out a loud groan and I recoiled in alarm. Okay, so I could've seen that coming.

Dad slowly lifted his head up from the table, massaging his head. It took him a while to come to. "Uh…where am I?"

"Planet Earth," I muttered under my breath.

Dad saw me and sighed before rubbing his forehead again. "Hell…my head is fucking killing me…"

He suddenly froze and clamped his hand over his mouth, stumbling off his seat and throwing up all over the kitchen sink.

I was pretty sure I just lost my appetite.

He threw up several times, while I massaged his back. It just felt like the right thing to do at that moment. I didn't really get why he was drinking so much these days, and it was starting to get freaky.

The atmosphere just wasn't right, so I didn't ask any questions. I waited for him to finish clearing out his stomach, and then watched him head to the living room and crash on the sofa.

I didn't really do much that day. I was pretty much idle. I had several texts from unknown girls asking me to the Bash, even though it was one day away. Fat chance I was going out with any of _them_.

I was reading the mail later on—one from the town hall reminding us of our deadline for paying the rent, along with some ads—when Loz revved up on his motorbike.

He was wearing one of his macho leather jackets, the ones that enhanced his large biceps and made them look even larger. He rarely came over on his own, so I was a bit wary.

He got off his bike and gave me a sardonic grin. I simply ignored him, preparing to head back inside, but then he called out my name.

"Yo, Dipshit!" Okay, maybe not my name. "Hey! Buttface!" Leave it to Loz to come up with the most lame, overused insults in history. "I'm talking to you, Dickhead!"

"Really?" I muttered. "I didn't notice."

He was in front of me now, giving me a glare that disappeared seconds later. He reached into his coat and shoved a parcel against my chest. "From Kadaj. Says it's yours."

I immediately recoiled. "No-no-no way! There is no way I'm taking another one of those!"

"You should if you know what's good for you," he muttered in response, crossing his arms.

We had a mini glaring contest before I sighed in resign and stuffed it in my pocket. "Fine. Whatever. Now get out."

"So, what d'you think?" Loz flashed his new watch about a centimeter away from my nose, twisting his forearm this way and that. It was so close I couldn't even see it properly. Was he trying to poke out one of my eyeballs with the thing or what? And, even worse, his pits were howling.

"Damn!" I covered my nose in disgust. "You do know that armpits can be washed, don't you?"

"I forgot to put on some deodorant today." He shrugged, and I gaped at him in disgust.

"Anyway. The watch?" He prompted. "What d'you think?"

"Does it shoot down low-flying aircraft?" I asked, taking a small step back as eau-de-stinky-pits started punching at my nose again.

He pursed his lips. "Not that it says in the manual."

"Does it contain the nanotechnology to drain subdural hematoma?" I wasn't sure what I was talking about now, but I was desperate to get rid of him.

"That's the next model up from this one."

"Then it tells the time, same as mine and any other watch you can get in the shop."

"Yeah, but mine looks good and costs more than everything you have in your bedroom and then some."

I rolled my eyes. _Yeh right_. "Could you lower your arm before you kill me?" I pleaded.

He took pity on me and did as I asked.

After taking a deep breath of fresh, uncontaminated air, I crossed my arms and gave Loz a look. "Your watch, did you buy it or acquire it?" I asked, expecting him to know what I meant.

He did. "I bought it, you douche. And I have the receipt and sales certificate to prove it." He frowned, seemingly disappointed that I wasn't impressed by his stupid watch. "You're starting to sound like the fucking police."

I slipped the mail into my pocket. "Hey, I don't give a shit where you got it from."

"Well, I bought it with cash money, made from earning a living rather than dosing it at school like some people I could mention."

Yeh right. As if you could call what he did 'earning a living'. "And is it accurate?"

"Course. Guaranteed to lose only one second every hundred years."

I inspected it. It was large and looked pretty expensive, to tell the truth. I got a car for my birthday and everything, and I guess you'd think I was the luckiest guy in the world…but seeing Loz get all that money for doing a few simple deliveries here and there was, to say the least, pretty impressive. "So, what else does it do?"

Loz scrunched his nose. "Nothing else. It's not some digital toy out of a cereal box. This is pure class."

"But all it does is tell the time," I deadpanned.

"Damn, Riku, what the hell is wrong with you? I can't even believe we're related."

I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to leave me alone until I acted impressed. "It's a lovely watch, Loz. If I ever get married it'll be to that watch."

"Go fuck yourself."

I smiled at his reaction and was about to head inside when something Loz said sparked my interest.

"You could afford a watch like this too, you know. And more besides."

I halted, raking my fingers through my hair before sighing. "You know Dad's not really all that keen on me getting a job." I knew what he was trying to say, but I was content on blabbering nonsense. "And even then I still have to wait until my birthday before I can get any presents. And—"

"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about deliveries."

I froze. "I've already tried that and I'm quite sure that's not how desperate I am to get cash."

"Trust me, it's easy money—"

"Yeh, if you're willing to get your ass in jail." I clenched my fists. "Did you _see _how close I was to getting caught? If I wasn't wearing gloves—"

"Xehanort can protect you," He muttered in a low voice. My blood ran cold after hearing that name. "He's great, almost like a Dad to me."

When being dragged around by the Evil Hench Triplets, I managed to pick up a few things about him. I'd never seen him, but I knew quite a lot about who he was and what he was after. Xehanort was a gangster, pure and not so simple. He was the head of the Disciplinary Committee, which was the gang my brothers worked for. He took his cut of every crooked deal that went down on the Islands—that is, if the XIII didn't get it first. The XIII were the other set of lowlifes who ran all the illegal activities on Destiny Islands that Xehanort didn't have his grubby hands on. Or maybe it was the other way round. No one really knew. They both offered protection to any scalawag that pledged alliance. From what I'd heard, the majority of the XIII were kids, the youngest being barely younger than me, which was pretty surprising.

It was depressing, to say the least. The Islands, especially the Main Island where we lived, was no longer owned by the government, but by the two rival gangs. I heard more than once of a poor unfortunate soul stepping on someone's 'turf' and subsequently disappearing.

I was more than convinced I didn't want to be caught up in all that mess.

"You do know you already _have _a Dad, right?" I muttered once I'd gotten over my shock.

Loz made a derisive noise. "Yeah. Right. Anyway, the point is, the no-man's-land you want to live on doesn't exist. If you don't pick a side soon, you'll be nowhere."

"I don't know about you, but Nowhere sounds like a pretty peaceful place to be—especially around here." I smirked at my own lame joke.

"Nowhere will get you dead," he muttered bluntly. "On the inside you'll be protected, you'll have back-up. And you'll have money."

I rolled my eyes. "Not this again. Don't you have somewhere—anywhere—to go?"

"Think of all you could spend that money on."

"I'm really getting tired of this, Loz."

"Clothes, gadgets—"

"I'm leaving."

"—girls."

I swear my heart skipped a beat when I heard him say that. I don't know why, but suddenly I had a picture of Kairi in my mind.

If I had money, Kairi and I…

I shook my head. I wasn't going to start thinking that way. I'd go mad if I started thinking that way.

Sighing, I raked my hands through my hair. "Get lost. I'm going inside."

Loz tutted. "Whatever."

But as he climbed onto his motorbike and revved off, the thought still stayed etched in my mind.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

You must all think I was acting pretty stupid. I might as well have been the luckiest guy in the world. I was popular, handsome, had lots of [fake] friends, everyone looked up to me, my Dad usually showered me with presents, girls grovelled at my feet…

You'd think I had everything.

But no.

I didn't.

There was something I didn't have, something that I wanted oh, so badly.

And that was Kairi.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was still thinking about it the next day, when I was getting ready for the Winter Wonderland Bash. I took a shower, put on my favorite winter outfit and called Tidus up while blow-drying my hair.

"_Hello?_"

"Hey, T. Just wanted to know when we're gonna meet up cause—"

"_You mean for the Bash?_"

"No, I'm talking about Rinoa's baby shower." I rolled my eyes. "What do you think I mean?"

"…_yeah…about that…I don't think I'm even going._"

"What?" I frowned. "This is about Yuna, isn't it?"

There was a pause. "_I don't think I can face her anymore. It's so embarrassing. Plus, there's gonna be all those Christmassy stuff around and—_"

"What do you think Non-Denominational means, Tidus?"

He heaved a sigh. "_I just don't feel like going._"

"Aw, come on. You can't just let one rejection get you down. You guys were friends before, right?"

"_Yeh, but you don't honestly expect me to just go up to her and act like nothing's happened!_"

"It's just one gig, Tidus. We're all going as a group anyway, so even if you guys were going on a date it wouldn't have made much of a difference."

"_But still…_"

"Yes, Tidus, I am expecting you to go up to her and act like nothing's happened. I think that's what she wants you to do."

"_How do you know?_"

"I don't. It's called taking chances."

"…_see you at six._"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Why do girls _have _to spend so much time dressing up?" Shuyin complained, rubbing his palms together to generate heat.

"Probably because they have more clothes to put on," Wakka muttered. "Or maybe because it's their time of month—"

"Why don't we go inside?" Tidus suggested. He and Shuyin were wearing their matching rainy day outfits. Wakka was wearing nothing but a T-shirt and Bermuda shorts.

"How do you manage not to feel cold?" I asked Wakka. He shrugged, just as the we heard Yuna's car park in the parking lot.

They all looked pretty sexy, I have to admit. Yuna and Lenne were dressed in their Winter version of their usual frilly Songstresses outfit, which showed off quite a lot of cleavage. Yuffie was dressed like she just came out of that annoying ninja anime in the middle of winter, and Rikku and Vanille were dressed like they were Eskimos.

But out of all of them, Kairi, of course, caught my eye the first. She was dressed as a sort of female Santa, with the red mini dress and the boots and the bobble hat and everything. To be honest, she looked good enough to eat.

"Hey, guys!" She waved her gloved hands at us, looking me in the eyes for a split-second before averting her gaze. Tidus, Shuyin and Wakka all mumbled a 'hey' back at her before she started heading into the building. I noticed Wakka checking out her butt and gave him a warning glare.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

_oh and i wanna remember this night_  
_and how my_  
_words never_  
_came out right_  
_it's just my patience that keeps_  
_me alive_  
_just_  
_like all those pretty lights_  
_just like all those pretty lights_  
_in the_  
_sky_

* * *

**Well. Another short, boring, uneventful chappie. Like I always say, the next one should be better.**

* * *

**Sneek Peek:**

"_I never believed in Santa."_

"_You kissed her?"_

"_When I was little, I always used to come up here when I was angry or sad."_

"_I'm sorry." _

* * *

**R&R, see you ne****xt chappie. **


	16. Snow

**A/N: The gap between my updates are widening by the second. I should really work on that. **

_**Reasons for my late update:**_

_**-The Naruto Shippuden Seventh (or is it the Sixth?) Season has just come out in France, and I'm kind of an avid watcher. **_

_**-The exams are in two freaking weeks.**_

_**-I'm getting baptized soon.**_

_**-I'm reading New Moon, along with several fanfics on my waiting list.**_

_**-We're unpacking.**_

_**-We're all of a sudden being invited to BBQs and lunches by all of our friends because we're leaving.**_

_**-I was watching the Hangover, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules and Big Momma 3. **_

**Even though those are completely invalid reasons for my lateness…that's all I got.**

**NoVII aka Karasu: Thanks! **

**ThatKid10001: I know I lessened the humor a bit so I could work on character development. =D Srry, I'll try and add more humor this chappie, or something. Lol, Puff Puff. Lol, good 4 u man! xD**

**Reigatsu: Don't worry! Life sucks so…yah. Trash can be recycled! HAHAHAH! You sure know how to make a guy feel better about himself! DARKNESS! ARRGGGH! Cheap food lol. I LOVE your descriptions. Sora'll appear in this chappie, I think. So you'll be happy hopefully! BOOM-BOOM-POW!**

**Skateboard: Well, Loz is the friendliest brother, in a way. Riku just speaks to him sarcastically cause he knows he doesn't have the same amount of power over him that his two other brothers do. Roxas isn't going to die, don't worry (but others will…). I try to make them more and more like their game counterparts, hence the chappie. Enjoy! (And I'll be sure to check your fic!)**

**Gxmwp: … *sweat-drops fin fright* Hehe…of course it's not Riku and Kairi…**

**Superpeanutbutter: Haha IKR? Well, apparently they are allowed, just not in the chappie or sth…meh. Riku is slowly fading into the DARK SIDE! *GASP!***

**Draco Oblivion: Thanks. Tidus is just being a douche…he's upset. Axel's watching Roxas and Namine, actually, but he did watch Riku for a bit…wonder why? (HARHAR I KNOW AND YOU DON'T LOL). Riku's just talking to Loz like that cause he's the youngest triplet and doesn't have that much authority as his other brothers over Riku, as you probably noticed in previous chappies. Enjoy!**

**Well, you guys, I've decided that I'm gonna stop including review replies in the chappies. I've decided that, although I LOVE replying to my readers, I can't risk my story being deleted. :P I'm still gonna reply, but privately from now on. 'Kay? Authors notes are still gonna be in though, so don't worry! Anyway, about this chappie: Rikai-ness to the MAX…and some SoRiku Bromance. Enjoy the chappie!**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Dad's not feeling too hot…_

He suddenly froze and clamped his hand over his mouth, stumbling off his seat and throwing up all over the kitchen sink.

_Loz' offers are starting to sound more and more appealing…_

"On the inside you'll be protected, you'll have back-up. And you'll have money. Think of all you could spend that money on."

_But I'm determined not to let that deter me._

_Especially not until AFTER the Bash. _

* * *

**Chapter 16: Snow**

We entered the large ice skating arena that was the venue of this years' Bash. The first thing I noticed was the abundance of Christmassy things decorating the arena, like holly, garlands and the dreaded mistletoe.

"Told you so," Tidus grunted as we headed to collect our shoes.

I grinned apologetically at him. "Oops."

Personally, I didn't mind mistletoe. Okay, so I'd had a few bad experiences with it in the past. Girls seemed to think that they were an excuse for me to kiss them, and tried their hardest to trap me under a bunch of mistletoe whenever possible. Since we were in a skating arena this year, I was pretty relieved since it was probably going to be harder for them to catch me.

I collected my pair of skates and strapped them on before climbing onto the rink.

Skating came natural to me, as did anything on wheels. I loved ice skating, seeing as it was the closest thing the island had to snow. I remembered vaguely the snow of Midgar, my birthplace.

Sometimes I would close my eyes and try and imagine the feel of snowflakes on my palm.

Of course, it wouldn't always last that long and I'd be dragged back into reality.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We played a few skating games, but I eventually got bored. Shuyin was busy snogging Lenne, Wakka was busy flirting with some girls on the cheer team, Selphie and the rest of the gang were off dancing, Yuna was busy talking with Tidus (!) and Kairi was trying to teach Sora how to skate.

My blood boiled as I watched them. It was like he was doing it on _purpose_, or something. Nobody could be _that _bad. I was sure he was purposely failing so that she'd spend more time with him. It _was _true that he was useless in almost every sport in existence, but skating…well. It couldn't be _that _hard, could it?

Well, apparently it was. Kairi spent quite a long time with him. Several times they ended up falling on top of each other, re-enacting some sick scene from a chick flick.

I was skating around absently and trying not to look too much like a stalker when I bumped into Fang.

She was dressed up in the outfit I'd given her for her birthday when we were going out. Her eyes were the same warm hazel color I used to be in love with. "Oh, hey."

"Hey," I murmured, giving her a half-smile. I didn't hate her anymore, but I found myself feeling uncomfortable around her most of the time. It was obvious she still had a major crush on me, judging by the way she still wore the presents I'd given her often and I caught her several times watching my lips as I talked.

Freaky.

"You alone?" She asked in her thick Pulsian accent.

I nodded, glancing at Sora and Kairi. "Yeah. What about you?"

"Mmm." She flicked at some of her hair. "I _was _actually supposed to come with my date, but he caught a cold and couldn't make it."

"Pity," I said for the sake of it. She looked slightly disappointed that I hadn't shown any hint of jealousy. I couldn't be bothered to fake in front of her anymore. I mean, we were supposed to be friends, right? And I didn't feel like saying to much; it made me feel self-conscious with the way she was staring at my lips all the time.

My eyes landed on Sora and Kairi against my volition, and I felt my fists clench in jealousy. She was holding his _hand_. _Again_. It was so irritating how she was too blind to see he was faking it all. The jerk. Okay, so I didn't _hate _the guy, but we_ were _rivals at war. It was too late to act like I couldn't skate. I wanted to do something to stop it all. She was giggling heartily, the way she only did when she was with him.

"They be getting pretty close, you don't think?" Fang commented, breaking me out of my thoughts. "It's funny how she don't mind that he's totally _not_ her type."

I gave Fang a look. She saw me looking and smiled. I couldn't read what it was, but there was something…different about that smile.

She gave them a glance before looking me in the eyes. "You'd better go get your girl." She tiptoed (which must have been pretty hard to do in skates) and whispered in my ear. "You know, before it's too late."

And then she skated off.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I knew Fang was right.

I couldn't just stand on the sidelines and watch their friendship get even tighter.

Which was why, as soon as I caught her looking at me, I called her over.

She looked at me for a bit before turning to Sora and telling him something. Sora nodded, and she helped him waddle to the barrier before coming over to join me.

"Hey."

"Hey." She searched around. "All alone?"

"Yeah," I replied, noticing our conversation was starting to resemble that of my previous one with Fang. "The others are all busy doing…stuff. Having fun?" She nodded and I continued. "Noticed you were trying to teach Him how to skate."

Kairi smiled slightly. "Yeh, well."

I started up more conversation as we started to skate. We passed Fang, who winked at me. I had no idea what she was trying to do, but ignored it. "Selphie really overdid this place, huh?"

"Yeah," she giggled. "She really has a thing for decorations. Is she, like, on every single club or something?"

I thought about it for a bit. She _did _seem to be on every club. She was in the Decoration Committee, the Yearbook Committee, the Glee Club, the Newspaper Committee, the Dance club, the Computer club, the Art club and even the Model United Nations Club; ever since I'd met her, she'd been in practically every club in existence. None of us really liked her—except for Vanille—but we felt obligated to put up with her since she was in the Songstresses and that counted for something.

"Pretty much, yeah. She figures being on every club is what'll make her popular. I, personally, think she's pretty annoying."

Kairi shrugged. "She's okay." She suddenly swerved, dodging some mistletoe. "I just wish she wouldn't put all that mistletoe in random places."

"It's supposed to be 'romantic'." I rolled my eyes, and she laughed.

"Well, I guess it could be romantic for some…" I noticed she was talking about Shuyin and Lenne, who were _still_ in the middle of sucking each other's face. It was obvious they'd already been _way_ past third base and back.

I shook my head. "The day they break up, I'm getting a haircut." Which, in other words, meant they were probably never going to break up until Death did them part. For me, getting my haircut was, like, suicide.

Kairi giggled, and I couldn't help but stare at her. Her outfit hugged her curves even more, and red was totally her color. It brought out the color of her eyes almost as much as the color green did. I couldn't help thinking how I didn't deserve someone like her. Someone like _me_ didn't deserve someone so…perfect.

Kairi caught me looking, and nervously brought her hand to a strand of wavy red hair. "What?"

"You look amazing."

It took me a while to realize I'd said it out loud, and when I saw the look on her face I was pretty glad I had. Girls liked that kind of thing. "Th-thanks."

I smiled back before deciding to launch into a different topic to cut through the rapidly-growing-awkward atmosphere. "You know…I never really believed in Santa."

"Really?" She asked, seeming surprised.

I chuckled. "Yeah. I never really got how some fat guy could travel, like, the whole territory of the world—with some six billion people living in it—in one night, accessing houses via chimney. I guess you could say 'it's magic' but…I'm the kind of guy who only believes in what I see. You know, like God."

She jutted her petite shoulders up in a shrug. "Yeh, but gravity and wind and air are invisible, but you still know _they _exist."

She was right. I'd never thought about it that way. My life was so crap I'd been an atheist ever since I'd learned how to speak. "True." I paused. "I guess…I was never told he existed, you know? My Dad…he made it pretty clear he didn't exist at Christmas. He just gave me a present and that was it. Not even a Christmas tree."

And I was telling the truth. My Dad seemed to have given up on family occasions ever since Mom left the family, or, in other words, ever since I was born. For the sake of it all, all he ever did was hand me a present, whether it be money or some other cool gadget, and that would be it. He usually spent the rest of the night drinking. Dad drank a lot.

When they were younger, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo would blame me for the disappearance of Christmas in the family. They'd say it was all my fault Dad hated them. They'd say that I'm the reason why, on a very bad day, Dad would hit them. They'd say it was all my fault Dad stopped giving _them_ presents. They'd steal my presents or throw them in the trash, and I would say nothing.

"Why not?" Kairi asked, concerned.

It was probably a good thing that some random guy bumped into Kairi from behind at that exact moment, because I was about ready to pour out my whole life story on Kairi, which probably wouldn't have been a good decision.

Since I had superhuman reflexes and everything (haha not really), I managed to catch her before she lost footing.

I glared at the bastard, who looked pretty terrified. He started babbling stupidly at us. "I-I-I'm so sorry I w-wasn't looking where I was going—"

Kairi cut him off, giggling. "It's alright. I'm accident-prone anyway."

Bastard was busy ogling Kairi, but she seemed pretty oblivious that he was checking her out. He grinned and took the liberty to introduce himself. "Sorry, anyway. I should have paid more attention. I'm—"

"—yeh we don't care," I snapped, having enough, and led Kairi away.

I didn't notice I was holding her hand until the lights dimmed and a recognizable tune began to play.

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

_Stop me and steal my breath_

_And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky_

_Never revealing their depth…_

Selphie had somehow managed to fit in the annual slow-dance thing that was usually reserved for the prom. And I'd totally forgotten about it.

As I watched the other couples stop whatever they were doing and begin to slow dance, while the other non-couples left the stage, I suddenly had an idea.

I glanced over at Kairi, who had stopped skating and was looking at me expectantly. Grinning, I took pulled her towards me in a totally practised motion and set my free hand on her waist.

And then I said: "Dance with me?"

_And tell me that we belong together_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love_

_I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above…_

It just had to be that, thanks to the several dance classes I'd taken up until I was eleven, I knew how to slow dance. It was a bit harder on ice, but I was a trained professional.

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide _

_And I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life…_

Unsurprisingly, Kairi knew how to as well—in fact, she was amazing at it. She was nothing compared to the amateurs I'd previously danced with. She wasn't some excuse of a date that was completely incapable of coordinating herself. We danced in synchronised unison; it was like our bodies were _made _for each other. I couldn't help thinking how much we resembled some couple in a Disney Princess movie.

_And I dropped out, I burned up, I fought my way back from the dead, _

_I tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said…_

Several times our bodies came so close I could see every flawless detail of her porcelain face, and I had to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there. The tugging feeling in my gut was getting a bit hard to ignore.

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide _

_And I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life…_

The song came to an end with the final note, just as I dipped her, signalling the end of our dance.

I could feel her breath tickling my cheeks as she panted. I noticed I was pretty exhausted as well.

It was then that we finally noticed that nearly everyone present had been watching us.

I cleared my throat and lifted Kairi back to her feet, releasing her thigh, I have to admit, reluctantly as she regained her footing. Kairi was blushing in embarrassment as everyone started clapping.

"WOOT! WAY TO GO _RIKU_!"

I made a mental note to kill Wakka later.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Where'd you learn to dance like that?" I asked some time later. We were sitting at a booth, sipping on our drinks—Red Bull for me and lemonade for her.

Kairi looked hesitant, gripping onto her glass with her tiny fingers. "Tap dance."

I nearly choked on my drink. "Really? Tap dance?" Kairi nodded, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter. I just _couldn't _imagine Kairi tap-dancing. Okay, so I guess everyone has a loser side.

Kairi was frowning, apparently not appreciating my laughter. "What about _you_, huh?" She snapped, miffed. "How did _you _learn how to dance all professional-like?"

I smirked at her use of words, sipping at my glass of Red Bull.

(Personally, I thought putting Red Bull in a glass was an insult in itself. Red Bull was a man's drink, right? What kind of fag put _Red Bull_ in a fucking _glass_? I glared at the waiter just for the sake of it.)

I sighed and figured it wouldn't hurt to tell her. "I did ballroom dancing, tango and all that. Up until I was eleven. Then I stopped to focus on my Blitzball 'career'."

Yeah, those were the days. Dad was intent on making me come out as a spoilt brat, which was probably why he enlisted me in every club as soon as I was old enough to walk and talk. I started taking ballet when I was four, and then I moved on to ballroom dancing when I was six. I soon started taking Latino-dancing classes, such as tango, rumba and salsa. When I was ten I started doing Blitzball, and I got so good at it that I joined the Middle School Blitzball team when I was eleven and stopped having time for dance.

Though I personally thought doing dance was pretty embarrassing and girly, Kairi seemed pretty impressed. "I can so see you going Broadway."

I laughed at that. "Nah. I'm not _that _good."

Kairi sipped on her glass of lemon, nose scrunching slightly as she took in the tangy taste. She set down her glass and tilted her head sideways curiously. "What _do _you wanna be, you know, later?"

I had to think about that. I'd always told everyone I'd wanted to be an actor, but I soon realized that was an unrealistic dream. Being a celebrity, with paparazzi left and right, with the press distributing snippets of your daily life to the whole population of the world, with your 'fans' invading your privacy and annoying you with fanmail…it just didn't seem to be what I wanted. Sure, being a celebrity had it perks, but…I'd watched too many movies to believe they outnumbered the downsides.

"Well…I've always wanted to be an actor, but…" I shook my head. "I don't see that happening."

She looked pretty surprised."Why not? I think you'd be a great actor. And singer too."

I was about to reply when someone yelled, rather loudly: "Come _on_, Sora, it's just _one _kiss!"

I spun around, looking for the person that dared interrupt our conversation. It was Snow, the bulky guy on the Blitz Team who rarely talked to me and always hung out with Sora and the rest. He was laughing, crossing his arms, observing the scene in amusement. Sora and The Weird Girl Who Played Kurunai In The School Play—Penelo, I think, if I remembered correctly—were blushing like mad, which was probably due to the fact that they were sitting under mistletoe. Selphie was stealthy enough to put some in the snack bar. I wasn't surprised.

I saw The Weird Guy In The Blitz Team Who Played Kosuke In The School Play a.k.a Vaan looking pretty irritated at the scene. It was _so _obvious he had a crush on her, if that wasn't already obvious enough by the countless times in rehersal when Vaan was too distracted to pronounce his lines because he was too busy ogling her.

Shaking my head, I was about to voice out my thoughts when I saw the expression on Kairi's face. She looked…irritated. She was frowning disapprovingly at the scene, gripping onto her glass with her gloved hands.

"You okay?" I asked, for the sake of it.

She snapped out of whatever line of thought she'd been in and looked at me with a half-smile. "Yeh…I'm fine."

I wasn't really convinced, but I nodded anyway. To be honest, I was pretty relieved she hadn't told me what she'd been thinking.

It was obvious she was jealous.

And that made _me _jealous.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We eventually got back on the ice, and it wasn't long until I started getting bored again.

I was skating around absently, ignoring giggling girls inconspicuously asking me to dance, when Kairi skated up to me. She looked pretty nervous. "Um, like, when does the Bash finish?"

I shrugged. "Well, they usually just finish after everyone goes."

"Oh." She looked around nervously. "U-Um…so when are _you _goin'?"

"I dunno. Whenever I feel like." I spotted Shuyin and Wakka making some totally unnecessary gestures behind over Kairi's shoulder. I rolled my eyes, remembering I still hadn't killed Wakka yet, before focusing on Kairi again. "Why?"

She blushed, embarrassed, and started mumbling incoherently about unrelated stuff. It was obvious what she was trying to get at, and I smirked.

"I can take you home, if that's what you're trying to say," I cut her off before she could embarrass herself any more.

She giggled nervously into her fist. "U-Um…thanks."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was raining out.

I was wearing a hood, so I was okay. Kairi didn't have a hood, but I'd forgotten my umbrella, so I couldn't really do the courteous storybook male and prevent her hair from getting soaked.

I tried not to sulk at that fact.

She didn't complain though. And plus, she looked pretty kinky with her hair wet.

Kairi had never actually been in my car, and I hoped she was impressed by the state of it. Thankfully I had cleaned it out that morning, so it was free of empty cigarette packets (left by Wakka and Shuyin and occasionally my big brothers, of course) and dirt.

Kairi seemed to like it pretty much; she was looking around wide-eyed.

I smiled fondly. "Seatbelt?"

She strapped herself in and nodded, and then we headed off to her house.

I didn't really know where she lived; I wasn't a stalker and I'd never really asked her. For some reason, we ran out of things to talk about. The ambience was awkward and I couldn't stop tapping my palms on the wheel to fill the silence.

None of us brought up The Subject. I usually would have said something cocky like "Nice legs" or something, but whenever I was with Kairi I acted totally OOC.

We did have a few trivial conversations. In which I managed to find out she liked my car, that she lived on 15th Palm Street, and that it was raining.

I had to try and ignore how cliché it all was. We were alone, in a car, in the night, in the rain.

It wasn't hard to locate Palm Street; I'd been there before, though I couldn't remember when We got to her house, which for some reason looked a lot warmer and cosier than mine—even from the outside. Her outside garden was home to several different species of flowers, which were battling against the rain. "Here?"

"Yeah, perfect." She grinned, and was about to open the door when she stopped and turned back. "Thanks, by the way."

"No problem," I breathed.

I have no explanation whatsoever for what I did next.

I leaned in, and kissed her on the cheek.

I don't know _why _I did.

Maybe it was because she looked absolutely _divine_ in the moonlight with her cheeks all flushed and her hair damp and her eyes so goddamn sparkly…

Maybe it was because I wasn't thinking straight; my heart was beating at a thousand and one miles per hour and I had this sudden adrenaline rush, the sudden urge to kiss her.

Maybe it was because we were in a moment. Maybe it was because of the clichéness of the situation.

Whatever.

It probably lasted about five seconds or less. The tugging in my gut was refusing to stop, but I managed to control my hormones for long enough to pull away and _not _start inhaling her unique scent.

The feeling disappeared when I pulled away and saw her face.

Shock.

I cleared my throat and we had one of those typical failed conversations where everyone's trying to fill the silence with completely incoherent babbles.

And then Kairi climbed out of the car, getting her hair soaked. "Goodnight."

It would have been the courteous thing to walk her to the door, but, like I said, I didn't have an umbrella. "'Night."

She smiled, shut the door, and waved, and then I sighed and zoomed off down the street.

I still couldn't believe I'd done that.

I'd _kissed _Kairi! Okay, so it was on the cheek, but…

…that counted for something, right?

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I texted the rest of the gang and said I had to crash before heading home.

I danced up the front walk, singing random songs that came into my head as I climbed the porch. I unlocked the door and pulled down my hood once I got inside the house. My shoes made squelchy noises as I headed upstairs.

"What do you _mean_ I only have five thousand munny left?"

That was Dad's voice. I froze halfway up the stairs, curious. Dad was always on the phone these days; he'd been drinking a lot more and had become a lot more irritated. I knew it had something to do with the reason why I had no Christmas presents this year.

I headed upstairs and stripped down into my nightwear (boxers) before heading downstairs to meet Dad.

He was in the kitchen, drinking, like usual. He didn't notice me enter the room. I watched for a while as he filled his glass, downed it, then filled it again, repeating the motion constantly.

When the bottle finished, he stood up to go and get another one, swaying on his feet.

"Uh…Dad?" I spoke up warily, making my presence known. "I…I don't think that's a good idea…"

He stared blankly at me. He squinted at me for a while before shaking his head and retrieving another bottle from the liquor cabinet.

"N-No, you can't…" I was tired of ignoring it all and cautiously approached him. He took no notice and popped it open, pouring himself another glass. "You're over-drinking…"

Dad suddenly turned around to glare at me. "It was you, wasn't it?" His voice was slurred.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"_You_. You think you so smart right? Hacking into my account…you fucking bastard!" He suddenly growled and slammed his glass on the table. I watched as the yellowish liquid sloshed onto the table."I give you everything, Riku! EVERYTHING! And what do I get in return?"

I was silent. "I…I don't know what you—"

He pushed me hard. I wasn't prepared and lost my footing, falling painfully backwards and hitting my back against the table. "Why? Why _you_! You lousy piece of shit!"

I winced, feeling tears pricking my eyes. It wasn't because of the fall. I didn't want to cry. I wasn't a kid. I was seventeen-going-on-eighteen; I was almost an adult.

What hurt me more than the hit was all the words he'd always wanted to say, all the insults he'd kept locked up in his mind…

I'd grown up seeing him vent out his drunken anger on my brothers, but he'd never dared touch me. Something must have really upset him to make him do what he was doing. Or maybe he was just really drunk.

His eyes were quivering; he staggered on his feet, swaying as if on water, before collapsing into a seat.

I sat there on the floor for a while, making sure he was unconscious before dragging myself to my feet. It was only then I heard how fast my heart was pounding. The sound was unusually loud.

Slowly, carefully, I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. Then I dragged Dad to the couch, set him carefully in a horizontal position, and headed upstairs.

I eventually managed to fall asleep.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I had a nightmare that night.

Okay, so most people won't really call what I had a nightmare; nothing really happened.

But that was the problem. Nothing. Just a big empty space of blank nothingness. And all of a sudden I was drowning in it.

I had no idea what the dream meant though. And that was what scared me.

I woke up the next morning sweating profusely. My back ached. I looked at the clock; it was eight in the morning. Clutching onto the damp bedsheets, I tried to level my breathing.

Shaking my head at how ridiculous I was being, I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror; I looked horrible. My hair was a mess; it was all flat on the side I'd slept. I brushed the just-woke-up taste out of my mouth before attacking my hair.

I was halfway done when someone knocked on my door.

"Riku?" It was Dad.

I stopped brushing.

"Riku are you in there?"

I stayed silent, looking at the door, praying for him to go away.

He didn't; he opened the door cautiously and let himself in. Holding my breath, I tried to look like I was busy and started brushing my hair again.

"You didn't answer me," Dad stated. He closed the door behind him. I glimpsed his face in the mirror. He looked slightly depressed. "Riku."

"About what happened last night…"

And then there was that look. The look of utter _regret_. The look that always made me want to go to the nearest beach and drown myself. It wouldn't have been hard. There were several beaches on the Destiny Islands. It wouldn't have been that hard, especially since it was winter and the tide came in earlier.

Discarding the hairbrush in the sink, I pushed past my Dad and stormed to my room, ignoring the pain in my back.

I slammed the door behind me and locked it before leaning against it. I heard Dad's footfalls, and then he started knocking.

I pulled on some headphones and turned the volume up to the loudest meter. It was Ke$ha playing, but I didn't really care as long as it blocked out the sound.

I eventually pulled them off when I realized Dad had left. The room was eerily quiet, apart from the faint sound of Eminem rapping about a mockingbird.

_I need to breath._

I needed to get some air.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"So…what happened yesterday?"

Tidus and I were sitting at a booth in Starbucks later that morning. I'd called Tidus up and since he was free he didn't protest.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sipping on my Frappuccino.

Tidus shrugged. "I dunno. You just upped and left."

"You _did _get my text, right?"

"Yeah, but I heard Wakka say you went off with Kairi." The smile I was beginning not to like started breaking out on his face. "So…what happened?"

I rolled my eyes. "Get your head outta the gutter, T. I just drove her home, that's all."

He didn't look like he believed me.

I figured it was pointless trying. "…and…and I kissed her."

He nearly choked on his drink. "You _kissed _her?" He clapped his hands. "Yeah baby!"

"I didn't _kiss her_ kiss her," I cut him off before he started embarrassing me in front of everyone. "Just, you know, on the cheek."

Tidus stopped clapping. "You serious?"

I frowned. "Yeah. I…I dunno…I just…" I decided not to finish the sentence.

Tidus sighed. "Yeah, I feel your pain." He leaned forward on the table. "I actually had a chance of kissing Yuna yesterday."

That piqued my interest. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." He scoffed down some of his cake remorsefully. "I don't know why…she was acting like nothing happened between us, you know, like she usually does. And then…" Pink crept up his cheeks. "Mistletoe."

I tried not to laugh. "Wow…really?"

"Yeah." He frowned. "This is where it gets sick. Yuna and I are standing under the goddamn mistletoe and then everyone started yelling 'Go for it, Tidus!' and 'Hurry the fuck up and kiss her man!' and then Yuna got all embarrassed and ran off." He covered his face with his hands. "This is _so _messed up."

"Oh." I felt pretty sorry for him. "It can't be that bad."

Tidus looked up to glare at me. "Yes it can." He sighed. "Look at you, man. Your love-life is all set out for you. You got the hot new chick who obviously totally wants you, while I'm stuck with this girl I've been in love with for four years who _totally _rejected me."

I huffed. "How do you know Kairi 'totally wants me', huh?"

"I don't. It's called taking chances."

I recognized my words; they seemed ancient now. "Tidus…"

"I'm telling you."

It was quiet for a while.

I tapped the sides of my cup absently. "You did see how she was all over Sora yesterday, right?"

He shrugged. "From where I was standing it just looked like she was teaching him how to skate."

"Yeah, but how do you know he wasn't just _pretending_ not to know how to skate?" I crossed my arms.

"I thought it was pretty obvious he wasn't. He couldn't even _stand_ properly." He leaned on his palm. "And, plus, I was kinda friends with him during the whole four years of middle school so I know what I'm talking about."

"Oh." Okay, so maybe he wasn't faking. "Right."

Tidus sighed. "Look, if you're really all that worried about Sora getting Kairi, you should ask her out already. It's been nearly three whole months. From what I've heard, Kairi's been spending more time with Sora than she does with anyone else."

"But what if she—"

"You fucking kissed her, man!" He practically yelled at me. "Ask her out before I get seriously fed up with you."

"Tidus—"

"We had a deal, right? I ask her out, you ask her out. I don't give a fuck if it doesn't work out for you—you're fucking trying."

He was starting to swear repeatedly now, which was usually a sign he was getting frustrated. I laughed to ease down the atmosphere. "Okay. I'll ask her out." I slipped out my phone from my pocket. "Now."

"_H-Hello?" _

My heart skipped a beat at her voice. She still sounded so close even though she was…wherever she was.

"Hey, Kai. It's me. You sleep well?" I tried not to facepalm at how retarded that sounded.

"_Um…yeh."_ She giggled.

"So…what's up?" Casual Riku, go casual.

She sounded hesitant. _"At Sora's. Watching…a movie."_

"Cool." I tried not to go over-the-top about it. At _Sora_'s? What the fuck was she doing at _Sora's_? "I was thinking…d'you mind going out to the beach on Thursday?" Straight and direct.

"_Uh…next week?"_ Kairi was quiet for a while, and I swear I could hear my heart pounding. And then she said: _"Um…okay. Great."_

I struggled not to jump for joy, although I was ecstatic. It was hard to keep my voice steady. "Great. Uh…see you on Thurday."

"See ya then."

And then she cut the call.

"She said yes!" I yelled, literally jumping up and down. I didn't really care that everyone else in the coffee shop were looking at us like we were mad.

Because I actually felt like I'd taken one major step closer.

* * *

**MEH.**

**God I hate crappy chappie endings.**

**WEEEL…this **_**might **_**be my last Apologize update until I arrive in America and get a new computer. Which is really sad for me.**

**This computer leaves on the twenty-ninth, since it's already sold anyways. **

**I will TRY and update this and the two other fics again before then, but that'll be hard. I have a feeling I may fail my French exams in two weeks, which will cost me a lot.**

**But oh well. At least you guys will be satisfied.**

**Sneek Peek:**

"_When I was little, I always used to come up here when I was angry or sad."_

"_I'm sorry." _

"_Riku I said I was sorry!"_

"_Happy Valentine's!" _

**Well…see ya…when I see ya. **

**XXX **


	17. Hope

**A/N: As I begin this, I'm not even sure if it'll be up before my computer gets taken away.**

**But I'm starting it anyway.**

**ThatKid1001: Lol, i actually lold at your puns. No matter how lame they were. xD Anyway...happy for you and your new GF! Hope your relationship ends up something like...Shuyin and Lenne's. xD Riku will go illegal, but not NOW. He doesn't really have a reason...yet. I'll be sure to try Elsword! And Fang tiptoed on ice cause...she just did. DO NOT QUESTION THE UNFAMILIAR! :O xD, just jk. **

**Superpeanutbutter: Nope...Louisiana. And, yes, i'll miss France and the naturally asshole-ish people and my congregation of JWs and my besties and my computer and my bed. But, you know, life moves on, right? I woulda ended up moving in the end anyway :P An-y-way…Riku rocks! Too bad he's gonna have the worst ending…as for the zit…watch out for this chappie! xD Also, I'll just be replying here. Lyk rite now, since you're anonymous. Well, enjoy!**

**Well…onto the chappie, guys!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I'd actually have my own seaside condominium in Tokyo. And I wouldn't have to save up pocket munny to get a laptop. And I'd totally delete Atlantica from the game series. Seriously.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Kairi and I have our very own straight-out-of-a-romance-movie moment._

Several times our bodies came so close I could see every flawless detail of her porcelain face, and I had to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there.

_I kiss Kairi. Sort of. _

I leaned in, and kissed her on the cheek. It probably lasted about five seconds or less.

_My Dad goes berserk and hits me. _

He pushed me hard. I wasn't prepared and lost my footing, falling painfully backwards and hitting my back against the table. "Why? Why _you_! You lousy piece of shit!"

_And I ask Kairi out. Finally._

"I was thinking…d'you mind going out to the beach on Thursday?"

"_Um…okay. Great."_

_I'm starting to feel that, for once in my life, all my hard work will amount to something. _

_That maybe I might just end up beating Sora after all. _

_Even if he is her best friend._

* * *

**Chapter 17: Hope **

I woke up on Thursday morning with a mega-huge zit on my forehead.

I grimaced at my reflection in the mirror. It was one of those disgusting, oozing zits, even. It was red and annoyingly huge; it looked like a mosquito had just laid its eggs on my forehead, or something.

I climbed into the shower and scrubbed myself clean with my favourite soap before working on my hair, hoping it would miraculously disappear by the time I got out. As I was brushing it down, I brought my eyes to the mirror again. Much to my dismay, it was still there.

I tried everything—from foundation to peanut butter to shaving cream—but the stupid zit stayed put.

I started to panic as the sun began to rise higher in the sky. If I didn't think of something soon, I'd end up being late on our first date, which, according to a chick magazine I'd once stumbled upon, didn't give a good impression.

I suddenly had an idea. I straightened my hair, gelled it spiky at the ends, and proceeded to work on my fringe. I made it extra long so it covered half of my face—including the zit.

Proud of myself, I dropped the brush and headed to my wardrobe.

I proceeded to put on my pick out my outfit—a tartan coat, dark jeans, comfy snow boots, a deep brown sweater. I thought of putting my hair in a ponytail, decided against it.

I was putting on some chapstick (I did make-up before dressing up—and, no, I wasn't gay) when the door slammed open. I jumped, my fingers leading the chapstick off course. I ended up having this huge pink line running from the edge of my lips up until under my ear.

"WHAT THE FUCK, KADAJ!" I yelled at my brother, grabbing a towel and furiously scrubbing at my face.

I could hear Kadaj's laughter. "Hehe, that never gets old."

I frowned into my towel, trying to keep my fists occupied.

"What's this? Riku's going out on a date?" Loz sneered. I hadn't even noticed he was there.

"What do you _want_?" I groaned. "Get the fuck out of my room."

I was suddenly yanked sideways by the arm, and found myself face to face with Kadaj. He was frowning, glaring coldly at me with his bottle green. "Watch your mouth, you piece of shit." He let go of my arm and pushed me on the chest. I managed not to lose footing and just kept glaring at him. He leaned back, giving me a sarcastic smile. "What—we can't come and see our darling little brother once in a while without being questioned?"

I decided not to answer.

"No, apparently we can't," Yazoo muttered, speaking up for the first time in, like, ever. Kadaj laughed manically, and I decided to get dressed before they started teasing my manliness.

I was pulling my sweater over my head when Loz asked: "What's that?"

I hurriedly pulled it down, making sure it covered my back fully. "Nothing."

"What's what?" Kadaj inquired.

"Nothing," I repeated, reaching for my coat. "I'm going—"

Loz grabbed my arms and held them out of reach, leaving me struggling helplessly while Kadaj lifted up my shirt.

"Ah. Yazoo, look at this."

Yazoo obeyed, and I squirmed uncomfortably as they looked at my back.

"You guys done yet?" I muttered. "I'm sure my back can't be that interesting."

Kadaj pumped his fist into my back. My back was screaming in pain. I gritted my teeth to hold back a yell. "That's quite a bruise you got there," he observed.

"Wh-what the fuck?" I winced, wriggling out of Loz's weakened grasp. "What was _that _for?"

"Language, Riku…" the eldest triplet sneered, baring his sharp teeth mockingly at me.

"How'd you get _that_?" Loz asked, intrigued.

"I…uh…tripped," I lied, not liking where this convo was heading. I pulled on my coat, pulled on my boots.

Kadaj took the liberty to sit down on my bed, cleaning his nails with my pencil. Well, it was my pencil, before I disowned it. Yazoo started rummaging through my schoolbag while Loz absently played with my Nintendo3DS.

I sighed and gave my hair one last brush before heading for the door.

Right before I closed it behind me, I turned back to them, and, with a reserved smirk, told them: "Let your boss or whoever orders you guys around know that Dad's starting to notice. You'd better stop taking out huge amounts of money unless you want to get caught."

I closed the door on their three astonished faces.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I breathed in the scent of the ocean. I watched the waves hit the shore incessantly. I smiled; I never got tired of the beach. I kept tugging at my collar nervously while waiting. What if she caught a cold and couldn't come? What if she couldn't find the beach? What if she suddenly decided she didn't want to come anymore?

I'd never been stood up. _Never_.

Which was probably another reason I was freaking out.

I calmed down when I turned around and saw her approaching. She was wearing a hoodie, jeans and winter boots. I tried to keep my eyes focused on her face and not her hips.

That's when I saw Sora. And my smile completely disappeared.

I had no idea what he was doing there, walking side by side with Kairi. Wasn't this meant to be _our _date? Sora just completely got in the way there. I couldn't really hold back a frown upon seeing him.

"Oh. Hey Kairi," I mumbled. I turned to Sora with a glare. "And…Sora."

"Glad to see you too, Riku," he mumbled into his scarf, his false smile barely hidden behind it.

It was silent for a while as Sora and I glared at each other. I couldn't _believe _him! What was with him—completely intruding our date? Unless…but…I'd made it pretty clear, hadn't I? I was so frustrated I almost punched the guy.

"So, Riku!" Kairi chirped, seemingly oblivious to the hatred emanating from the both of us. "What's so important that makes you bring us to the beach in the middle of winter?"

I sighed, frowning in disappointment. "Well…I was thinking of, you know, going for a walk…" I turned my eyes to Sora and gave him a glare. "…but I didn't know _he_ was gonna be here so…"

Sora huffed, frowned, clenched his fists. I noticed too late how hurt he looked. "Don't worry, I won't get in your way or anything," he snapped coldly before turning on his heels and heading down to the pier.

"S-Sora!" Kairi called desperately. He apparently didn't hear her, marching obliviously down to the seaside.

"That's right—fuck off," I muttered.

Unfortunately, Kairi heard.

"What is _wrong _with you?" She snapped, looking me in the eye with angry eyes. "Can't you _ever _be nice?"

I stared at her in shock. I'd never seen her angry before. I struggled not to look at her lips. "Huh?"

"You don't _have _to be so mean!" She huffed. "It's not like he wanted to come in the first place! _I _invited him!"

"And why the hell did you do that?" I made the mistake of losing my temper in exasperation. "I did kind of ask _you _to come with me to the beach, not—"

"I invited him because I wanted to, okay?" My eyes widened when I noticed she was threatening to cry.

She wiped away the tears dismissively, looking away. I suddenly felt horrible—seeing her like that reminded me of Shuyin's birthday, of the first time I'd seen her cry. It made my heart throb painfully. I wanted to make it stop.

She sighed, looking at the ground. "Sora's my best friend, and he's a really nice guy." _Like hell he is_. "I don't get why you all hate him so much—I j-just thought that if I left you guys alone you'd somehow end up becoming friends or something…I don't know." She laughed humorlessly. "That's just wishful thinking, I guess."

I was having an inner debate. Act like a total dick and ignore Kairi's heavy hints, take her out on a hike anyway and win her over with charm? Or get on Kairi's good side, act all friendly with Sora and get even closer to Kairi?

I sighed, making up my mind. "Fine. I'll…I'll go tell him I'm sorry."

"R-Really?" Kairi looked up at me with wide-eyes. It unnerved me how she thought I was uncapable of being nice. I _could _be nice when I wanted.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, I mean, if it's really that important to you."

Her face broke into a smile; my heart started beating the way it only did when I was around her. "Th-thank you…that means a lot to me."

I smiled back. "Don't mention it. I mean…" I sighed, again. "…I kinda owe him an apology anyway."

And then she hugged me.

It wasn't the first time I'd been hugged. I mean, girls usually liked hugs, and I'd had to do a lot of hugging in the past. But…no one fit as perfectly as Kairi did. I wrapped my arms around her, burying my nose in her hair. Her hair was soft; it felt like I was lying on a pillow.

A million miles away, I heard a tiny voice, and I felt her body squirm slightly. "R-Ri—"

"Ssh," I whispered. "Just…please. A little longer…okay?"

When I was hugging Kairi, I felt…safe. Like the world couldn't touch us. As a child…hugs were rare. It was then that I realized how important having a mother was in growing up. All those times I'd needed someone to hug me when I fell, to tell me it was all going to be okay, to wrap her arms around me and take away the pain…

Okay. Well. Kairi's hugs made up for all that. I was actually jealous that Sora got so many of them. I inwardly wondered how he hugged her everyday after school and still managed to stay sane.

She was warm and her smell was intoxicating. I swear I was getting high. All I could hear was the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, her breaths tickling my neck, her heartbeat thudding against my chest.

Of course, like always, the moment ended.

"U-Uh…" She pulled away and giggled nervously, looking up at me. "Uh—I'll go get us some drinks from Starbucks, 'kay? It's just down the road, right?"

I nodded as soon as I regained control of myself. "Yeah. Don't get lost. We'll be waiting."

"Right." She gave me a last, affirmative smile before heading over to the coffee shop.

Sighing, I turned around and headed down to the shore.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Sora?"

He looked up at me, his eyes widening in shock, hair going wild in the wind. Then he got over his shock and gave me a false smile. "Hey."

"Kairi went to Starbucks to get us some drinks," I explained. He nodded mutely as I sat next to him on the sand. Neither of us said a word; the silence was filled with the sound of crashing waves.

I stole a glance at him. He was looking off into the horizon, fingering the seashell in palm. He was sporting a sad smile. There was a nagging feeling in my chest; guilt. Kairi's words began to haunt me.

"_Can't you_ ever _be nice?"_

I took a deep breath, feeling I was gonna regret what I was about to do.

"I'm sorry."

He turned to me with a puzzled expression. "Sorry for what?"

I scratched the back of my head nervously, sighing. "Well…everything. Pushing you around, calling you names, making your life miserable…and all that."

He blinked at me for a while, surprised, but eventually smiled. "It's okay. No offense taken."

"It's just…it's just that I was sick of it, you know?" Words were pouring out now. "Everyone…pushing me around."

He raised his eyebrows, intrigued. "What do you mean?" He chuckled humorlessly. "No one pushes you around—you're, like, the God of Destiny College. You're the one who does all the pushing."

I rolled my eyes. So _that's _how I came off like to everyone else. Including him. He made me sound like some professional bully. "Well…frankly this isn't really any of your business, but…" I sighed, leaning on my knees. "First there's my friends, who all pushed me to become someone I'm not. Most of those pranks…they were someone else's idea."

"Then…couldn't you just have said you didn't _want _to do whatever prank you're talking about?" He asked, blue eyes probing. "I mean, they'd all listen to you and everything…"

"You don't know what they'd say about me behind my back," I snapped before I could stop myself. "I do. My reputation outside is all I really have. The sexy, bad guy Riku is the one everyone wants to see, you know?"

"What about your reputation, I dunno, inside?" He continued. "I mean, your family must know who you really are, huh?" _He had no idea_. He squirmed slightly. "And you and Tidus are pretty close, and—" He stopped when he saw the look on my face; I must have been scowling.

"Let's just put it this way: there's no one in my life who actually knows the real Riku, period," I deadpanned. I raked my fingers through my hair, trying to keep it in place. "Even I'm not sure who I am, who I'm supposed to be…" I pressed my lips together, stopping myself. "Damn, I'm starting to sound like I'm in some teen drama."

Sora seemed to like my little 'joke'. "It's okay, I get you."

I froze as I felt his arm on my shoulder. I was about to yell at him when he continued: "But…if you ever wanna, you know, talk about something…I'm all ears, aight?"

My words died away in my throat at that. I honestly had no idea what to say. Sora, the guy I'd bullied all my life for no particular reason, was opening up to me and offering me a listening ear. I really hadn't expected that from him. If it was _me _who was in his position, I would have gotten my revenge somehow. I would be throwing back insults, I'd be laughing in his face and sneering about how much his life sucked.

I would never have done what Sora was doing.

Sora was just a really, _really_ nice guy. Kairi had a point.

I found myself smiling.

"Thank you, Sora."

And it was amazing how much I meant it.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

My winter break was a bit drab. Nothing really happened. Days dragged on; it was wet and windy and no one really went outside. Tidus and the gang would sometimes come over and moan about their girl problems…but that was about it. The roads were too wet, so I couldn't ride downtown to Seventh Heaven that often. My brothers would come over, lash out at me, demanding updates on Dad, and would sometimes try to make me 'help them out' on one of their 'missions'. I'd tell them it was too wet, that I was sick, and that if they didn't leave me alone I'd probably end up dying of pneumonia. If I blabbed out to Dad about whatever they were doing, Kadaj promised I'd be sought out and slaughtered.

No winter vacation this year. For some reason, Dad wasn't in the mood.

The highlight of my winter was New Year's Eve.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I'd known the owner of Paopu Palace since I was a little kid, and she reserved us a table there on New Year's Eve. It was the Destiny Island tradition to set off fireworks at exactly New Year.

The Paopu Palace was full that night. I had to lean down to avoid several decorations; paopu fruit-shaped lanterns were hanging everywhere, and I couldn't help wishing I was short.

Party music was blasting out of the large yellow-and-green speakers, and I wheedled my way through the grinding dancers to get to my table. More than once some chick started banging her body against mine in an attempt to seduce me; I was just too bored to comply and quickly found my seat, planning on staying there for the rest of the evening.

Bored, I looked around the crowd. I spotted the girls dancing in the midst of them all, and my eyes were glued to Kairi. She hadn't seen me yet, thankfully; I didn't know what I would have done if she spotted me ogling her.

I probably started to drool when Tidus arrived.

"Hey, 'Ku!" He greeted, plonking himself down next to me. I quickly snapped out of my staring contest with Kairi's butt and looked at him, but he'd already noticed. "Ah, enjoying the view, huh?"

I whacked him on the back of his head, blushing. "Shut up, you." I paused, smirking. "Yuna's not lookin' so bad herself."

"Pfft, like I—" He was interrupted as Yuna came up to him, giggling drunkenly.

"He-eyy, TIDUS!" She chortled, grabbing his arm. "Wanna dance?"

I stared at her. Only Yuna could get drunk that fast. It hadn't even been two hours and she was already smashed.

Tidus was gaping at her, his face coloring. "U-Uh—"

"C'mon *hic* I know you _want _toooo…" She hiccupped again, leaning down to whisper something in his ear. Tidus looked like he was about to pee on himself.

I laughed. "Guys, get a room, will you?" I pushed Tidus off the seat, letting him get dragged off by Yuna. "Have fun!"

I watched in amusement as Tidus struggled not to pin Yuna to a wall and start kissing her. It was obvious he'd think that if he took advantage of her he'd be betraying their friendship, or something. Tidus had his playboy side, but around Yuna he was a saint.

My eyes eventually got bored; I started searching the room for Kairi. She was nowhere to be found.

"Looking for Kairi?" Ashe leaned on the booth, tapping on the table with her manicured nails. "She said she went to the bathroom, but it's obvious she's off to find Sora."

For a second, excitement burned in my stomach—I hadn't seen Sora for more than two weeks. And then it died and jealousy and annoyance took over. "Ugh. Serious?"

She nodded, blowing large pink bubble and sitting next to me. I flinched as she started playing with my hair. "So…what you been up to?"

I mumbled something incoherent, but she giggled anyway. It was obvious she was smashed as well, though she held her alcohol a lot more expertly than Yuna. "So…wanna have some fun?"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Uh, Ashe? I think you've maybe drunk a little too much…"

She giggled lightly, her hands exploring moving down my chest. "So what? It's New Years in less than an hour!" Her palms drifted all the way down to my thigh. "How about we give it a shot? For old times' sake?"

I was about to say something in protest when she suddenly crashed her lips into mine and started kissing me. She tasted of drink and bubblegum, and I realized with horror that she still hadn't disposed of her bubblegum yet.

Thankfully, Selphie arrived just in time to free me from a drunken Ashe's clutches.

"Ashe-chan, didn't you want to show me that…that cool spot you found?" Selphie asked, pulling her away by the arm and giving me an apologetic grin. I smiled thankfully at her; I was starting not to hate her as much as I used to.

I called for a glass of lemonade and downed it to stop me throwing up. Kairi arrived at that moment, Sora in tow. I smiled at Kairi and gave Sora a scowl, hiding how happy I was to see him. It irked me how hard it was to do that.

Kairi looked like she was about to sit down next to me, but Yuna called her over and she had to leave.

"Kairi came back from her bathroom break with _you _in tow," I drawled as a waitress arrived with a plate of fruit. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Missed me?" He gave me a smug grin, helping himself to some fruit as he sat down next to me.

I rolled my eyes, mimicking his actions. "My life would be a whole lot more peaceful if you weren't in it."

He chuckled boyishly. "I know right? Imagine how _boring _that would be."

I shook my head at his joke, holding back a smile and trying to look annoyed. It was hard to ignore the fact that I enjoyed Sora's company. For some reason, Sora brightened up the boring holiday.

We didn't speak for a while, just smiling at each other whenever our gazes met and regarding the grinding couples.

I was wondering whether Shuyin and Lenne were drunk or not when I heard someone squeal.

"Oh. My. GOD!"

It was Selphie, what a surprise. I leaned on my palm in boredom, swallowing absently at the piece of fruit I'd just consumed. "What?"

She giggled girlishly. "You know how the legend goes: '_If two people share a Paopu Fruit, their destinies become intertwined_'."

I rolled my eyes. "And? What does that have to do with me?"

A saccharine grin broke out on her girlish features. "You just shared a Paopu Fruit with Sora."

It took me a while for that to register.

And then I blurted: "WHAT?"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It took me a while to get the taste of sweet vomit out of my mouth. Yes, I threw up chunks of Paopu, and I have to blame that on my weak stomach.

My burning throat only added to my irritated mood.

A Paopu fruit! I couldn't believe it! I wasn't the one to believe in just anything, seeing as I'd grown up believing in nothing at all…but everyone needs _something_ to cling on to, right? _I shared a Paopu with Sora…aren't our lives already as tangled up with each other as they can get?_

"It's just a stupid legend…" Sora mumbled, hugging his knees. I managed to get us some places near the seashore; there were a bunch of giggly freshmen girls who were more than delighted to give us their place.

"Yeah, Sora's got a point," Kairi added, patting him on the back. I gave her a sour look; she'd been laughing at us ever since Selphie'd told her. "It's just a myth…you know, it's not like you guys are _actually _gonna be 'intertwined'—"

That set her off again, and Sora and I rolled our eyes.

She settled down and sighed, leaning on her knees. The moonlight shone on her vibrant red hair that fell loosely against her shoulders. As I struggled not to stare, I noticed Sora was doing the same, and gave him a glare when his eyes met mine.

"For the last ten seconds, the Destiny Island tradition is to start a countdown." I was the one to break the silence, for lack of anything better to do.

"Really?" Kairi asked, turning to me with intrigued eyes. I'd figured she was interested in that kind of…thing.

"Well, you could put it that way," Sora put in with a chuckle. His blue eyes shone when he looked at Kairi. "It actually all started when a bunch of teenagers had too much to drink twenty years ago. Since then, everyone thinks it's a tradition to countdown till the New Year."

"Haha, well." She shrugged and grinned back at him before falling back on the sand. I tried not to think about how much damage that would do to her redwine hair. She suddenly gasped, pointing at the sky in awe. "You guys! Try this!"

Sora and I exchanged puzzled looks before obeying, and, I admit, the view took my breath away. Midnight blue—a blue so deep it made the stars glow. Now I wasn't usually a sucker for that kind of thing, but…

"Wow…" I found myself whispering. "I could get used to this."

I heard Kairi sigh wistfully; it sounded so far off yet so close at the same time. "I don't think I ever will."

"_Ten!_"

Automatically, we all began the countdown at the top of our lungs. Usually, like every year before that, I would have spent the New Years countdown downing drinks like hell with the guys at the Paopu Palace. This would usually result in a hangover the next morning; something I wasn't supposed to be getting at that age anyway. I'd always thought it was fun, but…

…as I lay there in the sand next to Sora and Kairi, I realized that this was way, way better.

"_Five!_

_Four!_

_Three!_

_Two!_

_One!_

_HAPPY TWO-THOUSAND-AND-ELEVEN!"_

Fireworks erupted in the midnight sky, illuminating the deep blue with a kaleidoscope of colors. Kairi and Sora were laughing like hell, rolling about on the sand like little kids. I couldn't help but smile at them, which was totally OOC of me.

Whatever. I was _always _OOC whenever I was around them.

Sora and Kairi.

Somehow our hands found each other, and we just stayed there gazing into the firework-lit sky in bliss. I closed my eyes, inhaling the deep sea breeze, wishing for the moment to never end.

I believe that that was the moment that brought us three together. The moment that held us three intertwined.

The moment that began our friendship.

* * *

**OH HELL YEAH! **

**Finished this CHAPPIE! WOOT!**

**School's over, finally. Which ROCKS.**

**I'm absolutely positive this is gonna be the last chappie until…well. Until I get to the USA and get a new computer and all. Phew.**

**I really, really hope you guys enjoy this scrappy, rushed chappie. I might come back and redo it, if I see the need to. **

**Read. Review. **

**I'll be thinking of you on the plane. Heck—I might even be writing the next chappie! **

**Haha. Peace out, suckahs. **

**P.S: Oh, and check out the poll! Even though i'm pretty sure I know who's winning xD**


	18. Falling to Pieces

**A/N: HEEEY. It seems like it's been ages since the last update! Whoo…I miss writing about Riku just as much as I miss writing about Sora. Ah. This is a breather. **

**How's school been? Okay. Still looking for best friends as amazing as my old ones. :P I've managed to borrow 'The Hunger Games' from my school library, so yay me. I've always wanted to read the series…everyone says the books are awesome! And I need to explore literature…**

**Recently I've been addicted to watching FRED videos on YouTube. *facepalm* And, I'm totally hyped up that my favorite female artiste—TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT—is coming to New Orleans in October! WOOT! **

**Well…onto the chappie I guess.**

**About the chappie: Some physical abuse (awww), Sora/Riku Bromance (FTW!), RiKai (WOOT WOOT) and…uh. Brace yourself for darkness galore. **

**Disclaimer: Blah blah don't own blah blah.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Sora ruins my first date with Kairi…_

I had no idea what he was doing there, walking side by side with Kairi. Wasn't this meant to be _our _date?

_We have a little talk._

"Even I'm not sure who I am, who I'm supposed to be…" I pressed my lips together, stopping myself. "Damn, I'm starting to sound like I'm in some teen drama."

_And I have the best New Years ever. _

Somehow our hands found each other, and we just stayed there gazing into the firework-lit sky in bliss. I closed my eyes, inhaling the deep sea breeze, wishing for the moment to never end.

_But good moments never last long. I've learnt that from experience._

* * *

**Chapter 18: Falling to Pieces**

The winter holidays dragged on painfully slowly. Every day single fucking day I had to face my Dad's hissy fits, his verbal abuse. Hitting me became sort of routine for him—if his day sucked, he took it out on me. Since his days generally sucked, I generally got beaten up.

It was never really severe—just a few slaps and shoves, so I could always get back up on my feet. The physical scars eventually faded, but the emotional scars were impossible to erase.

I got my worst beating up on the last Wednesday of winter holidays.

It was at dinner, no one but Dad and I at the dinner table, as usual. We were having lukewarm pot noodle soup, and it smelt like grease for some reason.

This particular night, I was in a pretty suckish mood. I don't know what it was—the crappy weather, the fact that my favorite shirt had come out grayish-blue instead of white, or the fact that there was the stupid Spongebob marathon on TV and I couldn't find the remote—but for some reason, this particular night I was in a bad mood. Which was probably why, before I could stop myself, I dared say the forbidden.

"Dad, I want to move out."

He stopped eating, fork freezing halfway to his mouth. At first I thought he was thinking about it, but when his dark eyes met mine, I realized he already had.

"No." He returned to eating, brushing my request off completely.

"Yes, dad." I retorted. "I'm almost eighteen, a legal adult, and—"

"Riku, you're not leaving." His frown deepened.

"Look, I was thinking of, you know, withdrawing all the allowance you've given me, and maybe then you could help me a little—"

His face darkened. "Riku, you're seventeen years old."

"Eighteen in three months," I snapped. "And, whatever, I can take care of myself."

"No you _can't_. The world's a dangerous place out there, you could—"

"I know the dangers."

"Think about your safety—"

"Nothing could be better for my safety than getting out of this hellhole."

I knew I'd crossed a line when I saw the look on Dad's face. To say he was angry as hell would be an understatement.

"What did you say?"

His ominous glare scared me more than ever. I suddenly understood how Sora had felt whenever I bullied him. He grabbed my arm, nails digging relentlessly into my skin. His squeezing got tighter and tighter, and I struggled to hold back a groan.

This time, however, I was determined not to succumb to his dominance. I was tired of him treating me like shit.

"I said, anywhere is better than this _shithole_. I'd rather die than live any longer with _you_."

Saying that was probably one of the biggest mistakes in my life.

Dad went crazy. He punched harder than he'd ever punched me before, he pushed me into everything and anything. He taunted me, chided me, mocked me, told me to get up and defend myself, to prove I was ready for 'the real world'.

All the while, I pushed my teeth together to hold back my screams, determined not to show pain. I'd thought that maybe it was my cries that fueled his anger. I knew I was probably wrong, but I had no idea what to do anymore. I could do nothing but shield myself as much as I could, before eventually giving up and just praying he would stop.

It felt like forever before he finally stopped.

Pulling me up with my collar, he slammed me against the wall harshly, staring into me with his teal-cyan eyes. I couldn't believe I was looking at my Dad. I didn't even know who he was anymore. I couldn't be related to _this _person.

"Listen, you worthless piece of shit," he spat, fingers digging even deeper into my bruised skin. "If you so much as _ask _about anything related to moving out, I will make you wish you hadn't."

He gave me one last shove before leaving me aching on the cold, hard floor.

I lay there for hours on end, my arms and legs numb with pain and exhaustion. I knew I'd hit my head pretty hard, but I didn't feel any blood there, thankfully. My back ached, and it took me a while to get up.

I had a feeling I wasn't going anywhere the next day.

When I eventually got to my room, I limped to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My right cheek was swollen, the area around one of my eyes was purplish-blue, and my bottom lip was busted. I must have bitten way too hard.

Sweat stuck the silver strands of my fringe to my forehead. My right ankle felt like it was on fire, and when I looked down I realized it was swollen. My left arm was deeply bruised, as I expected.

It was gonna be hard to cover _that _up.

The pain and the sadness converted into rage pretty quickly. Silently, tears of rage started running down my face, I kicked and slashed at everything I got my hands on, throwing random objects across the room to cool my anger.

I wildly ransacked my room until I ran out of breath and energy, collapsing painfully against my bed. I groaned, but I was too exhausted to move. I felt pathetic. Here I was, practically eighteen years old, Blitzball captain, King of Destiny College…and I couldn't do anything against my Dad. All I could do was let him hit me until he was satisfied, praying he didn't do any critical damage.

I now knew moving out was out of the question. Dad obviously disapproved greatly, and, plus, I was broke apart from the measly pocket munny I had left.

As if on cue, a breeze blew in from the open window, and my wardrobe flitted open.

And, suddenly, I remembered.

There was only one way to get munny if I wanted a house of my own.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was very reluctant to go to school on Monday. I had had the worst winter holidays in history, my arm still ached, I hadn't had a blink of sleep and I hadn't done any of my homework.

Most of my bruises were covered—I was forced to use foundation to cover up the fading bruise around my eye—apart from the bruise on my arm. It looked pretty ugly and I was thinking of some cool lie I could tell everyone when someone knocked on my door.

Two seconds later, my three older brothers were making themselves at home in my bedroom.

"Woah, someone's been in a fight," Kadaj commented as soon as he saw my bruises.

I ignored his comment. "What are you guys doing here? I've got school in half an hour."

"Wait, you're still going to school?" Kadaj joked, absently tossing my Blitzball to Yazoo.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'd like to have a future. I don't want to end up with some lowlife job like…some people I know."

"Hah. Yeah. Funny." Yazoo chided. "At least _we've _got bucks."

I struggled to ignore them.

"Anyway, we actually came to let you know that…our boss wants to see you."

I nearly yanked off a whole wad of hair. "Wh-what?"

"Yeah, somehow he got to know about our little 'sticky situation'…" Kadaj made speech mark signs with his fingers. "…and he's interested. In you. And your…potential."

"How the hell does he know about me?" I snarled, freaking out. I was not at all interested in getting 'friendly' with 'the Boss'. "Well tell him I'm not interested."

"Oh no, you don't just 'ignore' Xehanort," Loz put in, finally raising his voice. "Not if you want to stay alive."

"Well sorry but I didn't ask for any of this shit!" I snapped. "I have _no _'potential' as a drug dealer!"

"What happened to your arm?"

I clamped my mouth shut. "Nothing."

Loz frowned. "That ain't nothing, man."

Kadaj sighed. "Hey, leave him alone; he says it's nothing, it's nothing."

Loz shut up, thankfully. I pulled on my sleeve, covering it as much as I could, and picked up my bookbag. Kadaj stopped spinning around on his chair, calling after me.

"You'd better be back by four."

"Don't wait up on me."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The dark cloud hanging over my head was still there during school. For some reason, the girls wouldn't leave me alone—I remembered Yuna saying some girls like grumpy guys.

I guess you could say I was grumpy.

Tidus wasn't in such a good mood either that day. I found out why not too long after.

"Riku? I'm starting to wonder whether Yuna likes me like you say she does."

I was honestly not in the mood for listening to his girl problems, but I didn't say anything like that. "Why? I think it's pretty obvious."

He sighed, leaning on the desk. "Well I don't. I'm just confused. She says she doesn't want me, but then she's all over me on New Year's Eve."

I sighed at how clueless he was. "Look, she's a girl, and most girls like the whole 'Prince Charming', 'Knight in Shining Armor' approach. In my opinion, she's scared you were kidding, especially since you just went and brushed it off. You've got to bring it up again. You've got to _prove _to her you're The One, confess your undying love for her."

"Riku, my friend, I think that's probably one of the cheesiest things you've ever said."

I forced a laugh.

He frowned, thinking about it. "What do you propose I do? You know, I can't exactly rent a white stallion and"

I rolled my eyes. "Look, I'm not the one who's been crushing on her for years and stalking her on Facebook."

"I do not—"

"You know what she likes, right? You think of something."

He paused, thinking. And then he broke into a smile. "I know. I'll join the glee club."

The bell rang before I could protest.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The dark cloud still hadn't gone by Literature.

We were doing some crapazoid Shakespeare play about 'racial prejudice, trust and friendship'.

I was falling asleep already by now, catching up on the sleep I'd lost the previous night as I leaned on the desk.

"_Hey_," Sora whispered, interrupting my sleep. "_Riku?_"

"_What?_" I croaked. He blinked in confusion. "_Shut up and leave me alone_."

"_Rough night?_" He asked, persistant. That was something Sora had in common with Tidus—he didn't just listen to anything I said unless he thought it was completely necessary. Sometimes this was something I liked, other times it was downright annoying.

I sighed, propping myself up on my elbows. He'd already woken me up; there was no point in trying to ignore him. "Y_ou could put it that way._"

He chuckled, as if it was fucking funny. "_Yeah well…how was your holiday?_"

I couldn't look him in the eyes. "_Please don't ask._"

"_Okay._"

He gave me a small smile, tapping on my desk, the way he always did. He was the kind of guy who had to be doing something with his hands or feet—he couldn't just stay put for one minute.

He was starting to create a catchy beat when suddenly he stopped, his eyes narrowing. "_What happened to your arm?_"

My hand automatically flew up to tug on my sleeve. "_None of your fucking business_."

I apparently barked a bit too loudly, because before I knew it I was given a punishment of ten lines on some lame Shakespeare character. I honestly felt like ripping out Genesis' balls—I was in such a fucked up mood and he'd just made it worse.

But, not wanting to make any more trouble than I already had, I simply nodded. "Yessir."

When Genesis turned his back, Sora attempted to apologize, but I ignored him. I wasn't really in the mood for talking to him.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

At lunch, my mood worsened.

Everyone seemed eager to burst my bubble, to invade my privacy. They wouldn't quit asking what happened to my arm, as if it was the first time they'd seen a bruise. Probably because they'd always believed I was flawless, unbreakable. For a long time it had seemed that way. I was the guy who managed to make it out of a gruesome Blitzball match without a scratch. I was the only guy in my group of friends who hadn't broken a bone, and everyone believed I was gonna be a model when I grew up.

Honestly, I didn't give a shit about modeling, but it irked me the way everyone thought I didn't have flaws. The cheerleaders were annoyingly gushy that day as well. As soon as they heard that I'd crashed on my motorbike (lie, of course), they all insisted on 'helping out' in some way or another, as if I had broken my skull and not just bruised my arm.

Fang was the one that got them to stop, swearing to kick them off the team if they didn't stop bothering me.

I forced a smile, trying to thank her without having to do much.

I felt Kairi's eyes on me, and flinched slightly at her intense gaze. Her eyes were probing, demanding, caring. The emotion in her eyes was so deep, so passionate, so—

"You coming to Blitzball practice?"

Wakka and the rest of the team were staring at me with searching eyes, probably wondering why I hadn't contributed a single bit to the conversation.

"Uh…" I swallowed. "Nah. I think I'll pass."

Shuyin frowned. "But, 'Ku, the game's in less than two months—"

"I said I'll pass, **alright**?" I snapped, totally losing my temper. I'd managed to catch the attention of everyone on the table, and they were all staring at me in shock.

And then I met Kairi's eyes. And I couldn't take it anymore.

I pushed myself up from my seat, storming out of the cafeteria.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

None of them dared talk to me for the rest of that day, nor the next. It made sense, the way I'd blown up on them.

This was very wise of them, especially in Drama on Tuesday. Seeing my Dad just made my mood hit rock bottom.

He ordered me around like everyone else, acting completely normal. Not even bothering to apologize for nearly killing me the previous Wednesday. He was in a bad mood though, and I gave myself a mental note to stay out of his way.

He had different plans, however. To begin the lesson, he called Fang and I up to practice the 'Introduction to Darkness' scene. He'd chosen an upbeat song with way too much electric guitar in it, but Fang seemed to be having the time of her life.

Don't get me wrong; I thought Fang was pretty sexy and all, but…something just felt wrong. I don't know whether it was the way Dad refused to see the pain I was feeling inside, or the way all my friends were gossiping about me behind my back, or the fact that I hadn't talked to Sora or Kairi for quite a long time…

…but for some reason, I snapped.

Our bodies were millimeters away from touching each other when I pushed her away. "Enough already, Fang!"

My voice echoed uncannily across the hall. Everything felt wrong. I was breathing way too fast, my heart was thudding crazily against my chest, I was sweating like a pig…

I met Fang's pained eyes and felt horrible. She didn't deserve that—there was no need for me to take my anger out on her.

My eyes traveled to my 'friends'. Tidus was shaking his head, Shuyin was whispering something to Wakka, and the girls were just staring at Fang, eyes full of pity.

Kairi's eyes were strangely…smug.

Sora eyes—surprised.

And then my Dad, his eyes blank, not showing any emotion. Suddenly I was eager for him to show emotion, any emotion, and I didn't know why.

Suddenly, I felt sick.

"Fuck this."

Giving Fang one last, apologetic look, I ran out of the Drama Hall.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I had no place to run to except outside.

I ran as far as my tired legs could take me, racing around the campus blindly, just trying to get _away_. Of course I knew I couldn't just run out of school—plus, I was too tired—so I ended up collapsing behind the Arts building.

I have to admit—I cried a little. I tried to will myself to stop the fucking tears, but they wouldn't stop. I must have sat there crying for nearly five minutes. I felt weak, pathetic.

I suddenly wanted my Mum.

I wanted someone to hug me when I was sad, to kiss me when I was hurt, to lecture to me about girls.

Babyish, but true.

I heard footsteps approaching. I knew it would be smarter get up, but I honestly didn't care if I got caught. So what if I got detention? Not that I would get one. My Dad and his five-foot sword had made that impossible.

If I'd been focusing more I probably would have known it was Sora. I could recognize his weird, unique way of walking any day.

"Riku?"

I couldn't be bothered to answer. I tried to scowl at him, wondering what he was doing stalking me like that, but I was too tired.

He cautiously approached me, gradually making his way closer until he was sitting down next to me, his feet crunching the gravel. I couldn't be bothered to tell him to fuck off.

"Time flies, huh?" He chuckled, trying to start a conversation.

It was then that I realized where we were. We were exactly where we had been when I'd beat up Sora to threaten him from going anywhere near Kairi.

I nodded quietly.

Looking back, I realized how much of a douche I'd been in the near past. I'd been cocky and self-centered (and I still probably was), and, most importantly, a bully. Though my main target had always been Sora, I'd pushed down anyone and everyone who got in the way, who annoyed me, and sometimes even people I didn't even know or care about.

Then a realization hit me—I was just like my Dad. A fucking splitting image of my fucking Dad.

I closed my eyes, leaning against the brick wall, trying to will the images out of my head.

"You okay?"

Sora's question brought me back to reality. I inhaled deeply, eyes still closed. "What a stupid question, Sora."

"Sorry."

I started feeling guilty, and looked at him with a sigh. He was idly playing with the gravel, trying to look like he was busy. "Look…I'm just in a really fucked up mood right now."

"I can see that," Sora agreed. He glanced at me and his face broke into a carefree smile. "Care to elaborate?"

I figured I owed him one. I didn't really know how to start. "You know Sephiroth?"

He arched an eyebrow. "You mean the guy we see every single day in homeroom and the guy we're frequently tormented by in Drama? Mm…I think the name rings a bell."

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes at his thick sarcasm. "Yeah. Well. He's my dad."

Sora was taken aback. "What?"

He chuckled weakly, pretty amused by his reaction. He was the second person I'd told, apart from Tidus, (Well, I hadn't really _told _Tidus, but he'd guessed after seeing my Kadaj.) and his reaction was much more amusing. Tidus had just nodded, taking it in quietly. He had seemed unsure of what to do. Well, yeah, because I barely talked about my family. Nobody else in our group even knew where I lived.

"Yeah." I pressed my lips together. "And you're the first one to know." Well, not really…but I guess I owed it to him to make him feel special.

Sora nodded slowly, taking it in. And then he started laughing. "Dude! That is _so _awesome! Why haven't you told anyone else?"

I cleared my throat, racking my brains for some excuse. "Well…several reasons, I guess. I mean, first of all there's the thing about favoritism, then there's the issue of my dad being a psycho, and then…" I stopped myself before I started revealing all my secrets I'd held in for so, so long.

Sora sighed, shaking his head. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna."

I looked at Sora, with his sympathetic smile and his welcoming eyes. This was the guy I'd bullied ever since kindergarten. This was the guy I'd tormented, kicked, who's head I'd stuck down the toilet, who's clothes I'd ruined repeatedly, who's hair I'd made fun of…

The list went on. Sora had been my punch-bag for as long as I could remember.

But he'd also been the listening ear, the encouraging friend, the light in the darkness. The guy who'd taken the extra step to skip class just so he could make sure I was okay.

Who the hell _was _this guy?

This was the guy who was best friends with my crush.

It was at that exact moment that I found myself actually getting intimidated.

I sighed, giving him the best smile I could manage. "No. I want to."

He didn't seem to be expecting that.

Ignoring the shocked look on his face, I began to tell him. "My mum died on the day I was born. My Dad and my siblings fucking hate me for it." I swallowed. "You know what I said about everyone pushing me around…?"

He nodded.

"Well…I was mostly talking about my brothers," I mumbled. "They've hated me ever since I was born." I laughed bitterly at the ridiculousness of it all. "I was angry, but I could never do anything to stop them from making my life hell." I sighed. "Which was why I—"

"…vented out all your hurt on me, huh?"

I looked at him. He was so…_understanding_. His eyes suddenly glazed over and he looked away. I think I detected _guilt_. What did he have to be guilty for?

"I'm…I didn't know," he whispered.

I nodded. "Of course you didn't. You're the first person to know, actually."

"And I'll make sure I'll be the last." He grinned brightly. "Your secret—or should I say _secrets_—are safe with me."

And for some reason…I believed him.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Dad came back a lot earlier than usual that day. And what surprised me the most was that he wasn't drunk.

He wasn't frowning when he came in, but he did when he saw me. It wasn't really an angry frown—it was a sad frown.

I immediately knew what was coming.

"Look, Riku—"

"I don't want to hear it."

He opened his mouth, closed it, sighed. I returned my attention to the TV, where the American congress was discussing their financial problems. I didn't give a shit about politics, but I had to make myself look busy so he'd just go off and leave me alone.

He didn't.

"Riku…I know what I did was wrong but—"

"If you knew it was wrong then why did you do it?" I blurted out against my will.

The air was thick with tension, and Dad's eyebrows scrunched together in a frown. "I…" He sighed. "I just couldn't stand the thought of you leaving and…" His voice died when he saw the murderous look on my face.

"You think staying here with you is any better than me leaving?" I growled. "If I hadn't been lucky, you could have _killed _me that day."

Dad's lips pressed together, and he frowned. I realized I was breathing heavily, and my throat had tightened. The emotion in his eyes was there—not quite love, not quite hate—just this combination of them both. The regret in his eyes that had tormented him ever since I had been born was present too, his eyes speaking louder than anything.

And then he sighed deeply, walking straight past me, his long silvery hair flowing. And then he said: "You are not leaving this house. Ever. You hear me?"

And then he slammed the door to the living room, shutting me out.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I didn't even realize when I'd started reaching the dark end of town.

I was so locked up in my own mind, so damn oblivious to everything around me, that I nearly bumped into someone.

I looked up at the guy, and my breath was knocked out of me.

He was at least two heads taller than me, which was something. He had long ebony-black hair, and his face was pale and sinister. The thing that struck me as shocking was his deep bloodred eyes.

It was obvious he wasn't from here. He was wearing cargo boots, dark jeans, and a tattered cloak, which, because of the impending weather, no Islander would ever wear. Winter lasted practically two weeks, and after that, the sun started working again. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold enough for cargo boots either.

"E-Excuse me," I muttered, tearing my eyes away from his freakishly red ones.

I tried to sidestep him, but he didn't let me. "Who're you and what're you doing here?"

Taken aback and slightly irritated by his frankness, I frowned. "None of your business."

He frowned, his red eyes glowing. "Wrong answer."

It was only then that I realized where we were, and that, in these parts of town, being mouthy to random strangers is not advisable. "I…" I swallowed, trying to hide how scared I was. Kadaj had taught me that 'out in the wild', hiding emotion was vital.

I took a step back and frantically searched the area for anything, anyone that could help me. "I…"

Suddenly he grabbed my wrist, eyes so intensely fire-red they could have been searing holes in my flesh. "Who sent you?"

I panicked. "N-No one, I didn't know where I was going, I promise—"

"This is our territory, punk," he snapped, teeth sharp and blinding white. I struggled to snatch my hand away from him as I saw him reach into his cloak—

"Yo, Vince!"

'Vince' spun around, but still didn't let go of my arm. I realized with horror that he was still holding the knife as well.

"Hey, I caught this punk skulking around on our turf," 'Vince' continued, giving me a dirty look.

"Whoa." Never before had I been so relieved to see Kadaj. "Yo, that's my brother, you fucktard!"

'Vince' turned to look at me. His eyes widened slightly. "Really? This is your brother?"

Kadaj laughed. "Yeah. He is." He whacked Vince's arm away, giving me a knowing grin. And then he turned back to Vince, who was now frowning in confusion. "And, plus, you don't go threatening random strangers just cause they wandered onto our territory."

Vince crossed his arms, finally taking his eyes off me. "Well that's how it was back where I came from."

Kadaj ignored him, turning to me. "Lemme guess—you finally came to your senses and—"

"Just show me the guy so I can go home already," I mumbled, already doubting my decision. I'd just been threatened by a freaky tall guy with a knife, and my stomach was already protesting.

Kadaj grinned, shaking his head, and then he turned to Vince. "Riku, Vincent; Vincent, Riku."

"Hey," I blurted.

"Hn," he grunted.

"Kid wants to see the boss," Kadaj explained.

"You mean 'the boss' wants to see me. I have no interest whatsoever in—"

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The uncertain feeling only got bigger as we got deeper into the ghetto. The stench of dried blood and vomit filled the alleyways, and everyone we passed gave me weird looks. Obviously, everyone knew everyone around here, and anyone new was a threat.

"Stick with me and they'll stay outta your ass," Kadaj whispered. He was acting strangely nice today, like he'd been waiting for this moment for his whole life. He also kept grinning at me, walking with a rhythm, like a little kid impatient on his way to Disneyland.

Vince, who I'd learnt was called Vincent, was silent for the whole trip. Kadaj explained that they'd found Vincent some days ago, fighting off some gangsters from the opposing gang, and he'd been such a good fighter they couldn't let him get claimed by the XIII.

I yawned.

Vincent didn't say anything to me for the whole trip, just following us quietly. I tried not to catch his eyes—they freaked me out.

We eventually got to a run-down building I'd never paid attention to in the past. The paint was peeling, and it was hard to say whether it was supposed to be brown or green. The door was rusted and wouldn't stop swinging, as if some invisible guy was having fun pushing it back and forth.

Inside was worse. It stank of sweat and urine, and I was sure it couldn't be healthy to roam this part of town every day. I inwardly wondered what the heck the mayor was doing with all the bucks flowing out of his pockets.

I swear my life flashed before my eyes at least seven times as we ascended the creaky, rusted stairs. 'The Boss' lived up top. _Of course. _

My stomach tightened at every step I took. What was I doing? There had to be some other way to get munny. I could get a part-time job, sell cookies or something, if it got to that. I could be nice to my Dad and beg him to give me pocket munny, or—

It was too late. We'd arrived at the door.

Kadaj rapped on the door, and after a while the door opened. A guy opened the door; he couldn't have been older than me. I swore I'd seen him before…

"Boss' here?" Kadaj asked, not even waiting for an answer.

While they conversed, I took my time to check out the surroundings. It was oddly well-kept, in contrast with the rest of the building, the rest of the area even. The floor was carpeted, the walls were painted, and there was even an antique clock at the end of the hallway. The flat contained no more than two rooms, and I presumed there were no more than the Boss' room and a bathroom.

I couldn't imagine a criminal mastermind living in this kind of place.

"C'mon," Kadaj urged, giving me a nudge. I obediently advanced, the carpet muffling the footfalls. Kadaj knocked on the door, said something I didn't hear, disappeared inside, and then reappeared. "Get in."

I obeyed, entering his 'office'.

The office was even more shocking. There was a plush wooden desk smack bang in the middle of the room, with a comfy-looking office chair. The floor was carpeted, dark green, there were several expensive paintings on the walls, and there was a shelf stacked with books. I had a feeling his desk was filled with everything and anything related to all his followers.

Then I saw him. 'The Boss.' Xehanort.

My stomach lurched when I met his startling amber-gold eyes.

He was bald, the only hair visible being his short silver goatee, primly cut. He was wearing an expensive looking suit, and had a cigarette hanging from his lips. Everything about him screamed sophisticated. (I don't know why, but there's something about a guy with a cigarette that made him look instantly sophisticated.) He looked like he liked getting down to business.

He had a creepy smile playing on his lips, and for some reason I felt intimidated.

"You must be Riku, hm?" He looked from Kadaj, to me.

I managed to choke out an answer. "Yeah. I mean, yes. I mean—" I stopped myself.

Xehanort nodded slowly. "Right. You're the youngest sibling of Kadaj?"

I nodded dumbly, not liking the controlling effect his eyes had on me.

"Hm." He leaned on the table, fingers crisscrossed. "I assume Kadaj has informed you of the reason why I called you here?"

I didn't really know how to answer that one. I turned to Kadaj for help, but he just shrugged. "Uh…well not really." I paused. "Sir."

He laughed, a deep, strange laugh. "Well you're a humble young man."

I kept quiet.

His smile disappeared as quickly as it came. "Well, from what I've understood, you have been helping them for…almost a year?"

"More than a year, sir," I corrected him.

Kadaj held back a growl. I was obviously saying way too much.

"I see." Xehanort glanced at Kadaj, and then back at me. "You got a gun?"

I kept quiet, but eventually shook my head. "No I haven't, sir."

He didn't smile. "Kadaj."

Kadaj wavered slightly.

"Hand him your gun."

Kadaj looked confused, but eventually complied. I took it silently, wondering what the hell he was going to ask me to do.

I got the answer soon enough.

"Now." Xehanort smiled slyly. "Shoot Kadaj."

My heart did a somersault in my chest.

"Wh-what?" Kadaj gasped, taking a nervous step backward. "B-but—"

Xehanort kept his eyes on me. "If you want to work for me, you'll have to know your priorities. Imagine the police are at your heels, and it's either your brother or your life."

I stared at the gun in my hands, trying to level my heartbeat. I'd carried a gun before, but I'd never actually…shot anyone. I just _couldn't _take someone's life like that.

Even if it was my idiot older brother who happened to hate me with a passion.

I gave Xehanort a wary look.

"Go on. Nothing's stopping you."

I looked at Kadaj. For the first time ever, I'd seen him look honestly scared out of his wits.

And then I looked at the gun in my hands, the gun I was pointing at my older brother. I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes…

And then I stopped.

No matter how much I disliked Kadaj, I couldn't shoot him. I couldn't end his life. No matter what, he was my blood brother. Plus, what would Dad think? And when it got out, what would everyone at school think? I'd be a criminal, a murderer.

At seventeen.

"N-No."

"What do you mean, 'No'?" I heard Xehanort snap.

I lowered the gun, shaking my head, my voice quivering. "I can't. I won't shoot him."

I assumed that was the wrong answer. Xehanort did not look amused.

"I never asked for this, sir." I swallowed, calming down so I'd stop stammering. "I'm not interested. I just came here to inform you that I will not be needing your protection, nor your munny." I had to force the last part out. "There is no way I'm working for you or your band of crooks."

Xehanort gave me a hard glare. "Riku. I am not the kind of person who takes no for an answer. Remember that."

I turned around, trying to seem nonchalant. "I will."

And then I stormed out of the stupid apartment, slamming the doors behind me.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I honestly thought I'd gotten rid of him. Thinking of working for Xehanort and the Disciplinary Committee had just been a 'thing of the past'.

I found a part time job down at a clothing store. The pay was measly, but at least it was something. I had to parade the shop shirtless to attract female customers. Sexist, but whatever. At least I _had _something to show off.

Dad and I weren't really on speaking terms. The only time I said a word to him was during Drama classes, whenever necessary.

My bad mood eventually disappeared. Sora was as friendly as ever, though we still followed our own bunch of friends regularly. Kairi and I seemed to be getting closer, though we still hadn't reached the hugging and holding hand stage like she'd reached with Sora. I didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Things seemed to be going great. Kadaj refused to talk to me, and ditto Yazoo and Loz. They just seemed to avoid me, and they came to visit less often. Two weeks passed without a sight of any of them. I thought they had finally given up. Life seemed to be going smoothly.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The Spring Term was gonna be full. Two, maybe three, impending Blitz games, along with the glee club championships in the future. No one really knew if they would get it past the Nationals, but we were supportive nonetheless.

I, however, was totally confident that we'd win Nationals. I didn't really know why, but this year I just had a feeling we were better than ever.

One Monday afternoon, we were in Sports. We were doing swimming now, so that the guys who weren't in the team could still be doing something.

We had to do swimming in Speedos, which, personally, I thought was pretty gay. I didn't mind that much, since I didn't have any gay friends. At least I didn't think I did.

I was starting to doubt that though. There was one guy who refused to quit staring at me…

Anyway, Sports was fun. Despite for the fact that swimming meant wetting my hair (which, of course, meant a whole lot of hair care), I loved it. I had been trained to hold my breath underwater for long periods of time ever since I'd started Blitzball. Now I could hold it for as long as ten minutes.

Plus, swimming attracted attention from girls, something I didn't particularly mind. Sure, I only had eyes for Kairi, but that didn't mean no one else could look at _me_. (It was pretty disappointing, though, that Kairi wasn't one of the girls to pass by.)

"Yo, check out Benchie," Shuyin snickered, catching my attention.

I did. Sora was sitting on the edge of the pool, wrapped in a huge white towel. He looked pretty pissed as well, but most of all he looked ridiculous and it was impossible not to laugh at him.

"Oh-my-god," Tidus managed to choke out between laughs. "That is one of the saddest things I've ever seen."

I shook my head, smirking. "I don't get why he'd hide all that buff, though. He could really get some girls."

Wakka laughed, patting me on the back. "Good one, mon!"

Shuyin and the rest of the guys on the team laughed at my 'joke'.

I struggled not to roll my eyes. The joke wasn't _that _good.

"You should totally go tell him that," Tidus suggested, crossing his coffee-colored arms. He'd somehow gotten a wicked tan over the winter break, even more obvious when he was shirtless, and I spotted the girls behind the fence giggling flirtatiously when he looked their way.

I smiled. "Sure, I will." It was a pretty foolproof excuse to go talk to him. We hadn't really talked after the time I confided to him behind the Arts building. My friends eventually started talking to me again, but they were more cautious than ever now.

I waded over to Sora, who rolled my eyes when he noticed. "Yeah, go ahead and make fun of me." His thick eyebrows were set in a frown.

"Well, you're just asking to be picked on." I looked him up and down. "A towel? Really?"

"Yes, really, because I don't take steroids." He adjusted his towel. "Do you know the side effects of those things? Gynocomastia, liver damage, erectile dysfunction—"

"I'm _not _on steroids, idiot," I snapped, sitting down next to him. I didn't even know what half those stuff meant, and I didn't know he did either. I thought he was supposed to be dumb. "I just do exercise."

"Who would have guessed?" He muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I sighed. I looked over at the guys, who were looking at me in confusion. They immediately looked away when they saw me looking. I turned back to Sora. "You know, you could have abs if you tried."

"Yeah. I totally believe you, Riku."

I rolled my eyes. _Again with the sarcasm. Sheesh. This guy has a REALLY low self-esteem_. "I'm serious. You're not a _totally _lost cause."

"Thanks for the encouragement, Riku. It was very much appreciated."

I sighed, and then it struck me. "Tell you what—from now on, every morning I pick you up at six a.m. and we work out for two hours. I promise you in less than a month you'll…" I stopped myself. "…well, you'll have _something_."

He didn't seem to believe me. "You serious?"

I shrugged. Sure, that could work. I'd just started the routine of jogging in the morning, and adding him to my schedule wouldn't hurt. "Yep."

He gave me a long stare. And then he smiled. "Fine, it's a deal."

I stretched out my hand. "I look forward to working with you, my friend."

He took it, smiling widely. "The feeling is mutual."

* * *

**FINALLY DONE! WOOT! **

**I am the loner at my new school. Well, sorta. ****Cool, huh? **

**DUNDUNDUN! VINCENT ~WOOT! If only Riku knew who he was...**

**Lol. Read and review.**

**Oh, and I thought I'd spread the news—THERE'S GONNA BE A KH1 REMAKE IN HD! Can you BELIEVE IT? WOOT! Don't know when, but Nomura hopes it'll be released in time for the KH 10****th**** Anniversary. ^^**

**Anyway…if you haven't already, check out my new profile page! And the poll, of course.**

**See you next week! Or next month…depending on my homework. xD**


	19. Stereo Hearts

**A/N: What? More Apologize? ALREADY?**

**About the chappie: I figured I owed Riku a lot of hard-earned fluff. Very, very minor angsting-slash-blah in this chappie. The rest is just…well. Valentine's Day. **

**Disclaimer: NADANADANADA**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I get my first real beating up._

"Listen, you worthless piece of shit. If you so much as _ask _about anything related to moving out, I will make you wish you hadn't."

_I go into Full Frontal Emo Mode in school._

I don't know whether it was the way Dad refused to see the pain I was feeling inside…

_My friendship with Sora grows._

This was the guy I'd bullied ever since kindergarten. This was the guy I'd tormented, kicked, who's head I'd stuck down the toilet, who's clothes I'd ruined repeatedly, who's hair I'd made fun of…

_I meet The Boss._

"Riku. I am not the kind of person who takes no for an answer. Remember that."

_And I offer to train Sora._

"Fine, it's a deal."

_Let's see where this is headed. And my relationship with Kairi—where's that headed as well?_

* * *

**Chapter 19: Stereo Hearts**

I figured it was time for another visit to the 7th Heaven. I hadn't gone there since before the winter holidays; visiting the Seventh Heaven started becoming a rarity, and that wasn't really something I wanted.

Thankfully, Tifa hadn't forgotten me, and she waved at me casually like she'd been expecting me. "Help me clean up that booth for me, will you?"

I did, grabbing the cloth and obediently wiping it down. Her hair was up in a ponytail today, making her look even younger than usual. I still couldn't believe she was almost as old as my Dad. (My Dad didn't look that old either, but she looked at least ten years younger than him all the same.)

"So…" Tifa wiped her hands clean and came to join me, hands on her hips. "How you been?"

I shrugged, sitting finishing off with the table and tossing her the cloth. "Been better."

She looked like she wanted to ask more, but decided against it. "Well…you'd better cheer up soon, cause it's nearly Valentine's Day."

I grimaced. "Uh. Right."

Tifa laughed. She knew more than anyone that Valentine's Day wasn't exactly my favorite holiday. Valentine's Day was a day of chokingly strong-smelling flowers, bundles of chocolate and whiny fangirls. Valentine's Day was usually the day I dumped my old girlfriend for a new one. I had been ambushed every Valentine's Day morning since freshman year, and the same went for stalking. More than once a girl had stalked me to my house, but had run away screaming whenever I ended up yelling at them. They always came back, though, much to my chagrin. The letter box was always filled with flowers and love letters on that day.

Sometimes, being naturally good-looking was a pain. It did help me get girls—most of the time—but other times it was just plain annoying.

Tifa walked to the counter, motioning for me to follow her. "Tell me about this new job you've got."

"Huh?"

"Down at _The Seaside Shack_?"

I frowned. I didn't remember telling her… "How did you know I worked there?"

Tifa shrugged her lean shoulders. "My niece went down there a few days ago to get some suspenders and she wouldn't stop going on and on about this topless, broody silver-haired guy, and I assumed it was you."

I felt myself blushing—not because I was flattered, but because I was embarrassed that Tifa had found out I worked at such a place. She'd offered me a job at the Seventh Heaven, but I'd declined, saying it just wasn't me. I had a feeling she didn't see how working at _The Seaside Shack_ was any more 'me'.

"Well…" I started playing with my hands. "I was pretty desperate for a job, and that was the only one I could find."

"If you were that desperate, you could have just told me." She sighed. "I could've found something better for you."

I looked away, racking my brains for a way to change the subject. I didn't really like how the spotlight was on me.

"Why _were _you so desperate?" Tifa probed, taking some root beer out of the fridge and sliding it over to me. (I thought of declining, but then I realized how thirsty I was.)

"I…uh…" I couldn't exactly tell her I had to get my own house because I was honestly getting fucking tired of my Dad beating me up, so I lied. "…new wheels…for my motorbike."

Tifa nodded, not looking convinced. "Uh huh."

Thankfully, the awkwardness in the air was broken by the entrance of someone new to the scene.

It was a girl, with short pink hair and green eyes. She skipped into the bar, a rucksack slung over one arm, but stopped short when she saw me. She gasped, and then a smile crept up on her face. "You're the guy at the Shack!"

I stared at her, wondering how the hell she knew me. "Uh…yeah."

She giggled. "I, uh…I saw you there last week. And this week." She gave me a little smile that, under any other circumstances, I might have considered cute.

Tifa shook her head, smiling. "Riku, meet Xion."

I figured Xion was the niece she was talking about. I didn't see how the hell they were related.

"Hiya!" She waved at me, taking a seat next to me at the bar. "Your name's Riku, huh? How does that sound familiar…?"

I felt like telling her that it wasn't possible that it sounded familiar, but I decided against it. She leaned casually on her palm. "I…don't always look like this."

"Really?" I asked, not really sure what she meant.

"I, uh…" She started nervously playing with a strand of her pink hair. "I cosplay." She giggled. "This isn't my real hair…and I'm wearing contacts."

I didn't really know what to say to that. I didn't really know that many cosplayers, and I personally thought it was a little dumb. "Oh."

She shrugged. "I know what you're thinking: 'Lame', right? I get that a lot. But, hey, I have fun doing it, so that's all that matters."

I nodded. She had a point. "Yeah."

She went on to tell Tifa about how she'd gone to a con with some of her friends, how she'd gotten a raise at her job down at Starbucks for entertaining customers, and how she'd saved up enough munny for her DN Angel costume. She said it was funny because there was a girl called Riku Harada in DN Angel, but I just grunted in response.

"You're not very talkative, are you?" Xion said, crossing her arms on the table. "Quiet and moody. You remind me of my cousin—"

"I just don't find what you're talking about interesting," I muttered.

She nodded in response. "Hmm. Okay. Not interesting, huh? …How many times have you had sex without protection?"

I glared at her. "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean all I care about is…" I sighed. "Whatever."

She laughed, which strangely didn't sound as annoying as it should have. "I'm just kidding. Don't worry, I don't mind moody guys. Turns me on, actually." She winked, like she'd just made the best joke on earth, and I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, Xion, we've gotta get going." Tifa appeared from wherever she'd disappeared to, now with a handbag slung over one shoulder. She spun the keys around her fingers, and I figured she was about to lock up.

"What? There's no club today?" Xion whined, jumping off the seat with her rucksack in tow. "Aw."

"Yeah…I kind of promised Cloud I'd come home early today," Tifa replied, gesturing for me to follow them outside. I did. "He says he's got some stuff planned."

"Ew, Aunt T. I did not need to know that. Please, for the love of cheesecake, keep me out of your sex life."

Tifa shoved her lightly, but Xion nearly lost her footing, seeing how scrawny she was. "Ow!"

"I wasn't even talking about that…"

Xion grinned up at her. "I know."

I chuckled at the scene, and Xion immediately turned to me, a wild grin on her face. "Yes! I finally get a laugh out of you!"

I couldn't help but smile at that. She seemed to be like Sora and Kairi combined. She had Sora's enthusiasm and Kairi's…well. I didn't know, really. There was something weirdly familiar about her that reminded me of Kairi.

"Well…see you around, Riku!" Xion chirped, waving at me before following Tifa to her car.

I watched their car drive away before sighing, getting into my car and driving home.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I immediately started doubting whether or not taking Sora out for morning training was really a good idea or not.

Sora was bad. I mean, really bad. He had shit stamina, absolutely no endurance, and couldn't lift a single weight. He was sloppy, fell over all the time, and had to stop to catch his breath every five minutes. He'd had a minor growth spurt over the holidays, but that hadn't really done anything about his strength. His height only made it harder for him to keep his balance.

Once in a while I'd lose my temper, but in general I was able to keep my cool. I was determined to keep him going, to make _something_ out of him.

Every morning I'd pick up Sora from the bus station—(since it was the only place we apparently both knew and for some reason he didn't feel like telling me where he lived, which wasn't surprising because he probably still wasn't sure whether I had quit bullying him or not)—and we'd go jog around the park. I managed to get us into the local gym (using what I had left on my credit card to pay for the both of us for at least six months; I really hoped it was worth it), and we pushed dumbbells and did push-ups until it was time to head off for school. I didn't really mind that I'd taken away about an hour of sleep for exercise, but Sora did. More than once, I arrived at the bus stop to see a half-asleep Sora sprawled out on the bench, just begging to be mobbed.

I really, really hoped the training got results, because I was spending a lot of my time on him.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Valentine's Day approached, and I was still clueless on what to buy as a present. For Kairi of course. I had a feeling she wasn't the type to fall for someone over a box of chocolate, or a bouquet of flowers for that matter. I knew I had to get her something special, or I might has well throw the dream of us ever becoming a couple down the drain.

Sora and Kairi seemed to be getting closer every passing day. Even in the classes where we sat next to each other, she wouldn't stop looking over at Sora to see what he was doing. And then they'd send each other messages with their eyes, and it irked me that I was totally in the dark. I had no idea what they were talking about half the time.

They'd send each other notes, meet with each other before and after school. And they were _still _doing that…_hugging _thing they'd been doing since.

I was walking home from work, the Friday before St Valentine's, when I saw something through a shop window.

I immediately stopped in my tracks, going closer to take a closer look.

It was a pendant, a creamy-silvery teardrop colored pendant, attached to a silver necklace. It sparkled in the sunlight, temporarily blinding me, and for some reason I felt like this was it. Her Valentine's Day present.

I knew I didn't have the munny to buy it, obviously. I stood there staring for at least ten minutes before I finally remembered—I _did _have the munny.

I tore my eyes away from the necklace and began running home as fast as I could. Dad wasn't in when I got there, and I sprinted upstairs and pulled open my wardrobe.

They were there, the wads and wads of sickeningly green munny notes. I momentarily hesitated, but realized I didn't really have a choice. Kairi was worth it—at least that's how I felt then.

As I picked up two wads of munny notes and stuffed them in my pockets, I realized something.

The amount of munny had tripled from the last time I'd looked at it.

I had no idea how, when or why this happened, and I had a feeling I didn't _want_ to know.

Slamming my wardrobe doors shut, I sprinted downstairs and locked the door before grabbing my motorbike. I very, very rarely used the thing, but I was in a hurry. The necklace was on the Valentine's Day sale, and I had a feeling I wasn't the only guy who was after it. I zoomed to the store, praying the necklace would still be there.

It was, thankfully. I practically jumped off my bike and ran into the store, nearly bumping into several people as I made my way to the reception desk.

There was an average looking girl at the counter, and her eyes brightened when she saw me. "W-Welcome to Destiny's Embrace! What can I—"

"Can I know how much that necklace on the window is?" I blurted out hastily. I leaned on the counter to catch my breath as I waited for her answer.

"O-Of course," she mumbled, blushing. She had prettyish eyes and, in any other circumstances, if I wasn't already crushing on Kairi, I might have actually flirted with her. "Which one?"

"The, uh…" I waved my arms. "The silver necklace thing."

She blinked dumbly. "Um…"

"Can I help you with anything?" Another girl appeared, looking me up and down. She looked a bit older than the other girl; she had to be around twenty. Her long blonde hair fell by her grey eyes, which didn't seem to like what they saw. "You're the guy who works down at the Shack, right?"

I was getting irritated with how everyone seemed to know about that. "Yes. But that's beside the point—"

Her grey eyes were stormy as she spoke. "Well, I'm sorry mister, but here at Destiny's Embrace we don't approve of flirting with the staff, and—"

"I'm not—ugh!" I sighed in exasperation. "All I want is a damn necklace! Is that so hard to ask?"

"Oh." Her eyes brightened. "Why didn't you say so?"

I couldn't even be bothered to answer that.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

They said it wouldn't be ready until Valentine's Day morning, which pretty much sucked for me. I had to cancel the training session that morning just so I could wake up early and fetch it before school.

I was waiting for the receipt when Counter Girl (who was apparently named Ursula and was an intern and—whatever) suddenly came up with a huge box, wrapped in red flower-print wrapping paper.

She said it was for me and I gave her an 'are you serious?' look. "Um, what the hell?"

"For every purchase you make on Valentine's Day, you get a free surprise basket!" She chirruped, blushing prettily. She'd done her ginger hair in ringlets, which I think suited her pretty nicely. She didn't seem to know that; she wouldn't stop playing with them whenever I looked at her.

"What?" I muttered, starting to pry it open.

"N-No, you can't open it now!" She giggled. "It's a secret."

I frowned. "This is for my girlfriend." _Well, future one anyway_. "How am I supposed to know I'm not giving her an atomic bomb or something?"

"You just have to trust me." She smiled at her own joke. "Nah, just kidding. It's…well, you'll see." She handed me the receipt. "Happy Valentine's!"

I decided to trust her, taking the receipt. "Thanks." I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. It was just a reflex, I guess.

As I was leaving the building, I heard her squeal. Shaking my head and smiling at myself, I kept the package safely in the back of the car and got in the front.

And then I turned on the engine, grimacing as I braced myself for another morning of hell.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I hadn't even parked my car before I started getting ambushed by fangirls. I cursed and beeped at them to get the hell out of the way, and I was thinking of running them over when Tidus and Shuyin appeared, succeeding in holding them off. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to stand being a celebrity. It'd be a bit like this every single fucking day, except with cameras and snooty paparazzi spitting nosy questions in my face.

I managed to park, but getting out of the car was a whole other story. As soon as I climbed out of the car, I was hit by the piercing screams of '_BE MY VALENTINE!_' and '_RIKU-KUUUN!'_. A bouquet of strong-smelling flowers was immediately shoved up my nose, and I swatted it away before she could suffocate me.

Before I could utter a single word, they started piling up their gifts in my hands, and I struggled not to drop them all. I was just about to yell at them to leave me alone when I saw the pleading looks on their faces.

I managed to calm myself down enough to smile at them. "Uh, thanks, really, but I think that's all I can take." I shrugged, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be. "My hands are full."

They immediately started whining and booing, and, as expected, a freshman girl burst into tears. "B-but—I spent hours making this present!"

"Well too bad." A sophomore chick with way too much boobs and a bitchy scowl snapped at her. "He said his hands are full, so fuck off."

Soon, the freshman girl wasn't the only one crying, and I really started to get irritated. _Not this again…_ I was sick and tired of it happening every single year.

Then I had an idea.

"Wait a second…" I shuffled awkwardly to the door of my car, opened it and shoved all the presents inside. "There you go." They immediately began to squeal in glee. I sighed, leaning against the car impatiently as I saw Kairi head into the building. "And hurry up; I don't have all day."

It wasn't long before my car stank strongly of cheap flowers and strong-scented perfume, and I resisted the urge to spray it air-freshener. The whole back of the car was full—even when I took out Kairi's present afterward. (I had to wait until most of the fangirls were gone before doing this—I didn't want to cause another scene where they'd argue over who the present was for).

I was about closing my car when Wakka, Shuyin and Tidus reappeared. They had their signature grins on their faces, but it was obvious Wakka was trying to hide his jealousy.

"Man," Wakka muttered, scratching the back of his head. "I don't think I'm ever gonna get over how they be all over you. They frickin' obsessed with you or sumtin?"

I shrugged, awkwardly juggling the huge wrapped present, the car keys and my bookbag in my hands. "Don't know, don't care."

If Tidus wasn't too busy 'discreetly' looking for Yuna, he might have asked the question before Shuyin did. "What's that?"

"Take a wild guess," I deadpanned. "It's big, wrapped and…" I felt a _that's what she said _joke coming on, and stopped myself. "C'mon, let's just go inside before I drop this thing."

"It's for Kairi, right?" Tidus spoke up, finally. I didn't even nod before he continued. "You might want to hide it; I have a feeling you wouldn't want your present waylaid by your groupies."

While I marveled over his choice in vocabulary, Tidus tossed me his sports backpack, which seemed large enough to fit the parcel. I thanked him and carefully put it inside, making sure not to squash it. I still had no idea what was inside it, but I couldn't exactly open it now because a) I was already is school, b) I had no idea where to find wrapping paper in such short notice and c) I was hopeless at wrapping anyway.

"So, what'd you get her?" Shuyin asked casually as we headed into the building. He winked at a bunch of girls who waved at him, something I was sure Lenne wouldn't have liked if she'd been there.

"None of your business," I replied curtly, mainly because I didn't really know what I'd bought her myself, apart from the two-hundred-munny necklace (yes, it was that expensive, because, apparently, it was an 'antique jewel', carved from a seashell by some ancient sculptor person who-knows-how-many centuries ago).

It was today that they chose not to shut up at my blunt answer, which I found sort of unnerving. "Ooh, I bet he bought her _lingerie_."

"Or better yet—_condoms_."

"No, no, and what the fuck?" I snapped, giving Shuyin a weird look. "Who the hell would get their girlfriend condoms for Valentine's Day?"

"I did," he replied. "You said it would be a good idea."

I didn't remember saying anything like that, and I figured he must have asked me when I was in a bad mood, or busy making out with someone, or something like that. "Oh. Whatever."

Tidus remained silent during the exchange, which I found pretty weird. I noticed he wouldn't stop looking around, and I assumed he was looking for Yuna. He wouldn't stop looking in his bag either, as if making sure something was still in there, and it was pretty obvious why. "How about you, T? What'd you get Yuna?"

He blushed, looking away. "Nothing…"

"Three fucking years in a row and you got her nothing for Valentine's Day? How fucked up is that?" Shuyin laughed. His laugh disappeared as Saix passed us, his dark blue eyebrows pressing together in a frown. He was notorious for his hatred of curse words, and it was rumored that he broke someone's desk in half just because someone said the 'b' word.

"Okay, so I did get her something, but it's not like I'm gonna tell you—"

"Is it _lingerie_?" Wakka suggested, smirking.

"Wakka, getting a girl _lingerie _for Valentine's Day is a _terrible _idea," I deadpanned.

"It is? That's not what you said…" Tidus paused when he saw the looks on our faces.

I stared at him in disbelief. "Oh my fucking God—you got her underwear."

"I-I…" Tidus' face became inflamed with color.

"That is totally not sexy, man," Shuyin laughed. "That is below lame. That is a fail waiting to happen. That—"

"I get it, alright!" Tidus snapped, cutting him off. "This present sucks. So what." He started mumbling incoherently about how much munny he spent on it and how he should have bought that necklace and blah blah blah.

I was about to suggest he give it to her anyway—you know, just to see her reaction (which wouldn't be good; she hadn't exactly acted overjoyed when I'd gotten her a thong)—when I spotted Kairi and Sora walking our way.

"Guys, I'm gonna…" I didn't need to finish the sentence; they understood, heading off in a random direction, Wakka giving me two thumbs up.

I didn't really need that much encouragement, but it did help keep the confident smile on my face as I headed over to her.

She was so busy talking to Sora that she almost bumped into me, only noticing I was there at the last minute. She looked up at me, and I noticed her cheeks were speckled red.

I grinned. "Oh, hey, Kairi."

Sora struggled not to frown when he saw me, and I decided to keep my eyes on Kairi for the rest of the conversation.

She smiled, making my stomach do one of those double-cartwheel-backflip maneuvers. "Hey yourself." She reached into her bookbag, brought out something and handed it to me. I couldn't help but smile when I realized what it was. _Cinnamon rolls_.

She giggled nervously. "I know this isn't the best present, but I figured you'd get sick of chocolate and flowers." _Damn straight. _"Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Thanks. How did you know how much I loved cinnamon?" Okay, so that wasn't completely true—in fact, I didn't even _like _cinnamon that much, and, hell, I didn't even remember mentioning the word 'cinnamon' in ANY of our conversations, but she looked so damn cute and adorable that I completely forgot that fact.

"I did some recon," she giggled. "Nah, just kidding. I overheard some of your fangirls discussing your likes and dislikes."

What the fuck? Ah. I vaguely remembered joking with Tidus if cinnamon-flavored condoms existed, and I figured I must have had a girlfriend or something around that time, who'd been listening, and who apparently thought that meant I was in love with cinnamon rolls or something. I hated how they stretched the truth. Well, the untruth in this case.

"They actually do that."

"Yup," she confirmed, tilting her head. (For some reason, whenever she did that my hormones started racing and I had to resist the urge to ejaculate in my pants.)

She grinned again, and I grinned back, and we just stood there grinning at each other for at least a minute or so, until I remembered what I'd come for.

"No, this is really awesome." I lied. "It makes my present seem like shit."

"Y-You got me a present?" She gasped childishly, which, for some reason, didn't put me off. I must have really liked this girl, because when a girl acted childish and/or superficial, this usually sent me running in the opposite direction.

I nodded before bringing out the huge wrapped present. Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, thank you!" She seemed really genuine, which, I supposed, meant my mission had been accomplished.

"Don't mention it." Putting on the best smile I could muster, I winked at her and turned on my heels, heading off to homeroom.

It was only when I was sure I was out of their sight (you know, since I didn't want to ruin my sexy ass dramatic exit) when I started cheering myself on. I probably looked pretty stupid (—actually, no, I don't think anyone thought I looked stupid, because, in their opinion, I am God and, therefore, am flawless—), but I honestly didn't care.

I was so confident that, by the end of the day, she'd have completely fallen for me.

I haven't even given Sora a second thought.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

As the day came to an end, it was getting pretty obvious that, no, she wasn't going to have fallen for me by the time the final bell rung.

First of all, after that morning, there wasn't really much time for me to see what she thought of the present. I was constantly being ambushed by girls who claimed they'd been crushing on me since kindergarten, or that they'd spoken to a fortune-teller who'd said they'd fall in love with a handsome silver-haired Blitzball player (riiiight…), or that I'd made them pregnant (which I was entirely positive never happened—I'd never really had sex with anyone). Kairi was being targeted by guys all over the school, which wasn't that surprising. What was shocking was that she turned down each and every one of them. Like me, love letters were pasted all over her locker, and bouquets of flowers magically appeared. She was really nice about it, so nice that even though a lot of the guys were rejected, none of them could be mad at her for it.

Sora seemed to be getting the worst of it. As soon as Kairi was out of their eyesight, they'd glare at Sora, mutter obscenities at him, and/or promise him payback.

They stayed true to their word. By lunchtime, Sora's locker had been almost completely vandalized.

Even in between classes, we had no peace. Lunch was hell. Girls seemed to have an impeccable need to use the bathroom during Sports. Terra had to take action to shoo away the rapidly growing horde of girls who'd lined themselves along the poolside.

SexEd was absolutely crazy. Not only did practically every girl somehow manage to pull a chair next to my desk, but a lot of them chose this period to 'confess' their 'feelings' to me. This resulted in a very embarrassing catfight in which at least two girls had to be taken to the nurse.

It was beyond stupid.

I waited for Kairi in the bus park after school, hoping that I'd finally get some feedback on how she felt about my present.

I had a feeling she hadn't opened it, and I was right—she came out after school with the parcel still shut tight. She was walking with Sora, her present in one hand and Sora's hand in the other. They looked so much like a couple that _I_ almost started to believe they were one.

I must have been frowning, because girls steered clear of me. Either they were scared of my glare, or they'd finally gotten a hint.

I was still glaring when Tidus walked up to me, looking forlorn. His right cheek was strangely redder than his left one, and it was only when he'd gotten closer that I realized what it was. "What the hell happened to your cheek, man?"

He sighed, rubbing it gingerly. "Yuna. She bitchslapped me across the face."

I tried not to laugh. "Why? Cause you gave her the underwear?"

"_Lingerie_," he muttered, blushing. "And, no. I took your advice and _didn't _give it to her. I didn't want my munny to go to waste though, so I gave it to a sophomore with the same cup-size."

I grimaced. "Bad move."

He nodded sadly. "Yeah. Turns out Yuna was there and…I don't know." He sighed. "She just went all crazy on me, like giving someone lingerie was the biggest sin ever. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with her. I told her that and she gave me this." He pointed to his cheek, sighing again. "FML."

I shook my head. "You idiot. She yelled at you because she was jealous, _duh_. Seriously—what more evidence do you need before you believe she's totally fallen for you?"

He frowned. "Well…I guess I've destroyed all my hopes of ever being with her, then."

"Not entirely," I pressed. "You've got to keep trying. Try a different approach."

"Like what, Riku?" He snapped. "There are no more fucking approaches left! I've joined the fucking glee club—has THAT gotten me anywhere?"

"Well, no, not yet—"

"And you aren't the one to talk," he continued. "You've been dateless for more than six months, so you can't fucking talk to me about relationships."

"How are your love problems and my sex life even related?" I retorted cuttingly. "We're two completely different people."

Tidus pressed his lips together, his frown deepening as he glared at me. I glared back, and we must have been like that for at least a minute before he broke away. "Whatever."

To my surprise—and, I suppose, the surprise of all the fangirls watching—Tidus shoved me, gave me the middle finger, and stormed away in a huff.

I stared after him, shocked and slightly hurt, as he disappeared around the corner.

It took me a while to get over it, and I suppose I could say the same thing for the watching crowd.

Kairi was among them, looking like she was about to climb into the bus. Her eyes were wide, and I noticed her eyes were red-rimmed, as if she'd been crying.

* * *

"Did you hear? Apparently Sora wrote Kairi some kind of love letter and now they're like so totally hooking up!"

"Really?"

"No _way_…I'm sure it was just his homework."

"Then how do you explain how she was _crying_?"

"…I dunno. But I don't think they're in a relationship…not yet anyway."

"How come? They're always holding hands!"

"But do you ever see them _kissing_?"

"No…"

"Then they're not together."

"Mwell…Don't you think they'd look so cute together?"

"Meh…well at least it would Riku'd be up for grabs!"

"Yeah right…I don't think he's gonna be too happy when he finds out."

"Yeah…poor guy. He must be so sexually frustrated. He hasn't had a girlfriend in ages."

"Yeah. Ever since Kairi showed up. He must be really serious about this girl…"

* * *

**That's that. WOOT! Freaking fast update FTW! **

**So…an appearance from Xion (disguised as Sakura Haruno from Naruto) and a few other random Final Fantasy characters (Rosa Joanna Farrell and Ursula Fang Laiden from one of those old Final Fantasy games… :P). **

**Hope you liked Riku's take on Valentine's Day! Nothing really happened…a bit of a BLEH chappie. And he's a bit of jerk in this one...I had a feeling I haven't been making him jerk-y enough. xD **

* * *

**Sneek Peek:**

"_We're having a dinner at my place."_

"_Riku…I really am sorry."_

* * *

**Seriously…I have no idea what the next chappie's gonna bring. ||gets shot|| Lol…guess we'll just have to wait and see!**

**R&R! **

**(Posting this in school, because at home the internet shuts off after ten.)**

**P.S: If any of you guys read Teenage Wasteland, check out my dA page for who I'd think would be awesome actors for the film production of the fanfic! Plus…LET'S ALL PRAY I GET TO GO SEE TAYLOR SWIFT IN CONCERT! IF I DO, I'LL BE SO OVER THE MOON THAT I PROMISE I'LL TRY AND POST THREE CHAPPIES IN ONE WEEK! (Again. =D)**

**XXXXXXX **


	20. Acceptance

**A/N: Seriously. To be honest, I am the world's biggest procrastinator.**

**Replies…**

**Superpeanutbutter: Haha yeah…I did make him a bit of a jerkface. Hopefully by the end of this chappie you'll see him differently. Or something. No, I haven't been watching DN Angel…I WILL. ONE DAY. And yay for RikuShion! :D She'll be appearing…but she's not gonna be in this fic all that much. Too many subplots if that was the case… :( **

**Jellybean2799: Haha, don't blame you. *squeal* **

**About this chappie: Yeah…so some angst, and a whole lot of fluff and stuff. Yay. RIKAI AND RION YAYEEZ BABAY! **

**Disclaimer: LOL. **

**Note: I measure in Celsius. Yes, I am in America now, but I refuse to adopt all the American units. Please show some consideration and accept my stand. (LOL)**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I meet Tifa's niece. _

Xion immediately turned to me, a wild grin on her face. "Yes! I finally get a laugh out of you!"

_I get Kairi a thousand-munny-worth Valentine's present. _

"Y-You got me a present?"

_And Tidus goes berserk. _

"There are no more fucking approaches left! I've joined the fucking glee club—has THAT gotten me anywhere?"

_Yeah…so Tidus and I aren't really getting along, Kairi's still 'best friends' with Sora, and my life is being pretty suckish as a whole._

_But, well. Can't give up now. _

_Only a matter of time before Kairi and I are…an ITEM. A Couple. A Thing. Together. Going Out._

_Dating._

* * *

**Chapter 20: Acceptance**

"The date's…not fixed yet…but I just…thought I'd let you know."

"Sure. Don't…really have anything else planned."

Sora and I were jogging around the park, something we'd been doing for weeks now. Sora had gotten better—he was able to run for longer without panting—but he still sweated bullets and we had to stop several times for him to use his inhaler.

Whatever. At least it was working. Sorta.

Anyway, Sora'd invited me over for dinner at his house, seemingly out of the blue. Now, if it was last year or anything, I would have just laughed at his face. I mean, me? Going for dinner at someone like Sora's?

But, well, times had changed, and, honestly, I didn't have anything else planned.

And at least it'd give me another excuse to stay out late.

I'd been avoiding home as often as I could. I'd call the guys and find hang out at their's until I had to leave, and then I'd just linger in the streets and maybe get a coffee or two, and then I'd go home and lock myself in my room.

I tried to steer as clear as possible away from…_him_.

After running ten times around the park, we stopped for a drink—(Gatorade, because we're athletes)—before heading to the local gym. We'd been doing this for a while, and I'd sort of gotten used to them. Sometimes, when Shuyin and Wakka were being assholes and I had nowhere to spend the afternoon, I'd come and spend it with the guys at the gym.

A few of them were gay, but, honestly, I didn't really care as long as they were nice. And they didn't try to hit on me or anything (I mean, ew—they were all at least in their twenties).

They seemed to enjoy picking on Sora, though, calling him Needle Boy and pranking him frequently. It was all pretty funny, but Sora didn't seem to think so.

That morning, for example, when we walked in and a bunch of them broke out laughing, Sora snapped.

"Riku," he muttered darkly. "I think I should just go home."

I chuckled dismissively. "Hey, I've already told you—don't take anything they do or say seriously—"

"That's easy for you to say—you're not the one who's getting laughed at," he snapped acidly. "Look, I'm tired of being the laughingstock."

I snorted. "'Laughingstock'? Who says that anymore?"

He rolled his eyes and made to leave, but I stopped him before he could walk out the door. "Hey. Look, if you want them to stop laughing at you, you've got to get better. Then they'll have nothing to laugh about, really." I sighed, looking him straight in the eyes. "And you've got to stop taking it so fucking seriously."

Sora's periwinkle blue eyes searched my own, and then he sighed, lowering his gaze. "Fine."

I grinned. "That's the spirit."

He stayed true to his word, and he even managed to lift ten pounds that day.

I was pretty pleased with my work, to be honest. Sora was actually improving. He was actually starting to look…not so bad.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was weird; Kairi didn't show any indication of liking my present. I didn't even know what it was, and I had a feeling it'd be pretty weird if I asked Kairi directly.

I was thinking about this on the afternoon of the Blitzball Regionals, while I was supposed to be getting dressed—or undressed in this case.

I was snapped out of my chain of thought by Shuyin, who waved his hands in front of my face. "Yo? Earth to Riku?"

I lazily turned to him, pulling off my shirt. "Huh?"

"We've got approximately two minutes before we have to go out, man," Shuyin replied, frowning slightly. "What's up? You've been pretty dazed lately."

"Oh, he's just thinking of different ways to get into Kairi's pants, I assume," Tidus cut in, which was totally uncalled for. "You know, since that's all that matters."

I pressed my lips together to stop myself from retorting, and decided to ignore him. "I'll be done in a minute."

Tidus and I hadn't really been in good terms since Valentine's, which was pretty annoying. Tidus wouldn't quit being a douche, and I eventually gave up trying to apologize to him. Not like I tried…I mean, if anyone, it was supposed to be _him_ apologizing, right?

This was pretty annoying because Tidus was the guy I was closest to in the group, and he knew most of the stuff I hadn't told anyone else, and if that got leaked out…

This also meant that the only person I could talk to properly now was Sora.

And Sora was always with Kairi.

And Kairi wasn't really someone who I wanted to know my secrets. I mean, what would Kairi think if she knew I was some lame-ass punch bag who couldn't even stand up for himself?

I shook this thought away as I finished getting ready (yeah, after putting on our Blitz swimming trunks, which, I thought, didn't look so bad really), sighing. "C'mon, let's bounce."

We did.

* * *

We paraded outside into the stadium (which was our home stadium, which meant we had an advantage…sorta), waved at our fans (which was basically everyone in the school that had the ability to walk) and then proceeded to go on to our pep talk.

Yeah…so I'd been doing this ever since I became team captain in freshmen year—(yeah, I'm serious)—and it was getting pretty tiring. I basically said the same thing every year: "We're gonna win it this time!" or "This time for sure!" or "Reach for the stars!" (which I had a feeling came from some Disney movie, but nobody realized, which was basically all that mattered).

This time, when I'd gotten to my second catchphrase ("this time for sure"), Wakka interrupted.

"This is the only time!" Wakka urged. "The players fight with all their strength; the fans cheer for their favorite team. They forget pain, suffering…only the game matters! That's why blitz has been around for so long!"

We stared at him.

He shrugged. "Least that's what I think."

Tidus snorted. "Wow, badass speech, Wakka."

Shuyin spoke up while the laughter died down. "Wakka's right, though. For some of us…this is our last year." He swiped his fingers through his hair. "I don't know about you guys…but I'm tired of going down like this every single year."

Some other seniors muttered in agreement.

I cleared my throat. "Um, that being said, we've gotta put it all in this game. Forget about whatever else is on your mind—family, friends, relationships—"

"Hot cheerleaders," someone mumbled.

I was about to retort when I noticed everyone was looking at something going on beside me. I looked up, and then whatever I was trying to say died down in my throat.

Suddenly upbeat party music started to play, and one of the cheerleaders—that new one, Penelo wasn't it?—started rapping while all the other ones, well…danced. A bunch of us forgot to breath.

Especially when Kairi joined in. Honestly, she was one of the only girls I knew who managed to look cute and smoking hot at the same time. She even looked at me once or twice, and my breath hitched in my throat.

It was so freaking _unfair_ that girls could do that and get away with it. And the teachers didn't even protest—Ansem was actually dancing along.

They finished their dance (well, cheer) and everyone broke into cheers, even the guys from the opposing camp. Kairi grinned and waved and just rocked at looking adorable, and I heard a few guys on the team talking about how much they wanted to…do stuff to her. I gave them a glare and they immediately shut up.

Half of the guys in the team left to make out with their girlfriends—(which, you know, is a pre-match custom)—which just left Tidus and I. Tidus chewed on the inside of his cheek as he tugged absently at the edge of his trunks.

I cleared my throat and he gave me a glance before returning to ignoring me.

"Hey," I muttered. "You'd better realize that this isn't about me—it's about the team. And if you screw anything up—"

"I heard what you were saying about putting everything behind us," he snapped. "Sure, that'll work, until after we've won. Then what?"

"Then you can start worrying about all that crap," I replied. "We can't lose the Regionals three years in a row; we're getting to Nationals, Tidus, I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," he muttered, barely audible as the match procession started and we were told to mount the stadium.

His comment struck a nerve, but when I saw the faces of everyone else on the team, I knew I had to forget whatever was on my mind—my Dad, Tidus' problems, Sora, Kairi—and just focus on getting this team to the finals.

I took a deep breath and freefell into the Blitz arena with a splash, and for a split-second it was quiet. And then suddenly everyone was plunging in around me, and I knew sooner or later I'd have to break the surface.

Before I knew it I was breathing air again, but I hadn't run out of breath, which was a good thing. I motioned for the rest of the team to get into position, and waited for the whistle. I quickly took in their formation, and realized we were lucky. If I could just get past their defense…

I quickly explained my strategy to the team while waiting for the goals to be mounted, and then the starting whistle blew.

And the game began.

* * *

We beat the rival team in barely forty minutes, winning seven points to zero, making the Regionals for the first time since…well, ever.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was so happy that invited all of the guys on the team (including their girlfriends) to Starbucks (well, except Sora of course—I mean, I had a feeling he'd just get laughed at…and we didn't really hang out in public). Kairi came along too, probably to keep Yuna company, since Yuna was the only girl apart from Kairi who was single. Rikku had hooked up with a guy she'd met at a party, and for some reason he'd come along.

Anyway, we went to Starbucks. I had thought of taking them to the Seventh Heaven—Tifa had said I was free to bring friends whenever I felt like it—but I didn't want any embarrassing situations happening, like, for example, Tifa asking how 'my new job' was going, because that would mean I'd have to explain what my new job was and…well, I didn't really want that. I'd told my boss I had a match that day, which was the only reason I was allowed the day off. The boss really liked me—I brought him the most customers, apparently.

I was happy to have another excuse to stay out late, until I saw who the girl at the counter was. Her hair was cropped and jet-black and her eyes were frosty blue, but I recognized the smile perfectly.

"Xion?" I choked.

She grinned, showing off her pearly white teeth. "Hiya. Fancy meetin' you here!"

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I work here," Xion answered simply, pointing at her nametag. "I've been working here since—"

"Wait, you know this girl?" Shuyin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No." I cleared my throat. "Well, yes. Not really."

Shuyin nodded, while the other guys started muttering.

"Hey, um…why don't you guys grab a seat? I'll…order instead."

They obeyed, going to grab a booth that was thankfully pretty far away from the counter.

I sighed, giving Xion a little glare. "Hey. Don't you dare humiliate me."

She pouted, adjusting her Starbucks™ cap on her head. "What? I'm an embarrassment to you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I hardly even know you but…yeah, pretty much."

She frowned. "Right. Whatever. Order?"

I told her what drinks we'd need, and she grudgingly punched in the orders. She looked angry and slightly…disappointed. I knew she was trying to get me to apologize, and it was working. I started feeling sorry for her almost immediately.

"That'll be ninety-five sixty-three," Xion said stoically, pushing the tray towards me. I managed to stop it before she could pour everything on it all over me, and handed her a hundred-munny bill. "Keep the change."

She visibly blushed, and then she shook her head. "What's the matter? Ran out of space in your wallet?"

I sighed. "I'm just being nice…"

Xion's frown was replaced with a smirk. "So your idea of being nice is giving people ten dollars extra change?"

I sighed. "Can I just have the receipt please?"

Xion's cropped black hair brushed her cheek as she nodded. "Course. Here you go, Grumpy."

I took it wordlessly from her, giving her a little smile for the sake of it, and then headed to the table. Xion didn't disturb us for the rest of the afternoon, but it came with a price. I had to give her my phone number.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Everyone eventually paired up—even Yuna and Tidus; Tidus offered to walk her home, and she accepted—leaving Kairi and I alone.

She cleared her throat, playing absently with a strand of her hair. She rubbed her bare arms, which I suppose she did out of nervousness, because, honestly, it was as hot as hell. I'd lived on the island since I was old enough to walk, but I still hadn't gotten used to the crapped up weather. It was barely the end of February and it was a whopping forty degrees.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and wished I'd come shirtless like the rest of the guys. Screw me and my modesty. (Yeah, not like I was usually modest or anything, but that's the impression I wanted to give Kairi…yeah, I was pretty desperate.) "Um…maybe getting coffee wasn't such a good idea."

Kairi snorted. "Gotta agree with you there."

I shrugged, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my Bermuda shorts. "You up for a drink?"

She started playing with her hair again. "Um…how 'bout some ice cream?"

"Even better," I agreed. "There's a ice cream shop down the road…"

Kairi nodded, and we started walking. To be honest, I was feeling pretty nervous, like how I always did next to her. It was just weird—talking to Kairi without Sora being there. I'd gotten so used to him filling all the silences that I even started to wish he was there. I shook the ridiculous thought away almost immediately.

I started to wonder why she didn't talk as much around me as she did around Sora. Sure, you could say it was because they were best friends and all but…there was this smile she always had around him. This beautiful smile…she'd never really smiled like that when it was just us two. I wanted more than anything to be able to make her smile like that…what was I doing wrong?

More than once I'd been close to asking Sora outright what he'd done to get her to like him so much, but I stopped myself before this happened. But, honestly, I couldn't stop wondering _why _she'd stuck being his best friend. Sure, he was a pretty nice—no, _really _nice—kid and all, but…

How did she not see the way he looked at her? His eyes were always so full of emotion whenever they spoke; not full of lust, but full of passion…or affection….it wasn't really that easy to describe. A little bit like the way a husband would look at his wife.

The thought made me want to shoot myself.

"So…how'd you like my present?" I asked a while later when we'd bought our ice creams—a pistachio bar for me and a stick of Sea Salt for Kairi. ve

Kairi's cheeks darkened visibly, and she took a bite of the ice cream. "U-Um…yeah…thanks."

That didn't really give me any indication of what it was or if she'd even opened it, and that kind of made my heart sink. "Welcome."

We continued our walk to nowhere. "So, what you doing this evening?" I felt pretty stupid as soon as I'd said that…the lack of conversation was killing me. I usually had so much to talk about, but for some reason I'd run out of words. Damn Kairi and her stupid distracting aura.

Kairi shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Nothing really. Pretty pooped after all that cheering." She turned to me with a smile, and I noticed her lips were stained slightly blue. Aww. "You were awesome today, by the way."

"Thanks," I replied. "And that was some badass cheerleading."

Her cheeks were once again speckled red. "Hehe well…Fang's idea."

I nodded and we licked at our ice creams. I missed my mouth once or twice because I was too distracted by her…and any guy would have known what images that put in my mind.

I almost didn't hear her question. "What about you?"

"Huh?" I mumbled dumbly.

"Any plans? For…this evening…?" She started licking her popsicle again, and I tore my eyes away from her to focus on my ice cream bar, which was rapidly melting.

After very unattractively licking all the dripping remnants of ice cream away from my fingers, I replied. "Um…not really…"

"Hmm."

We licked companionably at our ice creams as we walked. And then Kairi threw her stick in the trash and turned to me. "Hey, since you're free for now and I'm free for now…maybe we could, I dunno…hang out?"

I stared at her, disposing of my ice cream stick. "Isn't that what we're doing now?"

Kairi shrugged before taking my empty hand. "Yeah…but I want to show you something."

My hand suddenly felt excessively warm. Her hand felt so right in mine…but that's probably what all people who were in love said.

_Whoa. Since when was I in love with her? It's just a crush…right?_

Honestly I had no idea. Sure, a lot of the things I liked about her were related to her looks, but…there was also her smile; the way she seemed to know what I was thinking all the time; the way she laughed; the way she played with her hair when she was nervous; the way she was so nice to anyone, regardless of their social status; the way she made me feel whenever she was near…like all the world's problems had momentarily disappeared…

It was weird. It had to be more than a crush…right?

I thought of all this as Kairi towed me along, right across the roads, past the beach and then through the forests…she kept turning around to check if I was still there, though this probably wasn't really necessary since she was holding my hand.

The excitement in her eyes was what kept me going, even when the sky started turning a darker shade of blue and the air started getting cooler.

I'd started to wonder if she was kidnapping me when she suddenly stopped, her hands squeezing mine tightly. She turned to me with a childish smile. "Now—close your eyes."

"What?" I whispered. "Why?"

"Just close your eyes."

I did, and I felt her tug me forward, through what I assumed were bushes, and then she tugged me up a small hill.

And then she whispered: "Now…open your eyes."

I did.

And what I saw took my breath away.

It was Destiny Islands—well, all of it. It was such a spectactular view—I could see everything from the North Island to the South, and even the coast of the East Island. It all looked like a great big Lego land, with lights flashing every once in a while as what I assumed were cars zoomed down the tiny roads.

We were so, so high—so high I could cover a whole block of flats with my palm. It took me a while to respond.

"I…where _are _we?" I managed to choke out, feeling dizzy with awe. "How did you find this place?"

"Well…" Kairi was still holding my hand, but she didn't seem to notice. She squeezed it slightly. "My…sister…she showed it to me. She…likes to draw."

I nodded slowly. "Your sister, huh?" I still hadn't quite recovered. The view... "I…I could stay here forever and I wouldn't get sick of it…"

Kairi giggled, taking a seat on the grass. We must have been up on some high mountain or something. I took a seat next to her, not quite trusting my legs. If I lost my footing, I could slip and tumble down the cliff to my death.

And that was not the way I wanted to die.

"I can't believe…I've lived her practically all my life…and I've never even set one foot in the forest."

Kairi stared at me. "You haven't?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Not even gone camping because—" I cut myself off, and then quickly corrected my mistake. "…I was sick."

Kairi didn't seem to buy it, but at least she tried to pretend she did. She nodded slowly before laying down on the grass. I unintentionally did the same, looking up at the stars above.

It was like I was in a dream—holding hands with Kairi, lying on the grass and looking up at the stars in a cool spring breeze with the wind brushing against my hair and—

I paused. That wasn't the wind.

I sat up abruptly. "Fuck. Please tell me there is nothing in my hair."

Kairi sat up, and her cheeks paled. "O…oh."

"What…what is it?" I gulped. She didn't answer, and I started getting freaked out. "What is it?"

She bit on her lip before pointing at my head tentatively. "There's…there's a spider in your hair."

What followed was a completely embarrassing and girlish display of how crazy I acted when scared out of my mind, and an ordeal that confirmed that I was, indeed, arachnophobic.

I screamed, whacking crazily at my hair and running around in delirium until finally passing out next to a tree. I knew this because when I woke up I was leaning against a tree with a cold towel on my forehead and someone holding my hand.

"Wh…what happened?" I croaked, trying to get the blood running in my arms again.

"Riku!" Kairi gasped. "You're…awake."

I stared at her. "Huh?"

She pressed her lips together, as if trying to hold back something, before speaking. "A spider crawled into your hair and you freaked out and fainted."

"…Oh."

It was silent for a while.

And then we both burst into laughter.

We just laughed and laughed and laughed. Don't ask why we did—I'm not really sure. It just suddenly felt like this huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I was able to breath. It was weird how I'd managed to break the awkward atmosphere by acting like a total spaz in front of my crush.

But, hey, it was worth it.

Because I got Kairi to flash her smile. Yeah—_that _smile.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was pretty impatient at work on Friday.

Kairi had informed me that the dinner was going to be on Friday evening, and ever since I'd been waiting for the week to pass by quickly enough. For some reason I was actually _excited _to go. I didn't really get why he invited me…if it was me, I probably would have jumped at the idea of getting to have dinner alone with Kairi. Since, yeah, Kairi was invited. Duh.

Anyway, I couldn't go directly after school with them—I'd told them I had some 'stuff' to do, and they'd taken my word for it—so instead they'd said they'd pick me up at the bus stop closest to their house.

That is, after I'd finished with my shift at the _Shack_.

Well, on this particular Friday, there were a lot of customers. And when I say a lot, I mean _a lot_. And they were almost all girls.

They were taking ages to choose what they wanted—on purpose.

They incessantly tried to grab my attention, and, since it was my job, I wasn't allowed to ignore them. Middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students and even grown women blatantly flirted with me, and a lot of them went as far as touching me.

I was stacking boxes—(yeah, because this was the only other thing I did apart from parade around in low-rise jeans and Bermuda shorts)—when someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around to see a blonde chick with huge boobs waving at me. I'm serious—they were so huge it was hard to keep my eyes on her face. I think she knew this, because she didn't even seem to mind.

"Hey, um, I just wanted to know; which bikini d'you think would look better on me?" She held up a striped red-and-black two-piece and a bright pink tankini for me to see.

Once I'd gotten over how big her boobs were, I just shrugged. "I dunno."

She obviously wasn't amused. "Sure you do." She smirked. "Want me to try 'em on?"

I shrugged. "Whatever."

She pouted, and I saw my boss frowning. He could smell a problem from miles away, and he obviously wasn't happy about it. I sighed, turning back to the blonde. "I mean…yeah…try the pink one on."

Her face broke into a radiant smile. She looked a lot prettier that way, and, I thought, if she hadn't had such huge boobs I might have actually considered dating her. "Okay!"

She skipped away to her group of friends, and I rolled my eyes as they all broke out into squeals. One of them had a hazel-colored cap on her head—it read _NDU_, _New Dawn University_. Hmm. So they were college girls. From Twilight Town. Huh.

"Woah, man," I heard someone say. I realized soon enough it was one of my co-workers. None of them usually talked to me—they were all too jealous. Most of them just talked with each other about me behind my back. Not that I cared, really. They all looked like man-whores. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, starting to stack the boxes again.

"You _know _the effect you have on women," he muttered. "Quit with all the modest crap."

I sighed. "I'm not being modest. So they think I'm hot—big deal."

"Seriously?" He asked, raising a golden eyebrow. "You don't have some womanizing trick or nothing?"

I shook my head. "Why would I?"

The guy—who was apparently called Mustadio, or something—left me alone then, obviously thinking I was too boring. I sighed in indifference. I was seriously getting tired of it all. Why did I force myself to come here again? Oh, right, because I was getting paid a hundred munny per week. Which meant…another six weeks of working there and I'd finally have enough munny to pay for an apartment…well, an apartment downtown. The apartments with running water and constant electricity were way too expensive…

I sighed again, feeling pretty stupid. What was I thinking? I'd never be able to raise enough munny on my own. Which meant I'd never be able to get my own apartment. Which meant I'd be stuck with _Sephiroth _until me or him died, whichever came first.

No, he'd have to let me out of the house eventually. I needed to get a job…he was going to retire in at least another five years. Maybe. And he wouldn't be so crazy as to keep me under house arrest for the rest of my life…?

I shook my head. My thoughts were getting way too depressing. I needed to think of something else.

I wondered what Sora and Kairi were doing. Probably something fun. They always seemed to be having fun. Kairi had said they were going out for lunch…which was why she'd eaten so little in the cafeteria. I wondered where they were eating. What they were eating. What they were doing while eating. Were they feeding each other? Were they having a straight-out-of-a-movie food fight? Were they even fighting each other at all? Had they forgotten about their food altogether, falling into each other's arms in a heated passion?

"Um, hello?"

It took me a while to realize someone was tapping me; it was the blonde chick from earlier. "Huh?"

She'd tried on the tankini first, and did a little twirl. "How's it look?"

I forced myself to smile. It looked horrible. I was starting to wonder whether or not her boobs were real. "You are totally rocking it."

She grinned. "Thanks! I'll be taking this one, then."

I couldn't exactly tell her no, and, plus, it wasn't really my problem. "Alright."

She winked at me, tucked something into my pocket, and made that 'call me' sign with her fingers before strutting off to see her other college buddies.

I rolled my eyes, knowing I was going to discard the number later. I'd gotten so many numbers I'd lost count, and it'd be stupid to call any of them.

My watch beeped, marking the end of my shift, and I rushed over to the locker room to grab my shirt and normal jeans before sprinting out of the shop…

…and bumping into—guess who?—Xion.

She was wearing black contacts, was in some kind of black kimono thing and was carrying a fake sword, but she was still pretty recognizable. "Whoa!" She chirped. "Fancy meeting you here!"

"Are you stalking me or something?" I hissed.

"No," she replied truthfully. I noticed her hair was longer…had she put in extensions? "I just keep bumping into you. Weird…it's like we're soulmates!"

I rolled my eyes. "Um. Right. Look, I'm kind of in a hurry, so—"

"What? Got a date with that red-haired chick?"

I stared at her. "What?"

"You're really into her, aren't you?" Her expression was unreadable. "I saw the way you were ogling her on Monday…"

I felt warm all of a sudden. "Is…is it really that obvious?"

She snorted. "You'd have to be blind not to notice."

I didn't really know what to answer to that. "I…we're not dating…"

"…yet," she finished for me, smiling slightly.

I felt myself smile back. "Yet."

She winked at me. "Trust me—she likes you just as much as you like her."

"And how do you know?" I quipped, feeling pretty embarrassed that this sort of total stranger already knew who my crush was.

"I'm a girl, if you didn't notice."

I blushed. "Right. Um." I scratched the back of my head. "Yeah…"

"Yeah…" She repeated, smirking. And then she sighed. "Well…weren't you in a hurry?"

"Yeh, I was—" I looked at my watch. "I really gotta get going, so I'll see you around, alright?"

She grinned. "Alright."

I turned on my heels and sprinted for the bus stop.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Kairi and Sora had said they'd meet me at the Palm Tree Bus Stop, and when I got there no one was there. At first I started panicking—maybe they'd come and left?—but then I realized how stupid it was for me to panic over nothing.

Sure enough, soon Kairi and Sora arrived…with Roxas and Namine following quietly behind. I flinched when I met Roxas' hard gaze—it was pretty obvious he still hadn't forgiven me over being an ass to his twin brother ever since kindergarten. I hadn't really gotten used to Roxas…I'd always been a little bit frightened by him. He'd taken off all the freaky make-up, thankfully, but his eyes were still as hard as stone.

Namine, I realized, was holding Roxas' free hand—the hand that wasn't supporting his massive guitar. She looked as pale as snow, but her cheeks turned a dark pink color when she saw me looking at her, and she averted her gaze. Hm. Shy.

It didn't take me long to put two and two together and realize that Namine was Kairi's sister.

Then…why had Kairi never said anything?

I looked at Kairi, but she was too preoccupied with Sora, so I decided to say hi to the Roxas and Namine. They didn't say anything back.

"Uh…" I cleared my throat to break through the awkward silence. "So where's your house?"

"Just down the road," Sora replied, shrugging.

I realized I'd seen this road before…but from where? "How come this place seems familiar?" And then suddenly I remembered. This was Palm Street. Kairi's street. "No way."

"What?" Kairi asked.

"You guys live on the same street?" I gasped.

"Right next to each other, actually," Kairi clarified, shrugging. "C'mon; we'd better hurry up if we don't wanna be late."

As she took my hand, I tried to digest this information. Sora and Kairi were _neighbors_? All this time…and I'd been totally in the dark about it all. That gave him such a huge advantage…if I lived next door to Kairi…

That did explain, though, why Sora and Kairi were so close. I mean, they got to see each other every day…like a sister and brother. Kairi probably felt Sora was, like, her brother or something.

We were approaching Sora's front door when I noticed something. "Oh, you're wearing the necklace I got you."

Yeah. Because she was.

She was wearing the necklace. My heart started doing some crazy dance right then.

I also noticed she was wearing a bracelet with the words '_all my love' _engraved on it. "Y-Yeah…thanks, by the way."

I grinned, in a way that was totally not cool and/or collected. It was just an 'omg-I-am-so-freakin-happy' smile—and these smiles were rare. "No problem."

I thought I saw Sora stiffen, but it was probably just my imagination.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Mom! We're back!"

Sora's house…was not impressive. The carpet was rough, the ceiling had obviously been leaking once, and the paint on one of the walls was peeling…but, for some weird reason, it looked sort of…cozy.

Two women and a man were at the table when we entered the living room. The man was blonde and had an almost-crew cut, and he was either an aviator or he just liked wearing aviators glasses for no reason. He was sitting next to a woman with long, striking red hair, who smiled when she saw us.

"Sora!" Her eyes drifted towards me, and her grin widened. She had to be Kairi's mother. "And you must be Riku. Kairi's—" She stopped abruptly, as if Kairi had just sent her some kind of telepathic message. _Kairi's what? What had she said about me? _Unfortunately, Kairi's Mom didn't continue. Instead she turned to the Silent Duo. "You guys had fun?"

They nodded silently, and then Roxas spoke up. "Um…Mom…I'm just gonna go drop off my guitar upstairs, alright?"

"Of course," the last woman—Roxas and Sora's Mom—crooned. She didn't look that old at all—she looked about Aqua's age, with clear brown hair done in a braid and emerald green eyes. I had a feeling the guys on the Blitzball team would call her 'milf' if they saw her.

Anyway, besides her looks, there was her voice. Her voice was weirdly soothing…just the sound of her speaking made me want to crawl into her lap and sleep. I didn't really know why…

"Aren't you worried they'll, you know…" The aviator grumbled. "Get 'frisky'?"

Kairi groaned in embarrassment, leaning against Sora's shoulders. "Kill me now."

Sora laughed, obviously not fazed by Kairi's actions. I didn't get it. If it were me I would be fighting with my hormones right then.

"Oh no, Roxas knows when to behave," Sora's Mom chuckled, laying down the cutlery. There was something euphoric about the gesture… "He's almost seventeen."

"Well, our Namine is only fifteen," the aviator—who I learnt was called Cid by his nametag—muttered. "And Roxas is a guy. With raging hormones. And thousands of sperm."

"_Dad_!" Kairi moaned, burying her face in her hands.

I couldn't help but join in the laughter. It was pretty contagious. And the atmosphere of it all…it was surreal.

I wouldn't have minded just sitting there until dinner was ready, but Sora suggested we go and watch some movies. Thankfully, per Kairi's suggestion, I'd brought a few, so we had enough to watch. Kairi had brought a few as well, and after much debate we decided we'd start with _Inception_. We had finished _Inception_ and were halfway (well, more like quarter-way) through _500 Days of Summer _when Sora's Mom called us down for dinner.

It was only until we'd reached the table that I realized how hungry I was.

My stomach grumbled as I took in all the exotic meals that were laid out on the table—fish, prawns, rice, potatoes, carrots…stuff I always had to buy from take-away stores if ever felt like eating them. The smell filled my nose and my mouth watered.

As we waited for Sora's Mom to serve the food, there was a deep rumbling sound, and at first I thought it was my stomach until I realized it was Sora's.

Kairi shook her head in disbelief. "How can you be _hungry_? You just ate a huge cheeseburger and loads of fries!"

Sora shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. My stomach's a bottomless pit."

Kairi crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. "I don't get it. How come guys can eat so much and not add an ounce?"

I thought of making some kind of classy comeback, but I was all out, and, thankfully, the food arrived and we all got to dig in.

The taste was indescribable. All I can say is that I hadn't tasted anything that good for years. I don't think I had _ever _tasted anything that good.

I'd been so used to eating leftovers and take-aways and warm-up noodles for dinner that I'd forgotten how good seafood was. I loved seafood…for some reason, one day Dad just stopped buying anything seafood related. We had a lot of munny and everything, but Dad was stingy and didn't want to spend it on anything, really. Except my birthday parties. Which he usually commandeered all on his own.

I shook away the thoughts that were starting to leak into my mind. I had to block away _that _part of my life…for at least one evening.

Cid was telling everyone a story about one of his adventures in the air (see, I was right about him being an aviator!), and Sora could hardly stay on his seat. "…at first I was like '_This is it. There's no fucking way I'm getting out of here_.' I was about to give up when I remembered sum'n. I have a family—Ariel, my two girls…" He shook his head vehemently. "There was _no _way I was just gonna _give up_ when them were waitin' at home for me to get back."

"What happened next?" Sora persisted, bouncing in his seat. He didn't look like an almost-seventeen-year-old boy; he looked like a kindergartner awaiting his Christmas present. "Did the plane explode? Did just crash-land into a mountain? Did you _die_?"

Kairi started giggling, and I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous he sounded. "Of course he didn't, stupid. If he did die, then you wouldn't be talking to him right now."

Sora grinned mysteriously. "How are you sure he isn't a ghost?"

I didn't really know how to reply to that.

"Anyway," Cid continued, catching everyone's attention. "What happened next was a miracle, I tell ya." He gave Sora a knowing look. "Yes, Sora, I _did _crash-land."

Sora gasped. "No fucking way."

"Sora!" Sora's Mom—Aerith, I'd learnt—scolded. So she didn't like swearing…hehe…typical storybook Mom.

"But not in a mountain," Cid clarified. "Just so happened that I crash-landed into someone's backyard. Somehow, I managed to get out with minimal damage."

"How did you get back home?" Sora inquired.

"Well, this someone was a farmer, see, and, yeh, the crash burnt half his crops…but the company repaid him when he—ah, I'm getting to that. He, of course, saw the wreckage and came out to help me. Somehow he managed to find my ID, which miraculously hadn't been burnt to shit with the rest of my stuff.

"Then he called the number which was on my ID, yaddayadda you get the drill. Turns out they'd been searchin' ever since they lost signal."

"Wow…" Sora marveled in awe. "So I suppose while all this was going on, you were at home watching _Vampire Diaries _or something."

Kairi smiled, shaking her head. "Nah. We didn't know he'd been in a crash until he got back, though. Shocked us a little."

"Old git refuses to stop flying," Ariel—Kairi's Mom—shook her head disapprovingly at Cid. "They offered you a job on ground."

"What—you think just one stinking mistake is gonna keep me outta the sky?" Cid snorted. "You've gotta be fucking outta your mind."

"_Cid_…"

Sora still wasn't done. "So, you still fly then? Do you have your own ship? What's its name?"

Cid laughed, placing his hand in Sora's hair, and I flinched. For a second I thought Cid was going to yank his hair and throw him into a wall…

But all Cid did was grin and tousle Sora's spikes fondly. "You sure don't like to mind yer own business, do ya, kid?"

Sora shook his head, his eyes laughing. "I find that everyone's business is my business."

Cid's laugh got louder, and he patted Sora on the back, turning to Ariel with a grin. "I love this kid."

After the exchange, all my words just died down in my throat. I yearned for all this…this atmosphere…the happiness that radiated from the faces of everyone at the table…it seemed like a dream. Everyone was grinning…everyone was so, so happy…

I yearned for this. I yearned for being able to come home to somewhere where I had a Mom who would cook for me and where I had a Dad who would tell me stories and pat me on the back and where I'd have a cozy ancient couch and where everyone would be smiling. And if I ever felt sad or lost, I would crawl into my mom's lap and fall asleep and she'd sing to me and tell me there was no one out to get me and that I was safe, safe in her arms…

I wanted…a best friend—no, a brother—like Sora.

I suddenly felt really, really small. I did not at all feel eighteen years old.

It got harder and harder to swallow, and I eventually gave up eating, just staring at the food in my plate. I looked around the table, at Aerith and Cid and Ariel and Namine and Roxas and Kairi and Sora…

Sora was staring right back at me, his eyes curious and searching.

I broke away immediately, not wanting him—or anyone for that matter—to see my sadness.

* * *

**TWENTY-FIVE PAGES OF AWESOMENESS BAYBEE! **

**Yeah…and it ends with a great big dollop of angst. Well, whadda you expect? He's an angsty guy…**

**Xion was cosplaying as Rukia Kuchiki from Bleach, for those of you who didn't know. :)**

**Yeaaaah…I actually enjoyed writing this chappie. My back hurts, it's 1:45 a.m., but it's totally worth it. Now…onto the next chappie of ADDICTED! YEAH BABY! **

**Hope you all liked the Rion in this chappie…and the RiKai. Sorry, but if I didn't explore the RiKai pairing a little more then the next chappie wouldn't make sense.**

**Yes. The next chappie is THE chappie. Woot woot.**

* * *

_**Sneek Peek—SPOILER ALERT:**_

"_Get me a reservation for the Emporium."_

"_Sora? A good kisser?"_

"_Will you listen to me?" _

"_Kairi Bellamy-Price, will you be my girlfriend?'_

* * *

**Yeah…go RiKai? ||gets shot||**

**I'll post this tomorrow morning in school…my back hurts UGH.**

**Well…see you in the next chappie! R&R as you please! **

**Check out my polls…it'll pretty much decide if the Rion pairing is going to go anywhere or not. :D **

**Gotta…go…to…sleep…**


	21. About A Girl

**A/N: Uh-huh. We rock. Yo. **

**Replies…**

**Jellybean2799: Haha yeah, totally digging Rion. Think it's gonna be there for a while. Go Rikai though. And Penelo…yeah. She's pretty stuck up right now. Tidus and Yuna aren't together…but you know. They're talking again, at least. :D Lol…if you've read the latest chappie of Angel then you'd know how she reacted. XD **

**Twilight Yuna: I replied via PM. Yes. I disobeyed you. Hurrdurr. **

**0Wishful-Thoughts0: Seriously, please login before you review. I often forget when it's anonymous. Thanks! :D Anyway…Tidus and Riku…you'll see. UPDATE IS HERE. YAY.**

**Superpeanutbutter: Haha awesomesaucem! Sorry, this chappie's not as good…writer's block SUCKS! But yeah…SADDDDDNESSS. I am the Angst Princess. XD Time to go sleepy-bye, huh? Lol…well enjoy this chappie! Hope you're not reading THIS one at night, cause, if you're a SoKai fangirl, it might just give you a nightmare. D: **

**Omg I finished watching the BBS playthrough with commentary from HellfireComms…AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND TERRA'S STORY! SO. FREAKING. SAD. **

**Okie chokes, let's begin. With a bunch of Riku angsty rambling. ****Character development. **

**Disclaimer: RIEN RIEN RIEN DU TOUT. ****The name of this chappie was taken from the 'The Academy Is…' single. Though I'm not sure I know what it has to do with this chappie…whatever. 'It Girl', of course, belongs to JASON DERULOOO.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_We win Regionals._

We beat the rival team in barely forty minutes, winning seven points to zero, making the Regionals for the first time since…well, ever.

_Xion is stalking me…_

"What? I'm an embarrassment to you?"

"I hardly even know you but…yeah, pretty much."

_Kairi and I have our first…moment. _

It was worth it. Because I got Kairi to flash her smile.

_And I'm invited over to Sora's._

Sora's house…was not impressive. The carpet was rough, the ceiling had obviously been leaking once, and the paint on one of the walls was peeling…but, for some weird reason, it looked sort of…cozy.

_And I realize how much I crave a place I can call _home_._

* * *

**Chapter 21: About A Girl**

Dad was there when I got home. I tried to run upstairs without getting spotted, but I was too late.

"Riku?" He called. I stayed where I was, hoping that if I kept quiet he'd leave me alone. He didn't; I heard the sound of feet shuffling. I looked longingly up that stairs as he came into view.

He'd been drinking again, obviously, though he didn't seem as drunk as usual. I mean, he could still walk, and he recognized me. "Riku."

I remained silent.

"You…where were you?" His voice wasn't exactly angry, but it wasn't soft either. He just seemed annoyed. And tired.

"Out," I replied simply. "And I'm tired. So if you don't mind—"

He stopped me, grabbing my arm. I flinched, and for a second I thought he was going to…hurt me again.

But he didn't; he just span me around to look at him. "Riku. You're shutting me out."

I felt like rolling my eyes, and probably saying something along the lines of 'duh'. But my words were stuck in my throat. "…"

He frowned, though it wasn't really an angry frown. It was sort of a sad frown. That sad frown that made me want to punch a wall. "Riku…" His voice was freakishly soft, the kind of voice someone would use when talking to their lover, or something. "I said I was sorry."

I tried hard to swallow. His grip on my arm was strong, but strangely not painful. "I know."

His eyes were pleading. "So…I'm forgiven then?"

My anger came back then, and I yanked my arm out of his grasp, turning on my heels. I decided keeping quiet was better than yelling at him and stormed upstairs.

I made sure to lock my bedroom door before collapsing on my bed, willing myself to fall asleep, to block out the sound of Dad's fist slamming repeatedly against the door.

_Leave it to him to ruin a perfectly good day_.

I sighed, digging my nails into the sheets. I needed to get out. I was tired of it all—though I'd managed to evade the worst of Dad's wrath…

I couldn't believe he was trying to apologize to me, after what he'd done. I was pretty sure the scar from the bruise on my arm was gonna be there forever. Most of the others had disappeared, but the pain dug much deeper.

I couldn't trust him anywhere. I wasn't sure I could trust adults at all anymore. I'd tried my best not to catch Cid's—Kairi's dad's—eye at the dinner. For some reason, whenever he looked my way I flinched.

It was stupid, but I was starting to think that if I didn't watch out it'd become chronic.

The banging persisted. Dad's pleads turned into threats, and I started getting wary—what if he broke right through the lock?

I ignored it, though, and eventually the banging stopped. He said something I couldn't make out, and then I heard him leave.

I spent a few hours twisting and turning amongst the sheets, and then I realized I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep. The events of the day wouldn't stop running through my head, how much I wanted to be part of that. To have home-cooked meals, to be able to talk to my Dad without having to be careful about what I said, to have someone watching out for me…

Sora's parents were divorced, but at least they were still _there_.

I turned over onto my back, looking up at the ceiling, and then I felt my eyes drift over to my wardrobe. Where all the munny was…

I had to contact my idiot brothers someday. I didn't get what they were trying to do. Coax me in with munny? Did the old bastard really need me that much? He had a bunch of his lackeys doing whatever all over town…

Well, whatever they were trying to do, it was working. I started getting more and more tempted to use the munny.

I shook my head. I needed to save up for buying my own apartment. I was gonna get out of this hellhole as soon as I turned eighteen. Maybe.

Eighteen…it was barely weeks away. I'd finally be an independent adult. Or something. Sure, having to work for munny would suck, and I'd have to find a better job if I wanted to keep up with the rent and all the other stuff that came with living alone…

And, of course, I was going to have to face loneliness. I'd never really lived alone before.

But, hell, it'd be worth it, right?

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was on Monday morning that the idea hit me.

Dad hadn't left yet, surprisingly. He usually left for school hours before I did, because he was school faculty and whatever, but this time he was actually at the table. He glanced at me when I entered the kitchen, barely looking up from his newspaper. Because, yes, my Dad read the news.

We sat in silence, Dad sipping absently at his Red Bull—because this is what he took in the morning—and me chewing on stale Cheerios. He would look at me and avert his eyes when I looked back, and I would do the same. It was unnerving. He'd open his mouth every once in a while, as if to say something, and then he'd shut it again, which pissed the hell out of me.

Eventually I had enough. "Look, Dad. Let's make a compromise. You get me a reservation for the Emporium, and I forget you ever hit me."

He flinched at the last word, but quickly recovered. He opened his mouth to say something, and then decided against it. I was sick of him by this point, and picked up my bookbag and got ready to leave. "I'm out."

"Riku—"

I slammed the door shut.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Everyone was in a good mood on Monday.

Well, except Tidus, who was still being a pretty massive douche.

"Did any of you guys go to that party?" He asked tiredly that morning in homeroom. It was way too hot to be outside, so we were getting some shade inside instead.

"What party?" I asked. For some reason I wasn't in on this. Weird. "I never knew there was a party."

Shuyin shrugged. "Well. There was." His phone buzzed; he'd gotten a text.

Trey—a sophomore on the Blitz team—laughed. "Man, you guys didn't go?"

We all shook our heads and gave our excuses, and Jack—his sophomore friend—shook his head. "It was Penelo's birthday. You guys totally missed out."

I thought of asking who Penelo was, but Tidus spoke up before I could. "Penelo—she's that new blonde cheerleader who raps, right?"

_Ah. I remember her now_. I remembered she'd been in Sora's group before or something. "How come we missed out?"

"Didn't you hear?" Trey asked, seriously starting to get on my nerves by now. "Well, there were all these college girls that came over, and everyone got wasted and shit, and everyone played this Spin the Bottle game, and Sora ended up kissing, like, a dozen girls—"

I froze. "Wait, what?"

"What, you didn't hear?" Trey smirked. "Sora went to that party. Not sure why he turned up…whatever."

"You should have seen him, man," Jack laughed. "It was crazy, dude—who knew such a loser could kiss like that?"

I had a few questions for him—like, why was he insulting someone who was a year ahead of him, and why was he talking about how Sora kissed, unless, like, Sora has kissed him as well?—but I decided against asking them.

"You should've seen the girls, man," Jack chuckled. "They were all on about how good Sora is as a kisser."

I resisted the urge to snort. "Sora? A good kisser?"

"Yeah, if he wanted to he could have scored, like, half of the girls there that night." Jack shrugged. "But he didn't. Loser."

"I wonder if he's interested in men?"

For some reason, all of them looked at me.

"What?" I asked. And then I got it. "No way. Sora and I aren't romantically linked in _any_ way. Ew."

They nodded, and I heard Jack sigh in relief. I wondered how long the rumor had been going around.

Tidus wouldn't quit glaring at me for the rest of homeroom, and I decided that after school I'd better confront him about it.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I didn't even have to wait until after school. Tidus' douche level rose even higher in Sports.

I was shooting hoops—in the pool, of course—when Tidus ambled up to me with a smirk on his face. "Hey."

I was immediately wary. "Hey."

He leaned against the edge of the pool, watching me shoot hoops. "Do you have any intention whatsoever of getting Kairi?"

The Blitzball ricocheted off the edge of the hoop. "Wh-what?" I frowned, turning to Tidus. "What…do you mean?"

"It's just, you know, it doesn't seem like it." I opened my mouth to say something, but he blocked me out. "And, yeah, I heard of the totally sappy Valentine's gift you got her and everything, but…you know she hates the color pink, right?"

No. No, I did not know that. I nodded anyway. I didn't think it'd be wise to tell him I paid for the thing without even knowing what was in it. All I knew now was that whatever was inside it had a lot of pink. "I don't catch your drift." I picked up another Blitzball and continued my little game.

He rolled his eyes. "She totally spazzed when she found out about Sora's kissing expedition this morning. I'm not kidding. Shuyin told me."

"…and how did Shuyin know?" I muttered, trying to hide the fact that I was feeling pretty hurt. I mean, Kairi was jealous of Sora kissing other girls? It was pretty obvious from that…

"He was there," Tidus said with a shrug. "You know. Lenne."

I nodded slowly. "But…you know. Can't jump to conclusions. She was probably just fussing over him. Their relationship is pretty weird, but I'm sure she's not—"

"Look, I'm just saying—do something soon, or forget it altogether."

I sighed. "Whatever."

Tidus was silent for a while, and I felt his glare prickling my skin. "What?"

He snapped. "_That_. _That _is exactly what I hate about you."

I flinched slightly at his tone. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was still scary nonetheless. His glare didn't weaken at all.

I swallowed and absently tossed the Blitzball between my hands. "I…I don't get it…"

"How many girls have you fucked, Riku?"

I tried to look casual about it all, chuckling slightly and scratching the back of my head. "Seriously, I don't think I can count—"

"Is that cause the answer is _zero_?"

I stared at him incredulously, "What are you talking about?"

"I _know_," Tidus snapped. "I know you haven't really shagged anyone. Everyone knows."

I stared at him for a bit, and then I shook my head. I took a quick glance around the pool; no one seemed to notice our little argument. "I…honestly, Tidus, I don't get why you're so mad at me. All I said was—"

"You said I was an idiot. You said you and I are completely different people."

I vaguely remembered saying that. "I don't—"

"I don't get what's so different about us." Tidus absently ran his fingers through the water. "It pretty much sounds like you and I are in the same boat here."

I sighed. "Tidus—"

"Look, when I found out you're not a complete man-whore after all, I wasn't that surprised." Tidus crossed his arms over his Miami Beach sun-tanned chest. "I mean, I don't know shit about you, so I figured you were probably lying to us about, well, everything. You say I'm your fucking best friend, and I don't know half of the things a normal best friend would." He frowned. "I didn't even know you had a brother until that time last year when you said you couldn't come to school because you had your brother's graduation to go to."

(I vaguely remembered that lie. I'd accidentally fallen asleep while using the hair straightener, and had somehow managed to get a very bad burn right underneath my left eye.) I hesitated. "That's because it's none of your business."

"It _is _my business!" Tidus snapped. "You know, normal friends would tell each other these stuff, but _no_—you think you're way too high and mighty for the rest of us, don't you?"

I opened my mouth to retort…but I was all out of awesome comebacks. Thankfully, the other guys on the team hadn't noticed.

"You sicken me," Tidus muttered. "You'd better hurry up and get your head out from the clouds, because one day all the shit'll hit the fan and blow right back in your face."

I didn't even have time to ponder over this weird metaphor, because Tidus went on speaking.

"And…I saw the bruise."

I flinched. I was doing a lot of flinching lately. I swallowed, looking away and pretending to be preoccupied with shooting hoops. I was starting to shoot them astray way too much, and I figured Terra would start noticing soon. Not that he'd been noticing anything lately. He'd been pretty off lately. Hm.

Anyway.

"I know you didn't have a motorbike accident. I'm not that stupid; I know you've never touched that motorbike since you got it." Tidus frowned, but this time he just looked…concerned. "Why? What's so secret about your life that you can't tell us?" I noticed that he actually sounded vaguely hurt.

I kept my eyes trained on the Blitzball I was holding. I didn't trust myself to be able to look at Tidus without letting him see how I felt. I didn't want the same thing that happened at Sora's dinner to happen again. I sighed. "Look, just…drop it."

He was quiet for a while, and I could almost feel his stare. He stopped eventually, sighing heavily. "Fine."

He left then, leaving me feeling sort of guilty. Tidus actually cared, but for some reason I felt like I couldn't trust him. I'd let Sora know by mistake, and I didn't need someone else knowing. No one was supposed to know about the large part of my life that sucked. At least not until after I graduated and got out of this place.

But Tidus was right, and I knew it. If I wasn't careful, the day would come when 'all the shit would hit the fan' and everything I'd worked so hard to achieve would crash.

I sighed. I was thinking too hard.

My mind drifted to what Tidus had said earlier, about how Kairi had spazzed when she'd found out about Sora kissing a dozen girls at that party. (I was still wondering why Sora was at a party in the first place—he didn't seem like the partygoing type at all—but I shook it off). Sure, so it could have been a best friend thing…actually, no it couldn't. No best friend got jealous over who kissed who unless said friends liked one another.

I felt the familiar pang of jealousy again. I needed to do something—quick—if I wanted to get Kairi before he did.

But how?

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

My answer came when I got home from school that day.

Surprisingly enough, Dad _did_ get me a reservation at the _Emporium_. Hell—he got me _all _of it.

Okay, so my Dad had been planning my birthday celebrations ever since my first and everything, so it shouldn't have been a big deal. Until I realized how much that must have cost him.

Yeah, so we were pretty well-off and everything…at least until the whole bank-hacking scandal. (I knew informing Dad who was responsible for stealing from his bank account was pointless—if I did that, I'd likely end up either dead or fatally injured). The Triplets—as I liked to call them—had taken my advice and slowed down a bit, but it was still obviously troubling Dad how someone he didn't know had somehow managed to access his information. Dad liked being right and hated it when someone knew something he didn't. He hated not knowing who was messing with him, and this affected his mood. I knew him enough to know that I shouldn't get in his way when he was in one of his…moods.

Sometimes I believed he could just conjure up fire with his eyes only. His glare was that powerful.

Anyway, I came home from school on Monday evening to find a note stuck on the fridge.

_Emporium reserved for the 13__th__. Have fun. _

Suddenly, I had an idea.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The hallways were in a buzz for the rest of the week—everyone and anyone was talking about how 'awesome' my party was gonna be.

I'm not gonna lie; I had a feeling my party was gonna be pretty awesome—this was going to be the first time I'd ever gotten the whole _Emporium _reserved. Sure, I'd had a lot of badass parties in the past, but I'd never really been excited. I hadn't even asked for half of them, so they all seemed like a burden. But, this time, since I knew what I had planned…

As the days passed, Tidus' argument got more and more convincing. Knowing Sora and Kairi were neighbors made me wonder just how much they hung out.

Anyway. Days passed, and the day of the party drew closer and closer.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Everyone I invited—plus a bunch of other people I didn't invite—showed up at the _Emporium_ that Sunday. It wasn't that surprising. A whole lot of people I vaguely remembered crossing in the hallways came up to me and offered to do my homework, just so they could get in. I let them do my homework, but conveniently forgot to give them invitations. Yeah, so I sometimes felt like being a troll.

Anyway, they all showed up nonetheless. Not that I really minded…I was way too busy worrying over what was gonna go one later that evening.

The _Emporium_ soon became flooded with hordes of pubescent teen partygoers, several of them people I didn't know. Whatever. I was pretty used to college guys and girls turning up uninvited by now. The party music was so loud I had a feeling it could have been heard all down the street, but I had a feeling we wouldn't be having a problem with the police. Dad probably made sure of that.

Tidus and the rest of the guys were there, but Tidus was still ignoring me. He'd been holding a grudge against me since the last time I'd spoken to him, and he frowned when he saw me. I struggled to keep my expression neutral.

I was trying to focus on saying hi to everyone who came in—or at least nodding my head in their direction—instead of how much it must have cost Dad to reserve the place when Kairi showed up.

Okay, so Yuna and Lenne and all the other girls were there too, but, you know, whenever Kairi came into the scene it was like the rest of them completely disappeared.

Her hair was done in lovely red ringlets—or curls; I didn't really bother to tell the difference—and she was wearing a _lot _of make-up, that for some reason didn't make her look like a whore but instead just complemented all her best features.

And then there was the dress. Okay, so, yeah, I'd seen her in dresses before, but…wow. I didn't really know what it was about her and leopard print…but damn—it hugged her in all the right places. It made her look downright sexy and made me…well, pretty horny, to be honest.

I didn't realize I was staring until Fang whacked me on the back of my head. "Seriously?" Fang said with a raised eyebrow as Kairi and the others headed into the party. "People are gonna notice if you keep that up."

I didn't need to know what she was talking about, and instead changed the subject. "You made it."

"Yeah, I did," Fang said. She grinned, and I realized she'd braided her hair. Hm. She saw me looking and started twirling one of them around her finger. "So…wanna dance?"

Now, normally I would have said no, but I wasn't really doing anything and Kairi had disappeared into the crowd, so I didn't really see any problem. We danced companionably for a while, and the only reason it didn't feel awkward was because I was too busy trying to remember my routine for later that evening.

Time passed. The lights made me dizzy. I'd never really liked partying, but…this was my birthday party. I couldn't exactly call it off—especially since I had something planned. I downed a few drinks for extra luck, but made sure I didn't take too much. I didn't want to embarrass myself on stage.

I danced with a bunch of girls, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly, as the party raged on. A few girls tried to come on to me, and I simply ignored them, looking around for Kairi. I spotted Sora and was momentarily surprised that he'd showed up—(because, yes, I'd invited him. He was sorta my friend…)—and noticed he was being tugged by some girl. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't Kairi; she was some blonde chick I vaguely remembered.

I was still looking when my cellphone buzzed in my pocket, and I realized it was time. I took a deep breath and snaked my way through the crowd and onto the stage. For a few seconds, no one noticed, but then a girl cheered and everyone joined in. I looked to the right of the stage and Hayner—the techie—gave me a thumbs-up. (So, yeah, I usually steered clear of junkies, but when I heard Hayner was a pro technician I knew I needed him. I didn't need my Dad hiring anyone more than needed). I cleared my throat into the microphone and flinched as the sound echoed across the hall. Everyone laughed, and I tried to grin it off, even though my palms starting to get sweaty.

"Um, well, first of all I hope everyone's partying hard," I began, pausing for a bit as everyone cheered in assent. "Second of all…um…" I cleared my throat again. I'd never really had a problem with public speaking, so I was pretty annoyed at how nervous I was feeling. "…I'd…there's something I've wanted to do for ages now." I flashed the most confident smile I could muster. "…could Kairi come up to the stage, please?"

Everyone started to murmur and a few started to cheer, but eventually the crowd parted to reveal Kairi. She cringed as Hayner faced the stage-lights on her, revealing an embarrassed-looking Kairi in a leapord-print dress. She shook her head and for a second I panicked, but then the crowd somehow turned on her, ushering her towards the stage, cheering. The cheering increased as she stumbled up the steps, and I realized how much I'd put her on the spot.

Kairi's cheeks were ketchup-red as she stumbled onto stage, and I gave her an apologetic smile. Her eyes said it all. _This had better be worth it. _

I grinned. "Kairi…promise me you won't run off stage after this?"

She blinked, confused. "Wha…?"

She gasped as the introduction music started to play (courtesy one of Hayner's friends—Pablo or something), and I gave her an encouraging grin before starting to sing.

I hoped more than nothing that it worked.

"_I've been looking under rocks and breaking locks_

_Just tryin' to find you_

_I've been like a maniac insomniac_

_Five steps behind you…"_

I started pretty confidently, remembering all the words to the song, remembering all the dance moves I'd practiced—because, yeah, I'd been practicing—getting to crowd to sing along and all that. For a while I didn't think it was all that bad.

I put everything into the three minutes of the song, and I was even having some fun with it, and then, as I finished the bridge, I met her eyes.

And very nearly forgot my lines.

We held our gaze for barely five seconds, but it felt like eternity at the time. In those five seconds, I saw in her eyes that she really, really didn't want to be here. And, if I was seeing correctly, she seemed to be fighting back the urge to shake her head.

That was a huge blow to my confidence, but I tried not to let it show, continuing the song and finishing it off as well as I could. Everyone was cheering by the time I was done, and I hoped no one noticed how sweaty my palms had gotten. I sure as hell hadn't.

I didn't relax, though, because I knew it wasn't over yet.

As practiced, I approached her tentatively, praying she'd listen and not run off stage. She didn't—thank God—but continued to stare at me with those shocked amethyst eyes of hers. I took one of her hands in mine—sighing in relief when she didn't protest—and got down on one knee.

This part wasn't practiced, and I had a feeling everyone was thinking it was a bit much—including Kairi, because she flinched. But I was so damn exhausted and overwhelmed with emotion that I could barely keep on my feet…which, I guess, was pretty pathetic.

Anyway, I knew I had to get it over with.

I looked up into her eyes determinedly, took a deep breath, and asked her.

* * *

**GAAAWD. THIS CHAPPIE WAS HELL TO WRITE. Especially the ending. WHYYY?**

**Promise the next one will be better. NO. I HAVE TO QUIT MAKING PROMISES I MIGHT NOT KEEP. GAWD. **

**I managed to write a whole Addicted chappie while suffering from writer's block. But I won't post it just yet. Still need to do Angel…AND I KNOW THIS WILL PISS YOU ALL OFF BUT SERIOUSLY, I AM KEEPING TO SCHEDULE.**

* * *

**Hehe…well. Sneek peek, anyone?**

"_SAY YES!"_

"_What?"_

"_You…you tried to kill me…"_

"_I'm scared, Kairi."_

* * *

**YES. THERE SHALL BE ANGST. THERE SHALL BE DRAMA. **

**Because I roll like that.**

**Now I'd better get on with the Angel chappie. Cause I have a feeling that after you guys read this, you're gonna be about ready to sever my neck. **

**XXX R&R! **


	22. Accidentally In Love

**A/N: New chappie guys! **

**Reasons for my late update: 1) I HAVE BECOME ADDICTED TO FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! BY THE TIME THIS CHAPPIE IS POSTED, I WOULD HAVE FINISHED BOTH SERIES AND WATCHED THE FMA MOVIE! OMG! EDO-KUN FTW! 2) Decided to work on the latest episode of Fanmail. TAKES SO FREAKING LONG TO WRITE. 3) …homework. 4) Sorry, but I read fanfiction, too. **

**But whatever. Enough about…that. Replies?**

**Superpeanutbutter: Absolutely right. *sighs* Tidus can't understand him cause he's pretty naïve and small minded in this fic, which was probably one of the fails in character development. And thanks for the complement! I'm trying hard to keep them all in character…but sometimes I just get carried away and…yeah. Fails. And yeah…I needed to amuse the SoRiku fans out there. I dislike any kind of relationship between Sora and Riku unless it's bromance. Anywho, enjoy! **

**About this chappie: Fluffs galore. And BROMANCE at the end. **

**Disclaimer: I will own KH. When hell freezes over. And when Riku cuts his hair—WAIT HE'S ALREADY DONE THAT IN KH3D CRAP. 'Accidentally in Love' belongs to Counting Crows.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Dad and I make a compromise._

"You get me a reservation for the Emporium, and I forget you ever hit me."

_Tidus is still being a pain. _

"You say I'm your fucking best friend, and I don't know half of the things a normal best friend would."

_And I finally confess. _

_So now I'm here, looking up in her eyes, not sure whether or not I want to hear the answer._

* * *

**Chapter 22: Accidentally In Love**

As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I knew it was a mistake.

Her eyes widened considerably as she slowly digest what I was asking her. My heart was thumping so loudly that I hardly noticed how quiet the place was.

She stepped back, but I didn't let go of her hand. I had this weird illusion that if I let her go she'd run off stage, and then straight out of my life. She pressed her lips together, swallowed.

I anxiously held her gaze, trying to read her look. It was weird how easily Sora could do it, and yet I…I wasn't getting anything out of her look except fear.

But that couldn't be it, could it?

And then I saw it. If I'd averted my gaze for even a second I would have missed it.

The small, hesitant shake of the head.

It felt like my heart had plummeted to my stomach at that moment.

She averted her gaze, looking at the ground before raising her eyes to look off into the audience, as I struggled to regain my composure. What…what was happening? She didn't…she didn't just…?

I searched her face, trying to figure out what she was doing. Her eyes brightened momentarily when she spotted someone in the crowd, and she gave whoever she was looking at a look, as if asking what she should do. Well, at least that's what I figured she was doing.

She turned back to me, finally, her eyes full of…well, I didn't really know.

And then she opened her mouth to speak. "Riku…"

I had a feeling she wasn't going to say yes, and I freaked out, clutching her hand harder. It was crazy how much her answer mattered to me. I found myself asking myself what was wrong with me, why I'd sang a song to my crush on stage, why I was kneeling down as if I was proposing to her. Why my heart was beating so fast, why my stomach churned when she gave me that…that look.

Well, apparently no one realized she'd shaken her head before, because suddenly they broke into a chant. '_SAY YES! SAY YES!_'.

Kairi's cheeks flushed darker in embarrassment. I knew I had to do something, but I couldn't, because I knew totally agreed with them. I somehow managed to pull myself to my feet, still not letting go of her hand.

The screaming continued, and I could hardly hear her voice over the noise. I wasn't sure I wanted to. I didn't know what I'd do if she said—

"YES!"

The room went silent.

I stared at her, wondering whether or not I'd heard her correctly, or if I was just imagining things, or—

"Of course I'll go out with you, Riku."

The happiness I felt at that moment is beyond comparison. The feeling in my chest rose, higher and higher, and I found myself yelling in elation.

And then, without warning, I kissed her.

She flinched, startled, and for a while she just let me kiss her. And then she replied, deepening the kiss as fireworks went off in my mind.

It was crazy, really, how different this kiss felt compared to all the others I'd had. The drunken kisses, the random kisses, the playful kisses, the flirty kisses…all the kisses I'd shared with the girls I'd dated in the past…none of them compared to this one. This one true kiss.

Why? Probably because this was my first time kissing a girl I actually liked. Aside from Fang of course…but, to be honest, I'd never liked Fang as much as I liked Kairi.

I knew it was dangerous how much I liked her, but I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. She was kissing me back, after all, and she'd said yes…

Which meant she liked me as well…right?

I liked to think the answer to _that_ question was yes.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

We decided to leave at around eleven, because Kairi said she had to be home before midnight, and, plus, her feet were killing her. I didn't blame her; I mean, if I had to walk around in those heels for hours, my feet would be hurting pretty badly as well. We'd been dancing for hours, and it was pretty obvious she was getting tired.

So I offered to drive her home, since her ride was probably off somewhere making out with someone or whatever. We ended up making out at every stoplight, which I honestly didn't mind, but this meant it took us a bit longer than usual to get to her house. And when we did, we ended up kissing for at least another five minutes before Kairi pulled away.

"Seriously, I'd better get going," she whispered, giggling slightly. She kissed me on the cheek and climbed out of the car. I climbed out of the car as well, following her to the door, and she flinched in surprise when she realized I hadn't left yet. "Riku…"

"What?" I asked, smirking. "Your parents aren't in, right?"

I could practically hear her blush.

I wrapped my arms around her torso as she unlocked the door, amusedly watching her fumble with the keys. She eventually gave up with a huff. "Seriously, Riku?"

I laughed, but stopped when I realized she was frowning. "What?"

She sighed, unlocking the door. "Damn you and your good looks."

I felt a laugh rise from my throat as she pulled me inside, locking the door behind her, and then we were kissing again. I let myself get a little carried away, doing stuff I knew worked on girls before her, and basically winging it, really. It seemed to be working; she kissed me back just as eagerly, or at least that's how it felt.

We somehow ended up stumbling into her kitchen, and before I could figure out what was happening Kairi pulled away from me.

I was about to ask her what was wrong when I realized we weren't alone.

Namine, Kairi's sister, was there. With Roxas.

They seemed to be in the middle of baking, because Roxas was holding a half-licked spoon dripping with cake mixture and Namine was nibbling on icing. Both of their faces were speckled white with flour, and Namine blushed when she noticed I was looking at her.

"U-Um…" I couldn't help but smile at how cute Kairi looked when she was blushing. "S-Sorry…"

Roxas glanced between Kairi and I, and his eyes widened a little, as if he'd just registered something. And then he frowned. "I'd…I'd better get going."

"Yeah…" Namine's voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.

Kairi and I watched awkwardly as Roxas packed up his stuff—his guitar and his headphones; I wondered how long he'd been there?—before giving Namine a wave and leaving. Not before giving me a hard glare and slamming the door behind him.

It was strangely quiet as soon as he'd left. I turned to Kairi when she squeezed my hand. She was frowning, and it took me a while to read her gaze. And then I got it.

I cleared my throat. "Hn…yeah, I think I should head home too."

Kairi smiled and I stole her lips in a kiss. I was thinking of, you know, really kissing her when she pulled away and gave me an amused smirk. "Goodnight, Riku."

I laughed and patted her on the head before kissing her on the cheek and taking my leave. I felt strangely light as I headed back to the car and drove home, humming a familiar tune—I think it was the tune of the song Kairi had sung to me earlier that night. I remembered how shocked she'd looked when I kissed her, and felt myself smile.

It was only when I'd gotten into bed that my thoughts started to drift towards Sora. Had Sora been there? What did he think about me and Kairi being together? Why hadn't he…?

And then it hit me. Who Kairi was searching for in the crowd.

She was searching for Sora. She was asking _him_ what to do. _Sora _was the one who told her to go out with me.

But why? Didn't he…wasn't he…why would he do that…?

Didn't Sora like Kairi as much as I did? What kind of person would sacrifice their own happiness for somebody else's?

I sighed. I was overthinking. Sora didn't…

I let the fatigue take over then, drifting off into pleasant dreams of me and Kairi and lemon pancakes.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

On Monday morning, it was official: Kairi and I were a couple. Everyone knew about it, which wasn't a surprise because half the school had come to my eighteenth, and rumors spread like wildfire in our school.

I still hadn't gotten over the fact that Kairi had said yes. Okay, so she _had _been throwing me signs—like, a lot of them—but I guess when you're actually crushing on someone you miss those kind of things, doubt takes over and all that.

Anyway, I felt happier than I'd felt in ages. The fact that I could lean over and kiss Kairi whenever I wanted to made me want to hug someone, which was surprising because I hardly ever hugged anyone.

Rumors spread like crazy—that Kairi and I had had sex on the night of my birthday, that she and I were eloping, that the whole confession was staged—but I was too happy to care or notice. I figured a bunch on the guys on the Blitz team were pretty mad at me—half of them were thinking of dating Kairi before I asked her out—but I didn't really give a damn.

It seemed like ages since the last time I'd been dating, and it took me a while to get used to it. Especially since the girl I was dating now was, well, Kairi.

But I'd been dating girls periodically since I started high school. So planning our first shouldn't have been that hard, right?

Well, judging from the way Kairi blushed when I told her I was taking her out, Kairi apparently hadn't gone on any dates, so impressing her shouldn't have been that much of a problem. I decided I'd take her to the Fal'Cie Parlour, since that was where I'd taken all the other girls I'd dated on their first date, and it seemed to satisfy them.

It was amazing how nervous I was when the evening came, though. I spent the whole afternoon rummaging through my wardrobe for the perfect outfit. I knew this was pretty girly of me, but whatever. I finally settled on my classic rumpled tux, which I hadn't used in ages. It didn't smell that bad, so I just sprayed it all over with the cologne I had left.

I had a shower, went through the whole hair care routine and pulled on my outfit, but for some reason I was never satisfied. It was like this was the first time I was seeing all the flaws all of a sudden. Like how I suddenly realized how long my nose was, or how one of my eyebrows seemed to be longer than the other. I was probably imagining some of them, but I was too nervous to act rationally.

I facepalmed when I realized how stupid I was acting. "Come on, Riku! Pull it together! You've done this countless times before! This shouldn't be that hard, really!" I sighed. "Great, now I'm talking to myself."

I shook my head and figured I should better get going. I searched the cupboards for something to keep my mouth busy, finding nothing but a pack of cigarettes, so I decided I'd take one of them. I wondered if they belonged to Dad, because as far as I could remember he hadn't smoked since before I was born.

I concluded they belonged to Kadaj or one of the others and lit one of them before heading out. I glanced at myself in the car door mirror, and realized I did look a bit sexier with a cigarette in my mouth.

Well, at least I thought so.

I'd been waiting on the porch for about a minute when she came out, and her eyes widened when she spotted me…and then she frowned.

I got out of the car to open the door for her—I'd gotten totally used to doing that—and waited for her to slide into the passenger's seat. I was about to lean in to kiss her when she scrunched her nose and covered her mouth.

I frowned. "What?"

"You smoke?"

I could see from her tone that she disapproved. I slipped the cigarette out from between my lips and tossed it out the window. "No."

She gave me a dubious look, shook her head and looked out the window. It was only as I started to drive that I noticed how gorgeous she looked. Her hair was tied in a simple ponytail, but her bangs were left to frame her face. She hadn't really put that much makeup on—just enough to enhance her best features—and she was wearing a simple sea-green dress that barely brushed her knees. And, fortunately, she hadn't decided to wear those outrageously high heels. The shoes she wore seemed comfortable enough for a walk in the park. I decided I'd add that to our agenda.

We arrived at the Fal'Cie Parlor, where a seat was already reserved for us. I knew the owner of the restaurant pretty well by now; I used to come here almost every week with my new girlfriend. The owner grinned when he saw me, giving an approving nod as he took in my latest girlfriend, who was looking around the restaurant in awe.

"Trust me, Ryan," I whispered. "You'll be seeing a lot more of her."

Ryan, as expected, quickly befriended Kairi, and if I didn't know him better I might have gotten pissed at all the blatant flirting. But it was all just fun and games, I knew that. Next to Tifa, Ryan was probably one of my best adult friends. I hadn't seen him in a while, and I was glad I had an excuse to come back to this place.

(Not that Kairi was an excuse but…ugh. You know what I mean.)

We chatted idly, Kairi and me, until our food arrived, and then we dug in. Kairi was a pretty impressive eater—I hadn't really expected her to order a cheeseburger. Watching her eat was like watching a toddler eat—cute, entertaining, and highly amusing. I laughed as I wiped some stray ketchup off her nose, feeling proud of myself as the red color spread across her cheeks.

When we were done with our dinner, I decided to take her for a walk on the beach. I usually took whichever girl had suitable shoes for a walk, but we hardly ever made it anywhere without the girl either complaining about the heat or about how tired she was, or stopping the walk altogether for some intense making out.

Well, Kairi didn't do any of these things; it was strangely relaxing. We walked companionably across the beach, silently, listening to the sound of the waves in the background. It was spring, and the nights were neither too hot or too cold, which was convenient. There was the soft sound of crickets and hummingbirds, mixing in with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

Totally a Kodak moment.

"Doesn't get better than this, does it?" I turned to Kairi when I didn't get an answer. She seemed to be deep in thought. "Kairi?"

She snapped out of whatever daydream she was having. "Huh?"

I smirked. "What were you thinking about?"

She blushed. "N-Nothing…I was just…" She stopped herself, rubbing her bare arms. I figured the courteous thing would be to give her a jacket…but I'd forgotten to bring one. Crap.

So instead I wrapped my arm around her, hoping my body heat would warm her up. I was pretty sure I was blushing pretty hard, so that might have helped.

She leaned in my embrace, and we continued our walk. Every once a while we'd break the silence to tell each other something trivial, and then we'd go back to just walking, enjoying each other's company.

"We should come here more often," Kairi said after a while, flashing me a smile. "I love the beach."

"Me too," I replied, kissing her forehead. She murmured something, and I hugged her tighter. "We'd better get heading back, though. It'll soon be your curfew."

She nodded, not looking that disappointed. "Okay."

"Do your parents know we're dating?" I asked for the sake of it.

She shook her head. "They've got enough on their minds as it is. My Dad will freak if I tell him I've started dating you." She snorted. "And, trust me, you don't want to know how my Dad gets when it comes to…" She cleared her throat. "Guys."

I laughed. "Nah. It's pretty normal for a Dad to want his daughter to be protected."

She blushes, but she doesn't even bother to hide her face. I wondered how I hadn't noticed how much she blushed before, until now. Weird. I also hadn't noticed the birthmark behind her right ear, but that was because I'd never been that close to her before. She must have noticed I was looking at her because she had that nervous look on her face again.

I kissed her on the cheek. "C'mon."

She slipped into the passenger's seat, and I drove home. I liked to think that our first date had been successful—nothing disastrous had happened or anything, and Kairi was…well. I didn't really know, actually. I'd never been that good at reading people.

We got home and I thought of walking her up to the front porch, but she politely declined this offer. I got out anyway, and she shot me a halfhearted glare that I refuted with a smile of my own. She rolled her eyes as I followed her. I wondered whether I should have gotten her roses or something…but then I concluded that I didn't need to since I'd bought her all that Valentine's Day stuff.

She turned to me when she reached her front door, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Thanks. For taking me out, I mean."

I smiled, leaning on her forehead. "Yeah. I enjoyed it too."

"Mm." She kissed me lightly on the lips and pulled away. "Well…g'night."

I felt totally unsatisfied, but I tried not to let it show. "Night."

She probably noticed, but she didn't make any move to kiss me again or anything. She just smiled and disappeared into the house.

Sighing, I turned back to my car. I was just about to start the engine when I remembered Sora lived right next door. Since I hadn't seen him since before the party, I thought I'd pay him a visit.

I didn't get to, though. Roxas came out with the trash right then, and, to be honest, his glare scared me.

So I didn't get to see him. Which, for some reason, annoyed me. For some reason, I had a feeling he was mad at me. Well, if my theory was correct, he liked Kairi, which meant…was he ignoring me? On purpose?

To be honest, I thought, I wouldn't blame him.

But it was still disappointing. It had been a while since I talked to a real friend.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

The first real problem surfaced on Saturday, the day of our sixth date. I wasn't having that much trouble coming up with places to take her, because I'd been to the places so many times that I was given a discount for most of the reservations.

Well, our sixth date hadn't actually begun yet. Kairi had surprised me by coming over to mine—and I wondered if she'd followed me home, or if I'd accidentally disclosed my address in the middle of a heated kissing session or something, because I didn't remember telling her where I lived. Anyway, she came over and ended up having to wait in my bedroom while I had a shower.

I'd been planning to take her out to the beach, because it was the weekend and it seemed like forever since the last time I'd seen Kairi in a bikini.

I felt myself smile, and then I inwardly scolded myself for thinking about that. In the shower. Which was wrong on so many levels.

I paused momentarily at my door as I remembered Kairi was there and would see me in nothing but a towel…but then I realized she'd already seen me in Speedos so it wouldn't be that much of a deal anyway.

Toweling my hair, I flashed the sexiest smile I could muster and walked into my bedroom. "I'm not gonna lie; I feel totally—"

I cut myself off when I saw the look on her face.

Kairi was there, but she wasn't sitting on the bed like I thought she would be. She was at my desk. Looking in…the drawer.

You know. The drawer where I'd kept all the…rubber.

I hadn't really used any of it, of course—(I'd gotten a whole bunch of it in SexEd the previous year, and Shuyin said owning them made you look experienced, or something like that)—but I had a feeling Kairi didn't know that.

"Riku…" She turned to me, shutting the drawer with a thud.

I felt myself starting to blush. "Hey." I pulled out a pair of boxers and gave her a look. "What—you gonna watch me dress up?"

Her reaction was unpleasantly impassive. She lowered her gaze. "I'll…be waiting outside."

She had nearly reached the door when I caught her arm. "Hey." She didn't look at me, and, frustrated, I pulled her closer, looking her in the eyes. "What's up with you?"

She bit down on her lip. "Riku…I…I don't think this is working."

I stared at her. "Wh…What?"

She hesitated. "Riku, what am I to you?" And then she added, bitterly: "Just another priceless work of art in your gallery of 'chicks you'd like to fuck', huh?"

It took me a while to respond; I was still trying to get over the shock. And then I saw the tears threatening to overflow, and knew I had to do something. "N-No…what would ever make you think that?"

"L-Lenne, a-and Yuna and the rest of them…" She sniffled. "It's pretty depressing knowing that all these dates are just being recycled and reused on every single girl you stumble upon." She yanked her arm out of my grasp. "For a second you had me fooled that you actually liked me, you know. But I'm not as dumb as you probably thought I was. I'm smart enough to figure out where this relationship is going." I didn't have to think twice to know what she was referring to. "And I don't want to look stupid when you eventually get tired of me and—"

I cut her off right then, muffling the rest of her words in a kiss. She protested at first, but eventually responded, wrapping her arms around my neck. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but eventually I had to pull away. I knew kissing her wasn't going to be enough to erase all the crazy garbage that had been fed to her.

"Kairi…" I heard myself laugh. "I thought you knew me better than that."

She was blushing furiously by now. "Mm…"

I smiled, absently stroking her bottom lip. "I can't blame you, though. I mean, I've been pretty inconsiderate to women in general in the past but…" I sighed. "You aren't 'just some girl' to me, Kairi. You're…" I chuckled. "…to be honest, you're the first girl I've actually liked…"

Her eyes widened. "Ri…Riku—"

"You're much more important than just some accessory," I continued. "You're…you know, I don't really have any words to describe you without it sounding incredibly corny."

She giggled. "You hit Maximum Corniness when you sang to me at your birthday, so I don't see how one more can hurt."

I chuckled, wiping at her unshed tears. "Want me to sing you another song?"

She shrugged, twirling a strand of my hair around her index finger. "Depends which one." She cringed. "But…I think you should wear some pants first."

_Oh. Right. _I'd completely forgotten I was still in nothing but a towel. "What? Am I making you uncomfortable?" She rolled her eyes and I resisted the urge to ruffle her hair. I retrieved my outfit from my wardrobe, deciding I'd better hurry up if we didn't want to be late. "I'll try and hurry up. You know, a face this amazing takes a lot of work."

She rolled her eyes again, and this time I couldn't stop myself and kissed her lightly on the head.

I didn't miss the way she flinched when I whispered: "Love you."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Two weeks in and Kairi and I were still running steady. This probably shocked a lot of people at school, because, apart from Fang, I hadn't ever stayed with anyone for more than a week.

Anyway, as our relationship chugged on, I started to notice a few things I hadn't noticed in the first few days of our relationship. Like how she always seemed to flinch when I touched, caressed, or kissed her. The way she'd always drift off into some train of thought, and tell me it was nothing when I'd ask what was wrong. The way she'd always stare at _his _table during lunch.

And I also noticed how she started acting more and more like Yuna, Lenne and the rest. Which I usually wouldn't have minded. But this was Kairi I was talking about. And she was one of the most down to earth girls I knew.

I was worried, but I forced myself to push the thoughts to the back of my mind, to enjoy the moment.

Because I was pretty sure I knew what the problem was.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

My suspicions hardened on the Thursday of the second week. We were in Drama. We'd practically finished the play, and as soon as we finished the two remaining scenes, all that would be left were the costumes and special effects.

Everyone was fed up with Drama by now, and probably couldn't wait to get over and done with it.

At first, I wasn't that weary that Sora and Kairi were doing a duet. I'd known from the start; Sora was the main character after all. And since Sora and Kairi were best friends, there wouldn't be that much tension between them…right?

I'd hardly seen Sora in the past two weeks, so I wasn't sure whether it was my eyes deceiving me or if Sora had actually forgotten how to smile properly. His distinctive radiant smile that surfaced whenever he and Kairi talked had almost completely vanished, and was replaced by a fake, ghost-like one.

It freaked the hell out of me, to be honest. And I honestly had no idea what was wrong with him.

And then he started to sing, and it all became clear.

The song was a corny R'n'B ballad about two people in love, with a contagious beat and pretty kickass vocals, and I had a feeling Dad was going to go all out with the special effects. Some people _still _hadn't gotten used to the fact that the former school punchbag had a talent; people _still _whispered whenever he walked on stage, whenever he and Kairi conversed, whenever he waved at me. Because he waved at me a lot. Like we were friends, or something.

Which, I guess, we were.

Or at least I thought so.

Anyway, the song got a lot better when Kairi's part came in, and for a while I just got lost in her voice. (Come on, Kairi was freaking perfect. It wasn't fair that I wasn't allowed to gloat about my success to my friends, because she'd somehow end up finding out and go on a rant about how this apparently meant I was considering women as objects.) I was so distracted by everything else about her that I didn't see what was happening until the last minute.

As the song neared its end, their voices got stronger and stronger, the space between them diminished at an alarming rate, and it was getting pretty obvious what was about to happen. The look in Kairi's eyes was blazing, not in anger, but in another emotion I was too afraid to admit.

The sang the final note in harmony, faces barely inches away from each other, and everyone watched as Sora reached up to stroke her hair. It was like he'd completely forgotten where he was…and so had Kairi.

Thankfully, the bell rang just then, breaking Sora, Kairi, and everyone else watching out of the awkward trance.

"Brilliant choreography," I heard Dad say from his desk. "Taken one job off my back. Keep it up." He ticked it off his clipboard, and then he sighed. "Dismissed."

As the class dispersed, I found myself marching up to the stage and territorially wrapping my arms around Kairi, kissing her on the forehead. I realized how warm her face was. She was blushing.

Sora blinked at me, and I wondered whether he'd grown taller. He grinned, that same faint, awkward grin that made me shiver.

The jealousy slowly subsided as Sora descended the stage and Kairi and I headed out. Kairi was pouting. "Did you seriously have to do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, frowning slightly.

"It's just…" She hesitated, and, after a while, sighed. "Never mind."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I started feeling guilty as soon as I got home, and made a resolve to go check up on him. I had a feeling he hadn't been working out while I was away—I mean, he wasn't exactly a fan of exercise—and I hadn't had time to work out either, for obvious reasons.

There was also another reason I'd called him decided to call him up: I'd been walking back to my car from the Paopu Palace (where I'd been arranging another date), kicking up the warm beach sand, and had been so engrossed in texting Kairi that I'd somehow ended up walking all the way to the other end of the beach.

Where I'd found something. Or somewhere. I didn't really know, but I…kind of needed Sora's help to find out what it was.

Which is how come I found myself ringing his front doorbell at six o'clock on Monday morning.

Sora opened the door, barely stifling a gasp. His eyes widened; he obviously wasn't expecting me.

"Hey." I waved uncertainly. "You…you're up."

He stared dully at me, and I took this time to examine him. His hair was an unruly mess, and he had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while. He looked like he'd just gotten out of bed, too, judging from the stained undershirt and undershorts he was wearing. "What are you doing here?"

I didn't really have a good excuse, so I winged it. "Well I came to pick you up. Step to it—we gotta hit the beach in ten."

He stared at me, confused, and after a while of him saying nothing I yelled at him that he'd better hurry up or else he'd regret it. This seemed to work, because he immediately disappeared inside and came back a while later.

A couple of women from across the street were checking me out—it was obvious—and, since I was polite, I gave them a wave. They waved back, and I even saw one or two of them blushing. I had a feeling none of them were still in high school.

Sora gave me a weird look when he noticed what I was doing, but seemed to decide against saying anything.

"You ready?" I asked. He nodded, and then we set off.

We ran for a while, in silence, and then we headed down to the beach. It was a hot spring morning and I wasn't about to spend it cooped up in a small building with dozens of other sweaty bodybuilders. Instead, we ended up working out down at the shore and even swam a little, and then I decided we'd better head back to mine, because I'd forgotten my Gatorade and Sora looked about ready to pass out.

He collapsed into the passenger's seat, gasping for air. He was smart enough to bring his inhaler though, which was a good thing. I didn't need him suffocating and dying in on my watch.

I rolled down the windows when I realized how the AC wasn't helping anything. Sora absently tapped on the window sill. It was starting to get unnerving, but I tried not to show it. I vaguely remembered he had some sort of concentration problem.

He eventually noticed I wasn't dropping him at home. "Hey…where—"

"Thought you'd want a drink after all that."

He took that as an answer. My hands tightened around the wheel as we approached the house. I prayed Dad wasn't in, because I didn't want to risk Sora finding out about…how he treated me.

Sora apparently hadn't been to my side of town before, because he looked pretty confused. And then we arrived at my house.

I got out of the car, he followed me. Dad wasn't home, thankfully, and I felt myself relax. I turned back to Sora, who was looking around the house as if he couldn't believe I lived here.

I chuckled. "Impressive, huh?"

He hesitated. "It's better than mine."

I chuckled at his attempt to be polite, heading to the fridge. "Want anything? Red Bull? Gatorade? Pepsi? Beer?"

He snorted. "Right. I totally wanna get thrown off campus today at school."

"We don't have school today. It's a national holiday." I wasn't sure what it was exactly, probably for some ancient mayor's commemoration or something. We didn't have that much of a history on the islands, and I had a feeling the government just picked random dates to put holidays because they felt like it.

He face-palmed. "Right. I knew that."

I tossed him a Gatorade, and we sat in silence, the drinks refreshing us. It was weird how awkward it was. I hadn't seen him in what seemed like ages.

For some reason, at that moment Kairi's face popped into my head. And then I remembered the way he smiled, sadly, when I kissed her on the forehead in Drama…

"How you been?" I found myself asking.

He stared at me for a while, and then he shrugged. "Been okay. What about you and Kairi? Things goin' okay?"

It was my turn to stare. Sure, I wasn't expecting him to pour out his feelings to me or anything…but I'd expected him to be at least a little bit bothered by it. I shrugged. "Yeah…we're good."

"How far've you got?" He asked. "With her, I mean?"

I felt myself blushing. "That's not really any of your business…"

He shrugged, smirking slightly. "Okay. Just curious."

Silence.

I eventually finished my drink, tossing it in the trash. I needed some way to get rid of the awkward atmosphere. "You up for a movie?"

He shrugged, and we headed to the living room. I picked out three random movies. "So, I've got Limitless, Killer Elite and Blood Diamond. What're you up for?"

"Wow." Sora swallowed forcefully. "Action. Yay."

He ended up picking Limitless—my newest pick—and we began the movie. I'd watched it like ten times before, but I usually lost interest after the first or second view and pretty much got tired of the storyline. I was glad he picked it, because I realized how much I actually liked the movie. I mean, there was sex, drugs and a whole lot of ass-kicking in it. What more could a teenage guy ask for?

Sora, on the other hand, would flinch whenever someone got shot or sliced up in some way. It was obvious he wasn't into action movies, and I felt myself smirk.

He finally broke down at the huge action scene near the end, just as the protagonist was drinking the other druggie's blood, which, I have to admit, did make me feel like gagging myself.

"You okay?"

He tried to nod, but ended up sprinting to the nearest bathroom and throwing up in the toilet. I winced when I realized he was actually honest-to-God spewing his insides out, and even started feeling a little guilty.

Which is probably how come I ended up rubbing his back. And, no, at the time I hadn't realized how gay it looked.

"You're such a pansy," I remarked.

He pouted. "Well, sorry for not liking to watch people cut themselves up."

I laughed at that. "Look, you asked for it."

I let him throw up for a while, and decided to get him some aspirin. "It helps."

He took it. "Thanks."

I took the glass from him and went to dump it in the sink. He followed me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "What happened at the end?"

"He got over his addiction," I replied. "I've watched it at least ten times."

He nodded. "Right."

I fell back onto the couch, watching the credits roll. "You up for another movie?"

"Not…not really."

I laughed at the grimace on his face. "Look, we could watch the Hangover or something…you've watched that, right?"

He said yes, but we watched it again anyway. I'd watched it, like, a thousand times already, so I knew most of the jokes, but it still managed to amuse me. Sora's stomach didn't act up, thankfully. The weird tension in the air gradually disappeared.

Then I figured if we didn't leave soon that it's end up getting too late and I'd never figure out what The Place was. I told Sora we were going for a walk on the beach, and, weirdly enough, he didn't protest.

There were more people at the beach by now, but fortunately I didn't have to face any doting girls or anything like that. We jogged all the way to the far end, the sun beating down on our skin. I didn't have to worry about getting sunburn; I wasn't sure whether it ran in my veins or whatever, but I was incapable of getting a tan. Which I didn't really mind, to be honest. I had a feeling dark skin would clash with my hair color.

We arrived at the end of the beach, where the levies blocked further passage. I craned my neck as Sora tried to regain his breath.

"Okay…so I guess we just run back now, huh?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

I shook my head, pointing upwards. "Nope. Look up there."

He looked. The Place was a hole in the wall I'd discovered not too long ago. It was at least two feet from the ground, and looked like it had been there for quite a long time.

"Whoa," he whispered, which I found was pretty unnecessary. "Where does it lead?"

"No idea," I replied. "I saw it a few days back and thought of exploring…but then I remembered that's your thing."

He grinned, his first real grin in a while. "Shall we?"

I felt pretty happy, to be honest, that I'd made him smile, and felt myself smile back. He looked around for a possible way to reach it—probably for a ladder ot something. And then, to my horror, he started climbing a tree.

I lingered on the ground, looking for some kind of ladder or something. Sora was already halfway up. "You look like you're humping the tree."

"C'mon." He laughed. "This is the only way up."

I crossed my arms, intent on finding a _safe _way to reach the hole in the wall. "Y'know, I was thinking maybe we could build a ladder or—"

"C'mon, it's easy!" He urged, his hands groping the branch. "Look, you have to find a hollow space in the branch…"

"You look like a monkey humping a tree," I grumbled.

He pulled himself up so he was seated on top of the tree. "Look, weren't you the one who wanted to show me this place?"

"Yeah. I was. But…" Okay, so another reason I'd invited Sora was because I couldn't climb. So what. "I was thinking maybe you could help me…get…up there."

He grinned. "Sure."

After what seemed like ages of scrambling, scraping and stumbling, he managed to help me climb the tree. I was panting, as freaked out as ever.

Sora wiped his hands on his shorts. "Okay, so now all we gotta do is jump."

"The hell?" I protested, not liking the idea at all. "Look at the…we'd fall!"

He seemed to hesitate a bit. "No we won't. It just takes time, direction and perseverance."

I huffed. "I knew it. You're suicidal. Go ahead—kill yourself, but don't you dare take me with you."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Seriously, Riku? You're scared of heights?"

_Yes_. "No, but I'm scared of falling and shattering into pieces."

"Nuance."

I attempted another insult, but then I nearly lost my footing and had to stifle a scream. I watched in horror, sure Sora was going to trip and fall at any second, as he leaped from tree to tree, looking very much like a monkey on steroids.

I also realized how far he was getting. "Sora! Don't you _dare _leave me here!"

I could almost hear him grin. "I thought you said I shouldn't take you with me?"

I didn't have a choice. "…I take back what I said. I'm too young to die. I've got years ahead of me, a bright future, with a wife and twins and a million-dollar mansion in Beverly Hills."

I knew I was overdoing it a little, but it seemed to work. He came back and somehow managed to help me until we only had one jump left. One huge jump. If I missed it I'd probably end up smashing to pieces on the ground. "No way. No way, Sora. I'm gonna miss it. There's no way I'm making that jump."

"Sure you are!" He patted me on the back, nearly making me fall off the tree altogether. "Sorry?"

I glared at him for a while, wondering whether or not I should trust him. I realized I didn't really have any other choice. "You go first."

He did, managing to land pretty safely, before turning to me. "C'mon, Riku! It's safe!"

So I did.

Only he forgot to get out of the way and I ended up unintentionally glomping him.

"What the hell?" I heard him wince, trying to push me off. He wasn't succeeding. "I didn't tell you to jump me!"

I glared at him and punched his arm. "Your fault for not getting out of the way." After a bit of awkward shuffling, we managed to get to our feet and examine our surroundings. Just as I'd expected, the hole in the wall led somewhere. There was a curtain of seaweed and two blocks of wood nailed to the sides of the hollow in the wall, like some kind of 'POLICE DO NOT CROSS' sign.

I heard Sora chuckle. "Talk about _The Secret Garden_."

I ignored his joke and pulled back the seaweed. And then I gasped. "The hell…?"

Through the hollow in the wall was a cove. Or some sort of mini beach. I wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed to be some kind of old beach resort or something, with beach umbrellas and old picnic tables littering the shore. It was probably closed ages ago because it quit looking presentable, or something.

"Oh my god it's a beach," he whispered.

I didn't think it was all that much; in fact I wasn't impressed at all, but it seemed to intrigue Sora, judging from the way he was grinning like hell and everything.

"Wow," I muttered. "This is…disappointing."

"No it's not," he retorted, his smile widening. "This…this could be, like, our private beach."

We managed to clamber down from the tree, exploring the cove. Sora's idea didn't sound so bad. I walked down to the shore, absently soaking my feet in the salty seawater.

I was starting to drift off, the way I always did when I was near the shore, when I heard Sora shuffle. I turned to him, and barely held back a gasp in awe when I realized what he was holding. It was a wooden sword, carved oddly in the shape of what seemed to be a backwards key or something.

"Badass sword, Sora," I commented, approaching him. "Where'd you find it? It sorta looks like a—"

"Key," he whispered. "A Keyblade."

I stared at him, knowing that name was familiar. And then I got it. "What? Isn't that, like, what the swords are called in that video game out play is meant to be based on?"

His fingers tightened around the wooden hilt. "This is my brother's toy sword. He made it…ages ago."

"How did he know…?" I began. Sora shrugged. Weird.

I let Sora examine the sword/Keyblade/whatever for a while, and then I cleared my throat, picking up another random wooden sword. "So. Up for a brawl?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

I let him keep the key, because my sword gave me the advantage anyway. I'd also done fencing when I was a kid—one of the many activities I'd been thrust into by my Dad so he wouldn't have to take care of me—so I pretty much knew everything there was to know about fencing.

He sighed, crouching down in some weird battle stance. "Don't hold back."

I chuckled. "Oh, I won't."

We counted to three, and then we sprang at each other.

I sidestepped, the way I'd learnt as a kid, before heading fullspeed for his knee. His eyes widened, as if he wasn't expecting it, and I felt myself grin. _Get ready to lose_.

Just when I thought I'd won, his Keyblade came out of nowhere and my sword went flying.

I gaped in surprise, staggering backwards as my sword tumbled into the sand with a clatter. He'd disabled me in barely three moves. Me, who was an expert at swordplay. He'd managed to defeat _me_.

"Where…where did you learn to do that?"

He didn't answer, just examined his Keyblade again, adjusting his hold on the hilt.

"Hey, I call a rematch," I insisted, feeling gutsy and pretty humiliated that he'd beaten me. "And I'm not letting you off easy this time."

We played again, the tension completely disappearing. Sometimes he won, sometimes I won. I quickly caught on to his technique and managed to figure out how he fought. We fought for hours, and I realized I hadn't had this much fun in ages. It wasn't about winning for me anymore.

I hated to admit it, but as we fought I completely forgot what the obstacle between us had been. Or, more precisely, _who_ it had been.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

After a whole hour of brawling, we were sweaty and tired, and I suggested we head home. Climbing out ended up being a lot harder than it had been to climb in, and I regretted my choice of not using a ladder.

"I told you, Sora," I muttered, getting ready to jump to the next tree. "We should have gotten a ladder. If you end up falling, don't expect me to—gah!"

Ironically, I ended up losing my footing and tumbling down with a crash. At first I felt nothing.

And then the searing pain came. "Fuck."

My ankle felt like it was on fire.

I heard footsteps; Sora had finally realized I was in pain. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just _FINE, _Sora!"

"No you're not," he retorted dumbly. "You're groaning and your foot's swollen and—"

"I KNOW THAT!" I snapped, the pain only adding to my frustration. "I think I've broken something…just…this is all _your _stupid fault!"

I regretted saying that almost immediately, but I tried not to let it show. He looked pretty unsure of what to do, but eventually reached out his hand. "C'mon. Lemme help you up."

I glared at him, but I soon realized it was pointless staying angry at him for something so stupid. And, plus, I didn't think I was going to be able to walk on my own. He slipped one of my arms over his shoulder and used his other hand to hold me up by my belt, somehow managing to support me enough so that I wouldn't put too much pressure on my aching ankle.

It hurt at first, but I eventually got used to the pain as we headed back down the beach. I tried not to focus on how much it'd cost me. If my ankle was broken, I probably wouldn't be able to play Blitzball until it healed, which was pretty bad. It'd make everything a lot harder, and I'd probably have to go around in those horrible crutch-support-whatevers until I was better.

We walked for a while, in silence. Sora refused to speak; he was probably too scared to. For some reason, I felt guilty for making him worry over me when it was pretty much my fault for bringing him here.

"You know…" I said after a while, not really sure why I was telling him this. "I always figured I was better at stuff than you."

Hurt flashed in his eyes, but disappeared as quickly as it came. "Hm. Really?"

"Are you mad?"

He shook his head, a small smile gracing his face. "Nah…I always figured that too."

The silence returned as we trudged on. The aching in my foot got worse and I insisted we take a rest. I had a feeling Sora was as tired as I was. I knew I was pretty heavy.

The sun was setting, the rays sending an orange glow over the waves. They splashed against my feet, soothing the pain a little. The fatigue was threatening to take over. Sitting at the shore always did that to me.

I felt my gaze drifting towards Sora. He was leaning back, closing his eyes, enjoying the evening breeze. It nipped at his unruly hair, making the chocolate spikes do a wild dance that was strangely intriguing.

As I looked at Sora sitting there on the beach, the sunset splashing his skin with an orangey-golden glow, the wind tousling his hair, I realized how much of a threat he was. He did actually look pretty good looking, to be honest. It wasn't that surprising he had so many admirers.

But Sora, of course, naïve as he was, was totally oblivious to this.

I was the one to break the silence. "You like Kairi, don't you?"

I watched him carefully, as he flinched, as if I'd just slapped him on the face. He immediately regained his composure, though his smile had weakened considerably. "Yeah."

I turned back to the waves, the guilt and the jealousy flooding my senses.

"Sora…I know you might think I just asked Kairi out because I want sex, but…honestly, Sora, I really, _really _like her. I want…I don't know what I'd do if we ever ended up breaking up…I'm serious about her, and…you get that, don't you?"

I hadn't really meant to blurt that all out, but I knew we needed to clear things with each other when it came to Kairi. She was pretty much the only thing that was preventing us from becoming best friends. (Well, her and the fact that being his best friend would bring a whole lot of gossip and unnecessary attention.)

He shrugged, as if it was no big deal. "Sure."

This angered me for some reason. I guess I'd wanted him to show a bit more emotion. I shook his shoulder. "Hey. Look at me." He turned his unfeeling eyes towards me. His smile had vanished, and the guilt had started to resurface. "I just want you to know that I'd never _ever _do anything that would hurt her."

He looked away. I realized only then how much I meant what I'd said. How important Kairi was to me.

He turned back to me, smiling wanly. "You'd better not."

I gave him a determined nod, and his smile widened slightly, a ghost of his trademark cheesy grin haunting his features. "You know…I'm actually happy for you guys. Happy for her…she has someone as good as you…to make her happy."

_Leave it to Sora to make me feel as guilty as hell for stealing his best friend._

It wasn't fair. Sora was just too fucking nice. I didn't understand how he was still able to stay friends with me after I'd knowingly taken Kairi from him and flaunted her in front of his eyes. I regretted all the times I'd kissed her in the hallways just because I knew he was looking. I found myself remembering the haunting sad smile he'd always give me, in the hallways, in the cafeteria, that time in Drama.

It just wasn't _fair_. He was supposed to be _mad _at me.

"What I said back there…about thinking I was better at stuff than you…" I continued. "To tell you the truth, Sora…" I sighed. "I was jealous of you."

He stared at me incredulously, as if he wasn't sure if I was bluffing or not. "What for?"

I looked away. "I wished I could live life the way you do…just following my heart." I struggled not to let my voice crack. God, I was getting way too emotional. "I don't get how you stay so nice…no matter what anyone throws at you."

He shrugged. "Yeah…well, I've got my own share of problems too."

I stared at him. "Like what?"

He chuckled. "Like…wanting to be like you."

I averted my gaze, feeling both flattered and guilty all over again, but smiling nonetheless. "Well, there is one advantage to being me. Something you could never imitate."

I could almost hear the smirk in his voice. "Really? What's that?"

And then I said: "Having you for a friend."

I felt his eyes on me, and then his soft chuckle. "Then I guess…I'm okay the way I am." The sun set beneath the waves, marking the end of one of the best days of my life. "I've got something you could never imitate too."

It was then that I realized how much I needed Sora's friendship.

* * *

**HO YAY. LET THE FANGIRLS SING. **

**Yes, so…yeah. This chappie was meant to be much longer. But I'm sure the few RiKai fans would want a little more RiKai, huh? Not gonna stuff all of it into one chappie…that'd be cruel. Sorry, some of the stuff in the sneek peek won't appear until the NEXT chappie…lol. Soz. **

**Watch out for the Angel chappie! It'll explain A LOT.**

* * *

**Sneek Peek:**

"_Short hair is sexy."_

"_You did great."_

"_You…you tried to kill me…"_

"_I'm scared, Kairi."_

* * *

**Yeah. So I promise these ones will appear in the next chappie.**

**SO WATCH OUT! SHIZ IS ABOUT TO GET REAL! **

**And…you know what they say. Equivalent exchange!**

**P.S: If you haven't watched any of the FMA series, then I'll just say…you review, I update! Though I'll probably update anyway, even if you don't review. I mean, I've got a Philosopher's Stone— *gets knocked out by fans who seriously don't care***


	23. Here In Your Arms

**A/N: More Riku…sighs. **

**Still getting over my FMA addiction…FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERHOOD! LOVED IT!**

**Now…replies?**

**Honeydew: …huh? *hasn't played Minecraft* Oh…hehe I was actually referencing Full Metal Alchemist…hehe…which, by the way, is an amazing anime…which you ALL must watch. **

**BLANK: Lol…whoever reviewed forgot to put their identity…so I made one up. XD Anyway yeah…yay for best friend-ness! :D **

**Okay, so about this chappie…there'll be a lot more angst than the last one, to tell you that. Some fluff…but mostly angst. Sorry. For the sake of the plot. And my selfish desires. XD **

**Disclaimer: Don't own any characters or songs used in this chappie. The title belongs to the HelloGoodbye song 'Here in Your Arms'. Seriously. GIVE RIKAI SOME LOVE.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Kairi says yes._

"Of course I'll go out with you, Riku."

_And I'm falling harder and harder for her._

"You're much more important than just some accessory. You're…you know, I don't really have any words to describe you without it sounding incredibly corny."

_And I realize Sora is the closest thing I'll ever have to a best friend. _

"I don't get how you stay so nice…no matter what anyone throws at you."

_And though everything may seem perfect, I know there's no avoiding the problems I'll surely have to face…_

* * *

**Chapter 23: Here In Your Arms**

* * *

_You are the one_

_The one who lies close to me_

_Whispers "Hello, _

_I missed you quite terribly."_

* * *

Kairi cut her hair.

At first I was horrified—because she looked so uncannily like Xion that it scared me—but then I got over it and realized how sexy it made her look. Which was weird, because I'd always liked long hair…but I guess it was just Kairi.

I wondered why she'd decided to cut it short, and when I asked her she refused to give me a direct answer, as if she was too embarrassed to tell me.

Tidus was the one who reminded me.

I'd asked Kairi if I could use her house to hold a movie night with the guys, because Shuyin's relatives were staying over and none of the other guys' houses were available. I gave her some lame excuse about my house being fumigated, and she agreed with it.

So me and the guys headed over to her house on Tuesday night. (Turns out my ankle injury was just a bruise, so I was able to walk, even if I did limp a little. The school nurse had said it'd disappear in a couple of days, which was a relief.) Kairi's house wasn't exactly the best guy-friendly location, with the expensive décor and all, but it was better than nothing. I knew Tidus didn't buy my fumigation story.

Well, someone suggested we watch Sucker Punch, since, apparently, there were a lot of hot girls in saucy outfits in it, and we were all hungry for boners.

Okay, not really, but I had a feeling that the movie was manufactured for sexually frustrated men with a whole lot of time on their hands. There wasn't really that much of a plot, just a bunch of ass kicking and random anime-type fight scenes. I wasn't sure what the theme was—Shuyin suggested that it was female domination, Wakka said it was about abandonment.

All in all, it was pretty dull. But the guys seemed to like it though—I mean, there was Abbie Cornish in it.

"Babydoll has my vote, hands down," Tidus said a while later as the credits rolled. One of the guys had asked our opinion on our favorite girl, apparently.

"Nah," Shuyin protested. "She's way too Japanese Barbie for my taste. I prefer Sweet Pea."

A few of the other guys seconded his statement, while Tidus and one or two others insisted that Babydoll was the sexiest.

"You guys are disillusioned," I joked. "Rocket is clearly the sexiest. Short hair is sexy."

It was intended to be a joke, but a bunch of them seemed to agree with me.

I guess I'd forgotten Kairi was there. Oops.

I guess the fact that she cared way too much about my opinion all of a sudden should have been a warning sign.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Since Kairi was my girlfriend, and since everyone expected me to be there, I had to go the glee club Regionals on Friday. I'd gotten pretty tired of going, especially since they hadn't won them since when we were in eighth grade, but, well, Kairi probably expected me to be there, and I knew she would see right through any excuse I gave her. Shuyin had already booked us all seats, so I didn't really have any excuse. Tidus probably made him buy them.

The theater was full. The Regionals were a lot more official than the Sectionals, so people were either dressed in suits or in evening attire. I felt pretty underdressed in my pre-ironed dress shirt and jeans, but no one really seemed to care. I think I recognized a bunch of kids from some school in Spira, which was a town not that far away from Destiny Islands. Several of the girls tried to flirt with me.

Thank God Kairi was backstage as all this was happening.

I absently texted Fang as I waited for the show to start. Now that Fang and I had settled our differences, she was actually a pretty decent person to talk to. Sure, she did act like a slut when the situation allowed, and she still went around thinking she was hotter than everyone else, (which, to be honest, she probably actually was), but she was one of the only people apart from Sora, Kairi and maybe Tidus that I felt I could actually not lie to unless absolutely necessary.

Well, it used to be Tidus. He still wasn't on good terms with me. Sure, he'd decided to quit being a dick, but he just didn't talk to me as much as before. And I'd catch him looking at me with a disappointed frown whenever I told anyone something he knew wasn't true.

I was in the middle of telling Fang she looked best in blue—she was getting ready for a date—when the lights dimmed, signaling the start of the show.

A brunette woman took the stage, greeting everyone and introducing the panel of judges. Then she let the first group perform.

Unsurprisingly, it was the all guy group from Spira, who called themselves the _Maesters_. They all sang pretty well, but we all knew to hate them. Well, the main lead at least, Seymour Gaudo.

Tidus and Seymour weren't exactly on good terms, per se, and to prevent him from doing anything rash we all had to pretend we disliked Seymour as well.

The thing is, Yuna used to date Seymour a while back, before their break up in Yuna's sophomore year. Seymour was a bit over-possessive of her and wouldn't let her go anywhere or do anything without her telling him where she was going and who she was going to see. At the time he went to South Destiny College, so the distance was less, but it was still too far for his comfort. Yuna eventually got fed up with it and Seymour and Yuna had this huge fight in our school courtyard…to say the least, it wasn't pretty. Yuna was completely torn after that ordeal, and, well, since she was one of the most prominent female figures in our school, all the guys automatically hated Seymour. (Tidus was the one who hated him the most, but he wasn't stupid enough to try and take Seymour head on, all by himself. I hated to admit it, but Seymour is at least two times more buff-looking than me.)

I hooked up with Yuna not too soon later, which probably pissed the hell out of Tidus.

What sucked was that Seymour actually had a killer voice. Which was why the_ Maesters_ had beaten the Songstresses every single year so far.

They managed to go through two Maroon 5 songs and a Backstreet Boys song without sounding totally gay doing it. Which is pretty remarkable.

A bunch of Spira girls cheered his name as he and his team bowed and waved and basked in their glory. I yawned.

Another group from Ivalice was next, a blend of upbeat dance tunes and excellent choreography taking the next eight minutes. Apart from the fact that they were great dancers, there wasn't really anything impressive about them. The judges seemed to like them, though.

I was seriously starting to get tired when they announced it was the Songstresses turn.

We all cheered them on as they took the stage, Kairi looking positively stunning in her little black dress. She managed to look sexy and cute at the same time, and I had a feeling that was what whoever styled her was aiming at. I realized she was wearing the necklace I'd given her, along with two or three of her bracelets. Tidus was there too, and we were all required to cheer him on. Unfortunately he wasn't wearing an embarrassing outfit, so we couldn't really make fun of him that much, which sucked.

The routine was planned differently this time. The main singer in the first song, surprisingly, wasn't Kairi, Yuna _or _Lenne. It was the pink-haired girl with the ponytail, who hung out with Sora and the rest. Serah, I think.

She sang a pretty moving ballad about salting cuts and bandaging damage. Her voice was actually amazingly good—probably better than Lenne's, though Shuyin would have killed me if I said that out loud—and it was pretty weird that they'd only used her as a background singer before. Tidus joining in and singing in harmony with her made it even better, but it wasn't that much of a show stealer.

The next song was a typical love ballad with catchy lyrics and a soothing beat, sung by Selphie, Zidane and two other people I vaguely remembered. To be honest, it was pretty impressive, amusing enough to distract me from my texting conversation.

They finished it off with a catchy R&B melody with cocky, fun lyrics—and what made it even better was the fact that Kairi, Lenne and Yuna were the main singers. Kairi seemed to be a whole different person on stage; the innocent schoolgirl façade disappeared and was replaced with a fun, saucy version of her.

Whatever. I felt so lucky to have her as a girlfriend.

Everyone cheered as their routine came to an end, and then the woman came back to announce the intermission. They came down to meet us soon after, almost all of them beaming like crazy.

Kairi was smiling too, and she gave me a deep kiss on the lips, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her cropped hair made her look a lot more mischievous. "Hey."

I mumbled something and made to kiss her again, but she stopped me before I could, smirking playfully. "Wait."

Now, if it were any other girl, I wouldn't have taken that seriously and kissed her anyway, but this was Kairi. I forced myself not to show any annoyance. "Mmkay. You were great up there, by the way."

"Thanks," she giggled. She gave me a look, as if she was waiting for me to ask her something. I stared back at her. She sighed. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

I stroked her hair. "Uh…"

She grinned. "You haven't noticed Yuna and Tidus aren't here?"

"Well of course not. As soon as you walked in here I forgot where I was."

She gave me a look that clearly showed she did not approve.

"Tidus and Yuna aren't…" I looked around. Surely enough, the two were the only ones in the whole team who weren't—

_Oh_.

"You don't say…?"

Kairi sniggered. "You should've seen the look on Seymour's face when Tidus told him off."

"Whoa." I absently drew circles with my thumb on Kairi's palm. I honestly wasn't the hopeless romantic-type, and I didn't usually like meddling in other people's love life, but Tidus particularly interested me. I had a feeling if Yuna and him got together, he'd quit acting like an asshole. "So…Tidus confessed or what?"

"Well…" Kairi closed her hands around mine. "Sorta. Seymour tried to flirt with Yuna and Tidus went ballistic."

"…so how does that qualify as confessing?"

"Because…it was a totally Prince Charming move…" She shrugged. "I dunno."

I laughed. "Right."

We ended up kissing until intermission was over, and then she had to go take the stage so they could announce the winners.

"Wish me luck."

"Did you seriously think I needed to be told that?"

* * *

They won.

The Songstresses won the Regionals for the first time in years.

And Tidus and Yuna _hugged_.

Which, I guess, was a start.

At that precise moment, everything felt perfect.

I didn't feel like anything could possibly go wrong.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was wrong, of course.

It was the fourth week of our relationship. Come the weekend, Kairi and I would have been together for a month. The following week would start the Spring Break, and Kairi and I were considering taking a trip to Ivalice for the break, if her parents allowed her, that is.

I was still trying to convince her on Wednesday, trying to coax her into saying yes.

"Riku…" She hissed, swatting my hand away from her thigh. "Stop that. It's not working."

I frowned. "Well talking to you isn't working either." She flinched as I continued tracing circles on the soft spot on her knee.

Her face scrunched as she tried to stop herself from giggling. "R-Riku—"

"What?" I feigned obliviousness.

"Ri-ku…" she struggled to hold her frown. "We're in class…"

I shrugged, and an adorable blush spread across her face. She held my hand under the table to stop me from trying it again, giving me a warning glare. "Quit it. I need to concentrate."

I rolled my eyes. "Kairi, I know you better than that. You already know all this stuff."

"W-Well…" she pouted. "You need to concentrate."

"Kairi. I'm running on my second junior year. I've done all this crap already."

She sighed. "Riku…sexually harassing me isn't going to help me agree to go with you any more than formally asking me would have."

I laughed. "Sexually harassing you? It's only harassing if you're not enjoying it."

She didn't seem to like my perverted joke. "Ugh."

I kissed her on the cheek. "I was kidding."

She nodded, leaning on the base of her palm as she tried to pretend she was listening to anything Squall-No-It's-Leon was saying.

"Hey. Kairi."

She turned to me, looking pretty frustrated. "Hn?"

"Promise me you'll think about it."

She sighed, smiling slightly. "I have thought about it, Riku. Just…" She decided not to finish her sentence as the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Well, for me at least. Kairi still had glee practice and all that whatnot.

I walked her locker, and then all the way to the Music Room, like I'd gotten used to doing. "So…see you later, then?"

She smiled, kissing me lightly on the lips. "Of course."

I probably would have kissed her more, but she stopped me before I could, like she always did. I'd tried not to look frustrated. "Later."

I watched her disappear through the double doors, sighing. After a while of staring dazedly at the doors, I decided I'd better get ready for our date later that evening. I'd planned to take her out to the beach again, for a sunset picnic. I mean, after I'd seen it with Sora, I figured it'd be a lot more romantic if I watched the sun set with a _girl_.

I was in a pretty good mood as I drove home, grinning at anyone who passed me by, at random pedestrians, at the traffic wardens. I probably looked like a psychopath, but whatever. (I planned to head home, take a well-needed shower, get some more flowers for Kairi. She seemed to like flowers a lot. I think she'd told me once, but I couldn't remember what he favorite flowers were. Dandelions or something like that. )

But, of course, Dad was the one who had to ruin it for me, to forcefully pull me out of the dream I appeared to be living in and back into harsh reality.

The door was open when I got home. Dad wasn't usually home at this hour, but the TV was on, and I was positive I hadn't left it on in the morning, so I had to conclude he'd come back early. He wasn't in the living room, so I figured he was upstairs, taking a shower or something.

I was proven wrong when I arrived upstairs and found him in my room.

Dad never went into my room, partially because he never needed to and partially because I never let him in. I locked the door before I left for school, locked it before I went to bed. I'd probably forgotten to lock the door that morning; I was too preoccupied with texting Kairi, most likely.

"Hey." I dropped my backpack onto my desk. "Hey. Dad."

He turned to me, and I was taken aback by the ferocity in his glare. "Riku…what is this?"

That was when I realized—he was standing in front of my wardrobe. Holding wads of crisp munny notes.

_Fuck fuck fuck—_

I attempted to make a run for it, but before I could even try he'd grabbed my arm and slammed me against the wall. Pain surged up my back and I was barely able to stifle a moan.

"Riku. _Answer me_."

I could smell the alcohol in his breath, could hear the frantic pounding of my heart as I tried to figure out what to do. _Fuck_.

"I…I don't know what you're—"

"Bullshit!" He snarled, whacking me across the face. I pressed my lips together until the pain subsided. "Where did you get all this munny?"

I was unable to answer, and this just angered him even more. He let out a manic laugh, which just scared the hell out of me. "I should have known…you're working with those sick bastards who stole my munny, right?"

I attempted to tell him that wasn't true. Bad idea. He just got angrier. More pushes, more shoves.

"What did I do wrong, Riku? You have no idea how much I've sacrificed for you. I'm working down at that stupid school, working my ass off just so I can pay for all the crap you keep asking me for. Do you have any fucking idea how much I spent on your stupid eighteenth birthday sex fest you demanded? Five hundred thousand munny. A fucking five hundred thousand munny on that party you just _had _to have. Ungrateful little cunt—I give you everything a guy could possibly want, and this is the thanks I get?" He kicked a nearby chair, and I watched it hit the floor with a thud. He had pretty good aim for someone who was supposed to be half-drunk. "I knew it was you. You've always been the idiotic little rebel, haven't you? How do you feel, betraying your own father?"

I snapped right then. "How do I feel? I'm glad you asked. You don't know how much of a nightmare it is, living under the same roof as you!" I growled, giving him a shove for extra measure. "I'm _jealous_. Jealous of Mom who was lucky enough to be able to get away from you before I did!"

I should have known bringing Mom into the conversation would trigger Dad's Berserker Button, but…well. I was fed up with him blaming everything on me.

For a second, there was silence.

And then Dad cracked.

He was drunk, he was angry, he was depressed. And, plus, he was taller and stronger than me, which meant I was highly in the disadvantage. At first he just landed punches on me, which I'd gotten pretty used to by now, but eventually he started getting brutal and moved onto kicking and kneeing me in the stomach.

And then it happened. He was trying to aim a punch at my face and I raised my hands to defend myself.

This didn't sit well with Dad, and his hands went straight to my neck.

My breathing hitched in my throat as his grasp tightened. I desperately tried to push air into my lungs. I could feel myself getting dizzier every passing second. I struggled against Dad's iron grasp. I had a feeling the black spots in my eyes weren't a good sign.

I was losing oxygen—fast—and only one thought was running through my mind.

_He's going to kill me—He's going to kill me—He's going to kill me—_

I felt just about ready to pass out when suddenly Dad let go, and oxygen flooded into my lungs once more. I collapsed to the ground, coughing, gulping in air, my throat burning from the pressure I'd exerted on it. My vision hadn't completely cleared yet, but I was able to make out Dad, looking down at me disdainfully, as if he'd just realized what he'd been trying to kill me.

_He tried to _kill_ me._

"You…you tried to kill me."

He stared at me, shaking his head wordlessly.

And then he turned on his heels and left me in my room.

I heard him slam the front door behind him not too soon later.

I lay there on the ground for a while, too sore to move. My arm felt twisted, my stomach felt like it had been put in a blender, and my neck ached like hell. I was pretty afraid to find out how my face looked like. I'd prevented him from landing any black eyes on me, but both of my cheeks felt sore, and I was pretty sure they'd start swelling soon. Which would be very unflattering.

I felt pathetic. I wasn't able to do _anything _against him, and I was one of the strongest guys in the whole school. I felt like utter crap.

And then something clicked. Something told me that if I wanted to live, I had to leave. _Now_.

So I pulled myself up from the ground, ignoring the indignant screams of pain coming from the affected parts in my body, and pulled out the smallest suitcase I could find. I tossed in a few shirts, my uniform, a pair of sneakers, a coat, my toothbrush, and a hairbrush. I stuffed the remaining munny notes—the munny that Dad hadn't stolen—in my backpack and headed downstairs.

I wasn't sure how long I'd be away, so I equipped myself with two bottles of water and a packet of potato chips, just in case. I got some Band-Aid for my cheek—which _Sephiroth_ had somehow managed to break—and stole a bottle of aspirin and stuffed them in my backpack with the rest of the stuff.

And then I picked up my backpack and suitcase.

And ran.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I didn't know how long I ran for, or where I was going. I just needed to get away.

I took several buses to nowhere, trying to figure out where I should go. I felt pretty dumb. For a second I contemplated going back home and pretending Dad didn't almost kill me.

I shook that thought out of my head pretty quickly, though.

After nearly an hour of going absolutely nowhere, I knew I needed to plan out what I was going to do. I was eighteen, which meant I was legally allowed to live on my own. I knew the munny I had on me wouldn't last more than two weeks. The clothes I'd taken wouldn't last more than a week. I'd left my car at home, because I knew that, eventually, Dad would snap and find a way to track my location, probably going as far as asking the police. My only means of transport was the bus, which was convenient because taking the bus was free.

I munched absently on my potato chips as I thought things over. First, I needed to find somewhere to stay. I knew I couldn't go back home—it was too late for that now. I thought of spending a night in the Children's Shelter, but I'd seen the conditions in which they lived, and I wasn't really a fan of bad hygiene. The number of prostitutes there was pretty high, and…well. I kind of had a little phobia of…them.

I did go and check it out, though. The girl at the desk offered me a free night's stay if I slept with her.

I decided to look elsewhere.

I ended up dropping off at a post office, looking through the Yellow Pages until I found a place called _Timeless River_. It was apparently a group of apartment buildings, for cheap prices, and I decided to check it out.

By the time I got to _Timeless River _it was already almost six. I realized soon enough there was a reason why the apartment buildings were cheap. The roof leaked, the walls were peeling, the stairs creaked. The number of graffiti wars going on in Building F (the apartment building I'd be staying) was phenomenal. It looked depressing.

I didn't really have a choice but to accept it, though. I was hungry, I was exhausted, and I needed a place to spend the night.

After jiggling the lock several times, I managed to open the door to my apartment. Plaster fluttered from the ceiling like confetti as I creaked the door open. A thick lining of dust lined the floorboards. The apartment consisted of one bedroom, a miniature kitchen and a bathroom. I was too exhausted to care.

I locked the door behind me, and it was only then that the cruel reality of my situation hit me.

I'd finally moved out.

It wasn't as exciting as I'd thought it would be.

The aftereffects of all the stomach punching and uneasiness finally showed, and I ended up throwing up extensively. My hunger only increased at this, and so did my fatigue. I felt stupid. I felt sick. I felt like punching myself.

As I ran the tap over the sink, I wondered if Sora would let me stay over at his house. Maybe not forever, but for a few days, maybe, until I found somewhere of my own. He'd said once that I was free to come over whenever I wanted. My stomach growled as I remembered how his Mom's food had tasted. I remembered the warm, lively atmosphere of his house. I remembered the way everyone had been laughing, smiling. I remembered the way Sora's Mom lovingly stroked his hair, the way Kairi's Dad wrapped his arms around her.

And then I remembered Kairi.

I gasped. I looked at my watch. It was almost seven. She'd probably thought I'd stood her up for our date or something.

I picked up my phone, and I noticed how much my hands were shaking. She didn't pick it up on the first ring, so I redialed. I started getting desperate when she _still _didn't answer, leaving a message telling her to call me back as soon as possible.

She called me back immediately, sounding worried. My heart leaped at her voice. "Riku…what's wrong?"

Huh. I must have sounded pretty pathetic for her to know something was wrong without me telling her anything."I…" I swallowed, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "Can you come over, please?"

She asked where 'over' was, and I ended up having to tell her my address. She said she'd see me soon.

The wait felt excruciatingly long for some reason, but she eventually arrived. She was in what I supposed was meant to be her picnic dress, but she didn't seem all that angry that I'd 'stood her up'. Her smile disappeared when she saw my face. "Riku…"

I tried to smile. "Hey, Kairi."

I leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped me before I could, running her fingers over my lips, cupping my cheeks as her eyes examined my face. I tried not to wince as she stroked one of my cuts. "You…" Her eyebrows creased in worry. "Were you sick?"

I nodded, as her hands dropped from my face. "…you could say it like that." I let her in, closing the door behind her.

She took in the apartment, obviously not liking it one bit, but struggling to seem optimistic. "Wow…is this your apartment?"

"Guess it is for now," I muttered, absently scratching my hair. She frowned, following me to my 'bedroom', which was already equipped with a bed, thank god. The mattress squeaked when I sat down on it.

She sat down next to me, taking in the rest of my bedroom. She spotted my suitcase and my backpack leaning against the wall. And then she turned to me, looking worried as hell. She obviously didn't like my bedroom any better than anywhere else in the house. "Riku…what happened?"

...So I told her. Everything. I told her things I'd never told anyone else, not even Sora. I poured out everything from my Mom's death to my brothers harassment to my Dad's hitting me, without hesitation.

And she listened, silently taking it all in, rubbing my back soothingly, just when I needed her to. By the time I was done, she was practically in tears.

"Oh my gosh, Riku…" She whispered. "Why haven't you told anyone any of this?"

"I…" My voice cracked embarrassingly, and I was pretty sure I was on the verge of crying as well. _Fuck_. "I'm scared, Kairi."

A painful silence followed, and the hopelessness of my situation hit me once again. I felt terrible. I felt lost.

I felt her hands stroke my aching face, her fingers stroking the sores on my neck. A lone tear ran down her cheek, and I felt horrible that I was the one responsible for making her cry.

"Well, d-don't be!" She hissed. "Stop keeping all your problems to yourself! You've got to trust other people with stuff like this! I'm…I really care about you, Riku! And so does Sora!" Her voice shook, and more tears ran down her cheeks. "Sora and I will always be here for you, no matter what!"

I kissed her then, desperately, hungrily. Warmth shot up my veins, and the pain momentarily disappeared. She eventually broke away, and I pressed my lips against her cheek, trying to steady my breathing. "Kairi…I love you."

It was silent for a while.

And then I heard her shaky voice, barely above a whisper. "I know."

And then I broke down crying.

I cried and cried, feeling pathetic and babyish and utterly depressed. She whispered that it was okay, that everything was going to be alright, cleaned me up, rubbed my back, let me lie down on her lap as she sang me to sleep.

Like the mother I never had.

* * *

It was then that I realized just how much Kairi meant to me.

She was my light in the darkness, the girl who lifted me up when I was about to fall.

She gave me the strength to believe that everything might just turn out okay.

I knew it wasn't healthy, to think that way. To be dependent on one person for your happiness.

Kairi didn't love me as much as I was in love with her. Heck, she wasn't in love with me, period.

I could see it in her eyes, as clear as day.

But I chose to ignore it.

* * *

_I fell in love_

_In love with you suddenly_

_There is nowhere else I could be but_

_Here in your arms…_

* * *

**BLEHH CHAPPIE. IGNORE HUGE CHEESE-DRENCHED ENDING. YAY SONG INSPIRATIONZ. ORZ. **

**Yes…so this chappie has been done since…but I decided to give you guys a little gap between this one and the previous one…so yeah. **

**Sneek Peek:**

* * *

"_Do you want to get us killed?"_

"_I'm not coming back."_

"_Don't you dare touch me!"_

"_C'mon! Live a little!"_

"_Sora?"_

* * *

**Yeah…poop is gonna hit the fan. D: **

**Well, R&R. You know. Let's follow alchemy's first law, peeps. You review, I update. Or, you know…the exchange doesn't have to be equivalent and I can just update… xD**

***hops off to go listen to all the songs in her new SPEAK NOW WORLD TOUR LIVE CD/DVD SHE JUST BOUGHT!* **

**XXXX Later taters. **


	24. Do You Know

**A/N: Yeah…get ready for some MORE angst! *gets shot by angry reviewers who, honestly, are FED UP WITH MY ANGSTY WAYS* Sorry guys…but IN THE NAME OF PLOT DEVELOPMENT! **

**Life? Hm…just did my midterms…didn't fail them as badly as I thought I would. I've also joined the clan of Pretty Little Liars watchers who are now anxiously waiting for January 9****th****. EZRIA FTW. **

**Replies…**

**Anonymous: Thanks! Have fun reading! **

**Superpeanutbutter: Fang? Um…I don't think so…Xion got the most votes so she would be the most likely contender…but Fang's not out of the story completely though. Read on! **

**SORRY TO ALL THE PEOPLE I DIDN'T REPLY TO! ITS JUST THAT MY WEEK HAS BEEN SO FULL AND I'VE BEEN PROCRASTINATING AND ASDFGHJKL! I PROMISE I'LL SPAM YOUR INBOX AFTER YOUR NEXT REVIEW! **

**About this chappie: ÜBER LONG CHAPPIE ALERT! Honestly. It's, like, really long. I really should have cut this one into two chappies but…meh. It's like the average Teenage Wasteland chappie…which is saying something. (TEENAGE WASTELAND FTW). I might actually cut this in two if people start complainen. **

**Disclaimer: All I own is the highly complicated plot. And THE RIGHT TO FILL A CHAPPIE WITH ANGST! MUAHAHAHAHARRR! I Caught Myself belongs to Paramore, Glitter in the Air is by P!nk, and Enrique Iglesias owns the wonderful song 'Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song). FTW.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_The Songstresses win the Regionals. Whoop. _

And Tidus and Yuna _hugged_.

Which, I guess, was a start.

_I get attacked. _

"You…you tried to kill me."

_I run away._

"Riku…what happened?"

_And I confess._

"Kairi…I love you."

_And she knows._

_I love her…so, so much._

* * *

**Chapter 24: Do You Know**

I woke up the next morning with a bad headache.

I groaned, pushing myself up on my elbows before falling back down on my pillow as pain shot up my arm. _Ugh. I must have slept on my arm again._

I rubbed my eyes, reaching out to find my alarm clock—

I stopped short when I realized my hands were touching thin air.

The events of the previous day came flooding back, and I felt like throwing something. It wasn't just a bad dream.

I dragged myself off the bed, realizing how much it ached all over. My left side hurt; Dad must have bruised my ribs or something. I winced as my headache worsened, and decided I'd better get some aspirin.

I brushed my teeth, and realized how much my Dad had fucked up my face. My left cheek swollen pink, and he'd punched me so hard he'd cut the skin underneath my right eye. I ran my fingers over the cut and realized it had been cleaned up, leaving just a thin slit of open skin. I wondered if Kairi had done it.

_Kairi…_

I vaguely remembered falling asleep to her singing, and absently ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't believe I'd actually broken down like that the day before. It was gonna be pretty awkward the next time I saw her. I'd told her all the crap that was going on in my life, and I wouldn't have blamed her if she felt like telling everyone.

I headed to the kitchen, realizing it was clean, spotless. All traces of vomit had disappeared, and someone had cleaned the dust from the surfaces. _Kairi_.

I fished out the bottle of aspirin from my backpack and got myself a glass of water, gulping it down. I was about washing my glass when I heard someone rapping on the door.

It was Kairi. In her uniform, brandishing a mini lunch cooler. "I…I brought you breakfast." She took in my appearance, barely holding back her frown. "You're not ready for school yet?"

I rubbed my eyes, which were still sore, trying to ignore my headache. "Mm. I wasn't…really planning on going to school today."

I let her in, closing the door behind her. She frowned. "You have to go to school…it'll be weird if you don't show up."

I snorted, leaning on the counter as I watched her pull out a container of pancakes. "Kairi—have you _seen _my face?"

She shrugged. "Yeah…but I was thinking maybe I could cover it up with makeup or something. And you could lie about what really happened, like you always do."

I chuckled. "Like I always do?"

She gave me a look. "What—you think I don't know when you're lying?"

I shrugged, following her with my eyes as she placed a plate of pancakes in the microwave I hadn't realized existed. She turned to me. "C'mon, Riku. You're going to school."

I groaned. "Come on, Kairi. I can't. I look like I've been mauled by a cat, my sides hurt, and I'm just gonna end up making you late." I sighed. "Face it—I'm better off staying here where no one can find me."

She sighed before approaching me. "Look…Riku…" She gingerly stroked the bruise underneath my eye, and I winced as it stung. Her eyebrows creased in worry. "I…I know…Sephiroth is going to be there today and all," she began. "But you not turning up isn't going to help anything." She wiped at my bangs, which were badly in need of a brushing. "It might even make it worse. You said your Dad was out when you ran away, right?"

I nodded uncomfortably, still pretty pissed at myself for revealing all that to her.

"He needs to know you're alive, then," she finished. "Or else he'll probably send out a search party or something, thinking you've gotten kidnapped…" Her voice trailed off at the look I gave her.

"Yeah. Right. The bastard doesn't give a fuck whether I'm alive or dead," I growled. "He's always wanted me dead, anyway, ever since the day I was born."

She shook her head, looking like she was about to tear up again. "Riku—"

"I don't want to talk about this," I muttered, finally.

She searched my face and eventually sighed. "Right. We…won't talk about it. Fine."

She dropped her hands from my face, but I caught one of them before she could move. "Kairi…don't…are you mad at me?"

She shook her head warily. "No…Riku…I'm not _mad _at you…" She sighed. "I know this is a hard subject for you, but I'm…I'm just trying to help…"

I pulled her into a hug, letting her rest on my chest. I shivered at her warm touch. The apartment felt warmer now that she was in it with me. "Fine. I'll go." I paused. "But I'm taking you out dancing this evening."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"You heard me."

She blushed, mentally debating something. She eventually sighed, giving in. "Fine."

I caught her lips in a kiss as soon as she looked up at me, catching her by surprise. I ignored her protests and pulled her closer, knowing that if I stopped she probably wouldn't let me kiss her again until after school. Kairi got like that sometimes. Especially recently.

We kissed heatedly against the counter for a while, and we probably would have gone further if the microwave hadn't interrupted us.

She pulled away, turning her head away to stop me. "Come on, Riku. We've got school in less than half an hour."

I sighed, trying not to get mad at her. I didn't really have the right to, especially after all she'd done for me the previous night. "You always do that."

"Do what?" She whispered, acting oblivious.

"You know…" I shrugged as she retrieved the pancakes from the microwave oven. "Cut me off all the time."

I was unable to read her expression. "I don't know what you're talking about." She lowered her head, handing me the warm plate. It smelt lemony. "Eat up. I'll go get your clothes."

I sighed, deciding to drop the subject. It was pretty obvious she wasn't going to tell me anything. I took a bite of one of the pancakes, moaning in pleasure. "Man…it's been ages since I had one of these…"

"I knew you'd like them," I heard her reply from the bedroom.

I dug in, realizing how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten since lunchtime the day before, and I'd thrown up practically everything I'd eaten, so my stomach was pretty much eating itself. I devoured the whole plate in no time, and even then I was hungry for more.

She giggled, shaking her head. "Come on, Riku. _School_."

I groaned, reluctantly discarding the empty plate in the sink and washing my hands. "Guess it's decided, then."

Per her command, I took a cold shower (—which worked in my favor, because I needed to cool down a bit anyway—), did my hair and got dressed, all in record time. She was just finishing the dishes when I came out. "I'm done." I looked at the time on my phone. We had ten minutes to get to school. "Oops, we're gonna be late. It's probably better if we stay at home."

She gave me a glare that made it pretty obvious we were still going. "Don't be stupid. We're going whether you like it or not."

I chuckled and leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped me. Again. She reached up to adjust my shirt collar. "Your…your collar's messed up."

I got over my annoyance pretty quickly, smiling down at her as she started adjusting my tie. "I swear, Kairi, you're gonna be an amazing Mom."

She blushed, and then I blushed, realizing what I'd just said. It was always awkward when you brought parenting into the mix.

Kairi's watch was what broke the awkward silence. "Crap. We gotta go." She picked up her stuff and dragged me out of the apartment.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I didn't have my car, so we had to take the bus, which didn't sit well with me at all. Kairi told me to quit being such a baby, so I did. She did my makeup on the bus, which was pretty embarrassing, but thankfully I didn't see anyone from school. When she was done, I looked slightly less battered, and I could once again pass off my injuries as a bike accident.

We got to school pretty late, missing homeroom, which I honestly didn't mind. I wasn't ready to face Sephiroth.

At first, I was pretty thankful that Kairi had convinced me to leave the house. I had a feeling that if I had had to spend the whole day locked up in the damp, musky apartment I'd go mad.

* * *

I tried to avoid looking in Sephiroth's direction for the whole two hours of Drama, which wasn't that easy to do, because I was one of the main characters, and he glared at me relentlessly for the whole period. I don't think anyone else really noticed anything was wrong.

Except Kairi. She'd send me worried looks every five seconds, and it she'd glare at him whenever he looked her way. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I was totally relieved when the bell rang, until he announced that he'd like me to stay back after class.

I hesitated, but decided I had to hear what he wanted to say. I mean, he wouldn't be able to hit me in school, because someone would obviously find out and he'd get taken to jail. Which would suck for him.

Kairi gave me a worried look. "Riku…?"

"I'll…I'll catch up with you guys later," I told her as the room emptied.

She glanced uncertainly at Sephiroth. "Are you sure?"

I shrugged. "C'mon. I'll be fine."

She searched my face, and then she sighed. "Right. Um…see you at lunch."

I nodded, and turned back to Sephiroth. I watched him silently. He was idly cleaning his sword, which he still took everywhere, by the way. There was something sinister about the way he was doing it. I never really knew why he had a five-foot-long sword in the first place…it had always just _been _there. He never really talked about his past.

It looked a lot more threatening today. Maybe the fact that we were alone in a large room had something to do with it.

I was contemplating marching out of the room when he finally spoke up.

"Riku." He sighed, placing his sword back in its scabbard. "It's time to stop this childish game and—"

"It's not a game," I interjected acidly.

He looked at me then, and his gaze darkened. "Riku, you are going to come home now or else—"

"Or else _what_, Sephiroth?" I hissed. "You're going to hit me again? Yeah, that's gonna help a whole lot. You can't go one day without a punching bag, can you?"

"Listen—"

"No _you _listen!" I wasn't about to let him talk. "The others endured your bullshit for almost eighteen years before they moved out. I'm not gonna put up with it."

His frown faded, and he reached for me. "Riku—"

"Don't you _dare _touch me!" I pulled my arm out of his grasp. "I'm not scared of you anymore, and nothing you say will make me change my mind."

"Riku, I'm—"

"I am _never _going back to that fucked up place, you understand?"

He clamped his mouth shut and lowered his gaze. I hesitated momentarily, feeling strangely regretful for what I'd said. But then the anger came back, and I stormed out of the room.

* * *

I'd spent years acting like I had no problems, so it wasn't so hard to make up stories and lie about how I'd gotten hurt. I was pretty sure all of them bought it.

Except Tidus.

"Okay, so what's _really _going on?" He asked in the locker room. I'd just finished explaining how I'd gotten the huge bruise on my right side. It looked a lot worse now.

"I told you," I began slowly. "I fell off my bike."

"You've used that excuse more than five times now," he hissed. "There's something you aren't telling us."

I glanced at Shuyin and Wakka, who were pretending to be engaging in conversation. I knew they were listening in as well. "No there isn't."

"Really?" Tidus crossed his arms. "Then how come you wouldn't pick up the phone when I called you yesterday?"

I averted my gaze, braiding my hair. I'd forgotten to ask Kairi if I could borrow a hair tie. "Why did you call me?"

"Don't you remember? Yesterday was Laser Tag."

_Shit_. "Oh."

He rolled his eyes. "Man, Riku. You knew that."

I shrugged, slipping out of my trousers. "Whatever."

"Anyway…" He leaned against the locker next to me, crossing his tan arms. "Why didn't you pick up?"

"I…Kairi and I were making out," I lied. "So…yeah…I couldn't pick up." I glared at him. "I didn't hear the phone, T. Now get out of my face."

He didn't. "Anyway…when you wouldn't pick up your phone, I called your house."

I froze, staring at him in shock. "You did _what_?"

He raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "I called your house. It wasn't that hard to find your house number; it was in the yearbook."

I could hear my pounding heart in my ears, and I suddenly felt sick to the stomach. "…oh."

"Yeah…you weren't there either," he continued. "Your Dad told me."

And then he gave me a look that told me he knew. He knew what I was hiding.

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.

I slowly broke away from his impassive gaze, noticing everyone else had stopped talking. They were all looking at us in anticipation. I wondered for just how long they'd doubted anything I told them. I'd been convinced that they all worshipped me, and now…

I gave them a glare, and they all seemed to get the message, returning to their conversations. I turned back to Tidus, giving him a hard look. He returned it, not giving anything away. I sighed, leaning closer to him so Wakka and Shuyin couldn't eavesdrop. "Don't you _dare _tell anyone about this."

He didn't seem to waver, and it bothered me for the whole afternoon. What did Tidus find out? How much did he know? What had Dad told him? Was he going to tell anyone else? I was so preoccupied that I almost forgot about our date.

"So…what kind of dancing is it?" Kairi asked as we headed to the Music Room to drop her off at Glee club. "I…I just want to know how I should dress…"

"It's formal," I explained. I was planning on taking her to Caetuna's Spring Ball, which usually went on from March to the end of April. Caetuna was one of Tifa's family friends, and she'd been my substitute ballroom dance teacher when I was a kid, so she usually either gave me discounts or free passes. She hated jeans and anything un-evening-y, and I knew she wouldn't let us in if Kairi wasn't wearing a dress. I'd never really taken any other girl to the ball, because either they hated dancing, I hadn't asked them, or they only knew how to grind…and Caetuna hated girls who didn't 'appreciate real dancing'.

Kairi nodded, squeezing my hand as we arrived at the music room. She stood on her tiptoes to give me a lingering kiss on the lips, and then she gave me a worried smile. "Stay safe."

I promised that I would.

* * *

Tidus was waiting for me outside, crossing his arms. I thought of walking straight past him, but then I remembered he probably knew my secret and that leaving him there would probably be fatal.

So I walked up to him, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. He gave me a bored glance. "What?"

"…tell me what you know, exactly," I muttered. "Now."

"Oh, so now you care?"

I didn't like the arrogant smirk he had on his face. He knew he had something on me now. I kept silent, just glaring at him, lost for words.

He sighed, and his expression became serious. "Well, I found out that Sephiroth is your Dad, for one—and I honestly don't get how I didn't see that before."

I wasn't really sure what to say about that. "…what…what did he tell you?"

"Nothing, really," Tidus continued. "He just asked me if I knew where you were."

My heart skipped a beat. "…what…?"

"I told him I didn't know," he said with a shrug. "He said I'd better not fuck with him, and that if he found out I was hiding you he'd make me regret it."

For some reason, all the bruises he'd given me suddenly felt a lot worse. The tension in the air was overwhelming, and, at that moment, all I wanted to do was run away. Dad was going to come looking for me; it was pretty obvious. And I knew that if he found me, I was dead. Literally.

I held back the throw-up that threatened to surface and tightened my hands around the strap of my backpack. "Yeah…my Dad was pretty mad…" I hesitated. "We had…we had a fight…you know, about something stupid, like my curfew or something." I chuckled, but I knew it wasn't convincing anyone. "So, you know, I went out for a ride and—"

"Riku, I'm not stupid."

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't want to end up spouting everything out at once, like I had with Kairi. I knew my secret was safe with Kairi, but I wasn't so sure with Tidus. I knew I should have trusted him—he had been my best friend, before Sora came along—but…I just couldn't. I remembered the way the guys in the locker room had looked at me, calculating, as if they already knew so much about me and just needed confirmation, and I knew Tidus hadn't been keeping all my secrets. Well, the secrets I'd told him, at least.

I was about to say something in return when I felt someone's eyes, watching me.

And there he was, _Sephiroth_, glaring at me with his icy cold eyes, observing me through the glass doors of the entrance.

My stomach lurched.

Tidus must have noticed something was wrong. "'Ku…" He hesitated, and then he looked over his shoulder. And then he turned back to me, his eyes widening. "Riku…when you said you and your Dad had a fight…"

And then Dad slipped through the doors and began approaching us, and I knew I had to run.

So I did.

I ran and ran, and didn't stop running until I was sure he wasn't behind me.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I stopped by the Seventh Heaven, because I owed Tifa a visit, and I also didn't feel like going back to the smelly apartment. She smiled when she saw me, like she always did. "Riku…how've you been?"

I forced a grin and took a seat. There weren't that many customers, since it was a week day and most people who came here were either working or in school/college. I was pretty relieved, actually. I preferred talking with Tifa when there weren't so many people listening. "I'm okay."

"Okay?" She raised a perfect eyebrow, but she didn't smile. "What do you mean, 'okay'?"

She must have realized I was faking it.

"I…" I hesitated, and then I shook my head. Telling Kairi had been totally unintentional—I wasn't going to drag anyone else into my messed up life. "It's nothing." I decided to change the subject. "I've actually got a date tonight."

"A date?" Tifa's face brightened. "With who?"

I smiled. "You know that girl I told you I liked?"

Her smile widened, and she ruffled my hair. "Aw…really? How long have you guys been together?"

"Since I turned eighteen, actually." I leaned on the table. "I asked her out on my birthday."

"Oh, old enough to drink now, huh?" Tifa chuckled. "And I'm guessing she said yes?"

I nodded, and she shook her head before heading over to clean up a table. I stretched my arms, which were still aching. I felt someone staring at me, and nearly jumped when I realized Xion was sitting next to me.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed, nearly falling out of my chair. "When did—where—how long have you been here?"

She shrugged. "I come here after school."

I blinked, taking in her appearance. Her hair was short and black, and looked a bit like how Kairi had looked when she'd just had her haircut. Her eyes were a startling bright blue color, and she looked pretty small in her white polo and red school uniform skirt. I figured she went to South Destiny.

And then I realized that, without all the outfits and everything, she was actually…really _cute_.

She frowned. "What?"

I blinked again, and averted my gaze when I realized I'd been staring. _Fuck._ "Nothing…you just kind of…scared me, that's all."

She grinned. "Haven't seen you in a while."

I shrugged. "Yeah…I've been busy."

Her smile disappeared. "…with your girlfriend?"

I felt strangely uncomfortable talking to her about it. "…yeah. We…yeah."

She nodded, and went back to reading the book she was holding. "What're you reading?" I asked, for the sake of conversation. Tifa was still at someone's table, taking his order.

"Hitman Reborn," she replied. I had no idea what that was, and I had a feeling she knew that. "It's a manga."

I nodded. "Sure. I knew that."

She rolled her eyes. "Right."

I frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

She turned to me, scowling. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I was pretty taken aback by her sudden anger, but I quickly shook it off. "You…you're acting a lot different than you usually do. I don't remember you being this bitchy the last time I saw you."

Her eyes darkened. "Hmph. Whatever." She turned her eyes back to her manga. "You're annoying."

I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong. "…well…you're irritating."

She glared at me, and, naturally, I glared back. And then the angry frown turned into a sad frown, and her eyes filled up with tears.

"Whoa…" I had no idea what was happening. "Are you crying?"

By now it was pretty clear that she was, but she shook her head fervently. "No…no I'm…" She wiped at her eyes, but it didn't really help that much.

"Hey…I didn't mean to—"

"Xion?" Tifa appeared behind me with a tray of empty glasses. She took in Xion's appearance and must have assumed I did something to hurt her, because she glared at me. "Riku…"

"I…I didn't do anything!" I protested. "She just started yelling at me and then all of a sudden she started crying and—"

"Shut up," Tifa replied coldly, which shocked me a little. Xion must have meant a lot to her, then. She handed me the tray. "Go take this to the kitchen. Here's the orders for tables three, six and nine." She wiped her hands on the napkin that hung from the coat hanger. "I'll be back in a minute." She picked up Xion's bookbag and led a still sobbing Xion out the door.

I frowned, trying to understand what just happened. It made no sense whatsoever. I was pretty sure Xion had always liked me, even if I didn't like her in that…way. I mean, I'd only seen her a few times, and half of the times weren't on purpose.

I sighed, realizing I needed to get to work if I didn't want to keep the customers waiting. I felt pretty pissed at the both of them—Xion for getting me in trouble, and Tifa for getting unnecessarily mad at me—but decided to shake it off. There was really no point arguing.

I cleaned up the dishes and gave the customers their orders. There were only a few people to serve—a middle-aged man at table Three, two over-21 women at table Six, and a couple at table Nine. The middle-aged man was pissed at me for being, well, not Tifa—he even went as far as insulting my hair, but I managed to control my temper. If Dad ever ended up locating me here, I needed him to be on my side.

The women asked me which college I went to, and I replied that I was a senior in high school, and that I had a girlfriend. This didn't dissuade them at all—but this probably had to with the fact that I'd decided to take of my school polo before working. (…and, no, I didn't do this because I wanted to show off or anything—it was as hot as hell and, yeah, since I'd run out and all, I didn't know when next I'd be able to use a washing machine.)

I liked serving the couple the best, because they were closest to my age and they were really nice. The guy was called Machina, and he was in college. The girl was called Rem, and she told me that she liked my hair. I said thank you. I gave them their order—a bottle of vodka-lemonade.

"You look pretty young," Machina took a gulp of his drink before handing it to his girlfriend.

"Yeah…I'm actually a senior. In high school." I shrugged.

Rem smiled at me over the glass, and I smiled back. She lowered the glass and licked her lips. "So…do you work here?"

"No…not really," I replied. "Tifa…the woman who owns the bar…I'm just one of her friends, so she left me in charge."

Machina laughed. "She left an eighteen-year-old boy in charge of a 21-and-over nightclub? That's hilarious."

I shrugged. "She said she'll be back in a minute. And, plus, you guys aren't, like, rapists or anything."

Rem snickered. "No. We're not."

I gave them a smile. "Right. Well…I gotta go do some washing…and stuff."

"Hey…" Machina stopped me before I could get too far. "You go to North Destiny High?"

"College? Yeah." I raised an eyebrow at the weird question.

"Oh…do you know a girl called Rikku?" I said that I did, and his eyebrows creased together in a small frown. I wondered if he and Rikku were related…nah. That was impossible. He stood up from his booth and walked over to me, handing me an envelope. "Give this to her the next time you see her, okay?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Um…okay."

I slipped the envelope in my pocket and continued washing up. I'd gotten through half the dishes when Tifa came back, without Xion. She sighed. She looked tired. "Hey, Riku. Thanks a lot for taking over."

"No problem." I paused. "Is Xion okay?"

She glanced at me, and then she sighed again. "Yeah, she's…she's fine."

I nodded slowly. "Right…that was weird."

She turned to me sharply. "What?"

I blinked at her, taken aback. "Nothing…I just said it was weird that—"

"Don't you _dare _say anything like that again, okay?" Tifa hissed. "Xion is not _weird_."

I chuckled. "Whoa, I was just—"

"Riku, just drop it."

I stared at her. She looked totally serious. "Fine."

I wiped my hands on my pants and got ready to leave. Tifa frowned. "You're going already?"

I nodded, shrugging. "Yeah…I got a date…"

Tifa sighed. "Look…I know this might have been a bit awkward for you, with Xion and everything, but—"

"No, seriously, it's no big deal." I flashed her a smile as I buttoned up my shirt.

She smiled and reached up to pat my hair. "You know what…you should stop by this weekend. My husband's sons are coming over—maybe you could meet them."

"Maybe." I gave her a weak smile, even though I was pretty certain that wasn't going to happen. "Well…I'll see you when I see you."

"Yup." She kissed me fondly on the cheek. She paused, and pulled a wad of munny notes from her pocket. "And take this. Go have fun."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I used the munny Tifa got me to buy myself a new tux, because I was pretty sure I left all the ones I owned back at home, and I was too afraid to try and sneak anything, incase Dad was there. The swelling had gone down, and I decided I couldn't really do anything about the cuts, since I didn't own any foundation to cover it up. I brushed my hair out and called Caetuna, who happily reserved a space for me. I promised to pay her later, but she insisted I come in for free.

Since I was short on munny, I didn't object.

I rented a car for the night with the some of the munny I had in my backpack—not anything too fancy, though—and went to pick up Kairi.

She wore an expensive-looking teal green dress that was ruched down the side and showed off most of her back, along with black stiletto heels. She'd curled her hair, and she was wearing the necklace I'd given her—though I'd gotten used to that by now, because she never really took it off. She'd outlined her eyes and even put on blush, which I felt was a bit much, but whatever—she looked good. Amazing. Gorgeous. Dazzling. Stunning.

Beautiful.

She smiled when she saw me, and I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. She smelt like vanilla…and cinnamon. "Hey."

"Hey." She lowered her head when I tried to move to her lips, muttering something about adjusting my tie.

I sighed and took her hand. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, and then she frowned. "Where…where are we going, actually? I know you said we were going dancing, but…"

"There's this place called The Peristylium…my old ballroom dancing teacher owns it." I grinned at her as we got into the car. "She's totally on board with letting us in tonight."

"Wow," Kairi whispered. "…cool."

I smiled as I turned on the engine. "Maybe it'll be the same as last time today. Except…without the ice."

I personally thought my joke would get a reaction out of her, but she remained silent. I glanced over at her, and realized she was looking out the window. She looked distracted. "Kairi?"

She jumped a little. "Huh?"

"You…you okay?" I reached over to touch her cheek, but she shrugged away from me. "Hey…"

"I'm fine." She glanced at me before looking back out the window.

"Kairi…" I sighed as we stopped at a red light. "…you can tell me."

She shook her head. "I…I said it's nothing…I'm…" She trailed off, twirling her hair around her finger. I decided to give up and focused on driving. She leaned over and turned on the radio.

"…_Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself_

_From saying something that _

_I should've never thought of you_

_Of you_

_You're pushing and pulling me down to you_

_But I don't know what I want_

_No, I don't know what I want—"_

She changed the radio station, and I gave her an inquisitive look. She gave me a shaky smile. "Yeah I…I hate that song."

I shrugged. "I thought it was pretty ni—"

She turned the volume up, cutting me off.

* * *

We arrived at the Peristylium in less than five minutes. The Peristylium was amazing, and I was always taken away whenever I saw it. Polished stairs led up to the large white building, frescoes decorating the walls. The ballroom had no ceiling, which got it its name. I watched Kairi eye the ornate designs on the handlebars, the marble flooring, and the expensive lights that illuminated the room.

"Wow…this place…" Her eyes sparkled, and I felt her squeeze my hand.

"You like it?" We turned around and saw Caetuna, looking fashionable in her signature robe. She smiled when she saw me. "Kuku!"

"Hey," I greeted stiffly, trying not to show how much I hated the nickname. I'd gotten it when I was six and it had stuck since. It made me sound like some kind of Pokemon, and it pissed me off. But…Caetuna was another adult that I trusted, so I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her any of this.

She adjusted my collar. "Wow…look how tall you've gotten." She chuckled before turning to Kairi with a raised eyebrow. "And who is this?"

"This is Kairi," I replied, our fingers intertwining. "My girlfriend."

"It's…nice to meet you…" Kairi added nervously. "Riku told me you used to teach him to dance."

"Did I ever." She nodded, looking Kairi up and down. "Hm. Nice dress." She turned to me. "She's cute—but can she dance?"

I grinned. "You'll be surprised."

Caetuna gave me a look, giving us our tickets. "Wow me."

* * *

After several tangos and sambas, Kairi and I were sweating like hell.

"Think…she's impressed?" Kairi asked.

I span her around. "No idea. But...who cares?" I caught her in my arms, holding her close. "We're having fun, right?"

"If you call…prancing around…nonstop…_fun_."

I chuckled, which was pretty hard to do considering I was starting to lose my breath. We were starting to lose steam. I bumped elbows with another dancer once or twice, and very nearly span Kairi into someone.

The song finally came to an end, and Kairi looked just about ready to pass out. I suggested we take a break, and Kairi didn't object.

We showed the guy at the bar our tickets. "Two martinis, please."

"Whoa," Kairi objected immediately. "I'm not—"

I shot her a look, and she kept quiet. The bartender arched an eyebrow, and I returned the gesture. He rolled his eyes and went to get our drinks.

"Riku…" Kairi groaned. "I don't wanna get drunk…"

"You won't." I gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "I promise."

She sighed, rubbing her bare arms. I looked up at the sky—the stars were out. The bartender came back with our drinks, and we sipped on them as we regained our breath. Caetuna came over, and Kairi nearly choked on her drink.

"So…are you guys having fun?" We nodded simultaneously, and she smiled tersely. "Did your girlfriend take any dance classes in the past?"

"Uh…she used to do tap dancing…I think," I replied. Kairi shot me a glare. Apparently she didn't really appreciate me telling her this. I took a sip of my martini.

"Hmm."

"W-Well…how was the dancing?" I always got nervous whenever I saw my old dance teacher, because she was a perfectionist and always demanded more of me.

Caetuna scrunched her nose. "Meh. Could have been better."

I struggled not to frown. "Oh."

Kairi gave me a worried look. I pretended to smile. Caetuna's gaze remained impassive.

And then she laughed. "Kuku! I was just kidding—you guys were amazing!" She flashed Kairi a blinding smile. "Well, at least until you guys got tired; it started getting a little sloppy near the end. But that's no big deal…" She patted Kairi's shoulder. "You're really good…you should drop by more often. I wish Kuku had introduced me to you earlier."

"Kuku." Kairi sniggered, sipping her drink. "That's cute."

I rolled my eyes, taking Kairi's hand. "Come on. Let's go dance."

Caetuna laughed. She probably knew I didn't like the nickname by now, but didn't seem at all bothered by it.

* * *

_Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?_

_Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it_

_Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?_

_Have you ever looked fear in the face_

_And said 'I just don't care'?_

Kairi and I swayed to the music, leaning on each other. It was the first slow song of the evening, which was relieving. We'd waltzed and tangoed all evening, and we were finally craving for a slow dance, just us, in each others arms, under the stars.

Yeah, it sounded a lot less cheesy in my head.

_It's only half past the point of no return_

_The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn_

_The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase_

_Have you ever felt this way?_

I pressed my lips against the top of her head as we swayed. "It doesn't get better than this, does it?"

She clutched onto me tighter, but remained silent. I sighed. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with Dad, or how long I'd be able to afford the run-down apartment, or how long I'd be able to keep lying to Tidus about my private life…

All I knew was that I had Kairi at that moment, and that she was leaning against my chest, and that her arms were around my neck, and that I could feel her heartbeat, and that I loved her.

_It's only half past the point of oblivion_

_The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run_

_The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames_

_Have you ever felt this way?_

"Hey." I whispered into her ear. She looked up at me, the moonlight and the stars and the lights making her eyes even more breathtaking. I leaned down and kissed her, and I wished for time to stand still. I wanted to be there forever, just swaying underneath the stars, with this girl, with Kairi. I kissed her again, and again, and then I just looked down at her, admiring her, trying to memorize every detail of her face.

She swallowed, her cheeks a dark shade of red. I couldn't help but smile. "Riku…"

_Have you ever wished for an endless night?_

_Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight_

_Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself_

_Will it ever get better than tonight?_

"I love you." It was funny how easy it was to tell her. "I love you. I love you. I lov—"

"Riku." She shook her head, laughing. But there was something off about her laugh—like she was trying not to cry. "Just…just stop. I…I…"

"Ssh." I traced her lips, and then I leaned down to kiss her again. She clutched onto my shirt, and I saw a tear escape down her cheek.

* * *

"Are you sure your Mom's gonna be okay with you staying out this late?"

Kairi had forced me to drive her to the beach after we'd left the Peristylium, insisting she needed some time with nature.

She shrugged her cream shoulders. "I dunno. Probably not." She slipped her fingers into mine, holding her heels in her other hand. I felt envious of her, because I was stuck wearing my dress shoes.

"Don't you care?" I chuckled, watching her idly kick at the sand.

"Not really." She stopped, looking up at me and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I don't wanna go home."

_Damn_. "Me…neither." I struggled to hold her gaze. She leaned closer, and I bit down on my lip to keep myself from…well.

"We could stay out here all night if we wanted to," she continued. "I could tell my parents I'm staying over at Yuna's or something…"

I swore she was doing it on purpose. "Yeah…you could do that…"

She kissed me, and I felt like I was melting. And then she pulled away again. I sighed in exasperation, but she just gave me a mischievous smirk. "Tag. You're it."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I chuckled. "You seriously want to play tag?"

"Yeah." She shrugged, walking backwards. "What? You too scared you won't be able to catch me?"

"Oh, it's on now."

Turns out, Kairi was actually a lot faster than I'd assumed she was—but she was barefoot and I was wearing shoes, so I guess that gave her the advantage. She was also a lot smaller, so whenever it seemed like I was just about to catch her she slipped away.

"What's wrong, Riku?" Kairi giggled, slipping out of my reach for the umpteenth time that night. "Tired already?"

"Get real," I muttered, wiping sweat off my forehead. (Not that she made me sweat or anything...). She was still laughing when she slipped, and, on reflex, I reached out to catch her…

We somehow ended up falling onto the sand, me on top.

Kairi was still giggling, and I felt myself smile. "Caught you."

She grinned, and I kissed her again. She tasted like bubblegum…and peppermint. I could feel the lining of her bra underneath her dress. She probably knew that.

She pulled away slowly, panting. The moon shone on her face. Her smile had vanished. "We should…we should go…"

I mumbled something and clambered off her, and she shakily got to her feet. Her hair was speckled with sand, and so was her dress. She picked up her heels. She looked distant.

The ride home was silent again. Kairi refused to speak to me. I wasn't sure what I did wrong.

The horrible thoughts started plaguing me again—that she didn't really like me, that she liked someone else…and that I knew who it was.

We arrived at her house. She gave me a terse smile. "Thanks. For everything."

She was about to get out of the car when I grabbed her wrist. She turned to me in shock. I didn't wait for her to speak. "Kairi…most of my life, I've felt…alone. Even when I was with people." I swallowed. "Until I met you."

She hesitated. "Riku—"

"Kairi, whatever I did to you, I'm sorry, and I just want you to know that I lov—"

"I—" Kairi snatched her wrist away, cutting me off. "I…should really…get going."

I watched her wordlessly as she climbed out of the car and walked up to her front door. She didn't even give me a second glance.

And it hurt.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Kairi was still acting funny the next day.

She brought me breakfast, like she usually did, but she refused to speak to me. She looked preoccupied with something, and she refused to tell me what it was. Whenever I tried to kiss her, she'd shrink away, and she seemed almost paranoid. Even though she'd been flinching whenever I touched her since we first started dating, it was starting to get more and more obvious.

I tried to ignore it, though this got harder when the others started to notice.

"Something's up with her, man," Shuyin informed me while we were lounging outside after lunch. Kairi had just excused herself to go to the bathroom, though I had a feeling she was lying.

"Really? She seems fine to me," I lied, pretending to be preoccupied with an iPhone app.

They were silent for a while, but I could tell they'd been talking about this behind my back.

Wakka took a drag on his blunt. (This wasn't exactly allowed on campus, but no one really gave a shit.) "Remember that day in Drama when Kairi and Porcu—" He paused, realizing his mistake. "—_Sora_ had to sing together?"

"No," I lied, flinging another bird from the catapult.

"Well…remember how she looked at him?" Shuyin added. He didn't wait for me to answer. "I might be wrong, but I think she's got a thing for him."

I shook my head, though I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince. "Nah…they're just friends."

"Yeah, doesn't seem like it," Wakka muttered.

"What the fuck, guys?" I growled, getting pissed. "Weren't you the ones who kept pushing me to ask her out? Now it's like you guys want me and Kai to break up or something!"

"No…that's not—" Shuyin hesitated. "Well…you have been going out for almost a month now…"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? So?"

"Eh…it's just not normal, you know. Seeing you stay more than a week with a girl…" I shot him a glare, and he shrugged. "Don't get me wrong—Kairi's awesome, but…" He lowered his voice. "Have…have you guys…you know?"

"No. I don't know."

Shuyin sighed in exasperation. "Have you guys had sex yet or what?" I decided not to answer, and this just pissed Shuyin off all the more. I knew he didn't really care that much about our sex life, but I'd kept a reputation and it must have been irking him. "What is with you? I hardly recognize you anymore."

I half-expected Tidus to join in the conversation, but he'd remained strangely silent for most of the conversation. I frowned. "Tidus…you got something you wanna tell me? Go on. No one's stopping you."

Tidus gave me an impassive look. I suddenly felt nervous, remembering what had happened the last time he saw me. Tidus wasn't dumb. He'd probably put two and two together by now.

I swallowed, trying to figure out what he intended to do. If he decided to bring up the Sephiroth subject again…

"I think they've got a point," Tidus spoke up eventually. There was something different about the way he said it though. Like…like he almost pitied me. "Kairi…she might like Sora."

Shuyin snorted. "Well that's an understatement."

"Maybe." Tidus shrugged. "But we're not girls. We have no idea how girls work. Kairi might just like him as a best friend or something…not everyone is thinking about sex twenty-four/seven."

Shuyin shrugged, but he was obviously still pissed off with me. I decided I didn't care. Shuyin usually got over it. "Whatever."

I turned to Tidus. His expression was evasive, but he'd been one of my closest friends, before the whole Yuna thing. I knew what he was thinking. I knew he'd figured it out.

I couldn't bear the awkward silence. "Wakka…got any spare?"

* * *

It probably wasn't a good idea smoking pot in the middle of the school day, especially when I had two more classes to go through before the end of the day.

I managed to stumble through them without making a scene. I wondered how Shuyin and Wakka managed to get through a whole day high. Well, at least Wakka. It was like he was addicted to the stuff, or something. Sure, it made me feel fucking awesome, but…meh. I wasn't interested in getting testicular cancer.

I walked Kairi to glee practice again after school. We agreed to meet up again after school, at Kairi's house. She said her parents were going to be out all afternoon, so we'd have the house to ourselves. Well…she probably didn't say it like that…but I was still getting over the haze.

I headed over to the Seventh Heaven again while waiting for Kairi to finish her glee practice. I'd had a week off working at the Shack, which was a huge relief. Machina and Rem weren't there this time, but Xion was.

She didn't seem to be in such a bad mood this time, and she was playing the piano. She smiled as her fingers danced across the piano keys. Her eyes were closed, as if she was getting lost in the music. The tune was both creepy and depressing, but I decided not to say this. I didn't want her bursting into tears again, or something.

Tifa appeared next to me, and I realized I'd been staring. I quickly looked away. "Hey, Tiff."

"Hey." She smirked. "You like what you see?"

"She plays the piano…" I whispered.

"Yeah." Tifa sighed. "She's been playing since she was four. She really has a gift. She wrote that, you know."

"Really?" I shook my head, awestruck. "Wow."

"Mm."

I watched her silently, slightly envious. I'd always wanted to know how to learn how to play an instrument, but Sephiroth had never really thought about that. I wondered if I could ask her to teach me.

I felt Tifa nudge me. "Go talk to her."

I hesitated. "You sure she won't yell at me like she did yesterday?"

Tifa frowned. "She won't."

I sighed and walked over to see Xion, just as she was finishing her song. I clapped as she hit the final note, and she flinched before turning to look up at me. Her eyes widened, and then the playful glint in them returned. "Hey. Didn't realize you were gonna be here."

"Hm. Thought I'd drop by." I smiled, for the sake of it. "You're amazing on the piano, by the way."

"Um…thanks!" She grinned. I think I spotted a hint of a blush on her cheeks. She turned away, as if contemplating something. I realized she was in her school uniform again today. "Um…you know I was actually—"

My phone rang, cutting her off, and I gave her an apologetic smile. I slipped my phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller. "Um…it's my girlfriend."

Xion's smile wavered. "Oh."

For some reason it felt awkward telling her this. She opened her mouth to say something, and then shook her head, as if deciding against it. "Go on."

I nodded and answered the call. Kairi said she was heading home early because Yuna had bronchitis, and I told her I was on my way.

"You're leaving already?" Xion looked pretty disappointed.

I shrugged. "Um. Yeah. I…my girlfriend…"

She covered up her disappointment with one of her contagious smiles. "It's okay."

I felt guilty all of a sudden, and moved to pat her on the head. "I'll drop by later, kay?"

She grinned. "Okay."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"This Chemistry project is due on the first week we get back, right?"

We were in Kairi's bedroom that afternoon, the sun was shining and we were sharing a tub of strawberry ice cream. I'd picked it up for her along the way.

I groaned. "Kairi. Are you seriously talking about homework on a holiday?"

"Um, FYI, Riku, it's not Spring Break until tomorrow," she retorted.

"No, Spring Break starts as soon as school ends, and school ended this afternoon."

"Well…" She pouted. "Whatever."

I laughed. "Yeah, you're right. We have three weeks to finish our project." I lowered my voice. "Good thing you're my lab partner."

"Mm." She took another spoon of ice cream. I scrolled through her iPod idly for a good song. I had just gotten past Beyoncé when she spoke up again. "So…Riku. What happened with your Dad today?"

I frowned. "Nothing."

She obviously didn't believe me. "Nothing?"

I sighed, putting the iPod on shuffle since I couldn't be bothered to look. "He just asked when I was coming home."

She hesitated. "…what did you tell him?"

"The truth," I muttered, taking another spoon from the tub. "That I'm never coming back."

She sighed. "You can't avoid him forever. He's your Dad."

"No, he's not," I snapped. "He's a heartless bastard with a drinking problem."

* * *

'_~If birds flying south is a sign of changes_

_At least you can predict this every year…'_

* * *

She shook her head, but she decided not to talk. We ate in comfortable silence until we'd gotten halfway through the tub. I spent this time looking around her room. It was both girly and unique at the same time, with sea-green carpeting and apple-green standing lamps, along with a desk against the wall, where her laptop was. She had an en suite bathroom, and her wardrobe was half open, revealing a huge Valentine's basket. I figured that was the surprise the people at the shop had given me to go with the necklace. Kairi spent most of the time looking out the window, though I wasn't sure _what _she was looking at. She just looked lost in her thoughts, preoccupied with something.

* * *

'_~Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly_

_I can't get it to speak.'_

* * *

She announced she wasn't hungry anymore and lay down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I did the same, sighing at the feel of a stuffed pillow. I really missed having a proper bed.

* * *

'_~Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us_

_I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me…'_

* * *

I opened my eyes, taking in every detail of Kairi's face. We were so close our noses were touching. Her eyes were closed, and I wasn't sure if she was asleep or not. She was wearing a bright pink bra apparently—I could see it through her white button-up blouse. I pulled my eyes away from her chest and focused back on her face. I brushed at her fringe, and her eyes opened slightly. I traced her lips with my thumb. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

She smiled. "So you've told me."

I chuckled, leaning even closer to her so that our lips brushed. "Don't you just wish you could freeze time?"

"Sometimes," she murmured.

* * *

'_~Look in your eyes to see something about me_

_I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give…'_

* * *

I wasn't sure what it was—the smell of her hair, or the feel of her skin, or the way her purplish-blue eyes searched mine, or the taste of her breath, or the warm sun shining in her face, but suddenly I just really, _really _needed to kiss her.

And so I did.

She responded immediately. I ignored the way she flinched and used my hands to cup her face, deepening the kiss. She whimpered, pulling me closer, her fingers tangling in my hair. Our lips melted together, and the desire was overwhelming, and I found myself moving to her cheek, and then to her chest. The warm feeling in my gut increased, and the heat was dizzying. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but I hadn't felt that turned on since…well, since ever. It was like I was tumbling down a perpetual spiral of elation, drowning in her smell, in the taste of her skin...

And then it stopped.

I felt her hands on my chest, and before I could react she pushed me off her. Hard.

Now, usually I would have been able to fend for myself, push her back, even, but I was so not expecting it that I lost balance and tumbled off her bed.

I ended up hitting my head pretty hard, and it took me a few seconds to regain focus again.

…_the fuck?_

I rubbed the back of my head, already feeling it starting to swell. Humiliated, I turned to look at her.

"Riku…"

She was sitting on her bed, her legs pushed up against her chest. One of her hands was clutching onto her shirt, which had become unbuttoned, and the other one was curled into a fist, covering her mouth.

"Riku I'm…I didn't mean…"

* * *

'_~Do you know what it feels like_

_Loving someone_

_That's in a rush to throw you away?'_

* * *

I don't know why, but suddenly the conversation with the guys that afternoon wouldn't stop replaying in my head, along with other memories I'd thought I'd pushed away.

"—_she's got a thing for him—"_

"—_remember how she looked at him?"_

_"You like her, don't you?"_

_"Yeah."_

"—_you have been going out for almost a month now—"_

_"May the best man win."_

"—_I hardly recognize you anymore."_

_"—Happy for her…she has someone as good as you…to make her happy."_

_"I love you."_

_"I know."_

I wasn't sure whether it was the humiliation, or the pain, or all the crap that was going on in my life, but I suddenly felt exceedingly irritated.

"No…it's fine." I got to my feet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as I buttoned up my shirt. I hadn't even realized when it had come undone. "I understand."

Her face crumpled. "No…Riku…"

"I said I _**understand**__, _Kairi." I snapped. I'd lost total control by now. I was struggling not to get submerged in all the shit that had happened that week. "I should've known, anyway. You think I haven't noticed how you freeze everytime I touch you?" I had no idea why the hell I was talking. _"_You think I haven't noticed the way you look at _him _all the time?"

_Shut up, Riku. Shut the fuck up._

Her eyes widened. "I…I don't know wh-what you're—"

I refused to shut up. "_**Sora**_! I'm talking about _Sora_, Kairi!" I was yelling now, I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Riku, you're just—"

I grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have feelings for him."

As soon as the words escaped my lips, I wished I hadn't said anything.

She hesitated.

* * *

'_~Do you know what it feels like_

_To be the last one_

_To know the lock on the door has changed?'_

* * *

The pain that came with the realization that she didn't love me was overwhelming. Okay, so I'd been presuming she didn't love me back for quite a while now, but I'd always hoped I was wrong, and that I was just imagining things, or something. It was unfair.

She was in love with Sora.

She was _fucking _in love with Sora, and yet she'd said yes to me, and kissed me like she returned my feelings, and I'd told her all my secrets, and...

It felt like someone had just set my heart ablaze, and that it was burning to a crisp at an agonizingly sluggish speed. I loosened my grip on her shoulders, averting my gaze as looking at her became unbearable. My throat tightened. "Exactly."

"Riku—"

"Don't!" It was suddenly incredibly hard to swallow. "Please. Don't."

She'd started to cry now. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I clenched my fists, trying to contain the misery that was slowly turning into rage. I picked up my bookbag and started heading down the stairs, needing to get out before I did anything stupid.

I could vaguely hear her frantic footsteps behind me. "P-Please…Riku, don't go! St-stay with me, please—"

I lost it when she tried to grab my sleeve. "Leave me the fuck alone, bitch!"

Before I knew what I was doing, I'd whacked her across the cheek and pushed her. _Hard_.

I watched in horror as she slammed into the wall, hitting her head and crumpling onto the ground as her legs gave way.

Everything suddenly felt cold.

I'd hit Kairi.

I'd _fucking _hit Kairi.

She squirmed, reaching up to cradle her head. Tears escaped down her cheeks.

I stared at my hand, unable to fathom what I'd just done.

"Riku…" I heard her whimper. "Riku, you…"

_No._

_**No.**_

I couldn't take it anymore.

So I took a step back, and stormed down the stairs.

And then I ran.

* * *

_~How can I love you? How can I love you?_

_How can I love you? How can I love you?_

_If you just don't talk to me, babe?_

* * *

**Ah. Gone are the days of SIMPLE chappies. *sighs* **

**Well, I know a lot of you people assumed Sora was going to be in this chappie...but...no. He's not. And now you can probably see why...**

**So…yeah. I broke Riku and Kairi up for you guys. Are you happy?**

**Now for some RikuShi. Hurr. No…I'm not done with RiKai yet, guys, so don't kill me. But I bet you RikuShi fans are just jumping up and down in your seats. Lol...I feel so evil...**

**I personally hate how this chappie turned out. I couldn't find anywhere to possibly cut it in two, and everything's all over the place. Hopefully Kairi's POV will be better. **

**Songs in this chappie were I Caught Myself by Paramore (in the car), and Glitter in the Air by P!nk (Ball dance). The song Xion played on the piano is '**_**Musique pour la tristesse de Xion' **_**which comes from Yoko Shimomura's Piano Collection. A hugely compelling tune. You should all totes listen to it. **

**Sneek Peek:**

* * *

"_Do you want to get us killed?" _

"…_there's something you should know about her." _

"_C'mon! Live a little!"_

"_Sora?"_

* * *

**Word Count: 11,852. HOLY ASDFGHJKL. **

**Read, review. I shall…PM YOU.**

**XXXX**

**P.S: Oh and do you guys think this chappie should be split in two? Tell me in your review! **


	25. Broken

**A/N: Um…hi?**

**Life? Started Gossip Girl...went back to school...homework sucks...bleh. Well…got my second flamer! Well…the reviewer was just like 'this sucks', and it was an anonymous account, so I couldn't really thank him or anything…meh. Oh well. **

**Well…I'm on holidays…and…yeah…**

**Review replies?**

**The Guy Who Thinks My Story Sucks: Thanks! I thought that too…I still kind of do once in a while…**

**superpeanutbutter: It was really long, yeah...compared to this one, which is freakishly short. Soz. *hides behind chair* Well...I'm glad to see SOMEONE'S on Riku's side! Lol...but seriously...it's pretty rare to meet a Riku lover...hehe...yeah, Kairi did kind of bring it upon herself, but I guess she felt that it'd just be UNFAIR to tell him the truth. B*tch please. Lol...enjoy! **

**M: Thanks for your review! **

**Anonymous: Yeah...Riku hitting her was kind of...awful...I still regret writing that. You have no idea how awkward that whole last scene was lol. Well...enjoy! **

**About this chappie: …I'm sorry. **

**WARNING (and this goes for most of the chappies that follow): Strictly T for violence, language and drug use. **

**Disclaimer: NOE. The song 'Broken' belongs to the one and only Lifehouse.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

…

"You think I haven't noticed the way you look at _him _all the time?"

* * *

**Chapter 25: Broken**

* * *

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head_

_I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead_

_I still see your reflection inside of my eyes_

_That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

* * *

Once again, I ran.

I didn't know what willed my legs to keep pushing me forward, except the desire to get as far away as I could from that house.

I had no idea where I was going, but I pushed on. I didn't know why—maybe I thought that running from what I'd done would convince me it hadn't happened.

I'd hit Kairi. I'd succumbed to my pain-fueled anger and hit her.

It made my stomach churn.

The look in her eyes…

I eventually started to run out of energy, and gradually came to a stop, eventually collapsing in an alley and throwing up next to a trash pile.

My throat burned as I coughed out the last of my puke. I bit down on my lip, trying to make sure I'd got it all out, before leaning my head against the cold brick wall. It was still sunny and bright out, which pissed me off, because the weather didn't match my mood at all.

I took a deep breath and wiped my stained lips with the back of my hand, and I realized that I still had some of her lipstick left…

I closed my eyes hard, feeling a headache coming on.

And it was like everything came crashing down on me. Dad was still after me. I was running out of munny. Kairi was obviously not in love with me, and I'd hit her, and—

"Got lost again, kid?"

I span around. There was that guy, the guy with long black hair and freakish red eyes. I couldn't remember his name, and I was too tried to try. "Um…yeah." I cleared my throat, inhaling deeply. "I, uh…got lost."

He wasn't smiling. I heard more footsteps, and realized he wasn't alone.

It had been ages since I'd seen them last, and I wasn't exactly excited to meet them. I resisted the urge to groan. "Hey…Kadaj."

He blinked, shocked. And then his gaze darkened. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I sighed, wiping at the sweat on my forehead. "I was just…"

"The kid says he got lost," Red Eyes muttered. Kadaj stormed up to me and before I could fend myself he punched me across the cheek.

He wasn't half as strong as Dad, but he was still strong, and, plus, my cheek hadn't exactly healed yet, so it hurt twice as much as it usually would have. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain.

He grabbed hold of my shirt. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Hey…leave him alone."

I recognized the voice as Loz, and I figured I might as well give up trying to defend myself if all of them were there.

Kadaj hesitated before letting me go. I glared at him, massaging my neck. "What was that for?"

"Well…things haven't exactly been in peachy lately," Yazoo muttered.

Loz jumped in. "What he means to say is—"

"What the fuck happened?" Kadaj snarled. "Why did you let him freeze his account?"

Oh. I hadn't heard of that. He probably did it the day I left, since he suspected I was the one who hacked into his account, even more so now that I was living alone…

My teeth worried on the cut on my bottom lip. "I…I didn't know he did that."

"Yeah, right." He scowled. "What did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him anything," I tried. "He just…found out."

Yazoo frowned. "Found out what?"

"You know, the munny you guys have been hiding in my closet?" I crossed my arms, straightening out my shirt. "He found it all yesterday."

"Fuck," Kadaj cursed. "Fuck you."

"Kadaj—"

"Shut. Up." He gave Loz a glare before turning back to me. "Do you have any idea how screwed we are right now? Do you _want _to get us all killed?"

It was silent for a while.

And then Loz broke the silence. "What happened to your face?"

"Nothing."

"Whoa, I didn't even notice," Kadaj sniggered, obviously not giving a shit. "Because we have way bigger problems to deal with. Like what we're going to tell the boss when he—"

"Riku…" Loz grumbled. "Did…Sephiroth hit you?"

We all turned to look at him. He wasn't smiling. I hesitated. It was suddenly really hard to swallow. "Yeah…he did…"

They turned silent again. Yazoo's expression remained impassive, Kadaj looked pissed as hell, and Loz looked almost sorry for me.

Red Eyes just looked bored.

Kadaj kicked a random Coke can. "That motherfucker. Thinks he can get away with pushing all of us around, huh?"

His phone rang then, and he flipped it open. I didn't really get why he had one of those old fashioned phones. I'd always figured pushers were paid for their services. "Hey…" His eyebrows creased together. "Uh…y-yeah, he's…" The blood drained from his face. "_What?_"

We waited patiently for him to finish the phone call. The person on the other end hung up the phone, and Kadaj cursed as he snapped his phone shut.

Yazoo looked uncomfortable. "Was that—"

"Riku." Kadaj's lime-cyan eyes turned to me. "You're coming with us."

"What—"

I could barely croak out my reply before Kadaj kneed me in the gut.

I doubled over in pain, clutching the area to try and ebb the agonizing throbbing feeling. Before I knew what was happening, someone had grabbed me from the back and begun dragging me through the alleyways.

The pain had only just started to subside when I realized what was happening.

"Let me go…" I croaked, trying to pull myself out of their grasp. The grip only tightened. I started getting desperate when I saw the truck pull up on the curb. I started to squirm. "I'm warning you…let go of me or else—"

I was cut off by a sudden sharp pain to the edge of my skull. My head felt like it was on fire, and I felt myself going dizzy. I groaned in agony, barely able to hear what my captors were saying.

Dark splotches shrouded my vision, and I felt the floor disappear from beneath me as I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still bleeding_

* * *

I woke up with a splitting headache.

The sheets stank of perspiration and other unmentionable bodily fluids. I cracked my eyelids open. It was dark, and I was in an unfamiliar room. I could hear muffled voices, along with the sound of cars honking outside.

I tried to pull myself up, and realized that my headache just got worse. My upper arm ached as well. I wondered if I'd scraped it somewhere. I palmed my face, trying to figure out what was going on and where I was. My fingers found its way to the rough material that was wrapped around my head, and suddenly I remembered.

I groaned, cradling my head in my hands. Someone had hit me across the side of my head, probably severely damaging my skull. As if I wasn't damaged enough. And then they'd pushed me into a van…

I sat up short, taking in my surroundings. _Where the fuck am I?_

The room was small, and half-open boxes were stacked against the right wall. The door was ajar, and a dull yellow light emanated from the corridor. There was a small window at the top right corner of the left wall, and the bed I'd been sleeping on was the only bed in room, excluding the rolled-up sleeping bag sticking out from one of the boxes.

It looked like a prison cell.

Cautiously, I slipped out of bed and got to my feet. My headache worsened, but I didn't let it dissuade me. I had to find out where I was, so I could figure out a way to escape.

I slipped out the door as carefully as I could. There was a long, darkish hallway, and I recognized the smell as that of cigarettes. They littered the concrete floor.

I heard voices coming from a room at the end of the hallway, and pure curiosity drove me to open the door.

Loz was the first one to notice me. His face cracked into a relieved smile, which totally didn't fit him. Loz had always been the least mean out of the three, but I was pretty sure he hated me just as much as they did. He never really _smiled _at me unless he was up to no good.

Once everyone realized that Loz had acknowledged my presence, they did the same. Almost all of them frowned at me, and one of them even cocked his gun.

"Don't do anything stupid." Kadaj got to his feet, giving the guy with the gun a glare. The guy lowered his gun, but he didn't make any move to tuck it away. Kadaj sighed and tilted my head upwards to inspect my face. "So, you're finally awake."

I whacked his hand away. "Yeah. You hit me on the head pretty hard."

"Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. If you'd stayed still we wouldn't've had to—"

"Care to explain why I'm here and not back at home?"

"You're not still living with Dad, are you?" Loz raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

"I'm the one with the right to ask questions here," I muttered. "Why did you guys kidnap me, and where the fuck am I?"

Some of the guys in the room laughed, while Kadaj frowned, saying nothing. I was too busy glaring at him to notice the beanie guy—Seifer—approaching us. He didn't look that different from the last time I'd seen him, except probably a bit more brash-looking. "You didn't think the boss would let you off easy for misplacing all that munny, did you?"

I glowered at him. "I didn't 'misplace' the munny—it's you guys' fault for giving me all that munny, which, by the way, I didn't ask for, and hiding it in my closet."

Seifer gave Kadaj an incredulous look. Kadaj scowled. "Not my best move, I know."

Seifer muttered something about Kadaj fucking up everything.

"Well…" Kadaj sighed. "The boss doesn't know that, and he's convinced you ratted us out to Sephiroth."

"But I didn't. And you _know _I didn't." I hesitated. "You're gonna tell him that, right?"

He took a long time to respond. He eventually sighed again, mussing up his silvery-grey hair. "I'm already hanging on a line with the guy. If he finds out I'm partially responsible he'll get rid of me for sure."

"So you're gonna let him get rid of _me_ instead?"

Kadaj shrugged, flipping open his phone. Yazoo was filing his nails. Loz was the only one who seemed the least bit bothered by this.

"He's not gonna get rid of you." Seifer chuckled. "Knowing him, he's probably gonna make sure that you're gonna go down with us."

"What?" I choked, feeling my head throbbing once again.

His smile disappeared, and he lifted his hand to point at my right upper arm. I realized then that, like my head, it was bandaged.

Kadaj blanched. "He doesn't have to see it yet—"

"See what?"

He immediately clamped his mouth shut. Seifer rolled his eyes. "He would've seen it eventually."

I decided to find out for myself, hesitantly slipping the bandage off my throbbing arm.

…it took all my willpower to resist the urge to scream.

They'd imprinted some kind of marking, some kind of _stamp_ on my arm. It wasn't just written in ink—it was traced with a needle, which explained why it hurt so much and why the skin around it was swollen. When I tensed my arm, droplets of blood oozed out from one of the cuts, staining what was left of my shirt.

They'd given me a _tattoo_.

It was smart of him, really. If I ever got caught in one of Xehanort's schemes, I'd be identified as one of them. Sephiroth most likely wouldn't step in to support me in a hearing, and I barely had enough munny left to afford a week's meals, much less a lawyer.

If this was his way of getting back at me for rejecting his offer, then he was a force to be reckoned with.

I wrenched my gaze away from the obscene marking on my upper arm. Seifer, Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz and the few others guys in the room were watching me in anticipation. I swallowed the lump in my throat and bandaged up my arm again before turning on my heels and heading back down the hallway.

I slammed the door the prison cell-like room behind me before letting out a frustrated yell and slamming my fist against the door. I punched the wall a few more times to see if it helped calm me down at all, and moved on to throwing things when it became clear it didn't.

I eventually lost steam, and collapsed onto the stinky overused bed once again.

And then, once again, I began to cry.

* * *

_In the pain_

_There is healing_

_In your name_

_I find meaning_

* * *

Everything was going wrong. The freedom I'd thought I'd get from leaving home only brought me more problems. I was hungry. I needed a proper shower. My head hurt. My arm hurt. I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

"_Sora and I will always be here for you, no matter what!"_

I wanted Kairi.

I wanted her hands in my hair, her fingers filling the space between mine. I wanted to wake up to her laugh, to her smile, to her eyes, to her lips. I wanted to feel her warmth, to listen to her voice, to hear her sing. I wanted her hugs, her kisses…

I wished I'd shut up about the whole thing. I wished I'd gone on pretending I didn't know she had feelings for Sora, because at least having her there—even if she didn't love me the same way I loved her—was better than having no one at all.

And Sora…

I hadn't spoken to him for weeks. Sure, after the day we'd confided to each other in the Cove we'd seen each other once in a while for sparring sessions, but eventually we'd both gotten too busy to keep a solid arrangement. Hanging out with Sora was more fun than I liked to admit. I loved hearing him laugh—he had this kind of laugh that was infectious, the kind of laugh that made you feel at ease immediately. His sense of humor, his ability to forgive and forget even the worst offenses…other things I loved about him. And then there was his smile—a smile that seemed to read you like a book while still making you feel comfortable around him…

I didn't get it. I didn't get how someone could be so…_likeable_.

I'd given him hell for more than half his life, and he'd forgiven me.

I'd stolen the girl he loved away from him, and he'd _still_ forgiven me.

But this time, I wasn't so sure he'd forgive me for what I'd done.

I remembered our conversation from that day on the beach, as clear as day.

"_Look at me. I just want you to know that I'd never ever do anything that would hurt her."_

"_You'd better not." _

"_You know…I'm actually happy for you guys. Happy for her…she has someone as good as you…to make her happy."_

I thumb lingered above the call button, debating whether I should call him or not. I knew I had to tell him before Kairi told him if I wanted him to ever forgive me. I was about to press call when I realized something: Kairi and Sora lived right next door to each other. It wouldn't have been shocking if she'd already run back to him and tattled on me. Sure, Kairi wasn't the type to do that, but Sora _was _her best friend. And she was a girl. And I had a feeling girls took stuff like being abused by their boyfriend _very _seriously.

I threw my phone across the room, watching it shatter into several pieces as it collided with the brick wall. I didn't have the strength to curse. I lay on my back and looked up at the ceiling.

I felt lost.

I felt broken.

* * *

_So I'm holding on (I'm still holding)_

_I'm holding on (I'm still holding)_

_I'm holding on_

_Barely holding onto you_

* * *

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I was woken up what felt like twenty minutes later by a loud banging on the door. I mumbled something in reply, and the person let himself in.

It was Loz. He was holding a mug and a nylon bag. "Hey."

I mumbled into my pillow. My headache felt worse, and so did my arm. I really wished I didn't have to wake up. Ever.

"This should help with the pain," Loz muttered, dropping the nylon bag next to my head. I glanced at it, feeling too tired to lift my head off the pillow. He lifted me up anyway so he could hand me the mug. It was filled halfway with vodka.

"Doesn't alcohol make headaches worse?" I mumbled.

He shrugged. "I brought you aspirin."

I sighed and dug into the nylon bag, coming out with a Tylenol container and a small satchet of what looked like weed. I raised an eyebrow at him. He pretended not to notice.

I sighed and took the pills, drowning them down with the bitter alcohol. I handed him back the mug and muttered a thanks. I lay back on the bed as Loz started rolling up a joint.

I rested my hand against my burning forehead. "I hate my life…"

"You get used to it."

I let my eyes rest for a while, until I felt Loz shaking my shoulder. "What?"

"Here." He handed me a lit up joint. "It helps."

I didn't believe him, but I accepted it anyway. I was too down to care about the possible health effects that it'd half later on in life. I just needed something that'd make myself feel less fucked up, and if weed was the only solution, then so be it.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the wall, exhaling slowly. I might have drifted off into sleep again had Loz not spoken up.

"It's not so bad here, you know."

I remained silent, praying for the stupid drug to kick in already so I wouldn't have to listen to him.

"You've got a place to sleep…and food…and water…and when you start work, you'll have his protection. And the boss—"

"Shut your fucking mouth," I snapped angrily, discarding the spliff. I was lucky the floor wasn't carpeted. "I don't give a shit; nothing you say to me is gonna make me stay in this messed up place!"

I got to my feet, picking up a random coat I found on one of the boxes and pulling on my sneakers.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I don't care." I pulled on the coat, which turned out to be a hoodie. Hm. "Anywhere but here."

"Are you seriously thinking of going back to live with _Sephiroth_?"

I froze in my tracks. Honestly, I didn't know _what _I was doing or where I was going. I just didn't want to accept that I was under that shitfaced old geezer's control.

"I'm not…living with Dad anymore."

He looked confused. "You're not?"

"No. I left…on Wednesday." I absently fingered the bandage on my arm, feeling strangely nervous. I didn't usually talk with Loz unless we were having some kind of argument, so I didn't really know how to act.

His eyebrows knitted. "Then…where're you crashing now?"

There was something in his voice that moved me to tell him straight. "Timeless River." He looked shocked. "What?"

His frown deepened. "Well you're not gonna be going back there anytime soon."

"Why not?" I protested immediately. "It's _my _apartment; I bought it and—"

"That area's off limits to any of us. If they catch you on their turf they'll shoot you dead."

"What do you mean 'us'? What do you mean 'their turf'?" I was royally pissed off by now. "I have nothing to do with you…people."

"Well, they wouldn't know that."

I groaned when I realized he had a point. "I already told the fucktard that I'm not working with him! Why can't he fucking get it?"

"I've told you already. You don't just say _no _to the boss—"

"Quit calling him that!" I growled. "He's a _crook_, Loz! Why can't you fucking see that?"

"Riku—"

"I'm serious! I want to have a life, okay? I'll _never _be anyone's _**slave**_! I don't want to end up like all those cocksucking dickheads you hang out with!"

He squared his jaw, and for a second I thought he'd finally decided to shut up.

Until he spoke up again. "Fine. Do what you want."

And then he stood up.

And left the room.

* * *

_I'm hanging on another day_

_Just to see what, you will throw my way_

_And I'm hanging on, to the words you say_

_You said that I will, will be okay_

* * *

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I ended up not going anywhere. I knew Loz was right. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed food. I needed shelter. And I needed protection. If I tried to go back home and got caught by anyone, I'd most likely end up dead.

I contemplated once or twice the idea of going to confess everything to Tifa, hoping she'd maybe take me in with her husband and stepsons or whatever.

I knew that idea was stupid, though. Tifa was nice and all, but I hadn't ever met her husband. From the way she described him, I had a feeling he wouldn't be as receptive. She did say he used to work in a sector of the military.

I must have fallen sick; I drifted in and out of sleep, waking up only to take a sip out of the mugs that seemed to magically appear on the desk each time I woke up. The headaches only got worse. I couldn't stop shivering, even though it was scorching hot in the middle of Spring. Getting high didn't help anything either.

And then there were the nightmares.

The same nightmare that haunted me before came back once again. I was drowning in the never-ending sea of nothingness.

But this time it was different.

As I fell deeper and deeper into the endless oblivion, something caught my eye.

It was me, standing there with Kairi, and we were looking into each others' eyes. And then all of a sudden I started yelling at her, and she started yelling at me, and then…and then I hit her. And she began to cry. And I went on yelling at her, and then I started hitting her again, and she kept on crying.

And I opened my mouth to yell at him to stop, and suddenly I wasn't looking at myself anymore.

I was looking at _Sephiroth_.

I tried desperately to do something, anything, but all I could do was stand there, and watch him beat her up, again and again.

The nightmare repeated itself every night, and I'd wake up sweating all over and feeling sicker and sicker each passing day.

And all I wanted was for someone to sing me to sleep the way Kairi did, and to hug me and tell me everything was going to work out somehow.

* * *

_The broken light on the freeway_

_Left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now_

_But I haven't forgotten my way home_

* * *

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I woke up feeling a bit better than I had in ages. I didn't know what day it was. I didn't know what time it was. It appeared to be mid-afternoon, judging from the light spilling through the windows, and the room was empty.

I stumbled off the bed, letting the blood run through my veins freely again. It seemed like ages since the last time I'd been on my feet. My head was still pounding, but it wasn't as bad as it had been for a while.

I slowly creaked the door open and headed down the hallway, bracing myself and getting ready to retort to everyone's questions. I was surprised to find that no one was in the lounge room. It was empty as well, apart from the few old chairs and threadbare couches. The poker table was free of people, which looked pretty odd, to be honest.

I inhaled deeply, trying to figure out what to do. And I realized that this was the first time in a while that I had the place to myself, not that I even knew where I was.

After taking a walk around the room and down the hallway—realizing that there were three other rooms on that floor and that they were all most likely bedrooms—I figured that if I wanted to go out, I had to do it now.

So I rushed back into the room I'd been sleeping in for god-knows-how-long and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt—which didn't belong to me and smelt of Yazoo—before picking up my backpack and heading out of the building.

It turned out that I was at the third floor of an apartment building, and I eventually realized that I'd been in and out of sleep for more than two weeks. I rubbed my arm and realized the bandage had disappeared, and the blood at been cleaned, leaving an intricate tattoo. Now it was clean, I could see the overlapping sequence of arrows clearly.

I swallowed, pulling on the coat I'd stolen to cover it up. I still refused to believe I was now branded as one of…them.

I took a bus, not sure where I was going. I looked at my reflection in the window as I sat down. I reached up and felt the side of my head. It had apparently been cleaned up as well, though I could still feel the bruise. I realized that I ached a lot less than I had when I first arrived at…wherever it was I'd been staying for the past two weeks.

I rummaged through my backpack for my phone, only to realize it had disappeared. Loz had probably taken it when I was asleep. I cursed, feeling pissed as hell, until suddenly I realized my phone had been replaced with another. There was a sticky-note attached; _'Scraped you're old phone. Figured you didn't want Dad to track you down.'_

I rolled my eyes at his atrocious spelling, but felt strangely thankful for that anyway. Apart from the fact that I didn't have any numbers on my phone apart from him, it was a pretty smart move.

I leaned back in my seat, trying to clear my head and figure out where to go. My stomach growled; I was hungry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had something to eat. I was pretty sure I was broke; the guys in the apartment had probably taken all I had.

If I went back home I'd end up getting hit again for sure, but at least I'd have a bed, and food, and clean clothes…

But what if Dad got pissed off and lost his temper and almost killed me again? Then what?

I swallowed, trying not to imagine what would have happened if Dad had killed me then. Dad would probably lie to the school that we were transferring out, or something. And he'd probably bury me in the backyard, or something. And move out himself.

I didn't know how Dad's brain worked.

I sighed. I was hungry. I was lost.

And I could only think of one place I could go. Back to the only person left who I could trust.

Tifa. I was going to Seventh Heaven.

* * *

_ I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

_In the pain (In the pain)_

_There is healing_

_In your name (In your name)_

_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on..._

* * *

**Um…dramatic ending FAIL.**

**Not a long chapter…sowwy. Well the next one's gonna be longer, and this one was pretty much a filler-slash-nothing chapter…bleh. I am not proud of this one, but…whatever. **

**Just had to post this, so I could keep to my promise of updating weekly. **

**Sorry for the lack of…well, anything in this chapter. I might come and give it a little clean up later…but at the moment I've just got to post this. **

**Sneek Peek:**

* * *

"_Teach me."_

"…_there's something you should know about her." _

"_C'mon! Live a little!"_

"_Sora?"_

* * *

**Yeah…um…more should happen in the next chappie. I promise. =3 **

**Until then…review? XXX**


	26. The Mess I Made

**A/N: …shall we? **

**Superpeanutbutter: I KNOW…so depressing…I listen to sad songs so much…my family thinks I'm depressed sometimes lol. I'm serious though…you should see the playlist on my phone…try listening to The Weight of Us by Sanders Bholke…probably the most depressing song on my playlist…but then there's Empty by The Click Five… *continues rant* And glad you liked it! It was a bit depressing, but this one's gonna be better, PROMISE. **

**About this chapter: Some RikuShion development…and more angst…because Riku's life is depressing…oh, and an unexpected appearance. :) It's not that long…SORRY. **

**Disclaimer: … *sighs* No duh. 'The Mess I Made' belongs to amazing band Parachute! 'Riku' belongs to Yoko Shimomura and Miwa Sato. **

**NOTICE: …after doing some research, I realized I'd switched Irvine and Zidane's characters up. So I'm gonna be switching their roles in this fic. Irvine is now Zidane and Zidane is now Irvine. So basically…Riku doesn't know anyone called Irvine yet. Capiche? *goes to correct all previous chapters***

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I get kidnapped._

"You're coming with us."

_I'm branded._

They'd given me a _tattoo_. If I ever got caught in one of Xehanort's schemes, I'd be identified as one of them.

_And…well. I'm fucked._

* * *

**Chapter 26: The Mess I Made**

Xion was there again. She was scribbling in a notebook when I came in, her hair swept back, unlike her usual style. It seemed to tint blue in the sun, and she was wearing some kind of school uniform. I assumed she'd been cosplaying again.

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes momentarily to calm myself down. I needed to forget all of the crap that had happened in the past few weeks, at least just for now. If I was going to tell Tifa what had happened, I didn't need Xion there to hear it. I didn't want to somehow pull her into it…for all I knew, Xehanort had people all over town.

She didn't notice I'd come in until I sat down next to her, giving her a small wave of the hand. "Hey."

She jumped slightly, and frowned when she saw me. "Quit scaring me like that."

"It's not my fault you're so jumpy," I muttered, poking her arm.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, returning to her task. I set my backpack on the table and rapped my fingers on the table absently, looking around for Tifa.

"She's just around the corner. She'll be out in a few."

I nodded, fixing my eyes on Xion again. Her eyes were slightly darker than usual, so I assumed she was wearing contacts. "Cosplaying again?"

"Suzuna Taki." She stuck her tongue out at me. I pretended to know what she was talking about. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Eyeshield 21?"

I shook my head, and she shook her head before returning to what she was doing. "You weren't here last Friday."

I sighed, wiping at my fringe. (I cringed. It was long since due for conditioning, and it felt pretty stringy between my fingers. I should've thought of fixing my hair before running out of the apartment.)

I'd totally forgotten about that…I'd probably slept through it. I hadn't been conscious of the time during the whole time I was sick. "Yeah…I was busy. Sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier."

She shrugged dismissively, her pencil scraping across the scratchy paper of the notebook. I tilted my head and realized barely made out music notes and one of those treble clef things you usually see on music sheets. I felt myself smile. "Writing a song?"

She nodded nervously, closing her notebook slightly. "Um, yeah." She cleared her throat. "It…it's a work in progress. I actually wanted to see what you thought about it."

She took my hand and dragged me to the piano, pulling up a seat and making me sit down next to her. She pulled out the piano bench and set the notesheet in front of her, before clearing her throat and letting her fingers hover over the keys. She gave me a nervous smile. "Remember, this is a _work in progress_, i.e. I'm not done with it, _wakar__u_?"

I had to guess what the random Japanese meant, because Xion spoke Japanese whenever she deemed fit, not even bothering to explain to people like me. (The only thing remotely Asian about most of us on the island was that our grandparents or our grandparents' grandparents were of Korean descent. We hadn't been under Korean rule since the nineteenth century. Or something.)

She closed her eyes and began to play. The piece was somber, and stayed that way for most of the song. It didn't seem at all like a 'work in progress'. Her fingers danced effortlessly across the keys, as if they had minds of their own. As the song progressed, I felt an odd tightening in my chest, and suddenly the depressed feeling started slowly seeping its way into my mind again.

The melody came to an end, and she blushed, wiping at her purply-blue cosplay skirt. "I know, it's not my best work, but it's not done yet, so—"

"It's beautiful."

It barely came out in a whisper. I hadn't even been planning to say it out loud. Xion's eyes widened, and she stared at me for a while. And then her face lit up in a grin, and she tucked a strand of stray onyx-blue hair behind her ear. "Thanks! I personally thought it could've been better…"

I smiled in response. "You're really good. Think you could teach me someday?"

She shrugged. "If you want me to."

I chuckled, shaking my head. I let out a sigh. I knew Xion teaching me piano wasn't going to happen to me any time soon. As soon as they found out I'd escaped, they'd be sure to track me down, and then…

I leaned my arms on the table, burying my face in my arms. I already felt a headache coming on.

"You wanna know the name?"

I leaned on my palm, forcing myself to look at Xion. "Name of what?"

"The song." She was gripping the edges of her notebook, smiling nervously. I felt guilty for making her worry about me all of a sudden, so I nodded. She lowered the notebook, sighing. "_Riku_."

I stared at her.

"It's called _Riku_." She laughed slightly. "D-Don't worry—you're not the only one I've done this for. I mean, I've been doing this thing where I write, like, theme songs for people. I mean, I did one for my best friend, and my cousin, and…myself, of course." She exhaled sharply, setting her notebook on the table. I wondered how many songs she'd composed. And she was only fifteen-ish. Well at least she looked fifteen-ish. She looked me straight in the eyes. "I don't know…there's something about you I've never really been able to figure out. Okay, so I know we haven't known each other for that long and all, but…I just find you…intriguing."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" I said with a smirk.

She gave me a mini-glare, but she was smiling too. "You're choice." She played with her fingers. "Well…when I first met you, you came across as this sickeningly good looking guy who worked at the Shack." She didn't even blush as she said this, which I found pretty impressive. "You had that typical, cocky, 'too sexy for myself' smile, and usually I would've just assumed you were like every other Blitzball jock—"

"How do you know I play Blitzball?"

"You beat our team at Regionals?"

"Oh."

"Anyway…I don't know how, but I just sensed there was more to you than that. Like…like you're hiding something…like your real personality is behind your smile and your eyes and…I don't know. I swore to myself: 'One day, I'm going to figure you out'…and that's how come I've only gotten halfway through the song." She sighed again. "Sometimes when I'm around you it's like something's just off, like just right now…" Her eyebrows creased together in a sad frown. "…you just seemed so…_sad._"

I turned away from her gaze, feeling horribly awkward all of a sudden. The bruise in my head seemed to throb all of a sudden, and I tugged on my sleeve, scared that she'd somehow see through my shirt and see the stupid tattoo on my arm…and that would only lead to more questions.

"Um…" I cleared my throat, starting to feel nauseous. "I…yeah I've been pretty down for a while I…" I racked my brains for an excuse that didn't involve Kadaj, Sephiroth or Xehanort…and then I remembered. "I…I actually broke up with my girlfriend."

Xion gasped, looking genuinely sorry for me. "You…I'm so sorry…I didn't—"

"It's no big deal," I lied, though just thinking about what had happened the last time I saw her made me want to jump off a cliff or something. "We haven't been together for two weeks now. Which was why I didn't show up last week…"

She nodded slowly, just as Tifa appeared, lugging a carrier bag of what seemed to be groceries and a pack of cigarettes. She grinned when she saw me. "Riku! Where've you been? You didn't show up last week—"

"He was busy," Xion answered for me.

Tifa nodded, shrugging apologetically. "You could've at least given me a call."

"Sorry."

"Hm."

Tifa frowned slightly, heading back into the kitchen. Xion chewed absently on a fingernail. And then her eyes lit up, like she'd just gotten an idea. "Hey—why don't you stop by this Friday? I mean, you do kind of owe us a visit—and it's _Friday Night_ and Tifa's putting on something special."

I hesitated for a moment. "Xion…"

"No, really, it's gonna be awesome!" She giggled. "My cousin's gonna be there, and my best friend, and there's gonna be drinks, and _girls_, and party music…and you'll get to meet everyone…" She reached into her bookbag and pulled out a sheet of paper, handing it to me and jumping up and down. "And here's the list of songs that's gonna play, and if you learn most of them you can sing too, and it's gonna be _so_ awesome pretty pretty pretty please?"

I didn't really want to make any promises with her, because I wasn't even sure if I'd make it, especially with my idiot brothers on my case, but she looked so damn excited about it and she gave me that pleading look and I just couldn't bring myself to say no. I sighed, patting her on the head. "Sure…I'll make sure to drop by."

"YES!" She squealed before crushing me in a hug. I didn't know if it was possible for someone so small to be so strong. She seemed to notice my discomfort and pulled away quickly. "Um. Sorry about that. Ha." She clapped her hands together. "Do you know how to play bass guitar?"

I shrugged. "Not really, the basics, but—"

"Well that's good enough." She bounced on the balls of her feet. "My best friend knows how to play guitar, so maybe he could teach you how to play a few songs, and maybe—"

We were interrupted by the sound of my phone vibrating in my pocket. I slipped it out, feeling my palms grow sweaty. I felt myself frown when I saw the name of the caller.

I turned back to Xion, giving her the best smile I could muster. "Um…we'll talk about this when I drop by tomorrow, okay, Xion?"

"Call me 'Xi-chan'," she muttered, obviously pretty miffed I was leaving. "It sounds cuter."

"Um…okay, Xi-chan." I rolled my eyes at her Japanese obsession before picking up my backpack. "I've gotta go…um, say hi to Tifa for me, okay?"

Xion nodded, waving at me right up until I'd walked through the double doors and back into the cruel outdoors.

* * *

"What the hell do you want?" I hissed, finally picking up my phone after I'd let it ring about five times. I had to wait until I was far enough from Seventh Heaven, incase Xion tried to follow me or something. The ringtone was this totally gay Mickey Mouse tune, which was even worse, and after listening to it ring five times in a row and getting strange looks from people I met on the way, I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop calling me, for fucksake."

"Why didn't you pick up your phone, dumbass?" It was Kadaj. Of course. He'd probably taken Loz's phone. "Where the fuck are you?"

I decided to evade the question. "Tell Loz I said thanks for the phone. It was really generous of him."

"Don't fuck with me, idiot." He sighed. "You don't just go running around wherever you want, especially now that you're one of us."

"I'm not…" I gritted my teeth together, rubbing my left temple with my free hand to calm myself down. "Look, I can do whatever I want, okay?"

He seemed to think that over. "When are you coming back, then?"

"Whenever I fucking want to," I retorted immediately, about ready to hang up. "You can't tell me when I have to come back—"

And then my stomach growled.

And I realized I'd totally forgotten to ask Tifa for something to eat, which was pretty much the main reason I went to Seventh Heaven in the first place. Xion had ended up distracting me, and now my stomach had begun to growl again.

Apparently it was so loud that Kadaj could hear it through the phone. I heard him chuckle. "Hungry, huh? It's too bad you're not coming back soon, because I heard Loz was just ordering pizza."

My stomach growled dangerously at the mention of food. I felt my mouth water. "I…"

"No pineapple, though, cause that's just wrong. We're thinking beef and pepperoni. Extra cheese. What do you think, Edge?"

I should have known. Kadaj was ruthless. But I was determined to endure. So what if they were having pepperoni pizza…with extra cheese? I wasn't going to let them—

"And—oh!—maybe some _pancakes_ for dessert."

Pancakes were my kryptonite. I couldn't take it anymore.

"…I don't know the way back."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Half an hour later, I was sitting on a red threadbare couch in the lounge room, stuffing my face with pepperoni and beef pizza. With extra cheese. And hot sauce.

And it was heavenly.

I hadn't eaten since lunchtime on the last day of Spring Term. That couldn't have been healthy. I'd lost almost ten pounds. Loz said the drugs he gave me were supposed to fill in for the lack of food, making me wonder what the hell he'd given me once again. For all I knew, he could have repeatedly injected me with speed or something, while I was sleeping.

But at that moment I didn't care. I was so damn hungry. Nothing else really mattered anymore.

I devoured a whole box of pizza and was just about ready to move onto the next one when Loz stopped me. "Hey—I paid for these!"

"Let him eat," Kadaj chuckled. "He's gonna need it."

I stopped chewing, not liking the tone in his voice. He just grinned and headed over to the poker table, where a few other guys were playing cards. I wondered how often they played cards, or if they had anything better to do.

I helped myself to another slice of pizza, chewing slowly and looking around the room. Almost all of them were smoking, the window open just a crack to let the smoke out, thought it wasn't helping that much. Two of the guys were sitting next to the TV, and one of them was injecting himself with what I assumed was heroin, or whatever. I'd watched Requiem for a Dream with Reno the previous year, and it had scarred me enough to not even think about taking speed. Kadaj was laughing at something Seifer had said, while Yazoo was leaning against the wall, reading a book, which looked pretty odd. Loz was munching on pizza and flipping through channels on the TV.

They all looked…at home.

And I wondered if I was going to end up being like them one day.

I grimaced at the thought.

"Hey." I nearly jumped when I felt someone's arm on my shoulder, and frowned when I saw who it was. Seifer's eyebrows creased together in a playful frown. "Whoa—it's just me. Paranoid much?" He took a seat next to me on the couch, lighting another cigarette with the end of the nearly finished one he held between his lips before discarding the old one. He offered me a cigarette, and I shook my head.

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "What a pussy."

I frowned, deciding not to waste my time retorting. Seifer took a long drag of his cigarette and rested his filthy boots on the table, right next to the carton of pizza. I suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore.

"So…I heard your Dad kicked you out."

_Screw Kadaj and his stupid big mouth. _"He didn't kick me out. I left."

"Hm." He stretched his arms. "Well you came to the right place."

I took another bite of my pizza.

"It's not as bad as it seems here, honestly," Seifer continued, taking another drag. "I mean, sure, it's scary at first, but you've been doing it for them for ages now, so it shouldn't be _that _much of a problem, right?" He laughed. "No, it's great here, really. Worth dropping out of school for."

Hm. He was a high school dropout. _Figures._

"Sure, I had to give up a few things…" He lowered his voice slightly, and I realized his smile had almost completely disappeared. I thought about asking him about it, but suddenly there was a knock in the door and in came a blonde guy with several girls in tow. They were all scantily dressed, and I tried not to shudder when I realized they might have been prostitutes.

Well, they ended up not being prostitutes. Or at least Loz said they weren't. He just said that the blonde guy—Irvine, apparently—brought girls over frequently, but no one really knew where he got them. He seemed to always have girls on his fingertips, and I got the impression that Irvine was some kind of sex freak.

A few of them seemed to be regulars, since they recognized pretty much everyone in the room. Except me of course.

"Who's this?" One of them walked up to me, tilting my head upwards to look at her. She had auburn-red hair and a mocking sneer.

I felt immediately uncomfortable with her touching me, and shrugged out of her grasp.

"That's just Riku," Seifer muttered, stroking the waist of the girl on his lap. "He's new, so don't break him."

I hated how they were referring to me like I was some kind of toy. Someone turned on the radio, and obnoxious party music filled the room, making it seem even more crowded than usual.

I realized staying in the lounge room was only going to get more uncomfortable the longer I stayed there, and picked up my backpack, a bottle of vodka and the final slice of pizza before getting to my feet. "I'm gonna crash."

No one really seemed to care, so I escaped to the stuffy bedroom at ease.

I finished my pizza and sat on the bed, trying to think of what to do to keep myself busy. I could hear the wild party music through the wall. I sighed, raking my hands through my greasy hair. I grimaced, deciding to take a shower.

I rummaged through some boxes and found a towel, deciding I didn't really have a choice but to use it. I managed to find the bathroom without bumping into anyone in the hallways, and let out a sigh of relief as I closed the door behind me.

I filled the bath with warm water and stripped down, slipping into the bath with a sigh. It seemed like ages since I'd last had a shower. The water was soothing to my clammy skin, and for a second I was almost able to block out T-Pain's stupid rapping.

As I soaked myself in the tub, I was able to think. About what I was going to do from here on out. About what was going to happen to me now.

About Kairi.

My fists clenched on locks of my wet hair as I remembered what I'd done to her. I knew I couldn't go back. I couldn't face her. I couldn't face anyone, really.

My hands slipped off the edges of the bath tub as I slowly descended into the murky water. I could hear my heartbeat, and I could see the surface of the rippling bath water. I'd probably left the tap running. I slowly exhaled, watching the bubbles cloud my vision. It looked kind of nice. And I knew I was running out of air…yet I felt strangely relaxed. Drowning wouldn't be so bad, would it? At least I wouldn't have to deal with Kairi, and Sora, and school, and Loz and Kadaj and Yazoo and Da—Sephiroth and…Xehanort. He'd be better off with my dead, wouldn't he?

Hm. Just slipping away seemed nice. And painless.

My eyes started getting heavy as the water flooded my lungs…

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

I vaguely heard the sound of Loz knocking. I would have sighed, if doing that underwater was possible. _'Seriously? I can't even __**die **__in peace here?'_

I pulled myself out of the water, coughing until my throat burned.

I wiped myself down and wrapped the towel around my torso before opening the door.

"What the fuck?" Loz hissed, shoving past me and hurrying towards the toilet. I heard him unzip his pants, and then sigh obnoxiously loud as he relieved himself. "Ah."

I decided to focus on my hair, brushing it down with a comb I'd found underneath the sink. "Um, do you guys have a straightener here or…?" I trailed off when I saw the sneer on his face.

He flushed the toilet, looking like he was about to burst out laughing. "Yeah. Right. This isn't exactly the _Ritz_." He paused, eyes narrowing as he saw the still un-drained bathtub. "And what the hell? What the—You do know we get charged for this, don't you? You can't just…ugh! What do you need this much water for anyway? What—were you trying to drown yourself or something?"

I decided not to answer. Loz apparently saw something on my face, because he blanched. "You were trying to drown yourself…"

"Look, it's no big deal. It was stupid and…" I yanked harder at my hair, cursing at myself for forgetting to bring conditioner. "…and it's none of your business."

He walked closer to me. "Actually, it is my business!" His fists were clenched, and he looked the way he usually did whenever someone called him a son of a bitch. He hated people insulting his mother. Which was pretty sad.

"It _isn't_!" I snapped. "I can do what I want, okay? Why would you care anyway?"

"Because you're my _brother_!"

I stared at him. Did he…did he actually…?

He looked pretty sure about what he'd just said, and for some reason I wanted to punch him in the face for saying that. "Just…just leave me alone, alright?"

"Riku—"

"You don't have the right to tell me what to do and what not to do, because for most of my life you've been putting my down and making my life a living hell and haven't once shown you've given a flying fuck about me! And now you've dragged me into this mess! If you really _cared _about me, you would've—"

"What?" Loz cut me off. "What would I have done, Riku? Left you there with Dad? Or left you in that deadend apartment by yourself?" He sighed, lighting a cigarette. He smelt of alcohol. He was the only one in the family apart from me who inherited the high alcohol tolerance gene. Kadaj was one of those crazy drunks. "First of all, it wasn't _me _who dragged you into 'this mess'. Second…you're much better off here, no matter how crazy you think this place is."

He left me there, then, heading back into the party. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and saw this guy with unconditioned hair, a scar underneath his right eye and an unattractive scowl on his face. I bit down on my lip to calm myself down. I realized how close I was to drowning myself, and I wondered what would have happened had Loz not needed the bathroom. I would have died, drowning myself in a bathtub. Naked.

I felt pretty stupid.

I passed by the lounge on the way to the bedroom. Everyone looked wasted, and almost every girl in the room was shirtless. Unsurprisingly.

There was a couple in the room when I arrived, but I managed to yell at them until they left. I pulled on some clothes and collapsed into bed.

Did I always look that sad, like Xion had said? Was I as good at hiding what I really felt as I thought I was?

I was tired. I needed to sleep.

I sighed. Screw overthinking. I was going to take each day as it came. Worrying about the future was pointless.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I woke up on the edge of the bed, next to Seifer and some random blonde girl. Everyone else was suffering from hangovers the next morning, so I managed to escape easily once again.

I headed to the 7th Heaven. I realized how stupid even thinking of killing myself really was. It wouldn't be fair on Tifa…or Xion.

Xion's hair was longer, but at least it was the usual black color. She was wearing some kind of Asian uniform with a green skirt and a red tie. She was sharing a packet of fries with the guy sitting next to her, a guy with strawberry blond hair and—

_Whoa. _

"Roxas?"

Roxas glanced at me, a fry sticking out of his mouth, and his eyes widened momentarily. And then he frowned. "What's he doing here?"

"This is Riku," Xion got to her feet and patted me on the shoulder. "He's the guy who you need to teach."

"I assume you're the best friend," I muttered. I'd never really liked Roxas, and I'd usually steered clear of him, especially when he was in that emo phase and everything. He generally freaked people out, and he had this way of looking at you that made it feel like you could catch fire any second. And not in a good way either.

He nodded, glancing at Xion. Xion shrugged. Roxas sighed and muttered something about going to grab his guitar, and Xion sighed. "Sorry about him…he's nice once you get to know him. Well…nic_er_."

I sighed, digging my hands into my pockets. "Right."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Tifa was having a busy week, so Xion made us go to the park. I spent my afternoons in the park with Xion and Roxas. Roxas didn't warm up to me any more than I'd expected him to, but I did manage to learn the basic chords to the songs indicated.

Roxas would leave to go skating after a couple of hours of teaching me, and then Xion and I would head back to the bar, and she'd try in vain to teach me how to play the piano. I guess I just wasn't a piano person.

"I know," Xion suggested that Thursday, after I failed to successfully play the ten notes she'd told me to. "Why don't _I _play and you sing?"

"Sing what?" I asked, taking a sip out of the bottle of Pepsi she'd tossed me.

"I dunno. You know any songs with piano in them?"

Actually I did. It was a song I'd heard on the radio a few days back, with lyrics that seemed to haunt me. You know how sometimes you're in the car, or your in your bedroom, and you're thinking about something and then suddenly this song comes on that seems to reflect exactly what you were thinking about? Well, that's what happened to me, except it was ridiculously accurate.

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. I hummed the tune to her, and she immediately recognized it, playing the introductory notes.

"Great song choice," she giggled. "A Parachute fan, huh? Roxas loves Parachute."

I pretended to know what she was talking about. "Um…I don't exactly know the band...or the lyrics…"

"Don't worry, I've got that covered." She immediately began to scribble down the lyrics, and before I knew it she was done. "Here you go." I stared at her in awe. "Trust me, if you hung out with Roxas as much as I did, you'd know all the lyrics to that song as well."

I chuckled slightly, reading over the lyrics carefully. I sighed, turning back to Xion. "So…what exactly is your relationship with Roxas? How long have you guys known each other?"

"Tell me more about you first," she replied, running her fingers along the piano. "I know almost nothing about you, except that you work at the Shack, you recently broke up with your girlfriend, you can't play piano even if your life depended on it and you like pancakes."

I forced a smile. "Right."

We were interrupted by Tifa, who called saying that Xion's mum was on her way to pick her up. Xion sighed, obviously annoyed, before giving me an apologetic smile. "You just work on that song—make it _perfect_." She patted me on the cheek before jumping to her feet. "Sayonara, Riku-kun!"

I watched as she headed into one of the back rooms, just as Tifa came out with another order. She gave me a small smile as she returned, wiping the back of her forehead. "Sorry I haven't had time to talk this week…it's always busy around this time of year." She patted me on the shoulder. "You and Xion having fun?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"You're gonna be here tomorrow, right?"

I nodded. I didn't care if the apocalypse was coming the next day—I was going to miss it this time. Especially since we'd put so much work into it. And, plus, maybe I could indirectly ask Tifa to let me stay with her and her husband and her nephews and whatever. I'd gotten tired of sleeping in the Shithole.

"Promise me you'll come."

"I promise."

Tifa grinned. "Perfect."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I managed to memorize the lyrics to the song on the half hour bus back to the Shithole. I contemplated sleeping on the bus; I really didn't want to go back to that place. I know Loz said it was better than nothing, but…

I was even starting to not believe him.

I'd spent the week locked up in my room whenever I wasn't out with Roxas and Xion. Sometimes I'd just sleep, while alternatively I'd browse through Kairi's Facebook pictures. It was like torture, seeing her face and knowing I'd never be able to see it again…

I guess that's why I liked Xion so much. She reminded me of Kairi. Well, a bubblier, more childish version of Kairi. And when I hung out with her…I momentarily forgot that I'd lost Kairi and my life was collapsing.

I'd just finished getting dressed that Friday afternoon when Kadaj kicked the door open. "C'mon, shithead. The boss called—you're needed upstairs."

"What…?" I didn't have time to protest, because he'd already pulled me roughly by the arm and was leading me out the door. He pushed me up the stairs, while I struggled to make him let go of me. His grip was almost as strong as Dad's. "I don't want to see that ba—"

"Well what you want doesn't matter here."

We arrived at the flat, and I recognized the carpeted floor and the crisp wallpaper. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as we got nearer and nearer to the room. I wanted more than anything to run away, but I knew that was pointless at this point.

Xehanort was at his desk, like he'd been the last time I saw him. He wasn't smoking this time, and instead he seemed to be cleaning a handgun.

"Ah, look who's finally decided to come say hello." He crossed his hands over his desk, his amber eyes burning into mine. I gulped, trying to keep my face stoic. I didn't want to give off the impression I was scared of him, especially after the way I'd left the last time. When it became clear that I wasn't saying anything else, Xehanort cleared his throat. "So…what brings you here?"

I remained silent, unsure what to say. He knew as well as I did that he was the one who'd asked for me.

He frowned slightly. "Lost your voice?"

"I…they said you asked for me…sir."

He nodded, before giving Kadaj and the other guy with him a sign, as if to tell them to leave the room. I immediately started to panic, and it was growing harder and harder to hide it.

The door clicked closed, and the room was silent.

Xehanort picked up his handgun and started wiping it clean again. "Riku Harada." I didn't need to wonder how he knew my last name. He shook his head. "You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?"

I dug my nails into my palms. "I…I'm…"

He kept his eyes glued on me. His glare was even more powerful that Roxas', which is saying something. "You really shouldn't have, Riku."

I lowered my gaze. I felt an increasing urge to tattle on them, but I had a feeling that wouldn't help anything. All that'd result from that would be Xehanort shooting all four of us—Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz and me—dead. Which wasn't exactly what I was going for.

"You are probably wondering why I called you here." He placed his gun back on the desk. "Do you have any idea how much munny your brothers owe me?" I opened my mouth to answer, but he continued before I could. "I am not going to go into specifics, but they owe me quite a large amount. They squandered most of the munny I gave them, and they eventually didn't have a choice but to find another source of income to repay me. Which was your father's account, if I'm correct?"

I nodded, trying to register the information. They'd gone bankrupt? Xehanort had _lent _them munny? He didn't look like the kind of guy who would do any of that.

"Well…you really shouldn't have dug yourself into this, because now you owe me just as much as your brothers do," he continued.

"But…but that's not fair!" I protested before I could stop myself. "I…I didn't—"

"Life isn't fair," he muttered dismissively. "You will have to work off your debt. And if you get caught doing so, so be it."

My fists were clenched so hard my nails had cut through the skin on my palms. It took all my willpower to prevent myself from punching him. I knew trying that would be stupid, since he was obviously way stronger than me, and, plus, he had a freaking _handgun _while I had nothing but my fists.

I took a deep breath. "What do you want me to do?"

"What do you want to do?" He picked up his handgun and began to clean it once again. "I am going to give you a choice. You work for me until you're debt is paid, or I destroy you."

I was at loss for words.

"I am giving you two weeks to decide. Until then…"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I almost didn't go to Seventh Heaven.

_Almost_.

Kadaj badgered me to no end, eager to figure out what Xehanort had told me. I kept silent, trying to focus on not exploding on anyone. The urge to punch people in the face was overwhelming.

I eventually realized I couldn't break my promise with Tifa, and that going to Seventh Heaven would be good for me. I'd be distracted. Xion would be there, and Tifa, and her family…and maybe I'd be able to forget…

…at least for a while.

* * *

The club was booming when I got there. The raging party music was even louder than the one in the apartment party had been, but it gave off a different feel…

The tables were filling up, and I saw Machina and Rem in the crowd, grinding to the blaring electro pop. It almost seemed like the average high school party, except almost everyone appeared to be adults…or at least in their late teens. And this party looked a lot more sophisticated…if that was even possible.

Some Kesha song started to play, and I saw a group of friends cheer as a girl started dancing on the table. I pushed through the throngs of people and managed to find my way to the bar. Tifa was hurriedly passing out drinks, rushing to and fro with the trays. She was in her nightclub outfit—white cropped tank top, black mini skirt with a belt and suspenders.

She grinned when she saw me. "You made it! Xion's going to be thrilled!"

I chuckled and took a seat. "Hey, Tifa."

She passed another tray, complete with one of her signature smiles, before turning back to me. "What're you ordering? Drinks are on the house! Well…for my performers at least."

I ordered a beer. "Performers? You mean…I'm performing?"

"Duh!" Tifa passed me a can. It was freezing cold. Perfect. "Didn't Xion tell you? She told me you'd been practicing with Roxas and you were all set?"

I groaned. "Yeah…but she wasn't exactly that specific about it…"

Tifa laughed, patting me on the shoulder. "It's okay, Riku. You'll do fine, plus—"

"Hey, Tifa, what's all this Van was saying about—"

The voice…it sounded familiar. I'd heard it before, but…

Oh.

_No fucking way. _

"Riku?"

My eyes widened when I turned around and saw him, standing there in all his spiky-haired glory.

"Sora?"

* * *

**ASDFGHJKL. **

**This chapter. This. Chapter. **

**WRITER'S BLOCK! I AM FIGHTING AGAINST IT WITH ALL MY MIGHT! **

**I have a Biochem test tomorrow…which I shall fail…BUT AT LEAST I'M ON SCHEDULE WITH THIS, RIGHT? Lol…I spent a whole day watching this anime called No6…it's beyond weird…and I'm not usually a shonen-ai fan…actually I'm not a shonen-ai fan at all…BUT THIS IS ALL BESIDES THE POINT. LIKE YOU GUYS CARE ABOUT MY LIFE. **

**Okay…sneek peek?**

* * *

"_Didn't expect to see you here."_

"…_there's something I need to tell you."_

"…_this is…an apology."_

"…_there's something you should know about her."_

* * *

**Will Riku and Sora have a huge bonding moment? Will Sora rip Riku's head off? Will Xehanort DESTROY Riku? WILL THE PLOT EVER PROGRESS? Only time will tell. **

**Sorry…some stuff included in the last sneek peek…shouldn't have been included…CAUSE THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN…but oh well. Deleted scenes rock. If you guys really want, I could create a whole nother story with just the several scenes I've deleted. WRITER'S BLOCK DOES THAT TO YOU. **

**I actually wrote a poem on writer's block. PM me if you're interested.**

**Word Count: 7,297.**

**Total Editing Time: 20 minutes (RECORD TIME).**

**R&R! REVIEWS ARE LIKE COOKIES—CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. SO, PLEASE, PELT ME WITH THEM COOKIES. **

**XXXX **


	27. Too Late

**A/N: …missed me? Sorry for those whose reviews I didn't reply to...I promise I'll reply to the next ones! My week...so freaking full...**

**About this chapter: Poor Riku. Honestly. The angst in this fic. Oh, and don't smoke. Smoking kills, people. Seriously. And dying is not sexy. **

**Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM ALL.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_I'm branded._

They'd given me a _tattoo_. If I ever got caught in one of Xehanort's schemes, I'd be identified as one of them.

_Kairi and I are still…_

My fists clenched on locks of my wet hair as I remembered what I'd done to her. I knew I couldn't go back. I couldn't face her. I couldn't face anyone, really.

_And I'm given a choice._

"I am going to give you a choice. You work for me until you're debt is paid, or I destroy you."

* * *

**Chapter 27: Too Late**

He looked different. Like, seriously different. And I'm not just talking about a growth spurt either.

Okay, so his hair wasn't exactly spiky. It was more windswept now, like Roxas'. He'd finally gotten a haircut, and it was styled professionally, making his face look more chiseled, if that was even possible. He'd gotten a tan as well, and he looked…well, not beefy muscular, but comfortably sturdy. Like the models in underwear commercials in Oblivion Magazine.

It was kind of intimidating.

So many things were going on in my head at that moment. Sora…what was he doing here? Had Kairi already told him about what happened? I half expected him to explode any second, and I braced myself for whatever was about to come my way.

We just stared at each other. He looked genuinely surprised I was there. I waited for his face to contort into a frown, and for him to start yelling at me, or something like that.

I honestly didn't expect him to smile at me.

Tifa broke the silence, giving Sora a confused glance. "You know Riku?"

"U-Um…" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "We go to school. And we're…sort of friends."

Tifa nodded, slowly glancing between the both of us. "Oh. That's weird."

She left momentarily to go take someone else's order, and Sora took a seat next to me. He gave me a half-smile. He smelt of expensive perfume. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"I could say the same for you." I tried to seem casual. I still couldn't believe Kairi hadn't told him…or maybe she had but he was waiting before he launched into a tirade. I didn't really know. I didn't exactly get why he was at Seventh Heaven, or how he knew Tifa.

"So…how do you know my stepmom?"

_Wait…what? _"Stepmom?" I didn't get it. I struggled to process this information. It did explain why he was here but… "Wh…the…what?"

"Hehe, well she's not actually my stepmom, but half-mom sounds too awkward…" He shrugged, resting his arms on the table.

Everything suddenly made sense. Sora was one of the half-sons she always referred to, though she usually called them her 'nephews', for the same reason Sora called her his stepmom. And if Sora was related to her, that meant Roxas…

God. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it sooner.

And Xion? Did that mean Sora and Roxas were related to Xion…?

It made my head hurt. I decided to give up and conclude that Sora's family was huge and leave it at that.

"I've known your buddy Riku here since he was a kid," Tifa said, filling another order. She raised an eyebrow at Sora. "What—he didn't tell you?"

"I didn't think I needed to," I explained. "I mean, if I'd known you two were related…"

"Oh, well this all works out, then. I was thinking of introducing you guys soon anyway."

Tifa left us to go take another order, leaving us two alone. I felt the air growing awkward, fast. I felt guilty just sitting next to him.

"Long time no see, huh?" Sora was in a particularly jovial mood. It became pretty obvious he had no idea what had happened to Kairi.

"Hm." I brought my glass to my lips, so I'd have an excuse not to talk. I couldn't bring myself not to comment on his drastic change in appearance. "You look…different."

He sheepishly wiped at his spiky fringe. "Um…yeah. I guess you could blame my idiot brother for that." He continued when he saw the expression on my face. "Yeah…he's the one who forced me to get a haircut, completely transformed my wardrobe, and made me work out more."

"You say it like it's a _bad _thing."

"That's cause it kind of is. I was totally fine with my old lifestyle." He shrugged. "Sorta."

I rolled my eyes at that before taking another gulp of my drink. We sat together in a sort-of-awkward silence for a while, before Sora broke it.

"So, uh…how's your break been?"

I took a long drink, trying to figure out how to answer that. I couldn't exactly tell him what was going on. I didn't want to drag him into my messed up life. It was bad enough that I'd told Kairi. "It's…it's been good." _Lie._

"Hm. Done anything worth telling me?"

"Not really. Just hung out with my friends and…stuff." _Complete lie. _

"Cool." He grinned, like he actually cared. "How's Kairi? I haven't seen her in weeks…"

I had no idea how to answer that. "She's—"

We were interrupted then, thankfully, by a dark-haired guy who joined us at the table. His hair was almost identical to Sora's previous hairstyle, and he looked like the kind of person who you'd see on Jersey Shore. What hit me the most about his appearance, though, was the color of his eyes. They were a glowing amber color, just like…

"It's time to rock the house, little—" He stopped immediately when he saw me, eyes narrowing, and immediately it crossed my mind that he might be somehow related to Xehanort, and that he knew about me, and who I was… "Wait…what're _you _doing here?"

My breath immediately hitched in my throat. My palms felt sweaty and I felt like I was about to throw up. I immediately brought my glass to my lips again, trying to give myself another excuse not to talk.

"This is Riku, the guy I told you about, the other guy who'll be singing tonight," Tifa explained, appearing out of seemingly nowhere once again. Apparently Tifa was chummy with this…guy. "He and Sora are apparently friends."

"No shit." The dark-haired guy was still glaring relentlessly at me, like he was struggling to hold himself back from punching me. He leaned closer to me, his eyes narrowing to slits. "What are you _really _here for, _Riku_?"

"Hey, Van, leave him alone," I heard Sora laugh, from a distance. "He's my friend now."

I was wondering how much Sora had told this guy about me to make him hate me so much when I remembered I used to throw Sora in the dumpster and steal his things and generally fuck up his life.

I suddenly remembered that day in Drama when Sora had told me a little about his family. Judging from the striking resemblance, he was obviously related to Sora…somehow. I remembered he'd told me he had a brother…so I decided to roll with that.

He was obviously irritated by my presence. I cleared my throat, deciding I'd better take my leave before he did anything drastic, like rip out my hair or something. "Um…well if it's really gonna be a problem I could—"

"No, Riku…" Sora protested, giving the guy—Van was his name, I guess—a glare. They seemed to have some kind of telepathic conversation before he gave in, sighing.

"Fine. We're getting ready to start, though, so you'd better hurry the fuck up."

"Sure thing."

He gave me one last hard glare—as if to say 'I'm watching you'—before turning on his heels and disappearing back into the crowd.

Sora gave me a nervous glance. "Excuse him, he's…"

"…your brother?" I finished off. It was kind of touching, to be honest. I'd never really been the sappy type, but the protective look he'd had in his eyes when he'd looked at Sora… "You're lucky, you know. To have a brother who sticks up for you like that."

"Sticks up for me?" He laughed. "Yeah. Right. You have no _idea _how much a douche he can be. Everyone else in my family thinks he's a waste of space, and, honestly, I can understand why."

"He seems okay to me."

He was better than my brothers at least—I had to give him that. I was pretty sure none of them gave a fuck about what happened to me.

Sora gave me an 'are you serious' look, and I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Sora shook his head. "Well, I guess we'd better get going…"

We slipped off our seats and headed into the crowd. Sora was obviously slightly lost, so I let him follow my lead. I'd been coming here for years, so I knew my way around, even in the dark. The smell of alcohol wafted through the air, and I felt several people press their bodies against mine as we pushed our way through.

We eventually made it 'backstage'—not that there really was a stage in the first place. Several guys I vaguely recognized were working with electrical wires and speakers. They passed us each individual mikes—one for me and one for Sora. Tifa had apparently just headed onto the 'stage'—the crowd had gone wild, the way they usually did whenever Tifa came on.

"Hey, everyone! Hope you're having a crazy night!" The crowd cheered, and she continued with a laugh. "I'm Tifa, as most of you should already know, and welcome to Friday Night! Today we've got something special planned, so don't go anywhere!"

To be honest, I was kind of excited to be performing. I'd always liked performing; being the center of attention was always my thing…but that wasn't exactly the reason this time around. I guess I just felt like it would help me take my mind off things.

I absently glanced at Sora, who was standing next to me, his fists clenched way too tightly around his guitar strap. His eyes had that same look they'd had when he'd finished his audition for the school play and realized everyone had been watching him. Even through the tan I could see the blood draining from his face.

Sora was nervous.

"You okay?" He nodded, but I wasn't buying it. I decided to ask the obvious. "You're nervous?"

He tried nodding again, but stopped, lowering his head. "I don't want to do this…"

"What?" I hissed incredulously. "You can't be serious."

"Well I am," he persisted. "I don't want to go up there on that stage and sing stupid party songs in front of a crowd of people I don't even know—"

"You never let that stop you before."

He looked at me, eyes widening a little. It was true—I'd seen how Sora was when he was determined, and it was intimidating, really.

I swallowed. "What do you mean…"

"Remember in the Drama auditions, for the school play? You were a whole lot nervous that you are now, and you still went for it. And look what came out of it." I gave him a smile. "We somehow ended up becoming friends."

He smiled, so I guess it was working. "True. But back then I was acting on impulse."

I was about to say something in protest, but Tifa had almost finished her introduction. We were running out of time…and I kind of needed Sora up there with me.

"Give it up for Sora and Riku!"

Suddenly, I had an idea. "Impulse, huh?"

Before he could say anything in protest, I pushed him onto the stage.

He let out a yelp, obviously surprised, as he stumbled onto the stage, and I followed suit. The crowd immediately broke into whistles as I took the stage, which wasn't that much of a surprise. Sora glanced at me, looking like he was about to pass out, and I gave him an encouraging smile.

He nodded, rubbing at his forehead, trying to calm himself down. I felt slightly bad for forcing him onto stage, but it was too late now. "Um…hey. I'm Sora…"

"…and I'm Riku," I finished for him, deciding to take over for him until he was comfortable enough. "And we're gonna be taking over for the DJ tonight."

I motioned for Sora to begin his song. He nodded, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He always did that when he was on stage, so I figured that helped deal with his nervousness or something. He seemed to relax, slowly strumming the first notes of the guitar. I wondered when he'd learned to play…then I remembered Roxas.

"You guys know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back, right?" He started walking, slowly making his way across the stage. "You've all probably met this one person—your soulmate, or whatever—who you swear you'd do _anything _for. Well…I met someone like that…and her name was Kairi."

_Shit_. I couldn't _believe_ him.

"When I was with her, I could barely think of anything else apart from how amazing she was, or how much I wanted to kiss her…seriously, in my eyes she did nothing wrong." He chuckled, still strumming the guitar. "But I eventually came to realize that, no, she wasn't perfect, and that she did make mistakes, and that I was just so _love drunk _to see it."

He turned to the crowd with a blinding grin, and I figured he was finally about to start the song. "So that's what my first song is gonna be about. This is _Love Drunk_."

* * *

Sora…he was just…wow.

His voice seemed to be even stronger. He reached all the right notes, he never seemed to lose breath, and he left me in the dust. Eventually it became pretty obvious that all I was there for was to be the guy singing the echoes, singing in the background, while everyone kept their attention trained on him.

He had amazing stage presence. He became a completely different person—suddenly he was confident, witty, and all-round likeable. He had the crowd on his fingertips, as he shared his story with everyone there.

I suddenly felt strangely guilty, standing on stage next to him, when I was that guy. The guy who'd taken her away from him. And the way he was talking about her, and smiling when he said it…it was like I was seeing a side of Sora I'd never seen before.

We launched straight from the first song into the second one—a break-up song, to be more precise. It was pretty weird, since Sora and Kairi had never actually been legit dating, but…well. No one really needed to know that.

It worked. It was an excellent crowd-pleaser—it got everyone on their feet, everyone dancing and whooping and cheering. Everyone seemed to have their own 'Annabelle' somewhere in their own private lives. And for a whole three minutes and fifteen seconds, I got to pretend I did, too.

After that song, though, we had to drop the guitars, since neither of us knew the chords for any other song. I got to take a lead in a bunch of them, mostly because party songs were more 'my type of music', according to Sora.

After about thirty minutes of nonstop singing, we finally needed to take a break. The crowd was not amused, but I managed to get them to calm down by saying we were going to be back after a few drinks. They took my word for it.

Sora wiped his damp forehead with the back of his hand as we headed off the stage. "Wow…that really takes a lot out of you."

I slipped off the coat I'd pulled on before taking the stage. I was sweating like hell, and there were huge dark patches underneath my arms. "Ugh…I need to change this shirt…"

Tifa was clapping for us when we arrived at the bar—after pushing through throngs of partiers. "Well, well, well. That was quite a show."

Sora raised an eyebrow at her. "Thanks…and thanks for not telling me in advance."

"Oops. Sorry about that."

I was about to ask for a drink when we were interrupted by an all-too-familiar high-pitched yell.

"Riku-kuuuuun~!"

Xion slammed into my chest, crushing me in a hug. I patted her head in salute, awkwardly trying to get her to lessen her grip. "Hey, Xi-chan."

She beamed up at me, seemingly glowing. She was in her natural look yet again; her cropped black hair was in its usual style, she'd put a lot more makeup on, and she was wearing a tiny black dress that made her look a lot older than fifteen. I was about to comment on that when Sora spoke up again.

"Riku-kun? _Xi-chan_?" He looked confused, and slightly disgusted. "…what the hell?"

Xion decided to explain. "Yeh…I've known Riku for a while now…he's almost like my best friend."

"I thought I was your best friend." Roxas seemingly appeared out of nowhere, looking slightly miffed. I'd figured he'd be here, but I'd always been freaked out by Roxas, so his random appearance made me jump a little.

Apparently he was just kidding, though Xion seemed to be the only one who got the joke. She kissed him on the cheek, which confused me, since I'd figured they were related, and I'd seen Roxas with that blonde chick who was Kairi's sister (…I couldn't remember her name), and…whatever.

"…you guys were pretty good," Roxas said finally.

"Thanks." I patted him on the shoulder. "And it was all thanks to you."

Roxas obviously didn't like that gesture, glaring at my hand like I was poisonous or something, so I immediately pulled my hand away. Xion nudged him, frowning. "Quit being a jerk, Roku."

Drinks came then, thankfully. We all got a glass, even though half of us were underage. Xion was obviously used to drinking, downing her drink professionally, like she'd been doing it for years. She scrunched her face up as it got to her head, and then she let out a tiny burp.

For some reason that made me burst out laughing.

I was still chuckling when Van arrived, looking slightly buzzed, though I wasn't sure whether he was always like that or if it was just part of his personality. "My brudda from anudda mudda! That was some serious shit, man!"

Sora grinned. "I was that good, huh?"

"You've got a hella lot of admirers, no joke." He turned to me then, and I willed myself not to flinch. "And I'm talking about the both of you. I mean, _you_ were on _fire_!"

I felt my face heat up at the compliment, though I wasn't sure why. He patted me on the head…and I realized how _nice _it felt.

I stole another glass from the tray and downed another drink.

* * *

"_I know_

_That you_

_Are something special…_"

The night dragged on. A bunch of girls had dragged Roxas to the stage to sing some song they requested, and Vanitas had disappeared to 'hunt down some pussy' or something, so Sora and I got some more time to relax.

The silence took over for the conversation. We didn't really have much to talk about, and it didn't matter. It just felt…nice.

Well, there was the guilt that was slowly wringing at my insides, but the drinks sort of helped mellow that down.

I didn't think it was possible for a club to be so peaceful. Everyone seemed mesmerized by Roxas' voice. He was a good singer, I had to give him that. And Xion was sort of charming too, and since she was standing on stage with him, they all had something to stare at.

I glanced at Sora, who was slowly taking a sip of his drink. I was on my third glass, and Sora had barely finished his first. I figured he wasn't really the partying type. He gave me a small smile, and that guilty feeling got even stronger.

Sora had been too nice to me, honestly. It was like he'd truly forgiven me for 'winning' Kairi. After all, in the beginning it _had _been a competition. Before it became so much more than that.

Suddenly I remembered the conversation on the beach, when I'd promised never to hurt her. That damn conversation that had been replaying over and over in my mind ever since the moment I hit her.

Kairi…she hadn't told him. Call it a stroke of luck, I don't know. I knew someone up there had given me a chance, to tell him myself. Because I knew if he found it out from her, he'd never forgive me. Ever. I knew how much she meant to him.

"Sora…there's something I need to tell you."

"Hit me."

My throat felt increasingly dry, all of a sudden. "…it's about Kairi." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm—"

He shook his head, cutting me off before I could continue. "It's okay, Riku. You don't need to apologize about it…I'm over her." He paused, smiling. "Okay, so maybe I'm not, but if she's happy, then I'm happy."

I couldn't believe him. I didn't know how he did it. Go on living when he knew the girl he was in love with was taken. I wished I could act like she wasn't everything and that I could live without her, and sing revenge songs and get some kind of wicked makeover and magically forget how every passing second spent without her was killing me inside.

But I couldn't. I just…

I might have blurted everything out right there. It was too much. It was like there was this huge weight on my shoulders. I honestly might have confessed, if we weren't interrupted.

It was this blonde guy. Spiky hair, high collar sleeveless shirt that obviously cost a fortune, thick black pants and boots. He was obviously related to Sora; they had the same nose. Half the girls in the club were staring at him.

He looked like a legit model.

"Hey." He slipped in next to Sora, looking me up and down before coming to a conclusion. "You must be Riku."

"Yup, this is him," Tifa confirmed, appearing from seemingly nowhere with a tray of empty glasses. "Riku, this is Cloud. My husband."

"And my Dad," Sora finished.

It took a while for this to register. I vaguely remembered Sora telling me something about his parents being divorced…and Tifa being married…and having a son…which was probably Van, since he was Sora's halfbrother…

Whatever. I'd stopped caring.

I stretched out my hand to greet him. I remembered his name. Tifa talked about him every chance she got. I wasn't sure how to act around him. He was the ex-SOLDIER she'd always went on about. The guy who'd 'been through a lot'. Her 'high-school crush'. It kind of made sense. He didn't look his age. I wondered if it was the drug all the SOLDIERS got. I'd heard some rumors.

I cleared my throat. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.…Cloud."

His smile was blinding. It hurt just to look at him. "No need to be so formal with me." He shook my hand anyway. I had a feeling it would take him hardly any effort to break my spine. "Tifa wasn't kidding—you're eyes really are unique."

I didn't really know how to answer that, but thankfully I didn't have to. Cloud obviously had a ton of admirers. I had a feeling I'd seen one or two of them at the Shack once or twice.

"Sing a song for us, please?" One of them pleaded. The rest of them seemed to agree with her, murmuring along with her with beseeching eyes. Cloud looked like he was trying hard not to yell at them. It was sort of amusing. I wondered if I looked like that in school.

Tifa seemed totally cool with the idea, joining in with them. "Come on, Cloud. Let's give them what they want."

He groaned, but obliged anyway, and the groupies broke into cheers. Roxas' performance had barely come to an end when they pushed Cloud onto the stage, though Roxas seemed more than happy to leave.

The crowd cheered as he and Tifa took the stage, Cloud with a guitar in arm. _Of course he can play guitar. _He adjusted the microphone so that it was right in front of his lips when he sang before clearing his throat and grabbing everyone's attention. He sighed. "Well…since you _begged_, I guess."

They started singing. It was apparently a very familiar song, cause some in the audience started mouthing the words along with them. It was kind of moving; they really seemed to be in love. Whenever he looked at her, it was like he never wanted to look away. I wondered if I looked at Kairi like that. I was pretty sure I did.

I took another shot, feeling it burn the back of my throat, trying to distract myself. I was probably on my tenth glass now, or something. I wasn't sure. I was starting to lose count.

It was then that I noticed how off Sora looked. Something was bothering him. He was gripping the sides of his empty glass like it'd run away if he let go. Naturally, I decided to ask what was wrong. "Sora?"

He tensed, looking like he was about to suffocate. "I…I need some air…"

He disappeared into the crowd before I could stop him.

* * *

Cloud and Tifa finished their song not too long after he'd left. Xion came and joined me, claiming Roxas had run off as well.

"Anything I should know…?" I asked, slightly curious. "About…their relationship. Or whatever."

Xion hesitated, before eventually sighing. "Yeah…Uncle Cloud and Sora's Mom…" She made a face. "They're not…"

"They got divorced?"

She nodded. "How'd you know?"

"I just…figured."

She shrugged, absently playing with her bracelets. "Well…yeah. Roxas…he took the divorce the hardest. I was only five when it all happened and I didn't meet him until two years later…"

I noticed the way her eyes got soft whenever she talked about Roxas. I cleared my throat. "Um…you and Roxas are cousins, right?"

Xion nodded fervently, before she stopped suddenly, as if realizing something. And then she smirked. "What—you think I'm in _love _with him?"

"No," I lied.

She giggled, poking my cheek. If it were anyone else, I might have suspected she was flirting with me, but this…this was _Xion_. I took another gulp, trying to hide the fact that I was kind of embarrassed.

She brushed at her fringe. "No…Roxas and I, we're just really close. He's…he's the only one who really understands me, you know?"

She seemed like she was about to go on, but she shook her head at the last minute, taking my hand. "Come on; don't want to keep the crowd waiting!"

She pulled me onto the stage, grabbing a microphone and calling everyone to attention. "Hi, it's me again! Um…Sora's stepped out for a little bit, so Riku's gonna keep you entertained until he gets back."

She passed me the mike, urging me to continue. "Um…right." I motioned for one of the sound guys to pull up the piano for Xion, and Xion seemed to catch on. "This songs going to be a little different…it's not a party song either, so don't get your hopes up." A few in the crowd groaned, but I took no notice. I didn't really care if they didn't like it…I just felt like I needed to sing. I took a seat on the bench next to Xion. "I made a mistake. And this…this is…an apology."

* * *

"…_I'm staring at the mess I made_

_As you turn_

_You take your heart and walk away…_"

I wasn't sure if it was just me being a melodramatic loser, but honestly…at that time, it felt like I'd _become _the song. For a second it was like I wasn't singing in front of a crowd of drunken partygoers, and it was just me and the song…if that made any sense.

To put it simply, it was probably one of the most emotional performances I'd ever given, and everyone cheered when I was done. Sora came back almost immediately after I'd finished, and Xion pulled him onto stage to sing a song with her.

He'd apparently come prepared, and Xion seemed to immediately recognize the song he was going to sing. I decided to go and take a seat while waiting.

"…um…well, there's always this part of a relationship where you realize something: maybe you're just not meant to be together. Well…I think it's about time I realized that about Kairi, don't you agree?"

I stared at him as he began singing. It was a ballad about a resolution, about letting go of someone you loved, because you know what's better for them. The lyrics were poignant and uncannily fitting for my situation. Or his situation. I didn't really know.

The thing was, I didn't really know if I _wanted _to let go of Kairi. I knew Sora was undoubtedly better for her, now that I was being manipulated by Xehanort, but that didn't mean I wasn't still in love with her. I felt like she was, honestly, the only good thing I had going for me.

Sora seemed to have everything. He had friends who liked him for who he was—not just for what he had, or what he could do for them, or because they were scared of what would happen if they weren't. He had _Kairi_. And he had a family—a real family—with a mother, and a father, and a brother, and Xion as a sort-of sister, and Tifa as a sort-of second-Mom, and a big brother who cared about him…

I didn't have any of that, and it was partially Sora's fault I didn't have Kairi anymore. I should have hated him. Really.

But I couldn't. It had become impossible for me to hate Sora.

And it pissed me off. I wanted to hate him. It would be so much easier for me that way.

* * *

After the two relatively boring songs, we decided to get back to singing party songs, to 'pump up the crowd a little', as Sora put it. We sang for about one more hour before giving the DJ back his job for the night.

Sora seemed to glow. I wasn't sure what it was. His Dad said it was because he'd finally learned to move on. It wasn't that he wasn't an attractive person or anything, but…I don't know. That night, he just seemed a lot more radiant than usual.

I only wished I had the ability to get smashed as quickly as Sora did. He'd barely had five drinks and he was already drunk. Van and I had to follow him around to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, like accidentally lose his virginity or something like that. Sora had a lot of admirers, apparently.

Sora was one of those crazy drunks. He spent the first few minutes dancing with pretty much everyone in the crowd, and then he went around giving everyone a kiss on the cheek, and then he almost got dragged off by a stripper and her friend. Van took it on himself to record everything that happened, mumbling something about using it for blackmail.

He decided he wanted to sing a few more songs, and I couldn't stop him. He was way too fast, and if anything the crowd was getting thicker.

He actually seemed to remember the lyrics, even in his state, and he got the crowd cheering him on. I wondered if anyone realized how drunk he was, or if they were just too drunk to realize.

I'd had about ten drinks, and my head was starting to spin, but I still had a grip on my sanity. I was still pushing through the crowd when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around, and had to stifle a gasp.

It was Fang.

I immediately started to panic. What was she doing here? How did she…how long had she been here? Was she here with anyone else? Was Kairi…?

"Weird meeting you here, Riku!" She seemed to be smiling, though it was hard to see. "Wanna dance?"

I was about to shake my head when she interrupted me. "Don't worry—I'm the only one here!"

I hesitated for a second, before I decided a little dancing couldn't hurt.

* * *

Before I knew it we'd danced through ten songs, and Sora had disappeared from the stage.

"Shit…" I cursed. "Um…really sorry but I've gotta…"

"It's okay." Fang shrugged. "And thanks for the dance anyway. See you around?"

I nodded, feeling slightly awkward. It seemed like ages since I'd talked to her…and I'd always remembered her being a bit of a mega-bitch—even after we'd settled our differences—so it was weird seeing her acting all _nice_ for once.

She disappeared into the crowd, finding another guy to dance with, and I decided to go and search for Sora. I found him sitting around a table at the back between several girls, playing a drinking game I assumed to be a mix of _Never Have I Ever_, _Strip Poker_ and _Spin The Bottle_.

Most of them were half-naked, and Sora was in nothing but his underwear, so I decided to save him before it was too late.

"Riku~!" Sora whooped, forgetting he had a drink in his hand and spilling it on the girl next to him. She yelped in protest, but she was obviously shitfaced as well because she burst out laughing…which just ended up making Sora and the rest of the girls do the same thing.

"Sora…we gotta go home now," I explained—well, more like yelled, since the music was so loud.

"Home? But we're playing spin the bottle have I ever poker…strip…" Sora frowned, and then he just started laughing again. "What am I saying?"

"I-I don't know!" The girl next to him started laughing even harder.

"Seriously. NOW."

"Fine…" Sora muttered, trying to get to his feet.

The girls started to whine.

"You ruin everything," one of them complained.

I ignored them and picked up his clothes before motioning for Sora to follow me. I had almost made it to the door when I realized he wasn't following me, and when I got back to the table he wasn't there.

I swore, about ready to rip out my hair. "Where the hell did he go?"

The girls said they didn't know, and I immediately feared the worst.

After searching in vain for about ten minutes, I managed to find him liplocked with this random girl in the kitchen.

After a lot of pulling and scratching, I managed to separate them. I glared at the girl, who was obviously not drunk. "What the hell?"

She shrugged, smirking impishly. "What? He's in his underwear. I saw an opportunity, and I took it."

I gave her a disgusted look, and threw Sora his shirt and jeans. He looked slightly dazed, but remained silent. "Put this on, we're leaving."

The girl gave me a weird look. "What? Is he your boyfriend or something?"

I decided not to answer; there really wasn't any point. It was better she thought that anyway.

I decided to hold his wrist so he wouldn't run off anywhere, and went to look for Vanitas. I found him and Xion by the bar, and informed them of Sora's situation.

"Wow, he really is wasted, huh?" He waved his hand in front of Sora's face. "He can't even see straight."

Sora grinned goofily at me. "You have really pretty eyes, Riku."

I sighed. "Yeah. Yeah he is."

Xion let out a loud yawn, rubbing her eyes. "I'm tired."

Van chuckled. "Well. I've got enough blackmail material, so we can go now."

I nodded, handing Sora over to Van. "Well…I'll see you guys around, I guess."

Van seemed to be debating something over in his head. "Mmm…you know what? Why don't you crash over at our place for the night?"

"What?"

"I'm serious. You helped take care of this kid for the night, and he seems to really like you, so…yeah."

"No, I can't—"

"No, I insist." He tapped my forehead. "You're drunk; Tifa's never gonna let you leave the club like this. She's gonna kill me if she finds out I left you here."

I realized there was no way out and, plus, I was kind of tired. And even if I didn't feel like it, I was pretty buzzed. "Fine."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

Sora spent the whole car ride home singing Ke$ha songs with the three girls Vanitas brought along. Xion had to squish in the front seat with me while the rest stayed in the back. I only realized Vanitas was also drunk when we'd all gotten in the car and he'd started driving and it was too late to back out. Call me paranoid, but I kept expecting a police car to pop up out of nowhere, arresting us all for driving under influence.

We got home safely, though Van almost slammed the car into a tree. I assumed it was Tifa and Cloud's house, and I was right. The house was a simple but obviously expensive, and classy. Cloud Strife, former war veteran classy. I wondered how Sora felt, having someone as cool as him as his Dad.

The foyer was decorated with pictures, most of them of him and Tifa, though a few of them had Sora and Roxas in them. Vanitas was in none of them.

Xion seemed to know her way around, because she disappeared upstairs, probably going off to bed. Van led us up to the room we were going to stay in, saying he and the girls would stay downstairs. He told me to call him if I needed anything, before leaving Sora and I alone.

I ripped off my sweat-soaked shirt, used to sleeping shirtless anyway. I tied the bandage tighter around my forearm, yawning. All that dancing and chasing Sora around really got to me.

Sora was jumping on the bed. "Come on!…Riku!…you've gotta…try this!"

"Sora, we need to go to sleep."

He groaned but complied, but not before pulling me down next to him. I tried not to think about how awkward the situation was.

"You're a nice person, Riku. Nice friend. Nice nice nice."

"Good. Go to sleep."

"…hmm. Kairi's nice. You're nice. You're both nice."

My body stiffened at the mention of her name. God. Every time I tried to forget…

"Go to sleep, Sora."

"…take care of her…"

The room went silent. Sora started to snore softly, and I assumed he'd gone to sleep.

I slipped my hand out of his, sighing. This was it. Sora was going to find out eventually, and this was pretty much the last time I was going to be able to speak to him like this.

I was going to have to head back the next morning. They'd all probably be wondering where I was. I'd switched off my phone before going into Seventh Heaven, and I'd probably gotten loads of calls. They were all probably searching for me. Being here…it was so wrong.

Sora was so damn lucky.

"Sora…" I heaved a sigh, getting ready to go to sleep. "I'm sorry…for everything."

He said nothing in reply. He was long gone.

* * *

…**sorry for the late update. This is at least one week late, right? Of course it is…I thought my Mardi Gras break would be free, but it turns out it wasn't. I was booked for every single day. I did pretty much all of this chapter today. Meh.**

…**I also partially blame this late update on One Direction, for being so damn beautiful and time-consuming. VERIFIED DIRECTIONER RIGHT HURR. **

**Sneak Peek:**

* * *

"…_there's something you should know about her."_

"_Riku…"_

"_This is exactly what I was afraid of…"_

"_I'm trying to help you!" _

"_I've made my decision."_

* * *

**Songs? Sora: **_Love Drunk_** by BoysLikeGirls, **_Annabelle _**by A Rocket To The Moon, **_Resolution _**by Nick Lachey, **_Feel Again _**by Taio Cruz (as random party song). Riku: **_The Mess I Made _**by Parachute. Roxas: **_Beautiful Soul _**by Jesse McCartney (acoustic). Tifa & Cloud: **_I Need You _**by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill. And then there's the average party songs from singers like Taio Cruz, Lady Gaga, Snoop Dogg, Enrique (particularly **_Tonight I'm (Lovin') You_** lol), Kesha, Rihanna…you name it. I'll leave that to your imagination. **

**Read, review! And most of all, enjoy! Catch you guys next time!**

**Word Count: 7,626**

**XXX **


	28. Apologize

**A/N: End of the school year barely a month away…ONLY I'M GONNA HAVE TO SPEND IT IN SUMMER SCHOOL. DO YOU NOT SEE HOW MUCH MY LIFE SUCKS. **

**Replies:**

**Anony: Not discontinuing. NEVUURRR. I've had a busy month lol. **

**Serah: YES, YES I AM. ENJOY. **

**superpeanutbutter: If Riku seemed mature in that chapter...just wait until the next chapter. He's gotta lotta maturing to do. Haha this isn't a yaoi, there's gonna be some awkward situations but no...you know. Gay sex or anything like that. *shudder* **

**...I should really reply to you guys AS SOON AS I get the reviews...because honestly I keep forgetting and asdfghjkl.**

**About this chappie: It's not long. Strictly T for drug use and sexual themes. From here on out, it'll get a lot darker. OH AND THERE'S KIND OF A SPOILER AT THE END OF THE CHAPPIE FOR THOSE WHO READ ADDICTED…SORRY.**

**Disclaimer: HAHAAHAHAHHAA…no. Unfortunately. OMFG NOMURA HURRY UP WITH KH3D IT'S KILLING ME HERE.**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

_Everyone's related to everyone. _

Sora was one of the half-sons she always referred to, though she usually called them her 'nephews', for the same reason Sora called her his stepmom. And if Sora was related to her, that meant Roxas…and Xion…?

_I spend a night out partying._

I only wished I had the ability to get smashed as quickly as Sora did. He'd barely had five drinks and he was already drunk.

_And I feel guiltier and guiltier._

"It's okay, Riku. You don't need to apologize about it…if she's happy, then I'm happy."

_And I miss her so much. I don't want to forget about her. I need her to forgive me._

* * *

**Chapter 28: Apologize**

I woke up with a pretty bad headache. Even though I hardly ever got completely wasted, I still managed to feel the effects of overdrinking. My eyes hurt, my mouth tasted like shit, and on top of that the bruise on my arm seemed to hurt even more.

I groaned, placing a cool hand on my forehead, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the light and trying to remember what happened the previous night…

I was interrupted from my thought process by high-pitched giggles, and I froze, trying to remember if I'd brought girls over last night or something.

I started, sitting up abruptly in the bed, my eyes flitting around the room before finally landing on the three girls. Two out of the three were dark-haired while the third was a brunette, and one of them was wearing an oversized t-shirt while the other two were wearing next to nothing.

I stared at them, trying to figure out who the hell they were and why they were in my bed.

Then I realized that I wasn't in my bed, and that this wasn't my room, and it wasn't in my new apartment either…

Oh. Right. I'd been at Seventh Heaven the previous night.

"Oh, he's awake…" The blonde one giggled, twirling a stick of what seemed to be eyeliner between her fingers. "Bummer."

The other two giggled, and my eyes fell on the guy next to me.

Sora.

They'd scribbled all over his cheek with the eyeliner, and if I hadn't woken up earlier they probably would have done more. He was still fast asleep and drooling, and I felt sort of embarrassed for the guy.

I ordered the girls out of the room, and they complied begrudgingly, not that I gave a shit. I waited for them to leave the room before turning back to Sora. He was fast asleep, and his shirt was stained with what seemed to be dried puke. Memories from the previous night came flitting back, and I remembered Van had offered to let me sleepover…and that if I didn't leave ASAP I'd have a lot of explaining to do when I got back to the apartment.

I sighed, deciding to do something about my splitting headache first, because if I didn't get rid of it I wouldn't be able to do anything productive. I quietly slipped out of the room, being careful not to wake Sora up. I honestly didn't want to have to deal with him.

I struggled to remember my way around the house, but thankfully I could hear the girls giggling and the sound of the TV from all the way upstairs, so I used that as a guide. I found my way to the foyer and into the living room.

He was in the kitchen, smoking along with Roxas, who was also there. They both looked like they'd barely woken up, though Van seemed to have handled it a lot better. Roxas looked pissed at the world, glowering at me as soon as his eyes met mine.

"My man Riku!" He walked over to me and gave me a friendly shake of the shoulder. "What's Gucci ma nigga? Have a rough night?"

I shrugged. "Mm." I glanced over at Roxas and gave him a little nod, but all he did was scowl and head out of the room. I sighed. "He really doesn't like me, does he?"

"Meh, it's nothing personal; he gets like this whenever he has a hangover, no big deal." He patted me on the back before heading to one of the sleek white cupboards and passing me a bottle of aspirin. "There's a dispenser over there; help yourself."

I muttered a thanks and did as I was told. I could feel him watching me.

"So…how long have you and Sora been friends, exactly?"

I stiffened slightly. Of course he'd want to know about Sora. I'd been hoping I'd be able to hurry up and leave before he asked me any questions, but…oh well. "Since…uh we kind of…" I drained my glass to stall for time. "We've been friends for a while."

"Hm. Vague." Van took another drag of his cigarette and used his free hand to tousle his spikes. "Care to elaborate?"

"There's not that much else to it," I lied.

He wasn't convinced. "Come on. There has to be a reason you suddenly decided to stop being an asshole and become pals with him." He frowned. "You sure this doesn't have anything to do with Kairi?"

My stomach lurched at the mention of her name. Of course he knew about Kairi. Of course Sora'd told him about her. "No it…it doesn't."

"Kairi's totally bang tidy, I'm not gonna lie," he chuckled, giving me a knowing look. "If it wasn't illegal..."

"Shut up," I heard myself say before I could stop myself. "Don't…"

Van burst out laughing. "Whoa, chill out man. I was just messin' with ya." He patted me on the head. He was really starting to piss me off. "The best girls are always taken." I might have almost figured out there was some kind of underlying sentiment behind it had he not immediately changed the subject afterwards. His expression suddenly turned serious. "So…tell me more about you and Sora. I hear you've been fucking up his life since you were little tit-suckers, am I right or am I right?"

"…well I—"

"You've been breaking into his locker, stealing his things, shoving his head down the toilet—totally unoriginal by the way, if you want to bully at least be original, sheesh—spitballing him, paintballing him, fucking up his life…" He chuckled darkly. "You even broke his leg once, remember that? He never told me, he never told anyone, but when he came back with his fucking leg all fucked up saying he'd had a bike accident, I knew it was you. I mean, he doesn't even know how to ride a fucking bike. Never has. He honestly thinks I'm stupid enough to believe that."

"…" I vaguely remembered that incident. It had probably happened, though. I'd done a lot of stupid things to Sora...even before the cafeteria incident. He'd always kind of been 'the weird kid'. After the incident in freshman year, all it did was get a whole lot worse.

"The thing that pisses me off is even though you've treated him like absolute shit for the past—what—_decade_, he's totally welcome to you two becoming friends. Like, what the actual fuck. I don't even…" He exhaled sharply, taking another drag to calm himself down. "When he said you were his friend…I honestly didn't get it. Then I realized—he forgives people too easily. I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, honestly. He looks at you like he honestly, genuinely cares for you; if it was me and you'd asked to be my friend I'd be like 'well fuck you asshole'.

"But he's all for forgiveness, he doesn't give a fuck; I bet even if you'd told him you'd killed his mom, slept with his girlfriend, eaten his puppy, he'd still accept your sorry. He just too fucking nice and it kills me when assholes like _you_—"

"Look, the reason I decided to become friends with him is because of just that. How _nice _he is." Van's lips clamped shut into a thin line as I continued. "He forgave me just like that, without asking anything else in return. I blindly bullied him like nothing he felt even mattered, and on top of that stole the girl he liked right from in front of him, and he just…he said he was happy for me. I don't know how he does it, honestly, but I only _wish _I could be as nice as him. I wanted to be his friend because when I tell him something, he actually seems to care about what I have to say. He's not just some fake who's probably going to forget about me after high school; he actually seems like the kind of person who I'll be friends until the day I die, the kind of friend who'd actually show up at my fucking funeral, who'll bail me out if I end up in jail—"

I stopped myself abruptly. I was getting way too emotional about this. I needed to steer the conversation back in the right direction again.

I took a deep breath. "Look, all I'm trying to say is, I genuinely care for Sora as a friend, not just as a gateway to his best friend or anything. He's one of the only people who cares about me right now; I don't fucking care what you think about me, but don't ever say that I don't give a shit about him when I obviously do."

Van stared at me, his expression unreadable. He took a final drag before tossing his finished cigarette out the window. "Whatever." He pointed to the aspirin bottle in my hand. "Take some up to Sora; he's going to fucking need it on his first hangover."

And with that, he disappeared into the living room.

* * *

Sora was still asleep when I got upstairs, which was a relief. I set the aspirin and glass of water down on a nearby table and stretched my arms. The tattoo on my arm still ached, a cold reminder of the fact that I still wasn't safe, even if I had spent the night in a proper bed. They were all most likely looking for me, trying to track me down.

I knew I had to get out of there before they found me, before they hurt anyone else. Just my being there was a risk in itself. If they found me and Sora tried to defend me, which he probably would…

I didn't realize I was staring at Sora until he started to fidget, seemingly coming to. His eyes cracked open and he coughed and groaned, probably feeling the aftereffects just now. He squirmed uncomfortably, and I tightened the bandage around my forearm subconsciously. "You awake?"

He groaned. "Riku?"

"Hm?"

"Why does it feel like someone poured an ashtray in my mouth?"

I rolled my eyes at that. "It's called a hangover."

Sora grimaced. "I'm _never _drinking again…" He propped himself up on his elbows, the sunlight streaming through the windows making him squint.

I passed him the aspirin. "It helps."

He mumbled a thanks, giving me a tiny smile.

I decided to hurry the fuck up and get out of there.

I took the fastest shower I'd taken in a while and rummaged through one of the wardrobes for clothes. I assumed they belonged to Sora's brother, but I was in too much of a hurry to care. I'd lost my shirt and I couldn't exactly walk around town in my boxers.

I gave my hair a quick blow-dry and took one last look at my reflection in the mirror.

I looked like any other wealthy eighteen-year-old guy on the Islands. No one would guess my Dad was a freaking psychopath, or that I was now technically homeless, or that one of the biggest criminals in the region was after my head.

I had so much shit going on in my life I didn't even blame Kairi for choosing Sora over me.

I headed downstairs. Vanitas was in the kitchen again, with Roxas and Sora. Sora was wide awake now. Van raised an eyebrow when he saw me. "You mind if I borrow these?"

He shrugged, nonchalant. "No problem, man. And don't bother returning them."

Sora seemed pretty bummed. "Wait—you're leaving already?"

"Yeah…" I sighed. "I'm late already as it is."

"Late for what?"

I shook my head, hoping he'd assume it was trivial. I honestly didn't feel like cooking up a lie.

"Um…okay." He was trying really hard not to look disappointed. He gave me one of his stupid smiles. "See you on Monday, then?"

"Yeah." If he didn't hate me by then. If I was still alive by then. So much depended. "Monday…"

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I took the next bus. I honestly considered leaving the Island, but then I remembered that Xehanort had people everywhere and I'd probably be killed before I got there. I knew they'd all be pissed as hell when I got back. I'd disappeared for a whole night without telling them where I'd gone.

I decided to stop at the Seventh Heaven for a bit. I mean, I couldn't get in anymore trouble than I already was.

Tifa was there, but I couldn't find Xion.

"She'll be here soon; she just went to pick up a few things for me." She gave me a warm smile. "Drink?"

"Nah, I'm good."

Tifa simpered. "You rocked it out there yesterday. I was impressed."

"Thanks."

"And you and Sora…had no idea you guys were friends already. Pleasant surprise."

"Hn."

"…you okay, Riku?" Tifa frowned. "Something on your mind?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm just…" I sighed. "…had the worst hangover this morning and…"

"Mm yeah, sorry about that. Probably shouldn't have given you that much…you're only barely legal after all." She winked. "Though kids these days end up doing everything before they turn eighteen anyway."

I chuckled at that. I leaned on the base of my palm. "How long have you been here?"

"Coupla hours." She shrugged. "The last drunk left at around three a.m.; I came at around seven to clean up all the mess. This is my job; can't really complain can I?"

I shrugged.

Tifa grinned. "How'd you like Cloud? Hope he didn't act like too much of a Moody McMoodypants…he does that sometimes…"

"Nah, he was cool. He's got wicked hair."

"Typical Riku, going straight for the hair."

"You know it. You can tell so much about someone by just their hairstyle."

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? What does my hair say about me then?"

I pretended to think about it. "Well it depends if you straighten your hair or if it's naturally straight. I mean, if it's naturally straight it means you're a generally laid-back person who cares more for personality than looks. If it's professionally straightened then you're probably under the superficial bitch category."

"…you do know you just called more than half of the female population superficial bitches."

"I know."

"Xion would kill you if she heard you say that."

I laughed. "Yeah. I don't find that hard to believe, to be honest."

Tifa wiped her hands on the dishcloth. "You and Xion seem to have gotten a bit smitten with each other."

I shrugged. "Yeah. She's a nice kid. A bit unpredictable sometimes, but…" I let her finish off the sentence herself.

"Hm. Unpredictable." Tifa nodded. "That's the word."

Something in her voice told me there was more to her words. "What…did I say something…?"

She searched me with her eyes, looking for some indication or whatever, before sighing. "Look…I promised her I wouldn't tell you but…there's something you need to know about her."

I was immediately intrigued, but the look on her face made me feel unsure. "What?"

"She…" Tifa sighed. "Xion has Bipolar II."

I stared at her.

No. Fucking. Way.

"Bipolar II?" I choked. "What…?"

"It's a mental disorder," she explained. "Mood swings. Random episodes. She can go from being the happiest girl on the planet one second to a screaming mess the next…you know."

Suddenly I remembered little things she did that I'd totally overlooked before. Like how she'd sometimes snap at me for no reason, or suddenly stop smiling altogether, and better yet be so happy sometimes it was almost unnatural. How she always had to take her 'drugs' and how she'd space out whenever she'd play the piano…

"It's not as serious as Bipolar I but I still have to watch what I saw half the time…" She shrugged. "She's just fifteen after all. She can take things a bit too seriously on occasion…"

I started feeling slightly guilty. "Why are you telling me this if you she didn't want me to know?"

"I just thought—"

She stopped herself as we were interrupted by Xion, who came in with a bag of groceries. Her hair was red today and she'd put in contacts so her eyes now looked a maroonish-brown. She grinned when she saw me. "Riku! You're here…AWESOME!" She tossed Tifa the groceries and pulled me off my seat. "Come see how far I've gotten on your song!"

I obeyed. Tifa disappeared into the kitchen and Xion motioned for me to sit next to her.

"Interesting outfit," I commented. "Red hair suits you."

"I'm cosplaying as Riku Harada, from DN Angel. I thought it was pretty funny."

My manhood was slightly insulted by the fact that I shared a name with a female anime character.

Xion chewed on the inside of her cheek. "It's still not done, but I'm getting somewhere." She began to play the somber tune again, humming slightly under her breath. It was slightly relaxing, though it did make me feel increasingly depressed.

The tune repeated itself, almost as if going in circles, getting faster and faster before taking an abrupt pause. The song then continued from where she'd left off; soft, muted notes…it most likely represented innocence. It was soothing and it made me want to close my eyes and never open them ever again.

I was understandably disappointed when she stopped playing.

"That's all I got so far." She apologized. "I still haven't figured out to end it yet. You're complicated."

"So they say." I heaved a sigh. It was almost one in the afternoon already. I was still tired from the night before. I'd switched off my phone so I couldn't get any calls.

"You okay?" I felt her hand stroke my hair. She literally gave me goosebumps. She sounded so much like Kairi sometimes it wasn't even funny.

I sighed. "Just…play for me."

She was quiet for a while. "Okay."

* * *

"Tifa told you about me, right?"

I searched her face. She wasn't betraying any emotions; she had that neutral smile on. I had no idea if she was angry, nervous or sad.

She exhaled sharply. "This is exactly what I was afraid of…you're never going to look at me the same now."

"What? I don't…" I stopped myself, trying to figure out what to say.

She shook her head, her fingers slipping away from the piano. "You were giving me that look before. That…_pitying _look. I'm not dumb. Even if you didn't notice it yourself, I did. You're just going to see me as some nutcase now."

"Xion, shut up."

She pressed her lips together, looking slightly hurt.

"I don't know where you got that misconception, but don't assume I'm going to think any less of you now I know you've got a problem. If anything I admire you even more." I reached over to fix her fringe. "For being able to fight something like this."

Her eyes sparkled, and if I wasn't mistaken it looked like she was about to cry. "I…"

And then she grimaced.

"Ew. Stop being so corny. Seriously it's making me sick."

I couldn't hold back a smile at that. I knew her too well to take offense to pretty much anything she said.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was almost three by the time if finally left Seventh Heaven. The afternoon/evening customers had started to flood in already. The afternoon sun was shining high in the sky. I'd fallen asleep to 'Your Song' and woken up to Xion playing Angry Birds on Tifa's cell phone.

I gave Xion a hug and said I'd see her around. I wasn't even sure if I could guarantee that, but I didn't want her to worry. There was honestly no point.

I took a bus to the apartment complex. I switched on my phone. I'd gotten countless messages, but I couldn't be bothered to read them.

I thought about Kairi. Her lips, her smell, her eyes, her voice…I missed everything about her so much it was unbearable. It was at times like these that I wished I could just delve into my brain and rip out all the memories associated with her and just move on with my life like she had never happened.

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts I didn't even notice when I'd arrived.

I could vaguely hear yelling coming from the Lounge room. I pushed open the door to the bedroom, which was ajar, hearing the familiar squeak of the hinges. I planned to just collapse into bed and sleep for the rest of the day or whatever. Of course, I couldn't even have that satisfaction.

It was Kadaj who entered first.

He was livid. His periwinkle eyes narrowed to slits. He looked like an evil cat. "You. You _bastard._"

I didn't even have time to react. He whacked me across the face.

I doubled over in pain.

Now it wouldn't have hurt, usually—or at least I would have been able to endure it—had he not been holding a handgun.

I cradled my aching cheek, pretty sure he'd cut a bruise, biting down on my lip to hold back a cry. I could taste the iron. I was pretty positive he'd bruised my bone as well.

"You absolute idiot. What the fuck is wrong with you? You think you can just disappear and turn up whenever you fucking want to?"

"We thought you'd run away," Yazoo explained. "We were about to send people out to look for you and everything."

"Because you care oh so much about my wellbeing," I muttered, wincing as my cheek erupted in pain yet again from the movement.

"No, not really. If you'd come back any later we would have been ordered to kill you." He said it so calmly, like killing people was an everyday occurrence or something, and something in his tone scared the fuck out of me.

"Where the hell were you?" Loz demanded, giving me an unreadable glare. "You're lucky the boss didn't realize you were missing."

"You can't make me…stay here…" The pain was starting to spread and I was starting to get a headache. "I hate you all. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone for at least one day, huh? I needed space, I needed a break from all this shit, and you guys are all down my throat because—"

"Look, just don't try it again, okay?" Kadaj hissed. "Unless you have a death wish."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was like I was getting a new bruise every day. As soon as one had begun to heal, I got another. It was beyond annoying.

The new bruise on my cheek gave me an excuse to skive off school the next day, and after that I just figured I might as well stay home for the rest of the week. They wouldn't allow me leave the apartment anyway.

Once or twice I was the only one left once everyone left in the morning. I had a good idea of what they were doing. I just had no idea how many people needed drugs that badly. From the viewpoint of a tourist, Destiny Islands seemed idyllic, surreal, a dreamland. The mayor made it seem that way anyway. And as I grew up I taught myself to believe that.

At school I got to forget about all the shit that went on in my life, at least for a little while. I was at the top of the social ladder there. No one told me what to do. I was in control, everyone listened to _me_…it was a good distraction. I got to pretend my life was perfect. To everyone else, that's what it looked like anyway.

I planned to just slip back into school, continue on as normal. I'd have to apologize to Kairi, of course. I honestly didn't care what I had to do to make her know I was sorry.

I tried to get drunk a few times. There seemed to be a constant party in the lounge room every night. There'd be girls, none of which ever seemed to be sober. They were usually different each time, though there were a few regulars. They were beyond intimidating, and the fact that a lot of them were dressed like hookers didn't help at all. The noise carried on until late at night. They didn't seem to care. I'd drink and watch everyone socialize while I struggled not to explode. I'd wake up on the floor or next to some entangled couple each morning.

They dragged me on a few 'errands' once or twice. The usual. Pick this up here, drop that off there. Don't let anyone see you. I'd learnt not to ask questions, to try and figure out what was in the parcel.

The week flew by in a blur of runs, booze and sleepless nights. My bruise healed quicker than I expected. Which meant…school.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

They looked at me like I was crazy.

"School? Are you fucking serious." Seifer raised a dark blonde eyebrow at me.

"Of course he's not." Kadaj patted my shoulder in a way that would have looked brotherly to anyone who didn't know Kadaj as much as I did. "Right, Riku?"

I shrugged, picking up my backpack. "I need to get some education."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

I ignored him, tightening the bandage around my forearm. I'd taken the quickest shower possible and borrowed some clothes from Irvine. He'd been too hungover to care anyway.

I'd gotten a little hungover myself and it was nearly ten am by the time I came to, but I wasn't about to miss a whole nother day of school. I needed to get out of the Shithole before I went insane.

"Fine." Kadaj crossed his arms and marched back into the bedroom, probably to wake up Irvine or something.

Seifer smirked. "I'll be here when you change your mind."

"You're gonna be waiting a long time."

He scoffed, dismissing me. "Trust me, I know. I've tried juggling school and the fast life, and it isn't easy."

I decided to take my leave, sick of listening to his garbage. "Right. Whatever."

I was halfway down the stairs when I heard him yell: "Don't try anything stupid."

I knew what he meant by that. He was advising me not to run away.

Well, I didn't exactly have a choice, did I?

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It was one of those days when it was so hot that you felt you could fry eggs on your bare arm. I'd barely made it to the bus stop before I started sweating. I wrapped my hair into a ponytail, though it didn't help much.

I knew I'd have to come up with some kind of excuse for my long absence, but that was the least of my problems. I'd have to find Kairi before I did anything else.

The hallways were slightly empty apart from a few people when I arrived, so I figured the lunch bell had rung not too long ago. I broke into a sprint, heading for the cafeteria.

It seemed like ages since I'd been at school; it was weird. I kind of did miss it. Socializing and all that. Well I had spent the last month in and out of consciousness, getting drunk or running around with people who didn't care whether I was dead or alive, after all. I did miss my friends.

And, I guess, I was also kind of excited to see Sora again.

The noise and indistinct chatter was kind of welcoming, and I felt myself smile slightly.

And then it stopped. Everyone stopped talking, and just looked at me.

For a split-second. For some reason it felt uncomfortable.

That was the first clue that something was wrong, but I was completely oblivious to it all.

They all continued on, as usual. I brushed off the confusion and headed to the counter to order my lunch. The lunch lady glared at me, which I found a little strange, but I brushed that off as well. They'd never exactly been friendly anyway.

I headed to our usual table, absently trying to cook up a lie, an excuse for my absence. I knew they'd ask questions. They were all at the usual table…well, all except Kairi.

I put on my most convincing smile and set my tray down next to Shuyin. "Hey—" I froze at the glare he gave me. "What…?"

They didn't say anything. All of them, they all had the same expression on their face. I had no idea what the hell they were trying to tell me; I'd never really been that good at reading anyone but Kairi.

I frowned. "Shu, I need to sit down."

"Seat's taken."

"There is _no one _sitting there."

"I said the seat's taken."

He was starting to make a scene. I was growing irritated with him, and slightly hurt. "What…is this sexual frustration talking or something? Did Lenne deny you sex last night, is that why you're—"

"Riku, shut up."

That's when I finally realized something was wrong.

The look in Yuna's eyes, blazing anger, shame, disappointment…

I knew what was wrong now.

She knew.

They all knew.

About…

…_no._

My throat felt tight all of a sudden. I felt like my heart was going to explode, how fast it was beating. The chattering crowd suddenly sounded at least a hundred decibels louder.

And then it came.

The pie. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and hit me square on the back of my head. It was so unexpected and such a hard hit that I ended up losing my balance.

Silence.

I felt it soak my hair. I could smell the syrup. I had no idea what kind of pie it was, but I knew it would take forever to take out of my hair.

Humiliated, I turned to see whoever it was who'd thrown it at me.

And I swear, at that moment, my heart stopped.

Sora. Sora Fucking Kyumuke.

He looked so much more intimidating now, looking down at me, his new spiky hairstyle making him look at least three years older and the results of his workout obvious in his form-fitting uniform shirt.

He grinned devilishly, and, I admit it…I was scared.

"Riku. Ha. Nice of you to show up, after a week in hiding. You coward."

I stared at him, not believing what he was saying. The look in his eyes…nothing else but pure unadulterated anger.

I was right. I'd been hoping I'd be wrong, but I'd been right all along. Sora had found out what happened, and he'd turned into this almost unrecognizable bastard. The Sora from Seventh Heaven, from barely a week before…he'd completely disappeared.

"I can forgive just about anything, Riku, but when it comes to hitting a girl? You completely crossed the line."

It felt like the room had begun to crumble around me. The murmuring began, the jeers, the boos. Everything started to blur.

My eyes found Kairi then, who was staring at the scene, her eyes wide, unreadable. All the feelings, everything I felt for her…they all came rushing back when I saw her face, stronger than ever...and I hated myself for what I'd done to her.

And I couldn't take it anymore. The look on her face, the look on his face, the glares everyone was sending my way, even the stupid computer kids who'd always tried to kiss up to me…now it didn't seem like any of them really gave a shit who I was anymore.

It was over.

I felt sick.

I pulled myself to my feet, the world beginning to spin all around me.

And then I ran out of the cafeteria.

* * *

…**THIS. WAS. HELL. WHAT THE ACTUAL FLACK THIS WAS SERIOUSLY…WHAT. **

**Feel free to review…and flame if needed…**

**As I'm writing this, I'm fighting off a terrible headache…ugh. **

**Sneek Peek:**

* * *

"_Riku…"_

"_I'm trying to help you!" _

"_Let it all go."_

"_I've made my decision."_

* * *

…**so…YEAAAAH. R&R and all that shizzle. And dw, Sora hasn't turned into a complete asshole…no matter how much this chapter makes him seem like one. **

**Just so you know.**

**Total Editing Time: 90 minutes.**

**Bai guise. Until next time. *goes off to write Addicted***


	29. INTERLUDE: ::thefallout::

**A/N: Vas happenin? :D **

**This chapter will be sombre and pretty short, since it's pretty much introducing the next part of the fic. I'll also be taking a little break from this and focusing on updating the other two regularly, so I don't give out too many spoilers. Tell me what you guys think! **

**Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be nice if I owned Kingdom Hearts? Le sigh…**

**WARNING: ...borderline smut...well not really...idk. Strictly T. **

* * *

_"I can forgive just about anything, Riku, but when it comes to hitting a girl? You completely crossed the line."_

* * *

**INTERLUDE: ::the::fallout::**

I pressed my forehead against the cool rim of the toilet seat. My forehead was scorching, my throat burned and my stomach was twisted and contorted with all the conflicting emotions. Guilt. Fear. Embarrassment. Betrayal. Abandonment.

"Riku?"

I froze, cursing silently. It was Tidus, the idiot. I honestly had no idea what the hell he was doing here. I heard shuffling, footsteps, and then he was banging on the door. "Riku. Open up."

I remained silent. I wasn't in the mood to look at him right now…to look at anyone, really. I didn't feel like answering all the inevitable questions he'd throw my way.

"Riku. _Riku_." He banged harder. "Open the fucking door."

"Fuck off, Tidus." It was meant to sound threatening, but it came out more like a strangled whine.

"Riku…" He seemed to dither. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't say anything back there, you know…defend you or—"

"Tidus."

"I'm trying to help you—"

"_Tidus_." It wasn't me this time. I recognized the voice, sharp yet slightly soft as well. Fang.

"What are you doing here—this is the boys' bathroom—"

"Do I look like a give a fuck?" More shuffling, and then she was giving a soft but stern knock on the door. "Riku…please. Come out…let us help you."

I hesitated for a while, but finally gave in. As much as I hated to admit it, I did kind of need their help. I couldn't exactly stay locked up in the bathroom forever.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, flushed the toilet and opened the door. Tidus grimaced while Fang struggled to keep a straight face.

They took me to the sink and Fang began to wash the pie out of my hair. She ordered Tidus to get me another shirt.

"But why do I—"

"Do you really want to wash this one?"

Tidus sighed and did what she told him. It was quiet, apart from the running tap water. She finished scrubbing and ushered me into one of the showers so she could rinse it out.

"He got it everywhere, ugh." She sighed. "I tried my best. Might not have gotten it all, but—"

"Why? Why…are you helping me?" I didn't think she heard me over the sound of the running water, but I was wrong.

"Because your hair looks like a bird's nest, and—"

"No, no I'm serious…_why_."

She slowly lowered her gaze, trying to keep that unwavering expression she'd mastered so well. "I don't believe any of the shit he said you did," she eventually continued. "Sounds like bull to me."

"What if I told you it wasn't entirely BS?"

She doused my head in another round of water before switching off the hose. She tousled my damp hair with a towel, babying me, her face serious.

And then she gingerly wiped the stray wisps of my fringe out of my eyes, her hazel eyes looking straight into mine. "It wouldn't change a thing."

And then we just stared at each other. And I remembered how I used to believe I was in love with her, and how I'd treated her like shit since we broke up, and that conversation in my car where she'd 'confessed' to me, and how we'd agreed to be friends, and the fact that she was there for me when no one else had been…and the fact that it felt sort of nice, to have at least one person like her…

And then Tidus came back with a clean set of uniform and the moment was gone.

He apparently hadn't noticed how close to each other we'd been before he'd interrupted. Fang was at the sink now, washing her hands and acting like she usually did, bickering with Tidus for taking so long, and I almost made myself believe the moment had never happened.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

It soon became clear staying in school was out of the question. They were right—it was a stupid idea.

Everyone knew. Apparently it had been posted on Facebook, Fang said, and people had been spamming my wall with hate ever since. She'd thought I'd have known that by now.

Everyone glared at me, gave me dirty looks when I walked past, and people had started shoving me in the hallways. No one took me seriously anymore, it was obvious. I didn't scare them. I was a pathetic heartless coward, who'd beat up his girlfriend when she'd denied him sex.

That was the story. I wasn't sure how much Sora knew, how much Kairi had told him, but the rumor had warped so crazily that they'd made it sound like I'd gone all Chris Brown on Kairi or something. I'd only hit her once, but there was honestly no point in me trying to tell anyone that. A hit was a hit, after all. I'd hit a girl, and once you'd done that, there was no fucking going back.

They'd started calling me names, even the little shithead underclassmen. The janitors, the lunch ladies, the staff—everyone knew. Some people didn't even bother to whisper. They'd point and jeer and give me those condescending glares and I'd clench my hands into fists and try not to explode. A group of freshmen girls even went to the lengths of singing Britney Spears' 'Womanizer' whenever I walked past them, since they seemed to find it fucking funny.

I ultimately lost it after 4th period. I'd spent the class trying to ignore the stares and whispers and jabs from everyone else in the class, trying not to focus on Sora and Kairi and the fact that they were fucking sitting next to each other now, and when the bell rang I was more than eager to leave.

I got to my feet and packed up my books and as I was about to leave my eyes fell on Sora and Kairi again, and I met Sora's eyes—dark, judging, impish. And then I watched him as he took Kairi's wrist, pulled her closer to him and started to kiss her. I watched as his hands wrapped around her waist and her hands wrapped around his neck and she gripped onto his shirt and his fingers got tangled in her hair…

And I swear, at that moment, something in me just snapped.

Shattered.

Demolished.

Every single injury I'd suffered up until that point combined wasn't even enough to surpass the pain I felt at that moment. I felt like someone had plunged into my chest and was slowly trying to rip out my heart, vein by vein, artery by artery, squeezing harder and harder I almost expected it to burst. It was like the room had started to spin, the stupid summer heat and the fact that Kairi and Sora were _fucking making out right in front of me _while everyone just watched it happen and _fucking cheered _while I just stood there trying not to collapse…it was too much. Way too much.

I realized it was a mistake. It was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done, ever thinking I'd just be able to waltz back into Kairi's life and apologize and she wouldn't tell anyone about what happened and life would just move on as usual. Fucking stupid. Kairi had every right to tell them about what had happened…

…so why did I feel so betrayed?

She hadn't told anyone about Sephiroth. She hadn't told anyone about the errands or about what my brothers did for a living or any of my other secrets I'd told her about, so I guessed I should have been thankful for that. But she'd told them I'd hit her. I'd lost my temper. She knew I didn't mean it. She had to have known I didn't fucking mean it.

I pushed through the crowd of bustling students on their way to their next class, ignoring their stupid judging glares and taunts and just trying to find my way to my locker…only to find about dozen of guys from the Blitzball team standing in front of it, blocking access.

I let out an exasperated sigh. I just needed to fucking get out of here already. The pain in my chest was only getting worse and they weren't helping. "Look, I don't fucking have time for this—"

"Well you'll have to make time." It was Kuja, the only other guy in school with hair remotely close to silver. "Hitting girls? That's low, Riku, even for you."

I sighed deeply, clenching my hands into fists. "Can you guys, just please—"

"We're sick of you messing around with our girls. We're sick of the lies and fake shit you feed us, we're tired of letting you get away with stealing our girlfriends, we're tired of having to fucking worship the ground you walk on."

The rest of them seemed to agree.

"You're shit and you deserve to be treated like shit."

I could barely brace myself before they grabbed at me and hauled me into the air, taking me outside. I knew there was only one place they could possibly be taking me…and that was the dumpster. I'd thrown people in the dumpster enough times to know this.

I attempted fighting my way out of their grasp, but they had me in some kind of headlock. I demanded that they let go of me, but they were far past listening to anything I had to say. They didn't fucking care anymore. I had nothing left to bribe them with. I couldn't get them girls, I couldn't get them fake IDs are party invitations, I couldn't even get them in the 'in' crowd. The only fucking thing I had left going for me was slipping right out of my grasp.

I could smell the dumpster. It was behind the Arts building, out of sight from any hall monitors or teachers, and all I could do was struggle to make them drop me. I was pretty strong, I would have been fine if it was just one on one, but going up against all ten of them was just impossible.

Before I could open my mouth to yell in protest they dropped me in, the rancid stench filling my nose.

Their laughs were cruel, bitter, a slap in the face. It reeked, and my eyes had started to water. My stomach churned uncomfortably as my arm grazed something damp and soggy. I cursed under my breath, rubbing the side of my head I'd bumped from the fall.

"Not feelin' so high and mighty now huh?"

I was lying in a dumpster. I could see their faces, looking down on me, mockingly. Their smiles were smug, cold, unsympathetic. I found it hard to believe these were the same guys who used to worship me. Who used to do what I said whenever I said it. I knew they didn't like me, but it had never occurred to me…I'd never thought that they'd _hated _me so much.

Their laughs seemed to get louder, as did the erratic beating of my heart. My hands clenched into fists. The pain in my chest only got worse, the constrictions tightening, the image of Sora kissing Kairi and her fucking kissing him back etched seemingly permanently in my mind, searing, tearing at the bare remains of sanity and control I had left.

And then it just stopped. All the conflicting emotions, all the searing pain, all the rising tension…it just disappeared. Just…blank. Nothing.

* * *

I barely noticed myself stumbling to my feet, clambering out of the dumpster. I barely noticed their shocked, slightly bemused faces as they watched me approach them. I barely noticed their pained yells as I proceeded to beat them up.

I had no idea how I managed to fight off them all off—I'd probably managed to beat up one or two of them and scared the rest away—but next thing I knew I was in a bus, on my way to god knows where.

I felt numb. Painfully numb. Like my body couldn't take the constant stress I was putting it under and just decided to get rid of all my senses of feeling or something. I barely remember anything from that afternoon. It all passed in a blur.

* * *

I remember ending up in Seventh Heaven.

Tifa was there. I ordered a drink. She handed it to me. She must have seen that I didn't want to talk. She didn't ask questions. I was grateful for that.

The club was bustling. It wasn't as full as it was on Friday nights, but it was still crowded. There were girls. A few of them attempted to flirt with me, but gave up when they realized I wasn't in the mood. I sat there, watching people come and go, taking drink after drink. Tifa attempted to ask me to stop, but I kept ordering more. And since I was a customer...she couldn't decline.

A girl came and sat next to me, ordered a drink of her own. She was smoking. She had dark bags under her eyes. She was wearing way too much make up and her hair was colored and frayed at the ends. She saw me looking and flashed me a yellow-toothed grin. She handed me a smoke, I declined.

We talked for a bit. Well, she talked. She told me she lived in the Shelter. Her boyfriend had knocked her up and her parents had kicked her out, so she was left to fend for herself. She didn't mind, she said. She liked being on her own.

She asked about me. I didn't answer. She asked if I wanted to dance. I didn't see anything wrong with that, so I said yes.

We danced for a bit, grinded and all that. She knew how, and I just followed along. It started getting a lot more crowded, so she pulled me outside. She handed me a smoke and this time I accepted. We smoked for a bit, she talked about her life, I pretended to listen.

I saw a couple making out on the wall next to us. She must have seen them too. She stood up on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear. Let's get out of here, she said.

We did—well, not really. She took me to the back of Seventh Heaven, pushed me against the wall, pressed her lips against mine. She tasted of beer and cigarettes.

But I let her kiss me. I started kissing her back. Her kisses were drunken and desperate and so were mine. My fingers got tangled in her frayed hair. We were soon topless and breathless and sweaty and I had no idea what I was doing, all I knew was that I wanted attention, I wanted comfort, and she was the only one there to give it. Maybe she felt the same way about me. I didn't know.

...the sky darkened, the moon appeared. I vaguely remember zipping up my pants, pulling on my shirt. My neck was bruised and sore where she'd bitten me. She pulled on top, adjusted her bra. Her hair was a mess, still frayed the edges. She bit down on her lip, rubbed at the dark bags under her eyes. She lit up another cigarette, gave me a small smile.

I didn't smile back. She offered me another cigarette. I took it, and we walked out of the alley alongside each other. She asked me my name. I told her it wasn't important. She told me her name was Beth.

We talked about things. Well, she talked. She told me about how she earned her money. She showed me the bruises on her neck and thighs. She told me about how sometimes life just sucked. I asked if she liked her work. She said no. She said sometimes you just have to do some things. She told me about her crack addiction. She told me about how some days she just felt like shit. She asked if I ever felt that way. I said yes. She laughed.

She told me about her first time having sex. It was in tenth grade, with some boy named Percy. She said it was 'magical'.

She asked if it was my first time. I said yes.

She said sorry.

Her phone rang. She chatted on the phone for a bit. Then she turned to me, told me she had to leave. She said maybe she'd see me around. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. She said goodbye.

* * *

I drank a little bit more, caught the next bus. I remember arriving at the complex, Xehanort's complex. The place I'd refused to call home. I remember walking up the stairs, numbly scanning the cracks in the concrete, the peeling paint on the walls. I remember knocking on the door to Xehanort's apartment.

I remember the sound of the door creaking open, the feeling of cold, rough hands pulling me in, bolting the door. I remember Xehanort saying something, taking me in with his dark amber eyes. I remembered when just the mere sight of him made me want to curl up into a fetal position. Right now, I honestly didn't fucking care.

"Ah, so you have finally returned?"

"Yes…I've made my decision."

* * *

_Maybe redemption has fallen to earth  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you stand  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
Where you gonna go?  
_

* * *

**Song that inspired this chapter: Dare You To Move by Switchfoot.**

**SO…yeah. Depressing as hell, I know. Riku…yeah he kind of officially lost the big V in this chapter, just to clarify. Surprising, huh? Omg you have no idea how awkward it was to write that…uuurgh. I'm not good at smut, and this is a smut-less fic anyway. **

**Beth isn't relevant. She's my first OC, and yes, she kind of sucks. Forget her name, forget her story. She won't be reappearing, I just needed her to instigate the thought of succumbing in Riku, to serve as some kind of pillar of Riku's transition, to represent the lower class of Destiny Island citizens…I don't know. Lol some of you guys are better at finding symbolism in my fics that I am. ;)**

**Yes, so Riku's story is only going to get more depressing from now on. This chapter was really short, not sure I can even call it a chapter…an interlude, perhaps? Yeah. **

**No sneek peeks. I'm going to take a little break from this and focus on the other two for a while. For the moment, Apologize is on hiatus. Yeah. **

**Read? Review? Tell me what you think. **


	30. Fake Empire

**A/N: Yes. It's back.**

**Songs of the Chapter: **_**Fake Empire**_** by The National.**

**Disclaimer: no**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS A LOT MORE MATURE THAN THE PREVIOUS ONES. JUST A HEADS-UP. I should probably say this chapter is M-rated? Violence, vulgarity, drug use, dub con and the like. (I can't write smut, so don't expect any smut...)**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY, IN APOLOGIZE…**

…

"Ah, so you have finally returned?"

"Yes…I've made my decision."

* * *

**Chapter 30: Fake Empire**

"You want to get out of here?"

The music was heavy and loud and sexy, the club was packed, the DJ was sick and everyone who wasn't high on weed was high on the summer air. The girl I was with was gorgeous – blonde, curvy and smelled like pineapples. She'd come off a little shy at first, but she was bold with her body and unapologetic with her mouth, and I liked that. We'd been making out for the past half hour, I was spectacularly buzzed, and I could tell she'd been getting impatient.

She let out something between a sigh of relief and a laugh. "Thought you'd never ask."

I knocked back what was left of my drink, left a twenty on the counter – I had no idea how many drinks I'd had and that seemed like a safe estimate – and took her by the shoulder.

Seifer was lounging on the couch with Rai and Zell and an almost sinful number of drunk girls. Seifer was the only one who caught my eye, returning my nod with a two-fingered salute. He didn't look drunk or high, and he was smoking Marlboro, so I figured he was the designated driver for the night. He didn't seem to be happy about it either.

We'd made it outside and almost reached the car when I realized I didn't have my keys. "Shit."

The blonde girl – I had no idea what her name was…Effie? Ella maybe? – sighed. "What now…?"

"Keys."

She opened her mouth to complain, so I kissed her again to shut her up. Her fingers curled at the back of my neck and she made a quiet noise at the back of her throat. She nipped at my bottom lip with her teeth, which was kind of revolting in a seriously hot kind of way.

I pulled away slowly, trying to seem reluctant, and let my mouth hover over her ear. "Just wait here."

She nodded dumbly, and I headed back inside.

I pushed my way through the moving bodies, praying to the gods somebody hadn't stolen my keys because the car wasn't even mine and even worse I'd have to end up waiting on Seifer and I really, _really _wasn't in the mood for that.

Thankfully, the keys were still there on the counter, and I let out a sigh of relief. I was all set to head back out when I heard a familiar voice, and I stopped short.

It was Xion. She was wearing a dark green sundress, combat boots and not much else, looking out of place and scowling cautiously at the greasy-looking guy at her side. He leaned down to whisper something in her ear, her face soured, and I snapped.

Before I could stop myself I'd stormed up to the greasy-haired prick and punched him in the face.

Xion screamed. Grease Face recoiled. Gasps and curses erupted around the scene. My knuckles burned. Pitbull rattled on in Spanish.

I left Grease Face writhing and cradling his face and turned to Xion, quickly looking her up and down. I had no idea how long the brute had been with her, if he'd touched her, or what the hell she was even doing here. "Are you okay?" I demanded. "Did he hurt you?"

She stared at me in horror, and then staggered backwards. "Riku, look ou—"

A fist slammed into the side of my cheek, nearly knocking me off my feet. Pain engulfed my cheek and jaw, and I could already feel it bruising. "Fuck."

I tried to ignore that taste of blood in my mouth. My head felt fuzzy as I struggled to refocus.

"Get your own fuck, you asshole."

I could almost hear Xion scowl. "And what makes you think I want to fuck you anyway?"

Someone in the crowd 'ooh'ed.

Grease Face sneered. "What else would a little thing like you be doing in a place like this?" His lips curved in a crude smirk I really, _really _wanted to punch off his face. "You've not got much going on if we're talking tits and ass, but you look like you'd give a good blow – "

Xion's face was painfully sour and frankly I'd heard enough, and I socked him in the jaw again, harder this time. I barely felt the pain – all I could feel was intense hatred for the disgusting asshole…and the fact that my brain was muddled with alcohol didn't help.

"Get the fuck out of here or you'll regret it," I reiterated, glaring at him as intimidatingly as I could. He wasn't having it, and he attempted to retaliate. I caught his approaching arm on reflex, kneed him in the gut and twisted his arm behind his back.

More screams. I was pretty sure I'd caught everyone's attention by now. The bartender was watching on in horror. Seifer was no doubt pissed as hell.

I might have hit him again, had Xion not interjected. "Riku – stop!"

The look in her eyes told me she was serious, so I complied. I shoved him off, watching him massage his arm. He was thicker than me, but obviously useless when it came to direct combat. Funny.

I looked him in the eye and gave him the hardest glare I could muster. "Get out."

He eventually relented, mumbling curses under his breath before storming off in a random direction. Everyone seemed to realize the show was over and return to normal. My wrist felt like it was on fire.

Xion was glaring at me when I met her gaze, and before I could ask why Xion was leading me out the door. I could feel people looking – Seifer and the rest, probably – but I ignored them on purpose. I didn't really want to get Xion involved. I had no idea what she was even doing there anyway.

The air outside was crisp yet warm, a cool breeze passing us by. Nighttime on the Islands was probably the best thing about the place – even in the summer there was always a breeze, no matter how little.

I suddenly remembered the blonde from earlier who'd I'd left outside, but she was nowhere to be found. _Well fuck. _The day had been somewhat of a bust and I'd been hoping I'd at least get some reward for sticking it through…but God and I weren't exactly on the best of terms, so I wasn't that surprised, really.

Xion suddenly dug into my pockets, her hands dangerously close to my crotch, and I spoke before I even knew what I was saying. "You know you could've just asked."

The look she gave me was something between disgust and incredulousness. She rolled her eyes and retrieved my car keys. "You wish."

I fell into the passenger seat as she took a seat behind the wheel. "You know how to drive?"

"Taught myself actually. Don't have a license, but I'm not about to let you drive us off a cliff."

"I'm not –"

"You're wasted, Riku, I saw how many drinks you had, so let's not."

We both fell silent for a while. Xion turned up the radio, which blasted an obnoxious pop song. She cringed. "This is actually giving me an aneurysm."

"Not my CD," I mumbled. I leaned my head against the glass of the window, keeping my eyes trained on the dashboard to stop my head from spinning. I wondered if someone had spiked my drink.

"Your CD or not, having this in your car should be a criminal offense. You know Roxas has some great music on vinyl. Kind of a music enthusiast, he is. You a fan of the _Smoking Popes_?"

"Never heard of them."

"If Roxas was here he'd kill you."

"Well he isn't, so."

We stopped at a red light. "Why're you so grumpy?"

The glow painted her face a soft, pale red. Even in the dark, I could see the concern in her eyes, and it made me angry. "What were you even doing in there? You weren't…do you have any idea what could've happened if I wasn't there?"

She shrugged her pale shoulders. "I'm not some _damsel in distress_, Riku. I can take care of myself."

"But isn't…the scene a little too much for you?"

Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. "I'm not _disabled_."

"Still doesn't explain what you were doing at a _nightclub_."

She ignored me, focusing on the road. She wasn't half bad at driving – she took a few sharp turns and pressed the brakes way too early, but we didn't crash. She looked upset. I turned back to the dashboard.

I'd dozed off once or twice by the time we arrived. I could barely walk without tripping over my legs, and my head was still doing somersaults, but she somehow managed to get me through the back door.

We were in Seventh Heaven. If I wasn't so weak I'd have beelined straight for the door. I didn't want to have to face Tifa and her questioning.

"Xion…" I doubt she heard me. She deposited me on the couch. I heard the faint thumping of house music, which meant – great – Tifa was probably busy.

I opened my mouth, only to be met with a splitting pain in my cheek. My jaw still ached, and I could still taste blood at the back of my throat.

I'd been hit a lot in the past few weeks, and I should have been used to it. It was more annoying than painful now. And whenever I looked in the mirror and saw yet another growing scar, all I was reminded of was what had made me leave home in the first place.

Xion pressed an ice pack to my cheek. I hissed. "Don't be such a baby. This'll help with the swelling."

I nodded. I closed my eyes and leaned back, letting the ice do its work. My phone buzzed in my pocket. Seifer, probably. I was half-asleep when Xion took away the ice pack and started cleaning up my face. Her hands felt small and warm against my cheek.

"We were really worried about you, Riku." Her eyes were trained on my jaw. She looked so small. I wanted to touch her. "You – disappeared. Without even telling us where you went. For days – weeks – almost a month." She stopped swabbing momentarily, resting her hands on her tiny thighs. "So of course I went looking for you."

"You shouldn't…" My voice sounded distant. My eyes were blurred with sleep.

"Well, I did. So. Sorry if I totally cockblocked you. But I'm pretty sure that blonde had fake boobs. Talk about false advertising. Dodged a bullet with that one…Riku, you awake?" A long pause. "I've been better since I met you. Corny as it is – it's true and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it."

Her laugh echoed, her voice turning fuzzy. "I'm not in love with you or anything. You're just…you're really important to me, Riku. And…I want to be important to you to." She started tracing shapes on my palm. "I figured you out. You have some kind of tragic backstory you're hiding from everyone, and you go out of your way to make sure it never reaches the surface. You're confident, brash, and can be a massive dick a lot of the time, but you care about people a lot more than you let on.

"You never want to accept help because you think it's a sign of weakness, and you're convinced if anyone ever discovers the real you they'll laugh – and that's your biggest fear. Being looked down on by people. …or at least it was. Until you broke up with Kairi.

"She broke something in you. You're convinced your entire world is pitch black and everyone hates you and there's no turning back and there's no way out. You're scared of drifting so far away from the light that you're not recognizable anymore. And more than anything, you're scared of your dark side. You're scared one day you'll lose control of it and it'll consume you and you'll hurt someone you love…and when you do, you'll never be able to forgive yourself."

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

A month had passed since I'd decided to quit living in a lie and accept that nothing was ever going to go back to the way it had been.

Moving in with my brothers was completely out of the question, and I didn't have much of a choice but to accept Seifer's offer to move in with him. And it honestly wasn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be.

Loz wasn't lying when he said the pay was awesome.

Seifer had an actual apartment, still in the run-down side of town but with actual running water, a television and air conditioning. It wasn't that big, and he shared it with two others not counting me, but it was a lot better than anything I'd been able to afford on my own.

Our other roommates included Irvine, who flirted with everything that breathed. When I'd first met him he'd told me his department was "guns and women, of course", a cynical smile on his face and a calculating look in his eyes. He barely ever slept in his bedroom, barely ever stepped foot in the apartment, even, and dressed like he'd just stepped out of a Western. He had an endless supply of crude jokes and he reminded me of Sora's brother and I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that. "I say things to get a rise out of people," he'd said. "Don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine."

Zell was louder, more energetic and had been the first one to reach out to me when I moved in. He had a large black tattoo on the side of his face, piercing eyes and an obsession with martial arts. He and Seifer seemed to be in a never-ending battle, insulting each other every single time they crossed paths, wrestling each other for no apparent reason…I had a feeling they'd end up killing each other one day.

The story about how the three of them ended up in the Disciplinary Committee? Seifer and Irvine didn't speak much about their past, but Zell had told me their life story in all but three days of me moving in. All three of them were orphans, raised in an orphanage in Balamb Garden. Civil unrest ended up destroying the orphanage, and they'd been sent to the Islands when they were barely finishing middle school. After nearly a year of struggling to survive living on the streets, they were picked up by Xehanort, and the rest was history.

The thing about the Disciplinary Committee, though, was that everyone had a backstory. Even Xehanort did…though no one knew what it was. The most anyone knew was that he graduated from one of the top colleges with a degree in Criminal Psychology, and no one really knows how he got from there to being a criminal mastermind, and no one dared ask. Everyone either feared or respected him.

The Disciplinary Committee had originally been a lot less violent, and hadn't always been so big and corrupt, but as time went on and more and more migrants took to the streets and the poor went on being ignored, people had to find a way to get money. They needed to stay alive.

Just like Loz had told me once, there was no 'No Man's Land'. Picking sides was vital for survival – and since I was permanently branded, it's not like I had a choice.

I'd learnt a lot in those few weeks. Like a good deal of self-defense. I had my own gun now, though it stayed permanently lodged in the back of my jeans. I'd learnt a lot more about turfs, about places to avoid and the general logistics of the streets. I was a quick learner, Irvine said. I didn't know whether he was patronizing me or being serious. His smirk was about as misleading as his fake ID.

I learnt a lot about sex. Like how pinning a random brunette against a bathroom door while only being half-aware of my surroundings could make me forget about everything shitty in my life, for a good ten minutes. How good it felt hearing someone saying my name like I meant something. How delicious it was to feel in control, for the first time I had in months. It sort of became a drug – whenever I'd find myself straying back to thought of _her_, I'd drive to the closest bar, get myself drunk and fuck whoever was willing. And if that didn't work I'd get high and maybe drink some more until I passed out.

The first week was the worst. _She _seemed to be constantly on my mind. I drank more that week than ever, sought refuge in nameless fucks with sweaty palms and thighs that felt too warm. I'd wake up every morning shaking, feeling drained and empty, feeling all about ready to collapse. I'd felt like I was suffocating, like the world was trying to strangle me to death.

And then I started getting sent on deliveries again, learning about turfs and forbidden territory and where exactly to aim a bullet. I learnt about throwing punches and weak points and in between all of it, I hardly had any time to dwell on _her _or anything else, for that matter.

It was hard to ignore it all, though. I couldn't block out everything. Like how I found out Sora was on the cover page of the spring issue of _Oblivion_ – the biggest fashion magazine on the Islands – while buying a smoke once. I'd felt the slightest twinge of pain at how much I missed him, but then I remembered he probably hated me and was most likely making out with the girl I'd been trying to erase from my mind for the past few weeks. And whenever that happened I'd drink until I could barely stand and find another nameless face and ignore how her hair wasn't red and her eyes weren't that unique shade between violet and blue and how I felt absolutely nothing.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Who was that girl?" Irvine asked. It was the next day, and we were hanging near the skate park. It was pretty neutral territory, and the perfect place to just spend the little free time we had. The awning we were sitting under was part of an abandoned tire shop that had apparently never been finished.

I'd managed to escape from _Seventh Heaven_ – Tifa had been busy cleaning up, and Xion had left for school, soI slipped out the back door, ignoring my pounding head. I'd sort of gotten used to the constant hangovers, but I couldn't smoke it off, since somewhere along the line I'd lost it all. Or Xion had stolen it. Whatever. The night before was still fuzzy.

"No one." I said bluntly, hoping he'd take the hint and leave it alone.

He didn't. "A girlfriend? A past lover?"

"No," I sighed, rubbing my forehead with the butt of my palm. "Some dick was trying to force her to have sex with him, and I stepped in, and…" I gestured to the bruise on my face, which was bandaged now but still throbbing. "Yeah."

"A damsel in distress, eh?" He smirked into his blunt. "Kinky."

"Did you bone her?" Zell asked, looking genuinely curious. He shrugged at the glare I gave him.

"No, I didn't. It's not…it's not like that with us."

Seifer cocked an eyebrow, taking a hit of the blunt he'd nicked from Zell before speaking. "So you and that girl…you have a history?"

"I really don't see how it has anything to do with any of you," I muttered, taking a hit, and then another one just for the sake of it.

"Always so mysterious…" Zell laughed dryly, getting to his feet. "So I'm guessing you didn't get laid then?"

I closed my eyes, ignoring him, or at least trying to. It was the beginning of summer, and the shade of the awning we were sitting under only barely helped ward off the heat.

The conversation steered away from me for a while, and I thought they'd forgotten until – "You really shouldn't be seeing that girl, if you know her. Trust me, it won't end well."

I absently picked at the peeling paint. "This really isn't any of your – "

"I've tried mixing it both – my personal life and this one. You want to keep her safe, stay away from her. If you don't someone will only end up getting hurt."

He looked genuine. Seifer was very expressive unless he was angry, but for some reason I had a feeling he knew what he was talking about. I suddenly remembered something he'd said once, about having to give up a few things.

It didn't take me that long to find out Seifer had a girlfriend. Zell was pretty talkative when he was high. All I managed to glean was that she was in high school before Seifer elbowed him in the stomach to shut him up.

"No, Seifer knows what he's talking about." I hadn't even realized Irvine had been part of the conversation. "I've had to give up my own fair share of flames, but it's worth it cause it keeps them safe. You've got to realize something about this life, Riku. One day someone might not be there. Someone you love may disappear before your very eyes. It's tough when you live your life thinking that way. But that's why I fight – it's why we all do. It's dangerous, and we all had to give up things, but in the end we've got no regrets."

"Irvine gets philosophical," Zell whooped. "That's hot."

I zoned out, thinking about what he said. I was too gone to come up with an answer. I wanted to tell him that we weren't the same. That he'd had a choice and I hadn't. That we were completely different people.

But then I thought maybe we weren't. They'd all joined because they had nowhere else to go. So had I. And so had so many others. The DC had started out as a band of misfits, even if it wasn't the same anymore and it was becoming more and more like street military each passing day. Like I said, everyone had a backstory, a reason they'd joined. They'd all long since given up.

And now that I'd come to think of it, maybe I had as well. It struck me, suddenly, that I wasn't that different. That maybe this was where I belonged, and what I deserved.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

I hadn't exactly thought joining the DC over – it was kind of a spur of the moment thing and my only viable option, really – which meant I hadn't brought any clothes with me. Zell and Irvine had been more than happy and/or nonchalant to lend me clothes, but it had been more than a month now and Zell's shirts were cutting off circulation in my arms and Irvine's clothes reeked on sex and they were getting all-round tired of my shit, so that's how I ended up one afternoon at the department store.

_Seaside Shack_ had the best outfits, but I'd kind of quit my job without actually telling them I'd quit my job, and I wasn't really in the mood for confrontation, so I picked a slightly smaller, less exclusive store. I had my hood pulled up, which got me weird looks since it was in the middle of the summer, but I honestly could not give less of a fuck.

I was digging through the clearance pile for a pair of jeans that didn't look like they'd been peed on at some point in their lives, when – "Riku?"

I stilled for a second, and immediately continued what I was doing, hoping she hadn't noticed. How the hell she even recognized me with my hood up, I had no idea. Then again, she had been in love with me –

"Riku, I know it's you."

I grabbed a random pair of jeans – fuck it, I'd deal with pee stains if it meant I could get the hell out of there – and started heading for the counter, but she stopped me in my tracks, grabbing me by the shoulder and spinning me around to look at her with a strength I'd forgotten she had. She was incredibly fit and could beat everyone on the Blitz team at arm-wrestling. Bar me of course.

Fang's eyes were somewhere between frustrated and relieved. Her hair fell in wild brown waves and she looked older than I remembered her. Her lips were a thin line and her nails dug into my shoulder, like she was afraid if she loosened her grip I'd run. Which was probably accurate.

"Fang."

"Riku."

It was like she was struggling to decide whether or not to frown. Her concentrated gaze was starting to make me uncomfortable, so I focused on the beauty mark on her cheek. It was one of the small things I'd found sexy about her, once upon a time. It seemed like so long ago.

I checked the price of the pair of jeans I was holding. Reasonably in my price range.

"You cut your hair."

I attempted a shrug. I'd cut it barely a week after I'd left – it barely reached the bottom of my neck now. I wanted to make sure I didn't go back, and cutting my hair just seemed appropriate. Symbolic, and all that. Plus, it soon became obvious long hair was really impractical in one-on-one combat.

Her grip loosened on my shoulder, slowly finding its way to the nape of my neck. She stroked the back of my head and I hated how good it felt.

She let go with a sigh. "You haven't been answering any of my calls."

"Changed my number."

She frowned. She was wearing a wrap skirt and a _River Island_ cropped t-shirt that really advertised her boobs. Huh. "You should have told me. Or Tidus. We were worried about you, you know."

"…I didn't want you to find me."

She tried not to look hurt, but I saw right through her. "Oh."

We stood there awkwardly. I pulled my hood back up. She sighed. "The Blitz team lost at Nationals."

I held back a laugh. It was almost funny how much that used to mean to me and how little it mattered to me now. Everything had been so much simpler then, something so trivial had been one of the most important things in my life. I'd liked the control I'd felt being team Captain, the adrenalin rush swimming gave me and the satisfaction being good at something granted me, but it all seemed to far behind me now. I'd lost control of everything at once and somewhere along the line I'd just stopped giving a fuck entirely. "Oh. Sucks to be them, I guess."

"Yes, it does, actually." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Because there were _scouters_ at that game, and for some people winning that game could have changed their whole future. Shuyin and Wakka are graduating in a few weeks, and you being there could've made all the difference – "

"Are you even listening to yourself?" My laugh sounded foreign. "You do realize that they were the ones who treated me like shit and pretty much chased me out of school, right? You do realize Sora hates my guts and Shuyin and Wakka would rather fuck a cactus than speak to me again, right? They don't want me there, I don't want to be there, I fucked up and it's over, so walk away and pretend you never saw me and we can go on with our separate lives, because that's honestly what's in everyone's best interest here."

She looked stung. I turned on my heels and headed to the counter, slamming twenty munny on the till and bounding for the door.

She bounded out after me. Of course she did. "Riku – wait. Sora cares about you – everyone does – and the play's next week and we really, really need you there."

I didn't wait.

She didn't follow.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

"Fucksake!"

Seifer was drunk – wasted, in fact. He'd come back to the apartment with a carrier bag loaded with two bottles of vodka and a three bottles of tequila – which I thought was a bit fancy, but whatever – thrown himself down on the couch and proceeded to down them all, one at a time.

Or at least try to. He'd barely gotten through his second bottle before he was slurring his words.

Irvine was out – as always – and Zell couldn't give less of a fuck whatever Seifer's problem was. And I really didn't want to, but he was hogging the couch and he'd just broken his third glass that evening.

"Seifer." I shook his shoulder, and he instinctively whacked it away. I sighed and moved for his bottle instead, wrenching it out of his grip. He protested immediately, throwing in all sorts of curse words and even inventing a few for the occasion. "Yell at me all you want, but if I have to listen to you moan any longer I might go insane."

"Fuck off, you dick…slut-chicken."

I had no idea what he was even attempting to say but I frankly didn't care. "Look, I don't know if you're having some kind of mid-life crisis right now but it's just depressing and I need the couch."

"This isn't your fucking apartment I can do whatever the fucking fuck I want. Fuck."

Fine. If he wanted to drink until he killed himself who was I to stop him, honestly. He could go rot for all I cared.

I got to my feet and picked up my car keys. I wasn't really in the mood for sex but Seifer was being a massive bitch and I needed to burn off steam. I was at the door when he stopped me. "Wait – Riku. Reeks. Shit."

I thought about ignoring him. Briefly. "What."

"My girlfriend. She broke up with me."

I just stared at him. I didn't know Seifer that well, but in the short time I'd known him, I'd never seen him look as broken as he did in that moment. He laughed. It sounded wrong.

"It's just – fuck. I love her. She's just – she promised she'd never leave. That _**bitch**_." He made a guttural sound in his throat, like he was attempting to laugh but didn't know how. He stumbled to the sink and picked up a wine glass. I couldn't make myself stop him. "She made hell feel like home, you know? Like. She got me and stuck with me even though I fucked her up and treated her like shit." He mixed in his shot of vodka with some tequila and downed his glass. "And now she's gone. And I don't fucking know what happened. Suddenly she's disappearing for weeks and not telling me shit and I don't fucking know." He downed another glass, and then started filling another one. "What do you think I should do, Riku?"

I couldn't just stand and watch. I took the glass from him. "Well I think _we _need to go and get laid."

"I just got _dumped_ – "

"Exactly."

He stared at me, thinking it over in his head. Or at least trying to. And then: "You know what – fuck it. Let's go."

* * *

_"Lisa likes brandy and the way it hits her lips_  
_She's a rock 'n' roll survivor with pendulum hips_  
_She's got deep brown eyes_  
_That've seen it all..."_

Seifer was sloshed, so getting him in and out of the car even when we'd managed to find a good club took about ten minutes each. The club wasn't as full as I would've liked, but the girls looked desperate and the bar owner was one of ours, so it was the best option.

The music was dark and edgy, and I was halfway through my first drink when a girl with equally dark makeup walked up to me. "Hey."

I nodded into my glass. She smiled. "You here alone?"

"Nah, came with my best friend. She's just got out of a bad breakup and she's horny, so. You?"

"Same, actually. His girlfriend dumped him. He's pretty torn up about it – " I stopped when I spotted Seifer across the room, already furiously making out with a dark-haired girl that seemed to have appeared out of thin air. "Well he was."

She laughed. She had a nice smile, and really nice lips. She was also tall, and her butt made up for her lack of boobs. I wasn't sure I was up for sex but those _lips_…

"Can I buy you a drink?"

I gave her a dubious look. "Shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"What, because I'm a _girl_?"

She'd pulled the sexist card, which I couldn't really argue with, which was how she ended up buying me five drinks and we ended up making out in the back of her car.

_"L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N._  
_You've got more than money and sense, my friend_  
_You've got heart and you go in your own way..."_

We made out for at least half an hour and she might have gone down on me once or twice before I remembered Seifer. "We should probably go check on…"

She nodded in agreement, and we headed back inside. Seifer was half-asleep at the bar, his hand wrapped around a half-empty can of beer. I sighed. "I'd better go take care of him."

"Sure." The girl smiled. She paused, then: "We should hang out sometime."

She wrote her number on my arm, winked, and headed off in a random direction.

"Didn't get laid," Seifer mumbled, his words so heavily slurred they were almost undecipherable.

I pulled him up to his feet, balancing him on my shoulder. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Don't know. Head hurts."

"It's gonna hurt a lot more in the morning."

He groaned as I dropped him in the passenger seat. He seemed to pass out as soon as he hit the leather.

It must have been about ten minutes until he spoke up again. "Thank you, Reeks."

I wasn't sure how I felt about the nickname, but I'd had a pretty good night, all things considered. And I sort of felt sorry for him. I'd been in his position. I knew what regret felt like, and even more so heartbreak.

I looked at the number on my hand, written in eyeliner, and smiled to myself. I doubted I'd call her back, but that night was the closest I'd come to feeling happy in a long while.

And that's when I realized I hadn't thought about _her _for the entire night.

I supposed that was a good thing.

Maybe I was finally getting over her.

-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-APOLOGIZE-

'_You didn't think I'd let you get away that easily, did u? ;)'_

I stared at the text in horror. Xion had programmed her number into my phone. Of course she had.

I thought about trashing my phone and getting a new one, but I wasn't really in the mood for going through all that again. So I just opted to ignore her texts, hoping she'd get the hint and stop.

She didn't. My phone would buzz at the most inconvenient times, like in the middle of the night, in the middle of a mission, during sex. And the fact that they were completely pointless texts didn't help at all. _'do I look like anri sonohara or wut?' 'WHY DO PEOPLE PUT MUSTARD IN SANDWICHES?' 'have you ever wondered why the sun sets red? roxas told me once'._

I didn't understand why she was bothering with me, honestly. And I was about considering blocking her number altogether when I got a text that made me freeze.

'_I'm going to ur school play. It'd be rly cool if you were up there.'_

She sounded hopeful, like she expected me to come. And, honestly, it's not like I hadn't thought about it. After what Fang had said, I'd starting thinking things over. How everyone would be graduating soon, and I wouldn't. About how everyone still cared. Which I was sure was absolute bullshit, but.

And I did miss them, in a way.

I'd been thinking about something else as well. The thought first crossed my mind during a high, but the more and more I thought about it the more I thought about going through with it.

Emancipation. If I could legally sever all ties I had with _him _I could move off the Islands, start again somewhere else. Xehanort wouldn't have any hold on me if I got away. He had people all over the Islands, but I figured if I was careful enough I could escape. Maybe. Possibly. It was worth a try.

I wanted to believe I had hope. I really did.

Which was probably why I ended up picking up my coat that Monday, getting into my car and driving towards North Destiny College.

* * *

**So. Yup. This happened.**

**The song in the second bar scene is **l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n **by** **_Noah and the Whale._ It just seemed appropriate.**

**Thoughts? Was it good enough? Did it suck? Because it sure as hell was a pain in the bum to write, I'll tell you that.**

**Almost the end of junior year. To think I started this in freshmen year. Like. What.**

**Sneek Peek:**

* * *

"_Riku – "_

"_Promise me you're going to kick ass out there."_

"_You'll be killed in a second."_

"_You're a coward."_

* * *

**So this fic is almost over! Like three chapters left [LE GASP]. **

**Your constructive criticism is heavily appreciated. Until next time, peeps. XX**


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